Re: Babita/Ashok - Page 3

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

@guddi. Want to applaud for your courage. U were lucky coz u mother supported u

I took bc pills in secret when my 1st marriage started failing since i did nit want to bring a child into an abusive marriage. He had all my papers my edu doc my passport my cards my pan card. I really had to plan and manged to get my edu documents and passport out.

Unlike u in the beginning due to so called social pressure except my siblings especially my brother no one supported me

Luckily i found good lawyers and had lot of proofs and got a divorce through arbitration

It was tough to hold on to a job and manage everything.

It took me 3 years to put everything behind Nd find courage to marry again.

But i was always a rebel and without bro probably would have never found courage to stand up again

You are really very brave 👏

as you said your siblings were ur support every one needs support in this situation. it's very difficult to stand up against the wrong, against the world all alone.

I think this show and its themes make for an interesting study on social conditioning of men and women. Look at Lovely. She is "pampered" in her parents' home, but the fact is that she has to live there due to the conflict with her in-laws. Childlessness is something that many so-called "modern families" cannot accept even today and the social pressure can often lead to the breakdown of a marriage or a life-long one of suffering if the couple do not remain strong and committed to each other. I don't know what her in-laws are like, so I can't comment on their nature, but her husband's actions speak louder than words.

Sukhi is a completely different man from Hanuman, Ashok, or Dadaji. He may not be financially strong, but at least he has a sense of principles, genuinely loves his wife, and stands by her. However, like the meek Babita we saw initially, Sukhiji never really commanded (or even demanded) respect in the house. Her in-laws are good to him because he's their damaad, and also because he's standing by Lovely to protect her from being mistreated by her in-laws. I often feel that it's their selfishness that allows them to accept Sukhi living with them.

It's only recently that Babita challenged him and encouraged him to make something of himself and really prove his ability to support the family. I personally hope that leads somewhere, especially seeing his genuine concern for his parents-in-law when he feared they would become homeless. As insufferable as Lovely's attitude can be, we can't ignore the fact that they both love each other and he would never treat her the way Ashok treats women.

Ashok was raised to be spoiled to the core. From what Dadaji said, it seemed as if he was always a brat and his behavior was condoned by the rest of family. Dadaji and Beeji are conditioned to prioritize khoon ka rishta over all else, especially a son, so they turn a blind eye to his past and present actions. Babita has lived with them for half her life. You'd think they would grow to love her over time but they were conditioned to treat a bahu as a bahu, never really as a beti. Yes, they were nice to her, but when things got tough, they left her out on the street to suffer and took their useless son back in. Beeji, especially is disappointing, because as a woman she couldn't share another woman's pain and support her. She's a great example of women being their own worst enemies.

Dear @guddi01,

My salute to you for taking this brave step, especially knowing you had 2 little girls to look after, and also to your Mom for having the wisdom to support you and guide you towards your freedom and happiness.

I was in an abusive, meaningless marriage that was nothing but a legal one. I lived in a different country where I knew no one. Being a very shy and reserved person, I couldn't even speak to anyone about my problems. I was raised to believe that marriage is for life and that you must adjust no matter what.

I felt in my gut from day one that something was wrong but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Over time the true colors became visible and I knew that he was not fit to be a life partner or the father of my children.

My family was not supportive as they didn't even believe me. They thought I was making things up or exaggerating. I had been educated but I always wanted to be a homemaker and raise kids so during that period I didn't have a career or money, or anywhere else to go. I saw some really dark days with only God as my savior, and the inability to let out my emotions plus the pressure of pretending in public that everything was ok left me drained, until I ended up in hospital because of a nervous breakdown. The light bulb went on in my head when the social worker there asked me if there was something I wanted to tell her. That night in the hospital I had proper sleep after a long time. I was sick and all alone but felt safe for the first time.

It was a wake up call for my family, who asked me to come back and live with them. I stayed with them for a bit as I started to think about what to do with my life but once my health improved, I left home with enough savings to last me a few weeks. I knew I had no way out but to survive on my own but I never took money from anyone no matter how tight the situation was. It was tough even if I wasn't a mother, so I applaud women who have the courage to leave with their kids instead of remaining stuck because of them.

At present, my family is "supportive" because of their guilt but choosing not to live with them after my divorce, despite feeling the pressure to do so, was the best decision I ever made. It allowed me to find my inner strength, regain my self-confidence, and learn to live on my own terms.

I am sharing this because I want to encourage other women to find their inner strength to stand up to abuse or to support their loved ones if they see it happening to them. Life is not easy, but as HS says, we should look at it as a forward spiral.

This show really resonates with me and I am glad the writers are handling sensitive topics with so much care. A lot of the dialogues sound like they are directly from my heart and those of millions of women like me.

@ AnjuRish

I also want to salute you for taking that decision and your brother too for supporting you - I am assuming it meant opposing your parents, at least to an extent. He's a good role model for other men who need to support the women in their family in tough times like this.

I salute to all the brave ladies in the forum. You all are awesome, courageous. I applaud to all of you. Thanks for sharing your dark days and showing that there is ray of light on the other end of tunnel....👏👏👏

Wish you all a all the happiness in world!!

I am blessed to meet such amazing women in the forum. May you all be blessed with lots of happiness and a great present and future.😊👏

Thank you so much for your wishes @ ic_2000 and @divyadaya13.

Well I am also a single parent who brought up two boys single-handedly with no help at all, financial or otherwise from the father who just simply disappeared from the horizon altogether just to resurface many years later. After that was in touch with his sons on and off, more off than on and now it's mainly off!!!

And I got no support from anyone, from no one in fact. Not from my parents, not from my brother and no one to confide in either! Was in an abusive relationship but I was just told to grit my teeth and bear it!

Am proud to say that I NEVER took a single penny/paisa lol from anyone ever. Just worked 24X7 practically to manage and never deprived my sons of anything!

Having said all this, I don't blame Babita at all. It's true that her marriage was just a sham, that it was dysfunctional and she should have realized that something was amiss but the way her character has been portrayed I totally understand her. I kept trying for 11 long years whereas I knew from day 1 that it wasn't going to work out! And I am a highly educated woman and at that time itself I was a working woman! It's because of all that is drilled into our mind as we grow up and because of insecurity and because I had 2 children and because I came from a conservative family though I had always been very different from my mother since my thoughts had always been very progressive but well, despite all this I went on and on doggedly.

If I could go on and on hoping somehow that things would all work out, I totally understand Babita. And just like many others I pin the blame if at all it has to be pinned on someone on Ashok and Mita. Mita knew he was a married man but still went ahead with the relationship. I find that unpardonable not for moral reasons but I cannot accept the idea of a woman being the reason for the agony and anguish of another woman! and for breaking a family! PERIOD.

As for minnie, I don't understand the poster's antagonism towards her. She is just a brash young girl full of false bravado.

Yes their never thanking HS and being selfish does rankle me as well but well it's mostly because of how charming Hanuman Singh is hahahaha and because I have fallen hook, like and sinker for that lovely Haryanvi man and his dialogues.🤣

Above all I guess it's because I don't believe in being judgmental generally speaking. We can NEVER put ourselves in another person's shoes. Only they know the magnitude of the suffering and strife they are going through. I strongly empathize with Babita and Minnie except where Hanuman Singh is concerned.🤣

Because Mita was in that relationship when Ashok was still married to Babita. It's a disgrace for a human being to support infidelity . Babita was forced to be in that marriage by her in laws and brother. She had only support of a daughter who is not even adults yet. Babita was not financially independent and was in her early thirties. How hard it is to suddenly fend for oneself and a growing daughter without any experience. She couldn't do it without Mini's support. And when mini grown up to be a teenager she made Babita realize of her mistakes . Babita has already faced the consequences, Mita on the contrary was a independent woman. Let her boyfriend ruin somebody's life. She could have left Ashok when she got to know Ashok has been cheating on her and is married. That is self destructive. She got everything she wanted. Married Ashok with his parents consent . She should mind her own business. Why try to befriends Babita's daughter. Babita is not planning a revenge on her . she just doesn't want Mita in her life which is very realistic and Understandable. Why should Babita be forced to be okay around Mita. How can Babita trust mita as mini's friend after all these? These Khuranas are so Selfish. They should leave Babita Alone.

Padmajaan

I have nothing against Mini but she is a mixed up Girl since She was a small girl, and here again I say that Babita as Mother should have seen it but instead pampered her with fantasy visions of her imaginary love Marriage when in reality it was all a lie and Mini her self has said this to Babita and Mini had build up a imaginary vision of her non existent father,which were shattered when she found about her fathers affair. Here I blame Babita as she has single handed built up this romantic vision of Ashok which in relity was wrong.She is rude and does not see if there are elder to her or not. All the time shouting and starting lectures is not good and here I have to say that Babita does encourage her and smirks everytime.

She has been shown to have signs of a disturbed and anger issues as well from the beginning and Its a little wonder that She is like this as she is constantly being shown to be in a toxic relationship with the Khuranas. So why show that all the time and its high time that she moves on away from the Khuranas to recover and get rid if this fantasy of a happy Marriage broken by Mita but be realistic and see her Father for what he is a selfish jerk and to move on as well.