Good morning girls !!!! Liked reading all opinions😃.
Glad most of you liked the screaming, angry Ruhaan. I tried to watch it with an open mind again, I was still very uncomfortable. Here are my two cents about screaming, raising voice in genera🤔l.
I am not a saint, actually far from it😈, I fly off the handle, I get angry more than I should, but I don't believe in screaming matches, raising voice, yelling etc. My approach usually is to tone my voice waaay down, when I get angry, or trying to make a point, so people are actually paying attention to what I am saying NOT my emotion ( anger ). I really don't care whether they acknowledge my anger or not, my intention is for them to understand where I am coming from. Of course, people close to me understand when I go into monotone that they are walking on a slippery slope and try to make an extra attempt to understand what I am actually saying. I feel expression of anger by yelling , screaming distracts one from the problem/argument/debate on hand. All attention goes to that emotion ( anger ). That is such an unnecessary use of the interaction.
Last week, in a professional encounter, I had to raise my voice to control an uncontrollable person. Within a second, the other person calmed down and was fearful of me abandoning that person, as this person had never seen me angry/raising my voice or this side of me. Even though the atmosphere calmed down, her attention went off to apologize and appease me rather than the problem we had to tackle. My energies were spent reassuring that is not what my intention was, but rather to calm her down. We had to postpone tackling the problem as the conditions were not conducive for objective discussion. So, I feel like when the interaction happens in a paternalistic relationship where one person has a little more power ( real or perceived ) , then a show of anger will invoke fear, but not amicable or judicious resolution of conflict. I personally didn't like how I handled it, I didn't expect she could trigger me and it happened in a split second, since then I spoke with so many of my colleagues to see how they would have done it. Of course, the opinions were varied, I have to sit down to think through this some more.
But, if you are in a equal relationship, like Ruhaan, Mishti, when one starts screaming, the attention then goes off to " justification " of each person's argument rather than making any efforts in seeing the other's point of view. That is what is happening now. Mishti doesn't realize that he is mad because she is insulted, her humiliation means a lot more to him and his sanity, that he can't sit on his haunches when she gets insulted with him being around her. He even told her that " he can't live with himself" if he is unable to do anything when his precious one gets hurt😭Her contention is that he is trying to be macho and confront Veer, which is not necessary from her standpoint and let bygones be bygones. Similarly, Ruhaan doesn't understand Mishti's view as well- she doesn't want him to stoop to a level unexpected of him, she had always seen him as a level headed, grounded fellow who always kept his cool, doesn't want him to lose his head on her, on what she considers as something or somebody who is unimportant in their lives. In short, she doesn't want him fall off that pedestal where she put him😭. His contention is that she is not letting him be protective of her and deal with her insults and that is simply not fair. So, they really are not listening or giving any thought to what the other's view, BUT trying to justify their points in this screaming match. Oh man! that slamming the door on her face, he has a lot, a lot of making up to do to her. The actual problem is pushed off and they focus only on BEHAVIORS. That totally beats the issue on hand👎🏼We know very well, when you look at each one and where they are coming from, neither is wrong or off, we know they could easily have reached that middle ground if they were cool
It is OK, hopefully this is a growing phase of their relationship, they need to make it up for each other. I have high regard for Ruhaan🤓 to find his head soon in this and come around.
Meanwhile, high chances that the drooling people will be dressing the wound, drooling, crying, staring and imagining more baseless nonsense🤢This will get ME hopping mad on both Ruhaan, Mishti.
Ok, girls not sure I am making sense to any of you but wanted to clarify this for myself. Have a good day !!!