Inter cultural marriages - will work?

raj5000 thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#1

Totally aware of different aspect regarding marraiges debated here. Bring in insight on marraiges the occur accross cultures including gilrs/boys born bought up in Western culture married to someone from core ethinic culture.

Consider...

- Typical Indian / Pakistani/Begali married ot gal born and bought in US

- African American married to Chinese

- Indian/Pakistani gal married to American/UK born guy

Have met many couples, guy from us/uk marrying gal from India/Pakistan, vice sa versa, infact the best couple who are perfect match, I know, are from bride=Japan, Guy from India. Now seeing the ratio, have seen most of such marraiges fail, even if they are love...there are several issues that come in way in this kinna of marriages. One of major issue is understanding each other day to day communication lingo, then complexes etc etc

Do you think marraiges where in spouses belong to different cultural upbringing and back ground work ? keeping in mind both spouses have average for compromising nature.

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SholaJoBhadkey thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#2
πŸ˜‰

Originally posted by: raj5000

Totally aware of different aspect regarding marraiges debated here. Bring in insight on marraiges the occur accross cultures including gilrs/boys born bought up in Western culture married to someone from core ethinic culture.

Consider...

- Typical Indian / Pakistani/Begali married ot gal born and bought in US

They are usually looking for a green card πŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

- African American married to Chinese

Very successful πŸ˜›- Tiger Woods is a case in point!

Indian/Pakistani gal married to American/UK born guy

Most of the times they become more American than the Americans themselves πŸ˜†

Have met many couples, guy from us/uk marrying gal from India/Pakistan, vice sa versa, infact the best couple who are perfect match, I know, are from bride=Japan, Guy from India. Abhi mujhe se aur mere pati se nahin miley hoπŸ˜‰πŸ˜†

Now seeing the ratio, have seen most of such marraiges fail, Which ones - desi/american desi or desi/pardesi? In either case - my experience has been different. Some have failed, and usually it's been a combination of over-expectation and under-compromise! even if they are love...there are several issues that come in way in this kinna of marriages. One of major issue is understanding each other day to day communication lingo (The UK Govt. is remedying this by introducing a mandatory English exam for for future brides/grooms from the sub-continent!)πŸ˜ƒ, then complexes etc etc Complexes can be in an Indian/Indian marriage too!

Do you think marraiges where in spouses belong to different cultural upbringing and back ground work ? keeping in mind both spouses have average for compromising nature.

My take on marriages working is always the same - all types of marriages can work, provided both partners are willing and able to do so. 😊

corvette thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#3
Interesting post....

I have 3 mixed marriages in my family...

My eldest brother, married to UK English girl, 23 years married, 4 beautiful children, I'd say that was pretty successful....

My eldest sister, married to a UK Polish-Scot! 2 children, married 11 years..... I'd say that too was successful

My younger brother, married since last July to American girl now living in UK, too early to say........!

Me........I did everything conventionally by marrying a British born Sikh (like myself)
11 years on and 2 kids later, I do love myhusband but spent most of last 12 years totally and utterly miserable in my home life thanks to inlaws and their daily persecution. This year I am determined that enough is enough and I fight fire with fire and will take no more sh** from them - very un-Indian thing to do!

My conclusion?

Marriages work, irrespective of culture and background, colour or creed......

If thereis love, respect and mutual acceptance of each other.

It isnt easy when you have kids but wioth love and support from so called loved ones around, such relationships can be truly successful.

KC
return_to_hades thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 6
Posted: 17 years ago
#4
Marriage is a two way street, the success completely depends on the effort the two people are willing to put in. People from the most diverse backgrounds can have amazingly successful marriages because of the willingness and drive of both individuals to make it work, and at the same time people with similar interests, culture and background can struggle in marriage due to unwillingness to compromise.

The reason some multicultural relationships fail is because people do not think their actions through. Before a multicultural marriage both people should take time to know each other, understand expectations and limitations and see if there is a willingness to work with it.
200467 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#5

yaar, sab tarah key marriages work out honge...inter/intra-cultural/racial/religion/cast/gender...w hatever as long as all gals do what this mohtarma did and all guys do what the mahodai did πŸ˜‰

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25years.

Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".
Editor: " Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: "We had been to Shimla for Honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.
My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said " This is your first time".

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time " and continued.

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the Horse dead!!

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?"

She gave a silent look and said: " This is your first time!!! "

Husband: "That's it. We are happily married ever after. "

learn some lessons....my forum buddies 😊

Edited by Gauri_3 - 17 years ago
Dabulls23 thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 17 years ago
#6
🀣

Lesson Learned Miss Gauri ji πŸ˜‰ 🀣 🀣

How do u think some of us rocked (Survived) our marriages for almost 34 yrs πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†
Edited by Dabulls23 - 17 years ago
Bhaskar.T thumbnail
21st Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 17 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

learn some lessons....my forum buddies 😊



🀣

Very valuable lesson must say!!!!!!!!! πŸ˜†

qwertyesque thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

🀣

Lesson Learned Miss Gauri ji πŸ˜‰ 🀣 🀣

How do u think some of us rocked (Survived) our marriages for almost 34 yrs πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

πŸ˜† - petsy what u have hounds of baskerville for pets?...πŸ˜†

qwertyesque thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: raj5000

Totally aware of different aspect regarding marraiges debated here. Bring in insight on marraiges the occur accross cultures including gilrs/boys born bought up in Western culture married to someone from core ethinic culture.

Consider...

- Typical Indian / Pakistani/Begali married ot gal born and bought in US

- African American married to Chinese

- Indian/Pakistani gal married to American/UK born guy

Have met many couples, guy from us/uk marrying gal from India/Pakistan, vice sa versa, infact the best couple who are perfect match, I know, are from bride=Japan, Guy from India. Now seeing the ratio, have seen most of such marraiges fail, even if they are love...there are several issues that come in way in this kinna of marriages. One of major issue is understanding each other day to day communication lingo, then complexes etc etc

Do you think marraiges where in spouses belong to different cultural upbringing and back ground work ? keeping in mind both spouses have average for compromising nature.

Can it? yes it can.. Does it? Just sometimes... Cultural differences have more compromises then even inter-religous marriages.. atleast we share somethings there.. but cross-cultural... is veri veri wierd...

200467 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

🀣

Lesson Learned Miss Gauri ji πŸ˜‰ 🀣 🀣

How do u think some of us rocked (Survived) our marriages for almost 34 yrs πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

πŸ˜†πŸ˜† i know di. jeeju was out of his two turns by the time first month ended. bhagwaan janey baakee 34 yrs kaisey nikaley hain unhoneyπŸ˜‰πŸ˜†πŸ˜† mines crossed 15yrs this past decemberπŸ˜›

jokes apart, i feel inter-cultural marriages do bring their own unique issues with them. at the end of the day, it depends on the couple - what works best for them - but these marriages are not easy on the rest of the family. that may complicate things more down the road.....strictly speaking from indian pov.

i, personally, like to communicate in my mother tongue at home. for me, it's very hard to imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn't know my language and understands my culture from an "outsider looking in" perspective. they may have an over-all understanding but, at times, they may miss those nuances that all cultures have with in them. don't know...i'm just blabbering now. i think whatever works for folks!!!

Edited by Gauri_3 - 17 years ago

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