Hello guys, posting after a very long time, my entry to the One Shot contest held by @docritu99 for the 'A Millionaire's First Love'. So, without further adieu, I wish you happy reading! :)
P.S. Would love it if you commented your views on this
BATTLES
"You've been served." The phrase kept ringing in Neil's head, and he was unable to fathom how a mere six months managed to destroy a relationship that they took four long years to build. As he looked at those mere documents which had the power to take away everything from him that he held close, he could not help the bitter laugh that came out. It was so funny, he'd never imagined that they would ever land up here, never in his wildest dreams.
Entering into the loft that they had chosen for their temporary residence in the Hamptons, Neil was extremely surprised at the quiet that he was greeted with. Usually he would come home to Avni doing things he'd never imagine her doing, owing to the fact that she never did get time for activities due to her job. But, on his continuous insistence and a lot of bribing, Avni agreed to accompany him to New York for the two months he was forced to spend there overlooking the newest developments of his ventures. Not used to having any free time when she was back home, Avni would be bored out of her wits when he would visit the office twice a week to catch up on the proceedings, and every time he'd come back home he'd find her doing new activities. Once, he came back to see her cooking a new variety of spaghetti she'd learnt off the internet, only to burn it and trigger the smoke alarms. They still spend hours laughing over it. Another time, he'd returned to see her practicing yoga, bending her body in ways he couldn't imagine which led him to drag her into the bedroom without even muttering a proper hello to get her to demonstrate that flexibility in a more pleasurable way for both.
Thus, the absence of Avni from the couch that had become her best friend in the previous month triggered a sense of concern inside him. All the worries vanished as soon as he entered the confines of their marital bedroom which was dimly lit with his favourite scented candles, and a small box on the bed drew his attention. Before he could pounce on the gift, and destroy the wrapping paper to smithereens like the kid inside him wanted to, a pair of familiar hands covered his eyes and the smell of sandalwood enveloped his senses. "Surprise, Mr Khanna," Avni whispered into his ear, and despite their year long engagement and the two years of marriage that followed it, it still brought a shiver down his spine in a way he couldn't explain. The hands were pulled back and he missed the warmth before it was gone. She knew he had been stressed with the very short deadline he was allotted for his work, and like an always thoughtful wife, she found ways to relax him.
He grabbed around for her hand, and used it to pull her back to his arms, where she belonged. "So Dr Khanna, are we trying to seduce your very hot and dashing husband or is there a very special occasion for all this?" Neil gestured to the candles.
"Do I need a reason to make my husband feel better?" Avni replied. "Now, I know that you must be very excited to open that gift, so I'm going to let you do that because God knows you won't eat dinner or relax until you know what's in that box, so, go ahead."
Neil literally jumped out of her arms and dashed for the gift box, and opened it to find another small box, along with a greeting box. "Avni," he whined, "Why are you raising my blood pressure with all this suspense?"
"Shh, just open it," Avni smiled.
He opened it to find a small piece of plastic, with a prominent red plus sign that caught his eye. "Is this true!?" Neil caught her arms and turned around and around asking her the same question. "Am I really going to be a dad, and you a mom? God, Avni, you don't know how happy you've made me today!" Neil said as he kept peppering her face with kisses and then picked her up to twirl her around in circles until they felt dizzy. He set her down and kneeled in front of her and kept his hand on the stomach that was currently housing their baby.
Neil's smile could light up villages for miles, and then some. The candle light made both of their eyes sparkle as their foreheads met and happy tears burst out, all ready to begin a new and beautiful chapter in their life together.
He still remembers the way he felt when Avni told him about her pregnancy. He still remembers how it felt to observe her as she became a little kid while growing their little kid. He still remembered how it felt to wrap his arm around the stomach as an involuntary gesture from the moment he came to know about the existence of their little bean. He still remembered the happiness he saw on Avni's tired face despite her constant morning sickness which would extend into afternoons at times too. He remembered all the freak outs she'd had every time she felt something could go wrong. He even remembered how it hurt when everything actually did.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Avni! You know the Mumbai traffic! I went crazy just sitting in the car and even drove the driver crazy with all my nervous tapping. I promise you, I will always make it in time for every next appointment, I pinky promise you!" Neil begged fearing his wifey's hormones would burst on him even today like how they did when he told her that the specific ice cream from the specific outlet she craves was too far to go to at 2 am.
Luckily for Neil, Avni burst out laughing seeing his freak out since she knew how scared he always was of making her angry, especially with her added hormones. She smoothed the frown lines that had developed on his forehead with his fingers and greeted him with a kiss saying, "It's okay Neil, the colleague who was supposed to conduct the tests had a consult come up. It might be a while. Why don't you tell me how your day was?" She calmed him down by talking as he rubbed her back in circles.
It had been such a good day, he smiled as he remembered it. Turned out, that was also the day he would receive the worst news of his life.
"Abortion?" Neil choked out after a long pause, still unable to comprehend the words that came out of Dr Rao's mouth. Avni's hold on his hand had tightened, and his hand felt numb, so did Avni as she didn't speak a single word, nor did she react.
"Yes, your baby essentially is missing a part of his brain which failed to grow, which will not let him survive for long after birth. It will make life difficult for you both, as there will be a requirement for round the clock care, and frankly, there can be no improvements as there has been no discovered treatments for anencephaly. Which is why, my professional opinion is for Avni to undergo abortion, as it will be less traumatic for both baby and mother. I know this is an incredibly tough decision, which is why I will let you take your time with it. I'll be in my office, and you can stay here as long as you like," Dr Rao gave them a pitied smile as she left the room.
It was like time had frozen, because none of them could accept the fact that they had been dealt with such a terrible card in this gamble of life. Avni seemed like she'd disappeared out of her body, as she still refused to speak a single word or loosen her grip on his hand.
"Folic acid," Avni whispered after a long time. "I am a doctor, how didn't I know this, I should've take folic acid and we wouldn't be here, Neil, what did I do, what did I do," her voice raised in pitches until she broke down in sobs. And Neil could do nothing except hold her tight and bury his face in her hair as tears streamed down his cheeks too.
After a long devastating 48 hours where they shared the news with their families, and tried to come to terms with this revelation where Avni refused to speak with anyone after delivering a set of heartbreaking prognosis, Neil woke up to find Avni sitting at the edge of their bed, still as numb as the day of the scan, with the seemingly dead eyes that he feared would never be lit up again.
"I want to have the abortion today itself," Avni spoke in a chilling whisper, without even turning her face around. Neil nodded, knowing there was nothing they could do in this situation except mourn the loss of their child that they would never get to meet.
"I'm sorry Neil, but I don't want you in the room when I do get it, "Avni said apologetically, knowing it would break his heart into pieces again.
That was the beginning of it all. A devastating loss as big as this was always known to tear stronger couples apart, and unfortunately they were susceptible to that too. Avni's stubborn refusal of allowing them to grieve together was the first nail dug into the coffin.
He can't say that she was the only responsible one, because she wasn't. As her husband and the father, he should've tried harder to be there for Avni, but in his grief he drifted apart from the only person who needed him. As adamant as they were, never realising that they were effectively sabotaging their relationship, for once and for all. He felt so ashamed, and angry at himself, because at the time they should've been discussing their loss, and dealing with that grief the way they were supposed to, both of them lost touch with each other in a way that put them in the situation they currently were.
Constant arguments, constant arguments and fights over trivial things after everything where things that had built up over time came out, but only in the most vitriolic way possible. Until the final straw that broke the camel's back, where they had the nastiest fight they could ever imagine.
"I don't understand why you had to stay back when someone else could cover your shift, Avni! I've been trying so hard to give you time, why won't you just let me?" Neil screamed at Avni.
Avni shouted back, "Oh please, Neil, keep this saviour complex to yourself. You and I both know that you've been investing the same amount of time in your career as I have, and it was only now when we're at crossroads that you decided to 'give me time' because Neil Khanna is always supposed to be the hero! The kids needed me, Neil, just like every meeting held until the wee hours of the morning needed you!"
As they threw accusations at each other, out of frustration, out of anger, not knowing, not thinking of what the other kept on saying anymore.
"...Or was it because you needed to spend some more time away from your wife, preferably in the arms of someone else who didn't kill our f**king baby," Avni spat.
"What did you say?" Neil said in a deadly whisper, "How dare you?! How dare you Avni, to question my commitment to you, and our child in the same sentence, not only have I tried so hard to keep myself together, I've tried to keep this family together while you keep developing plans with your friends, and your colleagues, even our family, anything so you could be away from me? The father of your child? Did you think that this loss was just yours!? Well guess what, it was f**king mine too! Did you even think that maybe I was as devastated as you were, except I atleast tried to work on it with you, for you! Not run away, like you always f**king do! You're a runner, Avni, that's what you do best! That's what you always are on the lookout for! I should've known that before marrying you, because clearly our vows mean nothing to you! At this point, I don't want to hear a thing you say, so before you come up with another round of accusations for me, I'd like to leave," Neil slammed the door on his way out.
Which followed him today, where, like always, Avni ran away from him, by presenting him with divorce papers. But he would not let her get away with it all this time around. Not after everything, no, they had worked too hard to build this. He wouldn't let her take away the most meaningful thing of his life.
"You didn't even have the audacity to give me these face to face, did you?" Neil asked Avni as he entered her room at Neela's house.
"Neil, please, I'm tired of fighting you, can we please do this like civil people, please," Avni begged him even as her eyes betrayed every word that came out of her mouth .
"Avni, please, can you give me one last chance to show you, how we can make this better, how we can fix this, because we both know, Avni, that we still love each other the way we should, probably more than that, and I know we've made mistakes, but we can't break this off just like that," Neil cupped her face.
"I know that, Neil, except I can't do this anymore, I can't look in the mirror everyday without thinking that I could've saved our baby, and I failed at my one job as his mother," Avni sobbed. Neil hushed her as she buried her face in his shoulder, "Avni, you and I both know there was no way to predict this, and you are not at fault anymore than I am, so please, stop calling my wife a failure as a mother, because I know she'll be a wonderful mother to all our children. Now, please wipe your tears, and let's sit down and talk about it all. I've also made an appointment with a marriage counselor for tomorrow, so can we please take this one last chance before deciding if we want to end this forever?"
Avni nodded at him, and stayed in the embrace, in the only place she felt like home. She knew they'd be alright, somewhere deep down, because they were Avni and Neil. They could fix this, and go on to have a beautiful family with the blessing of the baby they'd never get to meet. They could be happy in the way they knew how to, but they needed to be together, for they couldn't do this without each other.
And if all the world was perfect, I would only ever want to see your scars.
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