Rikara FF: Paradise Regained (Index: Pg1, Ch 11: Pg 32) - Page 5

Omkaara's body froze for a moment. His face clouded in dark grey and crimson at the same time as his stiffened stature receded with enormous guilt. He felt something was amiss. But this was unpredicted. As he turned around facing his back towards her, with a single word refusing to leave his mouth, she spoke with a cold voice

"Maaf kijiye, aapko taqleef pahunchane ki iraada nahi tha humhe. Par chot itni gehri thi, ki main khud ki lafson ko sambhal nahi paayi"

There was a stiffened silence except for his fuming breath. His palm tightened in a wrap, nerves bulging in his arms, he personified someone who had just taken a thunder bolt.

"Jab se richa ki shaadi hogayi, main kisi bhi tharah se wahan bhaag jaane ki koshish main lagi hui thi. Ajay ek ghatiya chirota hain, yeh mujhe baad mein pata chala. Woh humhe shaadi ke liye majboor kar raha tha. Tab aap log aaye aur aapne mujhe kuch bhi kehne ki mauka nahi diya. Maine socha ghar aake aapko sab kuch batadoongi, par gharwalon itna khush the, main uski dil nahi thodna chahthi thi Omkaaraji" She spoke with a softer, cold voice filled with angst and pain.

"Toh tumne mujhe maaf nahi kiya?" His voice sounded immensely hurt and low.

"Maine aapko maaf kiya Omkaaraji. Teek ussi pal jab aapne apni dil ki baat boli.. Par meri chot itni gehri hai, ki main sab kuch bhoolke itni asani se aapke saath khushi khushi shuruwat nahi kar sakthi. Aap ne bahut kuch suna hai mujhe, pichle 8 mahine.. par jab aap ko yeh laga ki main kisi aur ke saath uss room pe waqt bita rahi thi, meri dil toot chuki thi Omkaaraji.. Jis jazbaat ko maine majboori se zindha rakha, wo uss din mar gaya aur mujhe mehsoos hone laga ki jaise sab kuch khatam hogayi ho.." Tears flowing down her eyes, gauri sat on the recliner unable to bear her own weight.

He squirmed as if he had been pierced right through his heart.. With all hurriedness, he knelt down before her, holding her hand.

"Gauri.. gauri.. nahi aisa mat kaho.. tum aisa nahi keh sakthi.. ho" His voice trembled.

"Omkaaraji. Please aap mujhe kahin aur chodayiye.. main bareilly wapas nahi jaana chahthi hoon, bas kisi nayi jaga pe meri maa ki saath baaki ki zindagi bitana chahthi hoon" She closed her eyes unable to contemplate the future of such a decision.

"Nahi Gauri.. nahi.. Maana ki tum apni zindagi mein self sufficient reh sakthi ho, par main tumhaari bina nahi jee saktha. Mujhe tumhaari saath jeena hai aur tumhe wo har khushi dena hai, jiski tum haqdaar ho. Main bas ek mauka chahtha hoon, apne galtiyon ko teek karne ke liye. Ek aakhri mauka.." His voice pleaded her as if she is the last hope left in his life.

"Main aapki saath na rahoon to bhi aap hi ki patni rahoongi. Zindagi bhar. Par mujhe nahi lagtha ab humhaari saath rehna teek hai. Rishthon ki aadhar viswaas hotha hain Omkaaraji, jo humhaare beech kabhi nahi tha. Aur main har pal ussi chot ki yaad main nahi guzarna chahthi. Jo Viswaas pehle tha .. meri man mein.. wo ab nahi hai" Gauri tried to explain her helplessness but the man in vain, wasn't ready to heed.

"Gauri.. tumhaari vishwaas ko wapas main jodunga..Sirf Vishwaas hi nahi, mere wajah se jo kuch toota hai, main har wo cheez wapas jodunga Gauri.

I ve never been a selfish person in my life naahi maine apni decisions doosron pe thopa, par tumhaari mamle mein, main Selfish hoon Gauri. Main itni selfish hoon, ki main apne liye tumhe kidnap karne ke liye ko bhi tayyar ho gaya hoon. Mujhe tumhaari saath jeena hai, aur I promise I will not let you regret this time. I love you Gauri. I love you more than anything in this world. Meri sirf ek request hai, please don't quit on me, now. Meri pyaar dikhane ke liye ek mauka do. I will not do anything that you don't like. Yeh ghar jitna mera hai utna tumhaara bhi hai. Please ghar chodne ki baat mat karo. Uski alava tum jo bhi kehti ho, main manne ke liye tayyar hoon" His desperate attempts to change her decision were on a full swing.

Gauri heaved a huge sigh. "Omkaaraji.. main yahan rahoongi toh poore dil se aapki patni banke nahi reh sakthi. Main gharwalon ko wo taqleef nahi dena chahthi naahi aapko. To main kya kar sakthi hoon?"

"Gauri. Tumhe jaise rehna hai, tum waise hi raho. Gharwalon ko main sambhaloonga. Tum meri saath raho, bas itna hi maang raha hoon."

"Par kisi na kisi din, sabko pata hojayega naa.? Toh daadi, maaji sab kya sochenge?"

"Uski fikar tum mat lo. Main sambhaloonga. Tum kisi baat ki fikar mat karo. Main handle karoonga. Bas maan jao abhi" he sincerely yearned

Her heart was already starting to melt at this yearning voice, while her mind rebuked her of the pain and turmoil. She was caught in the cross roads of pain and pleasure, while her head nodded "Yes"

"Thank you.. thank you so much.." He buried his face in her little palm while she looked over. With his thick long hair flowing across her arms, he looked a child seeking solace in the warmth of his mother. She knew very well it's not going to be easy for her to refuse him, as he is more than just her love or her devotion. He is her WORLD. Or WAS?

Gauri didn't want to think more.

*****

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