Arshi SS - Chrysalis - Completed - Epilogue up 4/19/18

Chapter 1

The muted yet unmistakable sounds of weeping halted Arnav's footsteps outside his the door to his sister's bedroom. Soft, muffled words of consolation prevented him from opening the door without knocking, and yet alarm at the uncharacteristic display of tears from his sister's eyes did not allow him to proceed further down to his own bedroom.

To say that Arnav Singh Raizada was overprotective of his only sister, Anjali, would have been an understatement. Maybe it was because she was younger than him even if it was only by a couple of years, or maybe it was because she had always been a frail child with an even softer personality, but mostly, even if he would never accept it, it was because she had been born with one leg shorter than the other and though with the help of specialized footwear, it was not obvious, she still walked with a discernible limp.

Neither his parents nor he ever made much ado of this fact consciously. They made it a point not to notice that only one of his sister's footwear was ever visible in the shoe closet, the other of the pair always lying wrapped in the crinkly paper it came wrapped in and stored in the shoe box. No one knew why the other was never thrown away till it was time to throw away the one she wore. They let her play outside but hovered over her for fear that she would fall and hurt herself, so much that ultimately Anjali believed that for both her sanity and the sanity of her family, it was better she played inside. She also particularly did not relish listening to the taunts she heard from the other children. This led Arnav to play inside with her too, his mother's smile of approval sealing the deal while ignoring the looking of reproach from his sister. He never resented the sacrificed playtime, rather, felt proud that he was able to satisfy his sense of duty as a big brother. Thankfully, her father had put his foot down and insisted Arnav attend school when Anjali was not able to, for a couple of years because of her frail health.

Unable to bear another moment of having to listen to her cries without knowing the reason, he knocked on the door.

*

Lavanya tried consoling Anjali the best she could, in vain. How could she console the crying girl when she herself felt like crying out loud at the events that had transpired today? It was all that stupid girl's fault!! Khushi Gupta!! If she could get away with one murder, she would cheerfully wrangle Khushi's scrawny neck and take great pleasure in seeing her struggle and gasp for breath. The girl with a perfect body, perfect face and too much money; no wonder everyone wanted to be seen with her and claim they were her friends...no wonder she went strutting around as though she owned the bloody place, she thought resentfully.

Indignation and ire mounting, she rued the day Anjali and she joined this college. If someone was not her friend, they became fair game for her and her gang of good for nothing losers, to make fun of and play pranks on. For some reason, she had made it her personal mission to make life miserable for Anjali and anyone who was her friend, this year after Anjali had joined college. There was no one to question her since Khushi was in her final year and the final year students felt it was their God-given right to bully the juniors in the name of ragging. But, today she had taken it to new heights thought Lavanya, even for Khushi and her gang of chamchas this was a new low.

Lavanya briefly wondered if it was because of some shared history between them that she was not aware of. It was quite possible because the Guptas lived next door to the Raizadas but she didn't think Anjali had ever been friends with Khushi. She couldn't imagine Anjali and Khushi ever being friendly. Anjali was a dream child and Khushi was...she shuddered...every parent's nightmare.

Maybe Khushi and Arnav had been friends? Were they more than friends, she wondered, her heart squeezing a little. They, after all, had only a couple of years difference and it was Khushi, who was impossible to ignore. She was sure Arnav had noticed her. But, Arnav was the quintessential good boy who was so focused on his studies and family. She couldn't imagine him hanging out with either Khushi or the kind of company Khushi kept. Suddenly, she was glad that Arnav was doing his engineering from a different college and did not frequent their college.

Lavanya had first met Anjali when they had joined the same school for Class 11. The soft spoken Lavanya had immediately hit it off with the shy and reserved Anjali. The girls soon became best friends. There was not a day that passed without the friends spending the evening in either of the girl's houses and sleepovers became the norm. For Anjali, Lavanya was her first friend outside of her family. For the Raizadas, it was a pleasure to see Anjali blossom due to her new-found friend. They were heartened to see Anju become more the kind of young woman she should have been.

The only thing Lavanya did not share with Anjali was a secret she had buried deep within her heart. That she had fallen head over heels for Anjali's enigmatic older brother was something she took great pains to hide. She had not lost her whole heart at once but it was lost piece by piece till she felt as though that beating organ beat just for him.

She had lost a piece when she first spied that small half smile. Another was lost when she saw him raise one eyebrow and tease his sister with amusement shining in his eyes and yet another was lost when he displayed concern not just for his sister but her too when they got late once while returning after an unsolicited stop at a roadside gol-gappa stall. She tried to see caring and maybe like if not love, in his behavior towards her, but much to her agony, so far, he displayed nothing but a congeniality reserved for best friends of sisters, in his behavior.

The sound of rapid knocks and the sound of a low "Anju" startled the girls out of their misery. Lavanya looked towards Anjali silently asking whether she should open the door. At Anjali's nod, she walked slowly towards the door and opened it, letting Arnav in. Today, though the jolt she experienced whenever he was near, still happened and her heartbeats increased, she tempered down her response, choosing to focus instead on Anjali's plight.

Arnav barely spared Lavanya a glance before barging in and sitting in front of Anjali. He was alarmed to see her tear-stained face and her woebegone expression. Before he could ask her what happened, she launched herself at him and sobbed into his chest.

Panicking, he tried deducing what the problem was but drew blank.

"Anju, what happened? Why are you crying? Did anyone say something? Did you lose anything? What happened? Tell me..please...only then I can do something" he cried, dread increasing at each negative nod he received for each question.

When no answer was forthcoming, he looked towards Lavanya with bewilderment and alarm etched on his face.

Lavanya sat beside Anjali and gently patted her head. Her actions belied the anger she felt and her tone was harsh when she said

"It is all that stupid Khushi Gupta's fault!"

"Khushi?!!"
Arnav didn't know why he was shocked. He wasn't sure what shocked him either; whether it was the fact that Khushi was the reason for his sister's misery or that Anjali let anything Khushi did, affect her so much.

Khushi, the neighborhood girl who lived life on the fast lane. The girl who had been the talk of the neighborhood ever since she moved here from her grandmother's house in Lucknow, at nine years of age. The girl who raised hell and thumbed her nose at anyone who dared to complain. The girl whose vivaciousness he despised. The girl whose disregard for society, he abhorred and the girl who was his secret fantasy, his guilty pleasure. He wasn't sure when it was that he had started having these weird feelings towards her. Was it when he had returned from a holiday in Europe and noticed her all grown up? Or was it when she wore those form-fitting clothes and pranced about in the name of yoga? She had been the object of his clandestine fantasies for so long now that he was unable to meet her eyes when he saw her. In the silence of the night, his fevered heart spun tales of them together while in the harsh light of the day, his conscientious mind loathed the effect she had on him. Maybe it was this constant struggle within him that caused him to be even more rigid and standoffish with her even when he passed her by. It was also probably the reason why when she had dropped by a week back to invite Anjali and him to her nineteenth birthday party, he had looked at her with something akin to disgust and had brutally told her that he or his sister wouldn't be caught dead in one of her parties. He hadn't even thought to wish her. Of course, it had nothing to do with the tiny flared skirt and the figure-hugging t-shirt she had worn. Nor had it been due to the reaction of his unruly self or the intense hatred he had for the randy eyes that skimmed her body as she walked by.

"Yes, Khushi!! She is...she is...ahhh" words failed Lavanya and she struggled with renewed anger when the mention of Khushi's name.

"Wha...what did she do?"

Anjali's sobs had slowed to an occasional hiccup now and she was desperately trying to convey to Lavanya not to say anything. But Arnav was having none of it. He needed to know and unmindful of the increase in his heart rate, he insisted Lavanya reveal to him what had happened.

"But, she is in her final year right? What did she do?" He could hear the roar of blood in his ears and his heart pounded uncomfortably.

"She...she" Lavanya looked towards Anjali for a moment, a little unsure of how to reveal the events of the day, then with firming resolve she continued

"You remember she came here to invite us for her birthday? " Arnav nodded, he had forgotten Lavanya had been here when Khushi had come over.

"Well...you told her that we won't come. Of course, we couldn't go...we didn't want to go...who would want to go to one of her parties? They would be wild ones, I'm sure...with drinking and smoking...maybe even drugs? Anyways...well...she...actually..sh..Shyam.." she stopped and the sudden tensing of Anjali's countenance had Arnav asking sharply

"Shyam? Who is Shyam?" the crimson hue rapidly spreading across Anjali's cheeks gave him an inkling of exactly what or who Shyam was especially to Anjali.

Lavanya had derision ringing in her voice when she answered

"Shayam is Khushi's sevak. He has been hankering after her forever but Anju refuses to see it. She thinks that the sun rises and sets in Shyam!!" then as though she just realized what she had innocuously revealed, she pursed her lips and looked at Anjali with a stricken expression on her face.

As the pounding in his heart intensified, Arnav wasn't sure what he was supposed to retaliate to...the fact that Anjali liked a boy or the fact that the said boy was hankering' after Khushi. What the hell was he hankering after her for? And more importantly, was she encouraging this...this...hankering? Abandoning this line of thought, for the time being, Arnav focused on trying to get the full picture of what had actually happened.

"So what about this guy? What did he do?"

"He...he...was there in the car that day when Khushi had come over apparently. I...I guess he was a little surprised that Anjali refused the invitation because...umm...everyone kind of knows...knows that Anju..." her voice trailed off.

"Go on say it!! Why don't you say it?! Everyone thinks that I am mooning behind Shyam, bhaiyaa. But, it's not true" Anjali cried, her pride refusing to take a hit in front of her brother even though the entire college knew of her crush and made fun of the way she had been making eyes at Shyam. Her eyes had been opened today, hadn't they?

"It doesn't matter..carry on"

"Well...he...Khushi told them that she hadn't spoken to Anjali but her brother had refused to give her permission to come to the party and that kind of sparked jokes...you know...the kind where they say that Anju needs your permission to speak and stuff like that."

It was obvious to Arnav that Lavanya wasn't telling him everything. He had an idea of the kind of jokes that could arise from a situation like this, but something was urging him not to let it go without knowing everything. For some reason, it became imperative that he knows what exactly was said.

"Lavanya, come to the point. What did they exactly say?" the anger in his tone was unmistakable.

Lavanya looked discomforted and unwilling to divulge the details, but she had no choice. Afterall, she hadn't done anything.

"Well...after a point, they started saying that Anju was not allowed to use the bathroom even, without your permission...and...and...things started going downhill rapidly from there. Everyone was laughing and...well...we just decided to come home"

Arnav was livid! He could feel the burning at the tips of his ears and clenched his fists to keep from hitting something.

"And Khushi? Was she laughing too?"

Disdain colored her voice as she replied

"She was laughing the loudest...almost fell off her chair laughing!!"

*

Khushi uttered a few choice words. She wished she knew some words in Hindi too...the situation warranted it. She had a niggling feeling that this was not one of her brightest ideas...but she had no choice now, did she? But that still didn't lessen her nervousness or stop her palms from sweating. If her palms hadn't been sweating, she would have had a better grip on the balcony railing. The backpack on her back wasn't making it easier either. Maybe she should have left it below...but she was sure Arnav would have found a way for them to go out through the front door and she didn't want to waste anytime coming around the house in search of her backpack. Damn!! The movies made it look so easy! She focused on getting a firmer grip on the railing and pulling herself up into his balcony.

It would all be okay it in the end...it would have to be, she thought a little desperately. If only papa had been willing to listen to reason, she wouldn't have had to resort to pulling a stunt like this! Though, this was not a stunt. She loved Arnav and she was sure he had feelings for her too. She had seen him looking at her from the corner of his eyes multiple times...and had spied him staring numerous times when she did her usual yoga routine. She was just propelling things forward. She silenced the tiny voice that seemed to imply that he never, through either his words or actions ever alluded to having any feeling except anger when she met him. Well...wasn't there a saying that went something like there was love to be found only where there was anger? She was sure once they spoke about things, they would be fine. She sighed, wishing she had just a little more time for them to get to know each other better, but, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Khushi had always known her parents didn't care much for her. Oh, they were not abusive nor did she lack for anything that money could buy. It was only their time and affection that they gave her sparingly. She had been a surprise baby born almost ten years after her brother. Her parents had been so unprepared for another child that they had left her with her nani in Lucknow when her mother had come back home to her husband and son, after her delivery. It had been her nani who had lovingly named her Khushi. She had been happy in Lucknow with her nani and with the occasional visits from her parents. It was only when her beloved nani had died when Khushi was nine, that she had been brought back to live with her parents. Initially, Khushi had felt desolate at the loss of the only parent she had known but then later, Khushi being Khushi, had found a silver lining in the cloud of grief that surrounded her, in the form of her move to Delhi. She had looked forward to knowing her parents and her brother till she realized that they did not care enough to want to know her back. To get their attention, she started behaving flagarantly till the flagrant behavior became the norm for her. Amongst all the changes, the only thing that hadn't changed from the nine-year-old Khushi was the kernel of unshakable belief that only good would happen to her because she never ever caused anyone any harm knowingly. This naivety that she retained under the exterior of a fun loving worldly girl was what made her look forward to what each day had to offer.

Khushi winced as she remembered the words she had with papa earlier that evening.

"I've had enough!!" he had screamed.

"The Mishra's have seen your photo and they like you. Their son has done his MBA and is looking after the family business. They are coming here with the shagun and the engagement will be the day after. The wedding would be in two week's time. I don't want you out of the house for the next two weeks and after that it will be good riddance!!"

He would be enraged if he could see her now, thought Khushi. Almost apoplectic...but in all honesty, he had pushed her to it, she reasoned. Granted, she had spent five lakhs on a party...but she had been upset that both mama and papa had forgotten her birthday. They hadn't even wished her...all because bhiayaa had fallen in love and had wanted to introduce the girl to his parents. That shouldn't mean that they could forget her birthday now, did it? And she had thrown the party budgeting only two lakhs but it had grown to five because Shyam and another idiot had gotten into a fight after getting drunk and had trashed the place.

It would all be fine, she told her palpitating heart. Once papa got to know that she had run off and married Arnav, he would be fine. He loved Arnav and Anjali, if the praises he had sung about them all through these years, was any indication. And Arnav would make sure that papa accepted them once he comes to know how much it meant to her, wouldn't he? He would love and care for her just the way he cared and loved his family, wouldn't he? After all, she would become his family too. Maybe he would love her just a teeny-weeny bit more than his family, she thought with a longing for something elusive shooting through her. It would all be fine...if only she could pull herself up the railing!

With a lot more effort, not to mention the scraped palms and abraded elbows, praying to every God she could think off to keep her from falling and breaking her bones and hoping Arnav was a light sleeper, she managed to get into the balcony. She needn't have worried, no sooner than she felt the floor of the balcony beneath under her feet, she felt herself being dragged inside into the light. Eyes the color of clover honey narrowed in shock while they took in her startled countenance.

"Wha...What the hell?! What are you doing here? And why are you climbing into my room at this time of the night?"

"Well...I..."

"No...dont tell me!! Is it some kind of stupid bet? Are your friends waiting outside? " She caught his hand as he tried to go out to the balcony.

"No..no...you have it all wrong! I...I came to see you..." at his uncomprehending look, she took a deep breath and plunged into her explanation

"I...got some clothes and money. We should...should run away...we can get married and then come back." He looked at her as though she had just said that she was from Mars.

"What?!!"

She was making a muddle of things in her nervousness. Vowing to be a little more coherent, she tried again.

"I...I love you and...and I know you have feelings for me too. I have seen it in your eyes.I...papa has fixed my marriage. It's in two weeks, can you believe it?? And he has ordered me to stay home. We might not get another opportunity. Come on, let's go!"

For a moment Arnav thought he was hallucinating and then what she said sunk in.

"You know that I have feelings for you? Really? How? You read it in the newspaper? Your idiot friends told you? f**k!! " he swore

"Till now I thought you were just misguided but now I know you are a fool too! I don't like you! Contrary to what you think, I don't have any feelings for you!!"

"Is this about what Shyam said about Anjali yesterday? If it is, then can explain...I really did not have anything to do with it. It was all Shyam's fault...I mean, he was the one who started it all!"

"And you never laughed? You did not join in?!"

"No!! I did not join in! I never made fun of her!" She exclaimed nodding her head in denial. At his look of disbelief and the eyebrow that rose to brush his hairline, she tried defending herself

"Of course, I laughed, everyone laughed...if Anjali too had laughed instead of crying and running home to her brother, then this wouldn't have been such a big deal! Now, she just reinforced what everyone was saying about her! You talking' to Shyam was the worst thing you could have done for her!! That was just plain stupid!"

His incredulity at the situation was fast being replaced by a red haze that clouded his good sense. His eyes turned Arctic and his tone mocking belied the cruelty of his words

"Oh stupid was it? And what you are doing now is very clever? You decided that a guy you probably haven't spoken to more than ten times in your entire life has feelings' for you. You climb up onto his balcony in the dead of the night to ask him to run away with you...and I am the stupid one? Open your eyes Khushi! I, am off to Boston, US next month. I have an admission to MIT. You, are free to do whatever you want. We are not going to do anything together! And by the way, the only thing I feel for you right now is disgust!"

He watched in silence as the tears that had filled her eyes when he started speaking, ran down her cheeks unchecked.

Over the course of the next week, he had almost convinced himself that his encounter with Khushi was a figment of his fevered imagination. Two weeks later, he left the table without completing his breakfast, sprouting an asinine excuse when his mother exclaimed what an exquisite bride Khushi had made. In a few months, he had banished her from his dreams. But nothing he did could ever make him forget the quiet desperation he had glimpsed in her on that long ago night and in the cold stillness of winter nights in Boston, he went to bed with an image of drenched hazel eyes holding fragments of broken dreams in their depths.

***