The riddle of death... (end) - Page 23

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Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Senapatichandri

hmmm story started nicely...

🤗🤗🤗

big family...caring mom,cutie pie dadi,gloomy chachi, depressed sukanya (mera hi character), vagabond and rowdy brother, chulbuli shivani, less talker maan, suspicious surya and others and a father with a person wrapping a cover of screwed businessman...

@bold: Di😆

looks like cacophony...i descover something frm the story thing

Cacophony?? 😲😆

1.in the story the family is somewhere like MAGNAMOINAK or BENISANGHARfamily...lots of charecter

Hmm... It somehow resembles with the family of Benisanghar, (But Magnomoinak??) But the main resemblance is with the upper class joint families of Ekta's serials. 🤣

2. the teaser itself is just as it is like the story of Kirity Roy series 'RESHMI PHASS'(if you want to read go ahead...its a great story) but the difference is there the murder weapon is a nylon thread and here the assassin stabbed him.

Didn't read it. If you are suggesting then I will read... 😳

3. in the story jodha said, bharmal used to sleep closing the windows always but in the moment they enter the windows are open. i feel like the assassin entered through the door and open the window so the police got confused...may be he went out through it but he defenaitly not entered through the window.

Hmm... Good observation... but what do you think about the fingerprints in rainpipe and footprints on cornice??

and with this the proofs are saying the the murderer is lefthanded and jodha said that surya also a lefty by hand so may be he is the murderer...but somehow i feel that the murderer is a female person not a male.

And why do you think so? 😉 Guesswork??

and this leftie and the open window remember me the story of KOHEN KOBI KALIDAS!!!

Hmmm... Even I did remember that. 😆

And now the writing...u need to forground the family more its just their intro and the incident happened...so hope to see the family more closely and more in detail...

Wait wait... Ei to sobe suru... 😉

i know jalal will catch the murderer bt being a bengali cant avoide to be a detective while reading one

It's your right as a reader to become a detective, and please share with me what you deduce. 😉

i loved the charecter jodha self confident and determind and didnt care about the orthodoxy thought of her family and choose jalal going against it...bravo...

Smarty girly. 😃

i love jalal...i always love jalal but this one is different like an ideal partner...
witty mischievous scrutineer patience ordermaker yet a polite head..a cunning leader yet a dutiful ACP...ufff soo much and ya a perfect lover and aperfect son in law to this orthodox family...

😆

update soon...and thanks for pm...waiting fr the view of jodha abt it...and like to know the story of Sukanya...by the way is there any mirza or sharif or adham in this story????????

You will get to know everything...😉 No Mirza Sharif, Adham. But Maybe Ruqaiya, Salima Hamida come later. 🤣

Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

At least comment something. 😔
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

CHAPTER 2:



22nd December, around 9 am, in Shivani's room...

"Tell me everything clearly... What did you see?" Jalal sat beside the terrified and exhausted Shivani who is yet to come out of the trauma of last night and held her hands. "Don't fear. Tell me..."

"I... I..." Shivani could not stop her sob and started crying again. "Stop torturing my little girl!" Radhika Singh, Shivani's mother yelled at Jalal.

Jalal looked at her in hurt eyes, and pressed Shivani's hand to give her assurance... This time Shivani gulped and started speaking. "I... I ran to call Taiji... Jodha Didi told me so... and I caught her in corridor when I was at downstairs... I called her but she didn't hear, so I ran through the stairs when she got into the room... and... and... and I heard her strangled scream just the moment... I was in corridor... I ran inside the room and saw... I saw..." She started sobbing vulnerably losing the control over herself.

"It's ok. It's ok." Jalal caressed the hairs of the disturbed girl to comfort her. "Who killed Tauji!?!" The 21 years girl broke down in cry again in her mother's arms...

Jalal gave her some time to cope up, then he started in even more soft and lower voice- "Yesterday you had told that Surya killed him. Why? How did you know that Surya has escaped? "

"I... I did not know! I only..." Shivani coughed to clear the cloud of her voice. "I actually had heard some conversation between them." She almost whispered. "Yesterday afternoon I had come to Tauji to call him after guest's arrival, and I had heard Surya Bhaiya and Tauji were quarrelling..." She wept again. "I heard clearly that Surya Bhaiya was threatening Tauji... He was telling that he will finish him!"

"Surya was threatening Mr. Singh? About what?" Jalal frowned.

"I... I don't know! Just I heard..." Shivani was gasping due to the jolt of cry. "that... that... he was shouting in loud voice, was saying that you have finished me this way, I will not spare you, I will finish you too..."

"Mr. Bharmal had finished Surya? How?" With an interrogation sign in eyes Jalal looked at Jodha who was standing outside. Jodha's glare was static right on the floor, her eyes shivering... as if she is fighting a tiresome battle in mind.

"Get lost now! Let my baby have some rest!!" Radika was desperate to throw Jalal out of the room. "Jobless people; only knows to disturb! Huh!!" She commented.

"Yes I am going." Jalal got up from the bed and looked straight to her. "By the way, where were you during the murder?" He suddenly threw a question on her which made her spellbound. "I... I... I mean..." she stammered.

"What? I am asking where you were yesterday night just when the lights got off due to load-shedding?"

"I was... I was sleeping... just sleeping!" She replied harshly this time. "Baby told na, that Surya has killed him? Go and find that moron. Why are you behind me?"

"When did you go to sleep?"

"Nearly around 10:30 we go to bed generally; but since there was a function yesterday, I got to get inside the room after 11:30 almost!"

"And you got asleep within half an hour?"

"Yes. So? What's the problem with it?" the lady again yelled.

"Nothing. You are sure that you did not wake up before hearing the scream of Nirmala aunty from downstairs?"

This time Radhika stammered once before answering. "N...no..." she said.

"Ok. I will again interrogate all when needed. Better all of you be ready for that." Jalal came out of the room and stood in front of Jodha... "I was thinking to search Surya's room once... come with me." He told with an austere look to her.

22nd December, in Surya's room...

"As expected..." Jalal remarked with a twisted smile while having a look of the empty steel cupboard. "Nothing is here except some dirty torn old and unusable dresses. For sure he has escaped on his own and as per plan." He dashed the door of the cupboard with an irritated look. "Wondering if it was planned all of a sudden, or he was preparing to leave for long time!"

Jodha told nothing but her frown was getting deeper in every moment. Slowly she went to the study table and picked up one of the copies kept there. "Normal calculations of accounts of your father's farm... these are not Surya's personal property." Jalal remarked while checking another copy. "Hmm!" Jodha reciprocated. She was quite unmindful...

"Tell me about Surya." Jalal asked suddenly. "About his relationship with you..."

"What?" Jodha looked at him with hurt glare, but there was no sign of hesitation in Jalal's face which gave her a little assurance. "Surya was my father's secretary and the manager of the farm as well. He is here from his childhood... Surya's father, the accountant of the farm of that time, passed away when he was a little kid and my mother gave him and his mother shelter, since then he is with us. He was like our family member..." Jodha sighed. "He was a very bright student; my father had pulled all the expenses of his study so he was grateful to him always... He had greater scopes outside but he never thought to leave the job here..."

"Gratefulness is quite normal..." Jalal uttered while turning a page of diary kept aside... "But I cannot recon what did Surya mean by telling that Mr. Singh has finished him?... now why did he tear these pages of the diary??" He picked his brows showing her the torn pages. "Look at the diary and the write-up. What do you understand?" He handed that to Jodha.

"Nothing special is written in the write-up. A normal daily routine it seems... dated 2oth December... means a day after we came here..." Jodha was observing the paper minutely... "A lot of doodles here and there... a lot of crosses and corrections made in each sentence... His mind was not stable; he was deeply disturbed..." Her voice suddenly became low.

"Nothing is there after this page. All has been torn out. Interesting!" Jalal gave a sarcastic smile and went to the paper basket. "Look all the torn pages are right here." He smirked and turned the basket upside down. Jodha kept on looking listlessly while he was picking up each of the papers... "Rishta hi nehi raha dilo ke bich jab koi, teri yaado se kahe de, parishaan na kare aab... Poetry!" He went through the pages. "Bada ajib sa jaher tha uski pyar me... Markar bhi nehi mitega yeh dard..." He put down the papers with sarcastic eyes piercing Jodha... "It seems Surya was mad for a girl!"

"Jalal I..." Jodha tried to clear out, but stopped suddenly with a sting of hesitation burning inside.

There was a trunk at a corner of the room. Jalal went to that and broke the lock with his special tactics. The truck is a junk of all old unused rubbishes kept carefully from childhood. "Interesting!" Jalal exclaimed while picking up a diary from that. "If Surya used to maintain diary we will get a link of his whereabouts and motives now..." Opening the first page of diary he got one little shock, then he smiled- "You were cute in your teenage Jodha, but not as graceful and confident as you have become today! Look..."

A very old yellowish photograph of schoolgirl Jodha with two braids and the brightest smile is enlightening the first page of the diary itself. Jalal handed the photo in her hand and turned the pages... "Poems, poems and poems... These romantic poetries are not my cup of tea! May be you can help it... they are for you after all!" He thrashed the diary in the trunk and opened a little box kept aside. "A full dosage of romantic bollywood film... wonderful... Mr. Surya Pandey has kept this little sign of his love so carefully... look!" He showed an earring to her...

"I am... I am explaining Jalal..." Jodha's voice shivered while uttering. But Jalal held her hand with the sarcasm intact in his eyes... "Please don't. I don't need any explanation from you... We are committed to each other and my commitment needs no explanation..."

"But Jalal you're..." Jodha's voice sank suddenly. "You are misunderstanding..."

"Not at all!" Jalal laughed off the topic and concentrated on the paper basket. Jodha touched his shoulder.

"Surya was a past Jalal!" She admitted.

"The first love?" He smiled in a twisted way... "And you never told me anything about it..."

"No. Teenage infatuation... took no time to get over of me!" Jodha said.

"But he was serious it seems. Isn't it?" Jalal smiled in a bent way.

"I have nothing to do in that... His chapter was over for me long ago and that's it!" Jodha groaned. "And with growing age the personality, likes and dislikes changes massively, and for me Surya... "

"O really!" Jalal's voice was unexpectedly sarcastic. "You don't like a poet boyfriend?"

"Jalal please..." Jodha was irritated.

"What? Isn't it evident who the beautiful girl was for whom he was writing poems and waiting from childhood? What did I say that you are reacting this way?" Jalal's voice was getting rude slowly.

"What did I do? It's you who is overreacting! I was just putting my point!" Jodha too raised her voice.

"Oh so now I am overreacting!!"

"Yes you are. I told you that he was just my childhood infatuation and nothing else yet you are taunting me constantly! If someone likes me and writes poem in my name in his personal diary then is it my fault?"

"Accha?!" Jalal's sarcastic voice again pinched her. "But why I feel you are still so much concern about him, that you are not able to accept that he can be a murderer? Obviously I am overreacting, right?"

"That's..." Jodha sighed hopelessly! "What do you want to proof then? That I am still in love with him?"

"I don't want to proof anything!" Jalal turned his face angrily. "I said I am committed to you, and my commitment neither needs any explanation, nor any proof!"

"I can't believe Jalal you're saying all these! You are quarrelling with me for no reason!"

"Of course now you will say this; but I can't talk in fabricated poetic language, I talk what my heart tells! After all I am not a poet and I cannot write poems pages after pages for my girlfriend!"

"Jalal please stop this!" Jodha shouted in insult and anger! "How dare you to insult me this way!"

"As you wish, Ms. Jodha Singh!" Jalal got out of the room with a sudden rage.

Edited by Shinning_Stuti - 8 years ago
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Updated all the pending ones, now don't know when I am going to update again. 😆
natashathakur thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Amazing chapter n thnxx for pm
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: natashathakur

Amazing chapter n thnxx for pm


You read the whole so fast! Seriously??😲

Thanks😳
divyadaya13 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
Another amazing update. Jalal is jealous here so keeping on taunting jodha. I hope this surya issue dosent shake their beautiful relationship.
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: divyadaya13

Another amazing update. Jalal is jealous here so keeping on taunting jodha. I hope this surya issue dosent shake their beautiful relationship.

Thank you😳 yes jalal is jealous. Don't worry, everything will be alright between them.
old_charm thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago

Originally posted by: Shinning_Stuti

Updated all the pending ones, now don't know when I am going to update again. 😆


& u stopped at a very bad point...😡
Shinning_Stuti thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
😆

Originally posted by: --cute.manasi--


& u stopped at a very bad point...😡


😆

Comment longer 😡

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