Sona's and asha's marriage struggles are not comparable - Page 6

Originally posted by: -Swetha-

+1 to your post, @Joker.

@TM

Excellent Topic by you, dear! 👍🏼

Originally posted by: gaurimisha

Well, I feel if Asha should have gave that advice to Dev in S1. Then, we would not be discussing about all this now.

Originally posted by: _TheJoker-

I really like your topic :)
I feel Asha had her share of problems. like we all face problems in our life in adjusting or understanding in some situation. for example, I might find a situation really funny and laugh it off whereas someone else may find it offensive. people have different capabilities and understanding of different situation.
Now there is my mother, she had faced a lots of problems in her life... now looking back I feel I would have left the marriage and house if I was in her place... she did not... but her decision to adjust and make it all nice and my decision to not tolerate crap is because we are two different persons. she has raised me but my thinking and the ability to make decisions are not influenced by her. so we can not compare how two different people would behave in one situation.

the situation Sonakshi faced Asha might have tackled it some other way which I dont know how... for me Sonakshi's decision was right. if I was in Sonakshi's place I think I would not even get back with Dev after the first beak up. but thats me... and Sonakshi is different than me.
so what Asha said might have been something educative, but it was not right in Sona's case I feel. what Asha said might have worked if Ishawri had told this to Neha. now we all compromise at some level in life.. no one gets a perfect life partner and Sonakshi never expected Dev to be perfect too. what she wanted a little respect and support and Dev failed to give that. Sonakshi still loves Dev and Dev too loves her but life doesnt go on like this... like I always believe.. Pyar Thoda Kam Ho.. But Izzat Pura Ho! in my POV Dev had failed to give Sona the respect she as a wife deserved.
Ishwari, Radha, Neha, Vicky... everyone in some or other way told her she was an outsider and Dev never really did anything.. he never understood that to make Sonakshi a part of the family he and Sona had to work together.

like Asha said.. Bijoy and She BOTH worked for it! the key word is BOTH here :)

Originally posted by: malikakas

Okay I see your perspective. But for me Dev did not slap Bijoy in Season 1. He accidentally hit him, for which Dev apologized immediately. He was also made to go through public humiliation when he came to apologize at Bijoy's house. So I think that's why Asha was more sympathetic towards him. I think Asha understands Dev's basic nature is of a good person. She sees how he is with Soha, She sees that he cares about Saurabh. She knows when Dev is given respect he is given it in return. So I can see why Asha says what she says.

So I don't think Dev was going to slap Bijoy even in today's episode. I think he made a show of it because that is what Bijoy expects of him. Like what Sam's says in her thread. http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=4823222&TPN=24

As for questioning why his MIL is living with his FIL-- again I think Asha understood it was a moment of anger from Dev and not something he truly meant. By not saying anything in return it actually forced him to get a grip of himself and apologize on his own. I think that's what Asha was saying about understanding someone's flaws and working with them. Dev is impulsive when angry and says stupid things. I think Asha has probably learned how to deal with that from Bijoy. So she knows how to handle people in moments like that. Retorting back usually instigates a bigger fight.

As for why Asha supported the divorce... I don't think its hypocrisy. Asha is allowed to be human. She may have had a human moment where she supported the divorce. But now with time and a cooler head she sees what went wrong. Particularly when she is seeing how caring and sweet Dev actually is. I also don't know that Asha is telling Sona to be more accepting of Dev's flaws is about the past or whether she means it more in the current day about how to work with Dev as Soha's parents. I also think she wanted to clarify Sona's perfection ideal-- that Bijoy is not perfect. For any future relationship Sona needs to understand that.

Originally posted by: malikakas

Yeah that was annoying of Dev. But I sort of see it as what he did today when he claimed that Sona was going to scream anyway he may as well give her a reason to scream. It was not mature. Even in today's scene I was partly annoyed, partly entertained. But I just feel like that's part of a tv serial... the writers have to add a bit of mirch masala. If Dev and Bijoy do everything rationally and maturely it would be a bit boring. I guess I don't expect Dev to react perfectly in every scenario. But what i am needing him to do he's doing.

Originally posted by: deepakloveskat

if my wife slaps my dad i would've divorced her at that moment. if sona instead of dev slapped ishwari would dev have tolerated that? the great justifications for dev god is really idiotic to say d least