Sona's and asha's marriage struggles are not comparable - Page 3

Originally posted by: Aditinarendra

How many among us would agree or compromise with the husband , who slapped your father? Yikes..

Is there any logical explanation or excuse for that.

Originally posted by: malikakas

But I think that is Asha's nature that she doesn't consider her accepting Bijoy for who he was as pain or suffering. For her it was a part and parcel of a normal marriage that your partner has flaws that drive you up the wall. You learn to accept them and live with them. And they do the same for you. And as she said with time Bijoy mellowed. There is a difference between saying Bijoy wasn't a perfect husband vs that he put her through undue pain and suffering.

Originally posted by: Aditinarendra

How many among us would agree or compromise with the husband , who slapped your father? Yikes..

Is there any logical explanation or excuse for that.

Originally posted by: Shlroy

Yes absolutely its not like sona is free from any mistakes or faults. Definitely when she was married this was her biggest flaw becoz thats her nature that she wanted to be the best bahu and to be accepted and loved by everyone like she was in Bose house and in that quest she overstepped and was overdoing everything which was not required.

But my problem is CVS are showing 2 perspective of asha, she basically said to sona today that she should be and should have been more compromising with dev's flaws. That means letting go even if dev raises his hands to slap his ex father in law and grandfather of his daughter and then questioning his ex mother in law why and how she is still living with her husband. Which I can never digest this or let go as any sane person should do.

If she thinks that sona should have been more accepting with dev's flaws then why did she support her during the divorce. Isn't that hypocrisy??? Thats my POV

Originally posted by: purva

Well then she shouldn't have mentioned it as a justification for Dev's anger today. She mentioned Bijoy's taunts to Dev.. had she gone deaf when Dev was taunting Bijoy? Was she blind not to see how Dev almost slapped Bijoy today?

Originally posted by: malikakas

Where was Dev taunting Bijoy? I actually thought he was very pleasant at the dining table. Even though Bijoy ensured he wouldn't have anything to eat... Dev wasn't really rude to him. Dev was only rude after Bijoy talked about Golu and Ishwari. Maybe Asha thought that it was justifiable anger?

I think Asha gave Dev the benefit of the doubt over whether he'd slap Bijoy. I personally don't believe Dev would've slapped Bijoy. Didn't we hear his slip of tongue when her referred to him as "baba". Secretly Dev still thinks of him as a father figure. I think that's what Asha thinks too.

Originally posted by: purva

I mean Dev's taunts since he entered Bose house.. you think they were any less than Bijoy's taunt today? So Asha should also understand where Bijoy is coming from and not dis him like that in front of Sona. Why all the benefit of doubt only for Dev and none for her husband of so many years? That's hypocritical IMO.

Firstly I don't think Dev's taunts to Bijoy were that big of a deal. Bijoy got upset over the newspaper. Dev picked it up and set it aside nicely. Dev's taunts aren't coming across very seriously to me. Seeing Asha and Dadi giggling over it says to me that Asha felt that too.

Secondly, I absolutely think Asha understands where Bijoy is coming from. So does Dev for that matter. But understanding where someone is coming from is different from thinking their reaction is the best one. Asha clearly felt Bijoy was out of line for his remarks on Ishwari and came to apologize to Dev. But I also think that if Asha felt she was responsible for Dev-- she would've explained to him that his reaction wasn't appropriate either. But Asha probably doesn't feel comfortable explaining to Dev.

I don't believe Asha "dissed" her husband in front of Sona. She is just telling Sona the truth that no one is perfect. Bijoy has a temper that has affected their relationship too. But Asha learned to deal with it to have the solid marriage that they have. Asha is calling a spade where she sees it. She is seeing that Sona's belief in Bijoy's perfection is detrimental to her. She needs to know that her father has flaws.

I think what Asha realizes that you can't control others but you can control your reactions to them. Everyone is correct from their point of view. But when we are in conflict with others how we get our point of view across and learn to understand others makes a difference in a lasting relationship. I think Asha's point was that everyone needs to improve. If Dev taunts Bijoy, Bijoy shouldn't take the bait and vice versa. Two wrongs don't make a right. In the same way Bijoy and Dev need to work on their anger issues and Asha and Sona need to work on their reaction to the temper tantrums. If one person makes a start slowly the other reactions mellow.

And just because Dev called him baba does not mean he respects him as father figure. Baba bolke thappad marne se achcha hai Mr. Bijoy hi bolo

Again maybe you believed he would've slapped Bijoy, I don't believe he would've.

Originally posted by: purva

^^ So basically anything Dev does is not a big deal for you. Looks like what you believe and what I believe is completely different. So let's just leave it at that. Because no amount of typing is going to achieve anything when our beliefs are so different to begin with. We would be running around in circles typing same things over and over 😊