Sona's and asha's marriage struggles are not comparable

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Purva

@purva

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: malikakas

That's fair. But may I ask what taunts in particular bothered you? I am just watching the episode again right now. I just feel like Dev and Bijoy are playing with each other. Bijoy smacking Dev's hand when he tries to open the dish. I find it very cute. Dev also did say that he understands why Bijoy is upset with him in the previous episode.

The way he entered Bose house without invitation and started throwing attitude.. handed over those BP pills?? Was that friendly? Was it so difficult for him to be polite to Bijoy or just ignore him after knowing the fact that Bijoy had no clue that Dev was moving in for a week? Again it might not be a big deal for you but it is for me.

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kar08

@kar08

Voyager

+ 8

Posted: 8 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: purva
^^ So basically anything Dev does is not a big deal for you. Looks like what you believe and what I believe is completely different. So let's just leave it at that. Because no amount of typing is going to achieve anything when our beliefs are so different to begin with. We would be running around in circles typing same things over and over 😊

There are many people on this forum for whom Dev's /Ishwari's actions are never a big deal. You will never hear them saying point blank, 'What Dev did was wrong and unacceptable. What Ishwari did was wrong and unacceptable." Instead you will get pages and pages of deep 'analysis' giving us the reasons for their deplorable actions. The same attitude does not apply to Sona, however. Sona's flaws and mistakes are freely pointed out, and she is easily condemned whenever these people perceive that she has done something wrong.

If it had been Sona who had raised her hand against Ishwari and then changed it into folded hands at the last minute, would we have got pages of analysis explaining where her anger came from and how she was just living up to her 'bad image'? Definitely not. She would have been roundly condemned in no uncertain terms.

There's no free pass for Sona on most threads in this forum. Dev however gets away with literally anything. There's always some 'compelling' reason why he did what he did.

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siddhi.d123

@siddhi.d123

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#33

I m not undermining Asha's efforts to be a good wife,dil or anything.But I didn't get the timing of the advice it was not related to the context of the fight or Dev's angere. It felt as if Asha is advising Sona for her married life??

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preethik

@preethik

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: siddhi.d123
I m not undermining Asha's efforts to be a good wife,dil or anything.But I didn't get the timing of the advice it was not related to the context of the fight or Dev's angere. It felt as if Asha is advising Sona for her married life??

Today ashas advice seems so misplaced.

probably it might help sona introspect on what she considers as perfect but the timing was so off. Your sil just made a threatening gesture to your husband bad mouthed him to your face & still you make his case to sona. I just didn't get her.

The cvs seem to be playing with all the characters except the trio of ish mami & Vicky. They have remained the same!

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randomramblings

@randomramblings

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: purva

The way he entered Bose house without invitation and started throwing attitude.. handed over those BP pills?? Was that friendly? Was it so difficult for him to be polite to Bijoy or just ignore him after knowing the fact that Bijoy had no clue that Dev was moving in for a week? Again it might not be a big deal for you but it is for me.

hey guys, take a chill pill , you are fighting over fictional characters. what is a big deal for you and me may not be a big deal for the writer who is writing these characters. so no point arguing. i remember jyothi's thread here. for a writer every character is his brain child and there can never be a partiality towards any of them.essentially what ever writer does , he/she tries to use 2 characters into which they feed in all their good and bad, they use one to glorify what they deem fit while the other is used to glorify the vices.

in reality every human being is a amalgam of many emotions. Today through Asha's character they sent out a strong message. " WE DECIDE ON NATURE OF PEOPLE BASED ON HOW WE PERSEIVE them " . that does not mean we are always correct or right . you can formulate your own opinion but never be under the illusion that only you have a right opinion.as simple as that.

for Sona her baba may be a best husband, but that does transform bijoy into being a best husband for asha automatically. same with Dev, he may be loud, brat, spineless and what not for sona, but that does not transform into how soha sees him.

All Asha did was open the blindfolds that sona carried all through her life regarding "PERFECTION". its a myth., its a state of mind. that 's why its defined to be an abstract term.

for sona perfection is quantifiable whereas asha subtly refuted it saying its abstract an non -quantifiable . the yardsticks to measure perfection vary between individuals, hence it always remains an abstract term.

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siddhi.d123

@siddhi.d123

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: preethik

Today ashas advice seems so misplaced.

probably it might help sona introspect on what she considers as perfect but the timing was so off. Your sil just made a threatening gesture to your husband bad mouthed him to your face & still you make his case to sona. I just didn't get her.

The cvs seem to be playing with all the characters except the trio of ish mami & Vicky. They have remained the same!

I am finding Boses behaviour to be very odd Asha was referring to them as husband and wife, Sourav called him jiju which he has never in the show I don't know what the CVs are implying by all this.Asha's advice was quite odd as if she doesn't want her daughter and SIL to fight 😕

Edited by siddhi.d123 - 8 years ago

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malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: purva

The way he entered Bose house without invitation and started throwing attitude.. handed over those BP pills?? Was that friendly? Was it so difficult for him to be polite to Bijoy or just ignore him after knowing the fact that Bijoy had no clue that Dev was moving in for a week? Again it might not be a big deal for you but it is for me.

Yeah that was annoying of Dev. But I sort of see it as what he did today when he claimed that Sona was going to scream anyway he may as well give her a reason to scream. It was not mature. Even in today's scene I was partly annoyed, partly entertained. But I just feel like that's part of a tv serial... the writers have to add a bit of mirch masala. If Dev and Bijoy do everything rationally and maturely it would be a bit boring. I guess I don't expect Dev to react perfectly in every scenario. But what i am needing him to do he's doing.

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mena_k

@mena_k

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#38

So according to Asha, If your spouse and family have a different opinion, you should be quiet and not talk to them about it but accept whatever is they are believing or doing. Great no-communication is the path to a successful marriage. What a teaching Asha is giving to Sona. Sona be a tulsi like Ishwari wished and your post-marriage session would be successful I am sure. Be alive only inside Dev's bedroom like Ishwari desired and keep your mouth shut both in front of your husband and her mother and extended family and your marriage would be just fine. I never thought no talking would be a solution to all the problems in life 😲

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mily_mathew

@mily_mathew

Sparkler

Posted: 8 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: preethik
I don't think they are showing bijoy to be bad.

Asha is correcting this notion of sona of a perfect relationship. She was conveying to sona not to base her relationships on what she sees in others that's all. As a married woman I had to work a lot on my relationship with my husband in the initial days but I would not call it a struggle by any means.

I had a problem when she doesn't let sona communicate with dev. There is a lot that needs to be said between the 2 & they need to do that before going to IN. Also dev is seething when somebody insults his mom but has no remorse when he does it to somebody else.

His character flip flop really bothers me.

This is what angered me

Asha stopping sona only makes her bottle up her emotions. Dev and Sona needs to open up a lot. And today Asha put a plug on it. I don't believe in silent compromises but talking and resolving issues. That's what Asha stopped today. U cannot ask a modern Indian couple to stay together if they lack the capability for basic communication and one person is constantly compromising. And knowing dev I don't see anyone showing him the mirror. Today's this scene was the worst from Asha for me. Not sensible but a very clever manipulation by CV's.

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malikakas

@malikakas

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: kar08

There are many people on this forum for whom Dev's /Ishwari's actions are never a big deal. You will never hear them saying point blank, 'What Dev did was wrong and unacceptable. What Ishwari did was wrong and unacceptable." Instead you will get pages and pages of deep 'analysis' giving us the reasons for their deplorable actions. The same attitude does not apply to Sona, however. Sona's flaws and mistakes are freely pointed out, and she is easily condemned whenever these people perceive that she has done something wrong.

If it had been Sona who had raised her hand against Ishwari and then changed it into folded hands at the last minute, would we have got pages of analysis explaining where her anger came from and how she was just living up to her 'bad image'? Definitely not. She would have been roundly condemned in no uncertain terms.

There's no free pass for Sona on most threads in this forum. Dev however gets away with literally anything. There's always some 'compelling' reason why he did what he did.

I think you are painting people on this board with broad strokes. Not everyone is the same. And frankly speaking I've many threads where whatever Dev does he is a villain and Sona's behavior is heavily rationalized. So I believe on the board the opinions go in both directions.

Personally, I've called Dev out on what I've thought were big deals. I personally didn't like him tying Sona up and thought it was inappropriate.

But I just don't think Dev's behavior with Bijoy to be a big issue. Dev and Bijoy have had issues for ages. They are playing games with each other. What was the reason for Bijoy to order only fish for lunch? Its rude behavior but l also don't find it a big deal. They are both baiting each other.

As for Sona.. my personal issue with Sona is that she thinks she is perfect. I find it hard to give someone a pass for being imperfect, when their entire argument is based on the fact that they are perfect and should never be questioned. So I was very happy with Asha pointing out that there is no such thing as perfect. That there are lots of perspectives in relationships. That just because she thinks something is right it may not be right.

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Sona's and asha's marriage struggles are not comparable - Page 4

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