Sona's and asha's marriage struggles are not comparable - Page 2

Originally posted by: yyy

are you saying if we compromise a little bit in a relationship then we are losing our self respect ? If that was the case then no relationship would exist in this world .Itvwas Sonakshi's decision to be with Dev forgetting last 7yrs and Asha asked her to respect that and make it work by seeing from other person's perspective.Asha did not force Sona to stay with Dev or come up with this not so practical week to week shifting .

There is a thin line between ego and self respect .i justify what I believe in and what I have seen around me .I don't believe feminism is equal to prefencial treatment or refusing to accept my loved ones mistake .I believe feminism is equal rights and Same rules for men n women .I also believe compromise is needed in every relationship and one doesn't become small if they compromise .Again I know the difference betweeen compromise and abuse .I have the guts to accept my mistakes n my loved ones and that doesn't make me a weak person or doormat . I know my rights and won't abuse that .I believe in what I say here and follow the same

Originally posted by: mehraan

I dunt think Asha was comparing her situations or problems with regards to Sona...the point she was referring to is the word PERFECT!..Nothing is perfect...Be it marraige,partner or life... The idea of Perfection is an illusion !.To strive for a balanced happy life one has to undergo lot of sacrifices n adjustments to make it happening n succesful...Thats what she meant...She was neither justifying Dev nor bitching about Bijoy...Nor was boasting about her struggles..but talking about the mindsets of many who deemed to be or that is perfectly ideal which is envisoned n dreamt but in reality such notions dont exist...One has to work for it to achieve it to be close to real n perfect...be it relationship or other important facets in life!

Originally posted by: Shlroy

It was educative to know that asha too did lot of adjustment and compromises as no marriage is easy. Yes now bijoy is loud, over reactive, short tempered and I can imagine that would have been many times higher when bijoy was in his youth. But her struggle in past and in present too to control bijoy and his anger is nowhere near sona's struggle to get accepted by an over possessive for his son mother in law, uncultured extended family of husband's which comprises of a gold digger mami and cheapo brother in law plus an always unsatisfied divorced sister in law with no or next to no public support from her husband.

Asha giving advice to not compare bijoy and dev is right but not letting sona question dev even in calm manner is just derailing and holding on to the evitable.

Devakshi should not fight in front of soha but keeping unsolved problems hidden is just gonna make both bitter and accumulation of anger

Originally posted by: purva

Honestly speaking.. how are we supposed to debate about Asha's marriage struggles when she herself has accepted in past that she didn't have to go through any pain or suffering at the hands of both her hubby and her MIL. Just to justify Dev and Ishwari's crappy behavior they are trying to show how Bijoy is also bad.. 🤪

Originally posted by: malikakas

I think what Asha is saying is that Sona could've worked on her relationship and accepted her partners flaws more readily than she did. Relationships aren't one way streets. Both parties have a role in how conflicts are managed. Dev has flaws. But Sona didn't do a great job of making her relationship work within the constraints of his flaws. She kept expecting him to change instead of changing her expectations like Asha did.

On a different thread someone, a few weeks ago, brought up the point that if Asha was in Sona's situation maybe the outcome would've been different. I agree with that. Asha is a little more accepting and understanding than Sona.

Sona's fundamental flaw is this need to be seen as "perfect". Sona's inlaws sucked. But the problem was Sona had this need to be perceived as the "perfect" bahu. But Dev never needed that from her. If anything he never wanted her to interfere in the family matters with Neha etc. But even she interfered in Neha's life with disastrous consequences, Dev accepted that as part of who she was. For good or for bad. Same way Dev's qualities also had a good and bad component. If he can accept her intrusive actions by giving her the benefit of the doubt, he would also do the same for his mother that he also loves. Understanding those qualities and working with him would've been far more productive for their marriage.

Originally posted by: Aditinarendra

How many among us would agree or compromise with the husband , who slapped your father? Yikes..

Is there any logical explanation or excuse for that.

Originally posted by: preethik

I don't think they are showing bijoy to be bad.

Asha is correcting this notion of sona of a perfect relationship. She was conveying to sona not to base her relationships on what she sees in others that's all. As a married woman I had to work a lot on my relationship with my husband in the initial days but I would not call it a struggle by any means.

I had a problem when she doesn't let sona communicate with dev. There is a lot that needs to be said between the 2 & they need to do that before going to IN. Also dev is seething when somebody insults his mom but has no remorse when he does it to somebody else.

His character flip flop really bothers me.