Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld
I am not sure of the post that you mentioned...but regarding Dev's actions...well what do I say... 😆 even after 7 years nothing much has changed betwn them ...one thing that has changed is the way they express to each other... 😆
In both these cases Sona could have logded a complaint ...but she didn't ...Would nt she have complained to the police if someone else had done it...of course she would have ...but in this case she decided to fight with him all by herself...in reality they just want to stay connected my dear...if its thru hatred then fine hatred!! If its thru anger then anger!!
Dynamics of love betwn a man and woman cannot be judged by an outsider...even kids will not understand the in dept affection that is there betwn their parents...every couple will have their own baggage . These two also have...they separated is because they even after marriage they allowed... their side of the family to decide their life and hence went for a toss...but I am sure they have understood that ..we know that when Sona defied her father by allowing Soha to call Dev and go to Delhi. Dev giving one liners to his mom and trying to justify his love for Sona.
Yes ,we can have Team Dev and Team Sona...but reality is that these two are totally in love with each other...their personal life is NIL with out each other... they are just NOT able to move on at a personal level with out each other...no one is able to heal their emotional wounds because only they can heal each other ...and after seven years when they met ...they ONLY saw the facade that these two had created for the world to see them...and in seven years they knew how to hide their personal feelings...so its difficult for them to see the old self in the other...
All they need is ONE trigger ...that would emotionally break them down to confess how much they missed each other...and for this they just need some time of their own with no one around...they will be back as one again...might not marry ...but atleast as friends...
Now you might ask , how could Sona get back to a man who hurt her so much...well then I have a question to ask...
when you poke your eyes with your finger by mistake ...do you think of hurting your finger because finger hurt your eyes...OR when your 6 month old baby scratches your face or poke your eyes in a fit of anger or playfully...would you hurt the baby back...
Answer is NO...in both the cases there is a feeling with in you that both are a part of you...and how can you hurt something that is a part of you...
Here Dev is more of kid who has lost the battle and his best place to finish of his anger is with his Sona because somewhere in his heart he knows she will never hate him !! BECAUSE SHE IS HIS !!
PS : regarding comments and posts...its a persons POV ...we don't need to take things so seriously because every time we cant agree to every ones POV...as long as we don't speak ill about anyone and not personalize it ...I guess its fine.
WRTW I know what you mean, I also don't know what to say to Dev 😆..
Anyways, let me try to make sense too 😳
I agree, only 2 people involved in any relationship should deal with the dynamics and it shouldn't be interfered by anything else. However, if one out of the two is always being made to 'understand' and forgive, then it's truly one-dimensional and does no good in the long run except for burdening that sacrificial one with long-term depression and dissatisfaction. One more thing is the concept of 'love'. There was a topic by Tia yesterday that 'Love is not enough'. This is 10000% true. Love cannot grow in the long run without respect, admiration and trust. Dev's constant lies and secrets, his absolute insensitivity towards Sona on the infertility for his Momma - are some life-changing events/realizations. If I put myself in Sona's position I cannot see myself going back to this route for whatever XYZ reason. If Love was enough for a relationship to survive, there won't be ANY divorce in Love-Marriages. But it happens, doesn't it ? I agree with Jyothi that Sona never really seems to have fallen out of 'love' with Dev, so no question of falling in love with him again. But my question is - on what grounds Sona would decide to go back to Dev. Love was truly not enough in their case WRTW. And still it won't be enough. Dev's insensitivity, his weirdest way of expressing his 'love' (by bullying, humiliating, insulting, locking someone up etc.) might not help Sona to get back to Dev again. Love survives even in separation. But togetherness cannot survive without understanding from both parties, without respecting each other, without being sensitive about each other and MOSTLY, if one constantly refuses to see things from the others' perspective, it will never work, because when we stay together, both parties amend their ways when they put themselves in the shoes of the other person. Post-marriage Sona had done that quite a few times and apologized. But Dev hardly did that. Even when Sonakshi directly told him that she is feeling as an outsider, still Dev did nothing to make her feel better, in fact was happily dancing seeing the small thing as swing outside his room. What I mean is, Dev was and is still the same. His kind of love can bear no fruit in putting a family together, it's only destructive filled with negative things like Lies, Secrets, Humiliations, Money, Power etc. (He loved Neha a lot didn't he ? What did he do to save Neha-Ranveer's marriage ? He used Money and Power and made Ranveer ousted from Neha's life). Love and Togetherness are different. Dev's love is not in that position yet to hold or even maintain a family for a longer period.
There was one more discussion (you might want to visit that lovely thread 😃) that the love between 'man and woman' is SO overrated. Why do we assume that without the 'romantic' love in life, one's life is of no worth ? What about those people who lose their love/spouses soon after marriage ? What about those who decide to remain bachelor/spinsters throughout their lives to take care of their family ? People live lives in their term and can remain happy. Love is very important in love, however not always the 'Romantic' love. You'd say Sona's life is empty without Dev. I will not deny that. To taste the love and then remain deprived of it is painful indeed. But Sona's life is not SO empty that it's filled with gloom and sadness. Yeah Indian shows and movies highlight it that way 😕. But sometimes life is also about the ending of the movie Queen where Rani finds happiness with herself, her freedom and her self-respect. Who can forget her run with open arms after she dumps the 'love of her life' 🤗.
All in all, love is an emotion which has no control over our heart. But we are also given a BRAIN. What for ? So that we use it and don't let ONE part of our body to rule every other body part. 😆 Why using Brain is seen as being manipulative ? It's not. Without brain how would one even survive ? 😆 So when I truly believe 'romantic' love is unconditional and can always be an integral part of someone although separated, one must not forget to use one's brain to evaluate if 'getting together' is worth it or not ? 😊
Last but not the least - Since you have examples of little babies 😳 which is not fair at all because babies are lovely and indecisive since they are babies 😆. However, when kids repeatedly put their fingers in their mouth which would harm them, don't we try to stop that process ? 😆 But the other example, if my finger is poking my eyes again and again without being controlled by my brain, I would rather tie it up with something and NOT let it poke my eyes repeatedly in a word would separate them. 😆 Anyways, Let's talk about one more example which involves the adults - Nuclear families. Many of my cousins and relatives have successfully separated from their parents post-marriage, took an apartment nearby and are constantly in touch with each other, however, they are separated to avoid unnecessary daily dramas and fights at home. This way the MILs and DILs actually share a better relationship than of those who stay together and constantly try to put each other down in front of everyone/wants to kill each other if given a chance 😆/bitch about the other and destroy the peace of the house.
That's what my point is precisely. Just staying together doesn't always mean it's rosy as ever since there is 'love'. Staying separate doesn't always mean that there is no space of 'love'. The kind of love Dev claims to have and the way it comes out as (anger, humiliation, bullying etc) might be 'love' to cherish in heart (I dont know), but they might not be the ingredients to run a successful family. On the other hand, Sona was portrayed as one who is calm, composed and more understanding. She is not perfect at all. However, out of say 10 qualities to run a marriage, Sona had 5-6. Dev had 1 i.e. Love. But as I said, 'Love' is not just enough to carry out a family.
Edited by Pehchaan.Kaun - 8 years ago
