At what age is a MS & Sindoor sacred?

Anyone here seen Dangal? I highly recommend it! Amazing movie.

There was one instance which made me think of the show. The two girls, Geeta & Babita are complaining to their fellow 14 year old friend who is due to get married. Both Geeta & Babita say no-one should get a father like theirs because he makes them get up early to train for wrestling, restricts their diet and cuts their hair off (which was very sad actually). Then this 14 year old at her own mehndi tells the two girls that at least your father is thinking about about you and your future. Otherwise girls in Haryana are married off to a complete stranger whom they haven't even ever seen. She had a very empty and blank face in her own mehndi.

Of course there's a big difference between a 14 and 20-21 year old. Theoretically speaking there's a sense of free will as you grow older, you feel like you have a choice. Having said that, I have a distant cousin in India who ran away at 15 to be with her lover. I hear these kind of 'running away' stories all the time. But of course in smaller villages you have the fear of being killed so you go ahead and marry...could you call that selfish? You don't want to die so you'll ruin another persons life? In the show, Vividha had the fear of Atharv getting killed so she married a stranger - selfish?

It's just that emptiness on that child's face in her own mehndi which got to me. She's going to have a mangalsutra and sindoor too, what's so sacred about those? There's no absolute rule that these two things make a marriage sacred. Girls young as 10 get married and have to go through these rituals - do the MS & Sindoor become sacred after they turn 18? How is a girl who isn't even a teenager meant to respect the so-called 'importance' of marriage?

What I'm trying to say is...for that 14 year old girl in Dangal, marriage was going to crush her dreams, her desires, her wishes. That black beaded thread and red powder will restrict her forever! That's the sacredness everyone goes on about? If that isn't sacred, then why does it become sacred for a 20 year old who has been forced to marry?

Also, who wants a bet that this 14 year old doesn't even bother explaining her side of the story to her in-laws & husband? They're strangers!



And that's why I can't respect this institution as a whole and it's far from SACRED! Let's not forget our culture has a blessing 'Sadaa Suhaagan Raho' ...meaning...may the wife die before the husband

:)

What a post Reemz.. Take a bow pls 👏👏

Acceptance comes with maturity.

Originally posted by: cool_kriti

<font color="#0000ff">What a post Reemz.. Take a bow pls👏👏</font>

<font color="#0000ff">Before i even start, your last paragragh literally made me stare. Never did I think this way abt 'Sada Suhagan Raho'.. OMG.. You r so right !!😲Damn I am never gonna like this blessing if they ever show in TV post today..</font>

<font color="#0000ff">I have nt watched Dangal but whatever u r saying is so much true !! This kind of child marriages still happen and whats worst is the girls are made to sacrifice their dreams and aspirations and respect and follow the society created 'MS and Sindoor sacredness'.</font>

<font color="#0000ff">I'm not against arranged marriages or the institution of marriage. But forced marriages are definitely nt acceptable. And from eons girls are always treated as second class citizens. A girl has to value MS and Sindoor even at the cost of sacrificing her love, dreams, aspirations, life. Girls are only born to do this? Worshipping marriage while guys are free to carry on life the way they wish to? Why does ppl even forget that Girls also hv a single life to achieve and be what they wanna be?</font>

<font color="#0000ff">For me marriage should happen between 2 people who love each other and want to grow in life together. It should be ritual that intensifies and increases love and not something that chains up a girl from being what she wanna be.</font>

<font color="#0000ff">Its such a derogatory thinking when people value MS and Sindoor more than a girl's happiness and expects the girl to value and follow the rituals even at the cost of self - destruction.MS and Sindoor are just things. A girl's happiness is everything.</font>

Lol Kriti, that's very sweet of you 🤗

I only truly fathomed the meaning of that blessing when someone asked for a translation and I was like oh shit! That's actually saying the wife should always die before the husband, isn't that sweet?

Apparently monogamy is quite recent too in terms of the history of marriage. The rules of marriage change with generations so how can anyone put an absolute stamp on anything? How are these ever changing customs superior to what the heart desires?

If a girl agrees to a forced marriage in the fear she may be killed...Vividha married a stranger to save Atharv's life. So surely this makes every girl who is forced in to marry a SELFISH CHEAP woman because they're marrying and ruining a whole family's life to save their own life?

Originally posted by: sweetygirl28

Acceptance comes with maturity.

Earlier girls can be married off legally at 18 now it's 21 y. Coz ppl realize that's too early for a girl to take responsibility.

In a marriage both husband and wife are equal partners. They should be able to voice their opinions freely without the fear of being belittled.

One can only learn with experience. Same applies here. As u grow old u realise that the bond with ur life partner is more important than any material things. Happiness is important . Else what's the use of just getting married and produce babies?

I strongly object the way tele soaps are showing all the nonsense .the andh vishwas the crap. Today's generation kids learn from media. It's a strong medium of telecommunication so one should be responsible in showing content.

When vividha said she accepted atharv as her husband in her soul without any rituals that was the moment I really felt this show should be given a chance. I had believed that slowly but surely the Indian TV is changing.

You know I'm waiting for Atharva Sujata to come back and give everyone in the show a huge lecture on samaaj and it's man-made customs! I think that's why they haven't shown a divorce yet because Atharv needs to see what Viv went through and then he will no doubt raise his voice!

Originally posted by: *Reemz*

Lol Kriti, that's very sweet of you 🤗

I only truly fathomed the meaning of that blessing when someone asked for a translation and I was like oh shit! That's actually saying the wife should always die before the husband, isn't that sweet?

Apparently monogamy is quite recent too in terms of the history of marriage. The rules of marriage change with generations so how can anyone put an absolute stamp on anything? How are these ever changing customs superior to what the heart desires?

If a girl agrees to a forced marriage in the fear she may be killed...Vividha married a stranger to save Atharv's life. So surely this makes every girl who is forced in to marry a SELFISH CHEAP woman because they're marrying and ruining a whole family's life to save their own life?

Originally posted by: *Reemz*

You know I'm waiting for Atharva Sujata to come back and give everyone in the show a huge lecture on samaaj and it's man-made customs! I think that's why they haven't shown a divorce yet because Atharv needs to see what Viv went through and then he will no doubt raise his voice!

OMG Reemz that line actually hit me hard ... I am so glad I never bow down to any of my inlaws and infact at my home tooo ...Its not so much in our tradition that girls should do peripauna at all times

Originally posted by: cool_kriti

<font color="#0000ff">If a guy loves another girl post marriage and has 2 wives, people are okay with it and it isn't an insult to marriage institution but if a girl loves another guy she wud be called s**t . This is d thinking.</font>

<font color="#0000ff">and like @Orchid said in one of her posts, TV is a powerful medium and can influence minds. Why cant people stop showing backward thinking and promote to stand for a girl's happiness instead of standing for MS and sindoor?</font>

It's like what they showed in PINK (Must watch movie too!) - a guy looks fine drinking but as soon as a girl drinks, her character comes in to question.

I really think people need to educate themselves and make their minds more aware of these sexist 'traditions' and thought processes.

This is for you 👏
What a beautiful post Reemz. You definitely deserve a big round of applause to put this question out here.

Why is a black bead thread tied by a man around a woman's neck given such a high regard. Why a red powder put in a woman's partition by a man's hand is considered so sacred. Why does a man made thing like sindoor and mangalsutra have more value than what God make, girls, women, female. How is it that a thing made by man has the power to take away, the free will, the opinions, the out look of a living woman, who has her own mind and heart, given to her by the creator who made us all.

No women, for that matter no human, be it a child, teenager or adult, should be compelled to enter marriage against their wishes, such a marriage is forced. For all those who think Vividha was not forced to marry, she was blackmailed with Atharav's life to give her consent and blackmail is a form of force, which is more mental or physical.

To me Ravidha's wedding is as illegal as a child marriage where the girl at times know what they are getting into but have no say in it because it is the parampara of they village the come from or because their parents have given a word to the groom's family and the child thinks if she backs out know the parents will be put to shame.