At what age is a MS & Sindoor sacred? - Page 2

Originally posted by: Shweta13

OMG Reemz that line actually hit me hard ... I am so glad I never bow down to any of my inlaws and infact at my home tooo ...Its not so much in our tradition that girls should do peripauna at all times

And I am glad n so happy.. though at .00001 % of snails pace this word has started to change. Now a days girls who have access to education and internet as well aa to western media .. they are more vocal about their wishes and desires. They not only see indian shows but others too so definitely know the difference.

Boons of Media in one way though improving peoples mind to give women more power and think about their empowerment. I really dont think I ever heard of such things 20 years back though existed but not so much awareness.

Well I hope our show creates a mile stone especially being on SP, they truely have a chance to portray #NayiSoch.

It does hit you hard right? I even mentioned it to my parents and they laughed because the meaning behind it never really hit them.

We don't bow down for blessings, I never do even for a 'God-man', I'll only bow to God and I wouldn't mind doing so to my parents either.

No doubt things are progressing in India, women are more vocal about what they want to do, they're putting themselves first. It's gradual but I'm sure eventually equality will be more prominent. SP has had so many forced marriages recently, it doesn't support their Nayi Soch campaign :(

Originally posted by: janvi0513

This is for you 👏
What a beautiful post Reemz. You definitely deserve a big round of applause to put this question out here.

Why is a black bead thread tied by a man around a woman's neck given such a high regard. Why a red powder put in a woman's partition by a man's hand is considered so sacred. Why does a man made thing like sindoor and mangalsutra have more value than what God make, girls, women, female. How is it that a thing made by man has the power to take away, the free will, the opinions, the out look of a living woman, who has her own mind and heart, given to her by the creator who made us all.

No women, for that matter no human, be it a child, teenager or adult, should be compelled to enter marriage against their wishes, such a marriage is forced. For all those who think Vividha was not forced to marry, she was blackmailed with Atharav's life to give her consent and blackmail is a form of force, which is more mental or physical.

To me Ravidha's wedding is as illegal as a child marriage where the girl at times know what they are getting into but have no say in it because it is the parampara of they village the come from or because their parents have given a word to the groom's family and the child thinks if she backs out know the parents will be put to shame.

Thank you so much Janvi :)

Your point also reminds me...why do men not wear a mangalsutra or sindoor? Where's the evidence on their bodies to show to society that they're married? Both man & woman wear rings but the woman has extra ornaments. Why exactly?

Your last paragraph especially! Vividha is selfish for saving her boyfriends LIFE right? Then from that perspective, all girls/women forced in to marriage are being SELFISH because they are too scared of possibly being abused or killed. Why don't they run away? Why is it not that easy? In JNDSD, Vividha did it to save another persons life instead of her own...or they're both the same? So how does she become more selfish?

What you say holds absolutely true in real world.Neither me nor 3 generations of ladies in my family wear MS or Sindoor in daily life.But you know why people here give so much importance to MS and Sindoor because in reel world it has been given considerable significance( right or wrong is a different debate). It is something like the soul connection. Neither me nor any person I know have ever experienced it , but it is considered something sacred why because it has been depicted as such in reel life. As to the term 'sada suhaagan raho', it is a blessing which is carried forward from the olden generation when the life of a widow was actually a hardship,( when shaving your head, wearing only white and many other rituals were supposed to be followed by the widows) and dying before the husband was actually a blessing. I know it doesn't hold much significance now but it is something that is just carried forward by generations without thinking much about it.

I saw Dangal Reemz. Brilliant movie. I remember thinking as I was watching, what a selfish father Aamir Khan was for making his young daughters train to complete his dream. And then I saw that wedding scene with the young girl and it hit me in the gut!

Originally posted by: *Reemz*

Thank you so much Janvi :)

Your point also reminds me...why do men not wear a mangalsutra or sindoor? Where's the evidence on their bodies to show to society that they're married? Both man & woman wear rings but the woman has extra ornaments. Why exactly?

Your last paragraph especially! Vividha is selfish for saving her boyfriends LIFE right? Then from that perspective, all girls/women forced in to marriage are being SELFISH because they are too scared of possibly being abused or killed. Why don't they run away? Why is it not that easy? In JNDSD, Vividha did it to save another persons life instead of her own...or they're both the same? So how does she become more selfish?

I can't answer your these question Reemz, because they can only be answered by the people who called Vividha selfish. How is it that rules change all of a sudden from one person to another, how is it that when we hear about forced marriages our heart goes out to individual who was forced into the marriage, but now when Vividha is the forced individual, we shouldn't feel her pain, her inner suffering which a woman goes through when she enters a forced relation shouldn't be considered, why? Because her husband is good hearted and loves her. Love doesn't come from the person being good, love doesn't come because you are married to a person, love cannot be forced, love is reasonless and just because you are unable to love a person, who loves you, who is kind and caring that doesn't make you selfish.

Reema, this is such a thoughtful post and your last line shook me. I never thought of it like that, but it completely makes sense now and what a pity. No offence to anyone, but in a country where Goddesses are worshipped and then WOMEN are treated like crap, it gives of the impression that girls are just meant to be devoted to their husbands and fulfill all their duties as the 'perfect' bahu and wife. It's sad, really sad.

That Dangal scene is a perfect example of the situation in JNDSD. That girl in dangal was devastated and if she had dared to say no, she most probably would have been tortured into the marriage anyway or ... yeah killed! So like you said she is putting her OWN life over some stranger's life, whereas Vividha saved someone else's life. I mean death over a heartbreak? I'd always choose the latter, call if selfish if you want now!

I'm quite religious, so yes the institution of marriage does hold importance for me personally and I regard it as sacred, BUT only as long as it is done with the CONSENT of both parties. It's the kind of relationship that can be most beautiful if both parties love each other, acknowledge each other's rights and feelings, however it can also be the ugliest when it's forced upon people and the wife is reduced to merely an object that's meant to worship the ground her husband walks on.

I can't say about others, but I'm glad my religion gives me a CHOICE to walk out of a forced marriage if I wish to.

Originally posted by: ShivSaan

What you say holds absolutely true in real world.Neither me nor 3 generations of ladies in my family wear MS or Sindoor in daily life.But you know why people here give so much importance to MS and Sindoor because in reel world it has been given considerable significance( right or wrong is a different debate). It is something like the soul connection. Neither me nor any person I know have ever experienced it , but it is considered something sacred why because it has been depicted as such in reel life. As to the term 'sada suhaagan raho', it is a blessing which is carried forward from the olden generation when the life of a widow was actually a hardship,( when shaving your head, wearing only white and many other rituals were supposed to be followed by the widows) and dying before the husband was actually a blessing. I know it doesn't hold much significance now but it is something that is just carried forward by generations without thinking much about it.

Originally posted by: ShivSaan

What you say holds absolutely true in real world.Neither me nor 3 generations of ladies in my family wear MS or Sindoor in daily life.But you know why people here give so much importance to MS and Sindoor because in reel world it has been given considerable significance( right or wrong is a different debate). It is something like the soul connection. Neither me nor any person I know have ever experienced it , but it is considered something sacred why because it has been depicted as such in reel life. As to the term 'sada suhaagan raho', it is a blessing which is carried forward from the olden generation when the life of a widow was actually a hardship,( when shaving your head, wearing only white and many other rituals were supposed to be followed by the widows) and dying before the husband was actually a blessing. I know it doesn't hold much significance now but it is something that is just carried forward by generations without thinking much about it.

It's 100% due to reel tv serials! Probably should give credit/blame to Ekta really because pre-K Phase there was a lot of REALITY shown in tv shows. But as viewers, we tend to love the ideal woman, the one who supports their marriage, shows the strength of their mangalsutra and sindoor. But in reality, whether you wear them or not, your love towards your husband is in your heart not in those black beads or red powder right?

Ahhh I see, makes sense. It's just a blessing still used in our shows. I doubt it's used much in real either anymore.

That whole 'depiction' has made people think that forced marriages are ok to be romanticised because in real life it probably does the opposite. You have to live with that your entire life! Your wishes weren't respected, you married a stranger and now this is your life! No-one gives a shit about you want!

Originally posted by: whispa

I saw Dangal Reemz. Brilliant movie. I remember thinking as I was watching, what a selfish father Aamir Khan was for making his young daughters train to complete his dream. And then I saw that wedding scene with the young girl and it hit me in the gut!

The unhappiness on her face, the acceptance of everything, because she just didn't have a choice. Her parents wanted to get rid of her and marry her off as quick as they could to anyone. It was such a sad scene. And that was it for her. Her life tied forever to a man she didn't know and a family for whom she would have to be the ideal bahu.

And if people want to call Vividha selfish, then so be it. She 'married' a man to save the man she loves. But for her, this marriage is meaningless. Didn't she always say that the sindoor and mangal sutra were just symbols. There was a reason that was said then.

But like the 14 year old in Dangal, Vividha felt she had no choice. The mangal sutra and sindoor here are merely symbols for society to show that she is married. Rather like wearing a wedding ring. There is nothing sacred about anything forced.

I didn't agree with everything Aamir did either especially cutting the hair man :( I don't think that was needed. But on a larger scale, he did what he did so his daughters have a future for themselves. I cried in the forced marriage scene because it just made me think of all those girls who accept the life thrown at them. It's not fair!

Everyone has a choice, even when they think they don't...but each choice has a repurcussion! Which one are you willing to risk?

Originally posted by: janvi0513

I can't answer your these question Reemz, because they can only be answered by the people who called Vividha selfish. How is it that rules change all of a sudden from one person to another, how is it that when we hear about forced marriages our heart goes out to individual who was forced into the marriage, but now when Vividha is the forced individual, we shouldn't feel her pain, her inner suffering which a woman goes through when she enters a forced relation shouldn't be considered, why? Because her husband is good hearted and loves her. Love doesn't come from the person being good, love doesn't come because you are married to a person, love cannot be forced, love is reasonless and just because you are unable to love a person, who loves you, who is kind and caring that doesn't make you selfish.

Those millions of girls who get forced in to marriage, I'm sure at least SOME of them have good husbands and in-laws but then are you telling me that go ahead and forcibly marry any girl because there's a 5% chance (whatever the stats maybe) that her husband may be a good man.

So what? Point is that the girl was FORCED! And you are telling me it's FINE because her husband is a good man so adjust karlo!