Distorted Lives..... FOUW...Link to Thread 2 Updtd - Page 84

"Hello Geet, It's me Dev."

"Hi... Dev. It's late."

"Yeah I know. I am sorry. I called you up for a reason."

"What couldn't have waited till tomorrow morning Dev?"

"I am sorry. Stop being so cranky and let me finish..."

"Cranky? I guess you forgot the rules Dev Malhotra. Here's how things are supposed to happen. You treat me like you treat any other woman you barely know, with respect and following the norms of society. You don't get to call me in the middle of the night and tell me that I am being cranky."

"Is this how it is going to be from now Geet? We act like strangers?"

"It was your choice Dev. Deal with it."

"And you can be so rude to a mere acquaintance huh Geet? "

"Huh!"

"You can't create rules you yourself don't follow through Geet. Stop pretending to be so high and mighty. I know it was wrong to cheat on you but did you ever let me have a chance to explain? Did you let Meer explain you things? You witnessed a thing and made a decision for us, all three of us. Didn't I deserve a chance to explain my stance in everything?"

"So after being cheated for God knows how long I was supposed to give you a chance. It was wrong to react like that after finding my husband of ten years f**king my best friend on our bed, is that what you want to say? What would you have done had it been me who was cheating?"

"You did in case you have forgotten."

"Only after you did it first."

"I agree. But just because I did it first does it make it less wrong for you to do it too? Is loyalty conditional? If you are loyal only then I will be loyal thing?"

"My case was different Dev. Don't you dare compare it with your fling?"

"So me being in relationship with Meera is suddenly worse than your one night stand?"

"It sounds great when you put it that way but is this that simple? I was a loyal wife. I loved you, and as much as I am ashamed to admit I guess I still do. You murdered that loyal wife in me. Everything I did that night, everything I did after that night, somehow you are the reason. You destroyed me and memories of two most important relationships in my life. Don't you dare compare my act with yours."

"Geet, let's calm down. There is certainly lot of issues between us and I guess we should confront them rather than burying them. Avoiding a problem and solving it are two very different things."

"Why bother?"

"Geet, we are muskaan's parents. No matter what we do and what number of issues we had between us, we have to do what is best for muskaan and we have to take decisions together. Muskaan is never going to have what we can call normal childhood but we can try to bring as much semblance to normality as possible, can't we?"

"Yeah."

"And we cannot co-exist even for a short time if we hate each other's presence. We need to talk Geet."

"Fine, when?"

"Tomorrow. That's what I called to tell you in the first place. I am taking a late night flight so will be there tomorrow. I will call you and you can come to...to our house if it's okay with you. I thought that would be private."

"Okay. But this is the last time I am setting foot in your house. And I am not going to bring Muskaan. I have a feeling things are going to be lot ugly before everything is going to be okay and I don't think Muskaan should be there to witness it."

"But who are you leaving Muskaan with? I thought you took her out from hostel with you today."

Geet was in dilemma about telling him about Maan. But she couldn't understand the reason for it. It's not like she has some secret relationship going on with Maan and even if she had then Dev couldn't be the one to question it. So why does she feel like she needs to hide. Realizing that Dev was waiting, Geet answered.

"Well, there's this friend of Brij veerji here. Veerji was supposed to come with me but was detained at the last moment and I met his friend at NJP station and knowing I was alone he helped me out. We came together here and muskaan is already quite aquainted with him."

"Oh, who is he?"

"His name is Maan. I think Maan won't mind babysitting Muskaan tomorrow."

"I trust your judgement Geet. I just want one thing from you Geet?"

"I don't think you are in a position to ask favors from me Dev."

"Please."

"Tell me what you want I will decide if I can agree."

"Try having an open mind tomorrow. We don't want to fight and nothing is going to change. We would still be divorced. But if we resolve things to an extent we can make the transition easier for Muskaan. I love my daughter Geet and as impossible as it might sound I really want you to have a happy life."

"You are right. It's impossible to believe."

"I understand if you can't."

"I will try Dev to keep my mind open. But the truth is that you hurt me. Loneliness used to be my worst nightmare but now it is you."

They didn't talk anymore over phone. A quick goodbye and the line was cut yet the words exchanged haunted Geet enough to keep her awake the whole night.

*****

Maan observed Geet. She was agitated and looked tired. He wondered if the conversations they had was what kept her awake. He couldn't help but broach the topic.

"Geet are you okay?"

Geet looked up from her plate. A second, she thought to brush it away with a typical I am fine' answer but rejected the idea. She had always been an honest sort of person and she just couldn't lie outright.

"A certain conversation kept me awake."

"Was it the one we had?"

Maan looked almost afraid of the answer to that question.

"No. Dev called last night."

"Oh?"

Maan could not decide if he should ask Geet to elaborate. No matter how intimate they had been physically they really weren't that close for him to pry.

Aparently Geet decided she wanted to share with him.

"We both had a kind of fight and realized we had too many unresolved issues between us. And since Muskaan is there and we need to regularly interact for Muskaan we need to resolve those issues. He is coming or might have already reached here by now. We are meeting today afternoon I guess. Would it be possible for you to babysit Muskaan?"

"I would love to spend some time with Muskaan."

"Thanks Maan. You have no idea how much I appreciate it."

"The pleasure is all mine. And I think it is great that you and Dev are trying to resolve your issues."

"I don't know if it is worth all the pain to revisit."

"At least you can be free. In order to heal you need to accept all that has happened to you Geet. I am still in the process but my and Sam's marriage was way different than yours. "

"I guess you are right. You are okay right, looking after Muskaan? I feel like I am taking way more advantage of your kindness than I should."

"Geet, it's okay. Being with Muskaan is a healing experience for me as well. I think it's high time all of us should start healing. I, Sam, You, Dev and, I am sure even Meera...all of us are broken people...some due to our own actions, some due to the actions of others. But we can't deny that all of us are broken and are mere shadow of people we used to be. And we can't rebuild the present until we accept the past."

"You are great motivator. I hope you know that."

The slight amusement in her voice was a great improvement over her depressed face of the morning.

"It's my job to motivate people...mostly to work for me but you get the idea..."

Geet smiled genuinely and her entire face lightened up making her look way more beautiful. Maan liked this Geet who can smile. Maybe somewhere beneath that shadow of Geet the real Geet is peeping.

"I am going to wake up Muskaan. Why don't you order breakfast for us in your room? All three of us can have it together."

"Sure. Toast and eggs Fine for you?"

"Yeah. Don't order egg for Muskaan. Just two slices of buttered toast. She can share some egg with me. I don't want to give a full plate. She would waste it."

"Okay."

Geet left the room to prepare Muskaan for the day.

******

Geet waited in front of the bunglow which once used to be her home. She knew that Dev was inside but somehow she could not gather the courage to ring the door bell. It was so easy walking away but confronting the past was way more difficult than she had anticipated.

Steeling her heart Geet thought to herself,"This one's for muskaan."

A deep sound asked her to wait. Geet could hear her heart beating fast. As the door opened Geet tried regaining her compsure.

"Hi Dev."

"Really Geet, are we back at hi and hellos?"

Smiling Dev gathered Geet up and hugged her just like he used to back before everything was complicated.

Geet couldn't help but smile. This was just so dev' thing to do, helping lessen the awkward silences.

"Okay, maybe hi wasn't exactly a great conversation starter but I tried."

"Not a great try is it?"

Geet slapped him on his arms like she used to as both of them started laughing. For a minute everything seemed perfect.

"I don't know about you Geet but I need a little something to keep me awake for this conversation. So, wanna a cup of coffee?"

"I think we need something little bit stronger than coffee. Muskaan isn't here. What say?"

"Beer it is. Fine with you? cause I don't have anything else here."

"Will do."

Dev went inside kitchen to get the beer bottles. Geet looked around. The house was exactly the same as how she left it. A deep ache built in her chest. Will this ache ever stop? Will she ever be whole again?

Dev got a plate of sandwich and two bottles of beer. When Geet looked at him questioningly he smiled.

"You know I hate flight foods. I am way more hungry and drinking empty stomach is not a good idea. I made you one as well..."

Geet was about to say something when he smiled and continued," Without tomatoes and with lettuce. I still remember."

Geet took a sip of her beer and asked the question haunting her.

"Why did you do it Dev?"

"There is not straight forward answer to the question Geet. "

"You wanted us to discuss and kind of make peace with past. I need to know your reasons to understand you...same goes for you as well. We have to do this Dev; If not for us then for Muskaan."

"I need you to promise me something Geet. You would listen to everything I have to say."

"I don't know dev but I would try my best."

"Fair enough. I loved you Geet and I think a part of me still does. When I had to leave Mumbai ten years ago I was scared. I don't think I ever told you but I didn't think I could have done the long distance thing. I wanted you with me; I wanted to start my life with you. You are a special girl, one heck of a woman and I was always this insecured prat who knew he wasn't good enough for you. I knew both Brij veerji and Yash thought the same even if they agreed with our marriage. I think my greatest fear was that someday you will realize that you are too good for me and leave me."

"I don't get it Dev, if you thought such things why did you even cheat? Why didn't you tell me anything before?"

"I am coming to that Geet, please have patience."

"Hmm, continue."

"I loved first five yeas of our marriage. We weren't financially secured. You were still a student initially but the love between us was blissful. It was like something out of a storybook. I dreamt of us being fifty and still being in love with you. I am ashamed but here is the thing. In every dream of mine you were pathetically dependent on me emotionally and financially. I loved this weak version of you. But you are anything but weak Geet. You had learnt at a young age not to be weak. And I wasn't strong enough to appreciate your strength. I am ashamed of myself to say this out loud but I didn't want a strong, independent woman to be my wife, I needed someone who can depend on me and make me feel strong."

There was a pregnant pause and Geet took a long sip and gestured Dev to continue.

"Yash passed away and I was as griefed of losing him as you were if not more. He was a dear friend of mine and I hated watching Pari wither away. I understood your need to stay with Pari, I honestly did. But as I began staying alone my fears of losing you started gripping me even more."

"Why didn't you tell me anything Dev? We could have done something about it had you discussed. I could have coerced Pari to come and stay in Darjeeling or would have found something alternate."

"I don't know. Maybe I would have had it been not for meera."

"So it all started that time?"

The venom in Geet's voice startled Dev as he shook his head.

"No Geet, it was not. Not then at least. Meera was like a fresh breeze for me, helping with my sanity. We would joke and talk and it was fun. Meera never made me feel that I am not good enough."

"You mean to say that I made you feel inadequate Dev? I lived for you. You were everything I wanted in life."

"I didn't mean that Geet. It's me not you."

"Yeah use the most clich breakup lines of the world."

"Believe it or not, it is the truth. You...you are amazing Geet and I knew even back then I don't deserve you. Anyway, Meer honestly tried to help us out but I guess I was slolwly falling for her. And then you came back. Trust me even in my heart if I had fallen for meera I didn't really cheat you physically. I tried, I honestly I did. Next three years I tried hard even if you did visit Mumbai frequently. But slowly an empty space was getting created in my heart, I was getting used to your absence Geet. Our fights were changed from lovers tiff to serious quarrels and they were getting nastier. Muskaan was getting negatively with all this. I think I had started to realize that our marriage would not last. And then one evening I lost an important deal. You weren't supposed to be back from Mumbai until day after. I started drinking and that was how Meera found me. We both had downed few pegs and were tipsy. We were talking about our schooldays when I found out that Meera had always had loved me. I don't know how it happened Geet I swear. I never wanted to do that to you but we both had enough alcohol in our system to lose our senses. I realized that somewhere I had fallen for her. One minute we were staring each other and the next we were kissing. One thing led to another and we... well you know. We both decided that you should not find this out ever. I decided that I will ask you for divorce while Meera was too ashamed to even meet your eyes. But we could not deny our feelings for each other any longer. Unfortunately though you had already witnessed us together and you thought that I was cheating on you way longer than I actually did. Trust me Geet, I tried staying loyal to you, I tried very hard not to fall for Meera but it was inevitable. I tried explaining all this to you but you never gave me the opportunity. And finally I stopped explaining. But now that Muskaan's future depends on how well we get along I decided to give it a shot. I won't claim to be innocent Geet. I am not. I did wrong you but it wasn't my intention and I regret hurting you. "

When Dev looked up he saw Geet with red rimmed eyes. The absolute vulnerability in her eyes made him pull her into a hug as Geet broke down into a heartwrenching sob.

Once she was a bit sober she pulled out of the hug.

"You know Dev, what you told me is worse than what I thought was the truth. You make me feel like my entire life was a lie. You didn't love me Dev. Because even if I am not sure what love entails anymore I am damn sure that love cannot be this damaging. You are pathetic."

"I am weak Geet and I accept it."

"Don't do this with Meera as well. Just don't. Even if I am never going to talk to Meera ever again I don't want anything bad to happen to her. So stop being a selfish bas***d and love her with strength."

"You know I gave it a lot of thought while we were out of touch. At first I thought that maybe it was all because I screwed up but that's not true."

"What do you mean?"

"We are wrong for each other Geet. We just don't work together. You needed someone who could love like you do; fiercely. I don't think I am cut out for that kind of love. I am a selfish man Geet, I always was. "

"So why stretch it for ten years? Why not end it long ago and spare us both the pain?"

"I loved you Geet. In my own flawed way but I did love you. I tried to be the man you deserved, you needed. But I couldn't because that's not me."

"Did it ever occur to you dev that you were all I needed?"

"You are wrong and someday you would realize this as well."

The silence stretched as they sipped their beers. She contemplated what Dev said. Maybe he was right. Geet remembered Pari saying essentially the same thing. She sighed.

"You know Geet, maybe if we hadn't married in haste we could have avoided all this mess."

"We wouldn't have had Muskaan and that is something I won't give up for anything is this world."

"Me too."

They paused for a minute before Dev asked;

"You want to tell me about your one night stand?"

"What do you want to know?"

"You are not the type to have one night stands Geet. I want to understand if you share."

"I guess I owe you the truth. As you pointed out last night, I was still married to you that night. "

"You don't have to Geet. Share only if you want to."

"I didn't plan on having a one night stand. I was broken and wanted badly to forget what I had witnessed. I knew my marriage was essentially over yet I didn't accept the fact. I was at the pub nursing a wine when I met him. He asked permission to sit with me as everywhere else was full. We talked about random things a bit and before I knew I was telling him everything and soon he as well was talking about his life. We both were in pain and bit irrational. One thing led to another and as you know, I left his place in the morning and met you."

Geet knew she glossed over the night. That night had meant much more than just a one night stand and they had an emotional connection. But Dev didn't need to know all that. He didn't deserve all those information.

"hmm. I have a feeling you are hiding a lot of things but I won't pry."

"When are we going to tell muskaan?"

"What was your plan Geet?"

"Some time today. But I guess I am done with emotionally draining topics for the day. I will leave day after tomorrow. How about we do this tomorrow over lunch?"

"Sounds good."

"Goodbye Dev."

"Wait, I will drop you back."

They drove the way almost wordlessly. Once they were almost near the entrance they witnessed Muskaan playing with Maan and the duo were smiling. The scene tugged Geet's heartstrings as she watched them both. Suddenly Dev's question brought her focus back.

"Geet...this man, he is the one right?"

"He is the one what?"

"Maan is the one you slept with right?"

Geet thought for a moment and nodded in affirmation.

"How did you guess Dev?"

"The way you were looking at them, it was private and intimate somehow. I don't know an instinct maybe."

"He is a good man."

They didn't talk anymore but the meaning was clear of their unspoken statement.