IshRa TS: I see you, I see you not. (Final Pt 3 - Pg 10 - 10/05)

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: -Atii-
NIDS
OMG.

LOVED. IT.

UPDATE SOON.

bYE.

❤️

Atii 🤗

You missed the F in OMG 😉 😃 Updating now 😃

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: -Anku-
Nids 🤗 I LOVE YOU so so much for this ...even otherwise..but this was such a surprise. Didn't see it coming. I was so happy when you said you were posting and it's so worth it.

I like how you've dealt with this. You directly plunge into the feelings and situation at hand here, wasting no time to let us know the man's feelings whose in a mess from within and nothing less of a corpse on the outside. The words are hard hitting, making you feel the emotions Raman is undergoing. The best part is, you don't let your opinion here come into the way of the narrative and it leaves it to us to form an opinion. Which is amazing...I have that to learn from you when I write.

The best moment that you penned was the build up to Raman realizing Ishita's presence... it wasn't dramatic...It was going to happen we knew but the way you write send a thrill down the spine and when he finally sees her, the battle, the argument or the jumping match between Raman's warring mind was a master stroke. There's no explanation, there's no detail of his emotion, there's no reaction expressed in your first shot, but the argument he has with himself says it all... GENIUS is not the word for this.

I love how you write Nids, I've always admired the depth with which you perceive characters and stories and to be able to pen them detailed at the same time in cases where its more summarized but still manages to say all the same ...you do it both so perfectly.

I can't wait for the next one already 🤗 UPDATE FAST

Anku meri jaan 🤗 I love you too 😳 ❤️ 🤗 This was a surprise even for me 😆

@purple - I don't know why but I still do relate to the man I fell in love with during YHM 1.0 And to me, compared to the amount of pain he's in now, he wasn't hurt even one bit then. Yes he acts like a monster, yes he drove the love of his life away, yes he keeps his family at bay, but that's because he has nothing to feel inside, or he's scared of feeling ever again. He's not a devil deep down inside, he doesn't really hate his family, but this charade of his helps him keep sane, and that's why he's warring with himself at each point in time, because relationships do not break that easy, however much it might look at the outset.

@green - From how I understand IshRa is that they're not just in love, they're soul mates. Their connection has the depth even they themselves are not aware of. It is not physical, it is not emotional, it is soulful. They speak to each other at a level where only they can. I wanted that feeling to come across naturally, and not OTT dramatically as is in the shows 😆 I'm glad you could perceive that 😃

@pink - ☺️ ☺️ Primary reason was not to form an opinion. It was to get into his mind and figure out what exactly must he be going through, hence the war between his own thoughts.

@orange - You know it means a lot coming from you 🤗 But I better not start our mutual admiration club here 😆 I'm landing on the TS and UnRESing there 😉

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#33

Part 2 on the next page.

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#34

Part 2 - I just saw you, and I can't stop.

Continuing from where we left earlier, the scene remains the same. There's still the warring mind and heart, and very little IshRa talk, in a uniquely convoluted way.

This part did not take much time to be written, just needed to finalise the flow here and there, and the theme of the next shot is ready too. Hopefully will update and end this TS soon 😊

600+ words (shorter for my liking, but seemed sufficient enough). Proofread.

Monologues and self-talks are colored.

Edited by -Nidoo- - 9 years ago

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#35

THIS IS A "MEMBERS ONLY" POST
The Author of this post have chosen to restrict the content of this Post to members only.

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-Anku-

@-Anku-

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#36

Everyone's hating on you apparently. BUT I LOVE YOU 🤗 For many reasons, but for now just the fact that you updated this so quickly 😆

The first one was started as Raman's voice and here you started with Ishita's. Ishita's heart or mind or brain is like a maze. You dive in thinking it would puzzle you, but you would probably find a way out and only keep getting lost deeper. And even for a character like that, you've taken a few lines, little words to put forth what she's undergoing. Her battle with herself to not look at him, then look at him and avoid, and then finally trying to decipher the state of his heart through his eyes teared me up. I could almost imagine them standing across each other, stuck in time and in an intense eye lock...feeling their world fall apart and come together when they do meet like how you described.

What amazes me about your writing here is...like I even said before. That you've not made them talk, you haven't even delved much into their thoughts but in a few lines and words said so much more even none of their confrontations would specify.

And the last two lines, especially the last, BROKE MY HEART 😭 Hit just where it had to.

I love the undercurrent of sarcasm, anger and resentment that I get from Ishita. She maybe guilty but I am hoping she isn't forgiving.

Edited by -Anku- - 9 years ago

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-Atii-

@-Atii-

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#37

I told you already.

I hate you. Leave my life. I love this.

LAST LINE. UFFF. 😲 Damn woman!!

Updated SOOON. ❤️

Edited by -Atii- - 9 years ago

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Neetz

@Neetz

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#38

For the record , I don't like you..This was 😭😭'"

Unres

Nidz, this is super super amazing. I love this writing style of yours. Something new and fresh.

In Part 1, my fav has to be the lead up to Raman realizing that the reason his heart was so restless was because Ishita was there..the way you have penned that down was so thrilling and the argument he has with himself was the cherry on the cake..

As for Part 2, i am sure many have told you already what hit the most.. the last 2 lines.. they hit where they had to.. it was more like a dagger to the heart (mission accomplished, eh?)

I liked that you have not gone into detail in explaining either Raman or Ishita but the words are such that one feels what they are going through. You have made them talk/express through their eyes and that sent a shiver down my spine.. i believe both of them have the most expressive eyes, the windows to their very soul..(or is it that I am imagining DivAn here..😲..argh, screw them).

And like Anku said

Originally posted by: -Anku-
I could almost imagine them standing across each other, stuck in time and in an intense eye lock...feeling their world fall apart and come together when they do meet like how you described.

i could seriously learn this from you. i go into such detail explaining my characters but you managed to do that with so much clarity in few words. You have encapsulated their feelings, turmoil, varied emotions in less wards and that i think is an achievement in itself cz these two happen to be so difficult to decipher at times that I for one feel like pulling my hair out. You straight went into the crux if the situation with their arguments and talks with themselves and that was enough. No elaboration needed.

Nidzzz, i love you girl..🤗 This was fantastic👏

Edited by Neetz - 9 years ago