You're in my veins. Part 1b page 2

Zoyamalik2005 thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Part 1 ( the shortest part I hope)
( Let me know if this is terrible and I should stick just to analysis writing,otherwise this will be 3/4 parts 😆)


A multi coloured dupatta was flung from above, and landed on his head. Raman Kumar Bhalla was not amused.
'What the hell, it's thundering, about to rain, and someone is on the roof!? Koi pagal hi hogi. Bilkul pagal!!'

After another roar of thunder passed and wind swept Raman's hair back, silence fell. And then he heard it.
Chum, chum, chum, chum, chum. The constant, furious rhythmic beats. As he listened, the beats already fast, became even faster.

Whoever was upstairs on their building's roof, was either incredibly stupid, or incredibly careless, or both.

Or had a death wish.

Raman was returning to the building after a tiring day at work. His life was a mess and this wasn't home anymore. It hadn't been for years. Maybe it never would be again. Even if that woman had returned. Her coming back, it wasn't for him. She was somebody else's, and she was only here for Ruhi. After all, he was right all along. Their love for each other was all dependent on Ruhi.

Ruhi. His Ruhi.

Found. Rescued. Broken. Fragile.cofused Lost. Insecure. Furious. Scared. Heartbroken. Only fourteen. She felt all of this, only at fourteen. Raman himself needed to drown himself in alcohol to survive all this as an adult, and she was only fourteen.

But, she was back. She wasn't dead. And neither was that woman.

Raman couldn't even utter her name. Every time he uttered her name, he felt he was still the one to lay claim on her. As if her very existence in this world simply meant she was his. Only his. Not mani's. But that was never true. She was never truly his. Not even before mani.

Raman broke out of his reverie as another clasp of thunder struck, and leaves shook from the trees in terror. He could still hear the 'chum chum', which hadn't slowed down. He was the only one around, and he did not want a real death on his hands this time. He already lived in constant, pure, unwavering agony and guilt for seven years. And that death wasn't even real. That person just didn't want to come back to him.

He climbed each level of the stairs quickly, getting angrier every second. This person on the roof, who ever she was, would be getting an earful any minute now. And as he looked up after ascending the last stair, all those thoughts stopped in their tracks. And he was the one stunned into silence instead. No, he was the one mesmerised into silence.

He knew she could dance.the salsa, he had danced with her himself. At Weddings, he'd been her partner. But this. This he had only heard about. And it left him breathless.

Her plaited hair whipped furiously as she spun barefoot with the heavy anklets beating faster and faster against her ankles. Her face was fixed in determination. No, it was fury. Anger. Rage. All mixed with sadness. As she switched moves, the elegance and poise with which she carried herself left Raman transfixed. She wasn't slowing down. If anything it was like she was attempting to dance her problems away. Dance until her feet bled. And then he saw red. She was literally dancing until her feet bled.

Raman forced himself back to reality and saw her eyes, just a minute ago filled with fury, roll to the back of her head. He ran forward to catch her before she could hit the ground.
Edited by Zoyamalik2005 - 9 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

13

Views

2.2k

Users

11

Likes

59

Frequent Posters

DikshaN thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
lovely beginning do continue soon
I have to say that it's such a pleasure to read ur posts with such pure analyses without any negativity
Zoyamalik2005 thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: DikshaN

lovely beginning do continue soon
I have to say that it's such a pleasure to read ur posts with such pure analyses without any negativity


Thank you!! I'm going to carry on with that, and not be negative, because why? What's the need. This ff is something I'm just trying, my main thing will definitely be analysis 😊
Veeann thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
This is really good I'm intrigued. Do continue soon
megha2227 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
lovely ! do continue
Edited by megha2227 - 9 years ago
Zoyamalik2005 thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Part 1b (as part 1 was so short)
Part 1b
How long had she been up here?
How long had she been doing this?

He looked towards her feet, scabbing now as the blood dried, and his heart ached. He thought about the look in her eyes as she danced. And his heart ached.

He looked at her. And his heart just ached.

And it drove him crazy. What kind of hold did she have on him. Seven years he thought she was dead. Seven years she stayed away. He told himself a thousand times every day that he hated her
You hate her.
You hate her
You hate her
But the thousandth time every day he admitted in defeat, you can never hate her. You love her too much.

Every day since she returned he wore a mask. He masked the sheer happiness he felt when he saw her. He masked the longing in his eyes with a cold stare every time they crossed paths when looking in on Ruhi. He masked the unbearable, heart wrenching pain he felt when he saw Mani squeeze her hand as he reassured her Ruhi would begin to trust her again soon.

Mani. Should've known. He was better than Raman. In every way imaginable. Perfect for Ishita really. Mani was everything Raman wasn't, and Raman couldn't even really hate Mani.

Mani did some thing very understandable. He fell in love with her too. How could any man, not fall in love with her. No, he didn't hate Mani, he just hated that he wasn't the one squeezing her hand to comfort her.

Possessive. That's what it was. He would always think of her as his. But was she, really ever his. If she was, wouldn't she have stayed with him. And not gone with Mani. Could they only exist as a 'them' if Ruhi was involved. Did Ruhi really define them so much, that the minute she was gone, Raman didn't mean anything to her?


He was left to grieve silently for a wife and daughter. She left him to think she was dead. He caged his heart so tightly that everyone thought he was made of stone. Ruhi's 'death' broke Raman, but this time she wasn't there beside him to put him back together.

She groaned in pain as the heavens opened and water droplets hit her forehead. Her eyes winced open to look up into the eyes she had longed to see for seven years. Eyes that used to reveal how deeply he loved her, now looked at her every day with a cold stare. Distant.

Why did she expect anything else? He had moved on. Shagun. Perfect, petite, beautiful Shagun. Shagun who she had spent the better part of her marriage being jealous of. That shagun. So what was she doing in Raman's arms instead?

As all her senses returned to her, and the rain fell heavier, she became aware of the pain in her feet, and all the more aware of the pair of arms around her. He felt like home. After years, she was home. He was wet, she was getting soaked, and all she could think was that this was perfect.

No Ishita. No. Stop that. He is not your Raman.

She started to flail.

'Let me go please'. She uttered.
'What the hell were you doing? ' he retorted in classic Raman fashion.
"What did it look like I was doing?" She raised her eyebrows.

There she was. His Jhansi ki Rani. Ready to spar with him. No Raman, don't. But it was too late. Ignoring the fact that the wind was getting wilder, and the rain continued to fall he gave in to the need to provoke her.

"I really don't know, your arms were flying, you were spinning, I thought your inner crazy was finally revealing itself out in the open". And he did it. He couldn't help it. After all these years, riling her up, seeing her fluster. God, he missed it. God he loved it.

She looked at him, and he could see she was attempting to formulate a witty response, just like she used to.

"You know exactly what I was doing, you used to ask me when I would finally let you see me dance!" Ishita shouted back.

And then there was pin drop silence. A reference to their life together, their past had been made, and Raman, who momentarily was her 'raavan Kumar' again suddenly wasn't again. And in that minute her heart shattered into a million pieces just like it had years ago. Only Raman could break her heart, to put it back together, to break it all over again. Only him.

He saw the transition from his Jhansi ki rani back to her again. It all happened in her eyes. Her eyes, no matter how he tried not to listen, always told him something his own mind wouldn't let him believe. His head told him she had moved on. Moved on with Mani. She had left to move on. And yet his heart told him to believe those beautiful brown eyes that told him she loved him. Only him. That her heart just broke all over again.

It was she who taught him to listen to his heart. So should he? Or would that mean listening to something that was never really spoken?

" I need to go Raman, thank you for catching me, I guess I didn't realise I was exhausted".
But before she could get to her feet, Raman swept her up in his arms.


mayasun thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 9 years ago
#7
I'm intrigued
Do Pm when you update if possible.

prachii thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Much needed one in this situation...Well scripted..Continue 😊
Veeann thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 9 years ago
#9
I love that you've started this story post Ruhi and Ishita's revelation. The initial face off is of course a story on its own, but if this track is handled properly, then post face off is where the angst and the emotions will come out, to shatter the walls of stone that Ishita and her Raavan have constructed around their battered hearts.

I am greedy I know, but do continue soon. Loving it.
-K.13- thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10
Great start! Can't wait to see how the MUs clear up & IshRa find their way bask together! ❤️

Related Topics

Ye Hai Mohabbatein thumbnail

Posted by: Manan_Pani_fan · 2 months ago

Karan Patel to be a part of Laughter Chefs 3: report As per reports, Karan Patel is likely to be a part of Laughter Chefs season 3. The hit...

Expand ▼
Ye Hai Mohabbatein thumbnail

Posted by: Manan_Pani_fan · 12 months ago

Exclusive:; Harshad Chopda and Shivangi Joshi likely to play leads The Sony TV show produced by Balaji Telefilms has seen major developments...

Expand ▼
Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".