The Process of Choosing- right or wrong?

There was something Dharaa mentioned in today's epi that struck me... when she said that if a life-partner is going to be chosen on the basis of a brief meeting or two, there is a more likelihood of choosing wrongly. And this is what happened in Dharaa's case as well... the biggest issue with Mihir is that he is a two-faced person; someone who lies and manipulates others around him. Now this is not something that can be detected in the brief, formal meetings that typically happens. It's not something that Dharaa's parents could have found out easily from investigating about him considering that Mihir pretends to be a nice gentleman to others around him. So considering all this, Dharaa had a point that the way a groom is chosen (though this is the norm) isn't quite the ideal way.

Yes what Dhara said is the reality of life.

the solution is clear, the courtship period.

nice post. Yeah agree with what Dhara said

Good post stephy. Exactly i have seen people with such marriages and later got to know their 'real husband' or 'real wife'. In the initial meetings it's obvious that whoever it is girl, boy or their families, no one will show their real side and will definitely behave well to show themselves perfect. Same thing happened with dharaa. So it's very difficult to choose the right person. Also when it comes to marriage a girl's family is always in a hurry to see her so called 'settled' and in that thinking many women have met with a terrible end. Sometimes even men are not spared though the number might be less compared to women.

Originally posted by: Chit15

Yes what Dhara said is the reality of life.

A girl meets few times with boy and if boy & his family gives a fake image in front of a girl no one can suspect them because in reality when we start living with a person we get through his real face.

It is easy to be fake for few hours or days but No person can fake for 24 hours and Mihir's real face got exposed when she started her life with him.

In some cases if boy & girls are in relationship for years still sometimes this situation occurs in that cases also.

But the tradition is going this way from years but what is real solution is not known to anyone?

Exactly, a person can easily pretend for a short while but something might slip-up when with that person for a longer duration... which is why spending time with a potential life-partner is necessary. But yeah, sometimes even with a proper courtship, one may never truly know about the other person but it would atleast reduce the likelihood of wrong choices.

Originally posted by: Arijit007

the solution is clear, the courtship period.

I agree... courtship is the solution to minimise wrong choices.

Originally posted by: AV25

Good post stephy. Exactly i have seen people with such marriages and later got to know their 'real husband' or 'real wife'. In the initial meetings it's obvious that whoever it is girl, boy or their families, no one will show their real side and will definitely behave well to show themselves perfect. Same thing happened with dharaa. So it's very difficult to choose the right person. Also when it comes to marriage a girl's family is always in a hurry to see her so called 'settled' and in that thinking many women have met with a terrible end. Sometimes even men are not spared though the number might be less compared to women.

Though courtship is a solution, but it's not suitable for the conservative families and families of small towns because it takes time for such families even to consider it as an option.

Thanks! That's the thing... in these brief meetings, people will portray themselves the way they want and it get's difficult to choose. And yeah, not just girls even guys can get affected. Like in this show also, if we see... in the first episode, Baa was against telling the guy and his family that Dharaa is a cricketer. But it was Dharaa who chose to be honest with Mihir from the first meeting itself.

Courtship will be a good solution but yeah, unfortunately conservative families are not as receptive of this.

Originally posted by: Dolly-heart

Great post Stephy.

The hypocrisy in this kind of marriages is done by both sides to hide the flaws of both the boy and the girl.

And we do end up with a partner that you slowly and painfullydiscover that it was not presented with truth and then you are told that it is allin your "Naseeb" and you have to live with it and adjust.

Before a woman could not even think of leaving because everyone would talk her out of it ,

now we have come a long way to get free from this mental torture from a abusive partner.

It is hard to read people within a meeting or two and make a life changing decision.

Thanks!

I agree... for something as important as choosing one's life-partner, more time and effort needs to be put into it. This doesn't happen because the emphasis is put on getting wedded off instead of the entire marriage life after the wedding.