Posted:
Today Bharat touched my heart. It is not that his love for his brother or his family is not known. He deeply cares. But what shone today in him was a heart that could feel. A man who could sense, the woman choosen by his father is not interested in marrying him.
And instead of allowing just things to be as they are he is worried and he pours out his heart to his elder brother. Telling him he is not happy marrying a woman who does not want to him. And asks his elder brother what he should do. And like an elder brother Ram asks him to speak it out with Mandavi and if he still feels the girl doesnt want him as her husband, he should call off the marriage without delay. Because if the woman doesnt choose with freewill she will not have samarpan towards her husband.
We have to see Bharat's dilemma with respect to the present day marriages that is forced on women. Still if the boy likes the girl many doesnt feel the need to ask the girl if she is fine marrying the boy. Rejecting the boy is taken as a sin. Girl seeing ceremony( Personally I am against this. ) where groom, his parents, his relatives come, see the girl from top to bottom and if they feel she deosnt meet their criteria or their parents doest able to give dowry reject and go. Only very few people show the decency in behaving well during girl seeing ceremony. Most come as if they are doing a favour on girl's family. Even the boy doesnt care whether the girl likes him. His parents told, he likes fine marriage can be taken forward.
I have always believed boy and girl should meet at neutral venue. If needed elders can go and stand by the side at a distance. Let the couple talk. And if they feel comfortable with each other then let the marriage proceed. In this way both the girl and boy will have a say in their marriage. And in the end it is them, not the parents who are taking the marriage forward.
Give your girls a chance to have a say in their marriage. It is the most important thing for a girl. Let her choose the one she is comfortable with. Only then she can commit herself to the responsibilities that come with marriage . Else she will tolerate, but keep on bickering which is neither good for family, nor good for society and one of the root cause of the news items we see in papers, like mother of 2 left kids and went with the lover. Woman killed her husband for the lover, woman ran away on the wedding day etc etc... If that choice is given lovingly to great extend such things can be avoided. Look at Mandavi, how she agreed happily for the wedding. It was the choice that mattered to her. When both her would be husband and her bade pithashree was willing to give her that she didnt had any problem with the decision as such.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
