Swayam once again walked away from his daughter, from his own flesh. He never regretted having her as a part of his life; she was not an outcome of his undefined desire but love, pure eternal love. She reminds him of her, his love, his wife, Mrs. Sharon Swayam Shekhawat. Niya Shekhawat was an evidence of her parent's love.
"Niya" Rey walked towards her and placed his palm on her shoulder.
"Pa...lets go..." She turned with a bright smile and pulled him towards his car.
She always surprised him with the level of maturity she has, even being aware of what is happening in her life she never complained to anyone. Despite being a part of a broken life, she managed to smile; she hid those unending tears behind her smile. She yearned for love from her parents when she enjoyed being with her Pa[Rey] and Ma[Tanni]. She craved for her dad's one look but she got nothing, every time he turned his back towards her.
"Paaa" Niya yelled at Rey; that snapped him out of his thoughts, they were inside his car.
"Yes doll, what you want?" he looked at her and smiled.
"Ice cream," She said with a cute pout. Who can say no to that?
"Ok." He parked the car and walked towards the roadside ice cream vendor.
"Pa chocolate." She grinned at him widely.
"Wanna come?" He offered.
"Yes." She jumped out of the car and walked with him.
After buying the ice cream, he picked her and made her sit on his car's bonnet, seeing her smiling without worrying about anything a sad smile appeared on his face.
"Niya.."
"Hmm.."
"Are you ok?" She stopped eating and looked up.
"Ha."
"You are not sad na? Papa did not talk you today too."
She did not reply, just continued to eat her ice cream. After few seconds, she said without looking at him.
"Pa... I know that papa does not like me, and he do not want me near him, but I can try and I will until I can. And I'm sure one day he will accept Me, though he did not look at me today, I'm happy because I met him and heard his voice," she said with a sweet smile,
Rey could not stop himself from pulling her into his comforting embrace. He squeezed her tightly though she was not his flesh he loves her like his own blood. Swayam should learn something from Rey.
"I need to talk to swayam."Rey thought to himself.
After that, they both went to their sweet home.
***
*Swayam's house, at 8:30 pm*
A loud shriek from the phone snapped swayam out of his paperwork.
"Hello," he said over the phone without checking the caller name.
"It's me swayam."
He suddenly took the phone away from his ear and checked the name, that instant he cursed himself under his breath for not checking the name before.
"Yes Rey, what can I do for you?" since that incident he brought formality between himself and his well-wishers.
"I want to meet you"
"I don't think, that can be possible," Swayam said after a while.
"Tomorrow at 4 pm in the caf near Niya's school," Rey said over the phone without even hearing what his friend said.
Swayam sighed. "But Rey."
"Be there on time."
"Ok fine, I will be there."
An awkward silence fell between them.
"Ok then bye, I'm little busy" Swayam tried to end the call when the awkwardness between them made him apprehensive. People should not be proud of this kind of awkwardness.
He knows that Rey wants to talk about Niya and she was one subject that he avoids regularly. It was not as he does not want to, but whenever he meets, her, his insights were forcing him to hate his life and his love.
"Why are you so desperate to end the call?" Rey asked frustrated.
Swayam has been avoiding Niya since she was born, sine nine long years and Rey could not let this happen anymore, he needed to do something very urgently.
"Nothing, I'm just doing work," He mumbled more to himself.
"Ok, then see you tomorrow." Rey knows that there is no way swayam will open up so easily.
"Yeah sure." A small smile formed on their faces.
"By the way swayam, I hope that you know where Niya's school is?" Rey smirked.
Swayam's face paled, whole blood drained out of his body. For a minute, he did not reply, not because he was not aware of where his daughter was studying but the way Rey asked that caught him off guard.
"Yeah I know," He said in a daze.
"Ok then good night." Without waiting for Swayam's reply Rey ended the call.
Rey was not taunting swayam, nor he did that for hurting him, but sometimes swayam really needs a reality check and only Rey could do that. Moreover, he tugged at the right nerve; after placing the phone in its place swayam walked towards his window and fell into deep thoughts.
***
*Rey's home*
"Rey" He turned to see his love, his wife, Tanni smiling brightly, since few days, she was glowing without any reasons.
"Yes love" he pulled her near him and wrapped his right arm around her waist.
Her smile vanished in a mere second when she noticed the worry in his eyes.
"Kya hua?" She asked him.
"Kuch nahi hua." lifting his left hand he tugged one strand of her hair behind her ear.
However, she frowned at his lie.
"Bolo na rey, I know something is there." She placed her palms on his chest.
"Nothing to worry about. Come let's have dinner." He kissed her forehead slightly and pulled her out of their bedroom.
"Where is Niya?" He frowned looking at the empty dining area.
"She must be in her room, doing her homework. I was going to call her." She smiled at him.
"Ok, then we will go together to get our doll." He took her palm in his and started to walk towards their princess room.
"Ok but you have to tell me what was disturbing you, after dinner." Tanni glare at him and that said do not dare to lie this time.
He gulped and nodded his head like the obedient kid. After that, they both went to Niya's room to get her.
***
*Niya's room.*
That was a perfect princess room, with light rose walls, a cute bed in round shape with the light violet bedspread. The room had its own beauty. A small study table was there in one corner and a small chair. One side of the room was completely filled with Barbie dolls and teddy bears. A huge light blue teddy bear was there on the bed and "For our beautiful doll. From Ma[Tanni] and Pa[Rey]" was written on that's belly.
Niya was sitting near her window, the light cold wind blew on her face, and smiling at the coldness of the wind, she wrapped her arms around her tiny fragile body for making her warm. It was nothing when it compared with her dad's coldness towards her.
She took a photo frame from her table and stared at that.
She sat there talking to her parents without noticing that two people were looking at her with love and sympathy. No one ever could turn his or her back towards that little angel then how could swayam do that.
She stared at Swayam and Sharon's photo that was taken on their wedding. Swayam was standing behind Sharon wrapping his arms around her waist and Sharon resting her hands over his with her head on his chest.
"Mumma, How are you? Princess is fine, haa papa is also fine. Mumma you know I met him today."
She spoke with the same enthusiasm that she usually had every time when she talked to her mumma. Her eyes sparkled with love and admiration when she spoke about her papa.
"I miss you mumma, I want to meet you..."
A lone tear escaped from her eyes, she suddenly wiped that and faked a smile. She did that in jet speed as if she does not want anyone to see it, especially her papa and mumma. After wiping the tear, she looked at the photo again and started to talk.
"Mumma you know you are so beautiful, and Ma[Tanni] told me that I am looking like you, but I am much like my papa."
Once again, her voice cracked.
"Mumma, why doesn't he love me? Am I not worth his love and attention? You know he do not even look at me, he flinches when I go in front of him as I'm a garbage, when will he look at me with love mumma, I have seen love in his eyes, I know he loves me but he is not expressing it, always showing coldness towards me, mumma I miss you."
She looked at the photo deeply for getting a reply but that did not respond to little Niya's questions, it been her daily routine to sit here and share everything to her parents.
She kissed their photo and stared at it.
"I love you, papa, I know you love me, and one day I will make you come to me and hug me tightly that day I will give you a big punishment, because you made Niya cry a lot, but she will not cry anymore over you because I have promised to Ma[Tanni] that I will not cry."
She hugged that photo close to her heart.
"Doll" Tanni wiped her tears and walked towards Niya. Rey and Tanni were standing near the door listening to Niya, they did not want to interfere in their sweet moments but they could not help but hear whatever she shared with her parents.
"Ma[Tanni]..." Niya ran towards Tanni and hugged her tightly around her waist.
"I missed you." They both give a kiss on each other's cheeks.
"Aur mein." Rey pouted.
Niya giggled with Tanni at his cute pout. He walked towards them and picked up Niya into his arm, she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist. He hugged her tightly, she has been craving for a father's warmth, and she knows only her Pa [Rey] can give her that, she yearned to with swayam like this but little mature Niya knows that is not possible in the near future, she has to work a lot and she will. She will make him [swayam] fall for her charm.
They three walked towards the dining area like that.
***
Next day as Rey informed, swayam came to meet him in the caf, while drinking the coffee, which he ordered to kill the time something caught his attention. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair when he saw Niya with Rey. They both were walking towards Rey's car, which was parked just in front of the cafe. He cursed Rey for bringing Niya there. They both crossed the road and stood near the car. Swayam abruptly stood up and turned to the other side to save him from her eyes. Niya did not see swayam.
After few seconds he turned back to look at them, the sight in front of him stabbed his heart. An acute pain passed through his veins. He stared at Rey and Niya with an unknown feeling, a pang of jealously formed in his heart. Niya was bidding abide to Rey, she kissed his two cheeks, that sight did not do anything good to swayam, a sudden rage formed inside him when he saw Rey that close to his daughter, all fathers are possessive for their kids, sometimes they don't even like their own wife near their kids.
"Swayam" Rey's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
Rey hugged him in a brotherly manner but swayam did not budge nor did he reciprocate, he stood there staring into the thin air, to the place where the car placed a few minutes ago.
"Sorry yaar, you waited for me, actually, I had to pick up Niya from school," Rey said breaking the hug.
Swayam suddenly looked at Rey when he heard Niya's name.
"Yeah, that's ok." They both sat there.
None of them tried to make the conversation, swayam sat there looking at one place, and rey staring at swayam. he frowned confusingly at his friend who was behaving differently.
A sudden smiled formed on Rey's face when he realized that swayam was looking at his daughter.
"She went," He stated.
"Huh." Swayam turned to look at Rey.
"I mean Niya, I send her to MY home." He used words carefully and intentionally gave a little stress to "MY".
"Oh, I was not looking at her." He defended.
"You know what swayam, you just don't know how to lie then why do you even try."
"I was not lying, why would I look at that girl?"
"Because she is your own daughter, and don't dare to call her like that again." Rey glared at swayam.
Swayam flinched at Rey's words. Again, a silence fell there.
"I'm sorry." Swayam broke it after few minutes.
"Why are you doing this swayam?" Rey asked out of the blue, but that was something they both were expecting.
"What do you mean?" swayam looked up confidently.
"Don't play around; you very know what I'm talking about and since freaking nine long years I'm behind you for the same thing. Moreover, what gotten into you that you are not even changing your attitude towards her, she is yearning for your single look. How could you just avoid her like she does not even exist?"
He took a deep breath, but swayam did not look at him.
"You are behaving as if she is a cheap scum in your life; I can easily see, you flinch whenever you meet her. Do not forget swayam she is your own flesh, you gave her the life, without you, she would not have been in this world, the same blood flowing into your and her veins. She is not your any mistake, she is the evidence of your love, the love which you pampered once, the love that you once had for Sharon."
Rey took a full stop there. He said that all things in a single breath. The whole time swayam was looking at his coffee, he did not dare to look at Rey's eyes.
"You can't run away, from this time swayam, I need an answer. She was crying last night talking to your wedding picture."
Swayam looked up as if he got a shock. His eyes were blood red. Hot tears appeared in it.
After a long silence, he speaks up.
"I can't Rey, at least, you try to understand me. She reminds me of Sharon, her eyes taunting me in my days and nights, she reminds me of what Sharon did, her presence is hurting me, it is pricking into my flesh, I'm admitting that I'm the worst father, I just can't bring my heart near her. I am scared...I will be a bad father to her, she loves you more than me...I know you will love her more than I can. You and Tanni are giving her everything that she wants, she is treating you both as her parents...See you once told me she calls you both Ma and Pa...let it be... let her live the life as your daughter." He said without meeting Rey's eyes.
"What the hell" Rey yelled without caring about the open space.
"Do you have any idea what you are talking about?"
"Rey."
"Just listen to me carefully. What if we back out from taking her responsibility?" Rey stood and crossed his arms across his chest.
"What do you mean?" swayam also stood up.
"Come with me"
They both walked out of the caf. After reaching near Swayam's car Rey spoke. He was unbelievably calm.
"Have you ever thought, what will happen when Tanni and I decide to have a kid our own? On the other hand, did you ever give a thought to, what will happen if our own child comes between us? Your sister, Tanni, she loves Niya more than anything and we both know that she will never show any difference between Niya and her own child, but what about Niya, she is a nine-year-old girl, she is growing up. Do not forget that...and freaking I want my own kid man." In the last Rey shouted and swayam stumbled back.
Rey did not say those things to make swayam feel bad, but he had not any choice, that was the last thing he could do for them. He loves Niya and giving her to swayam would not be easy for him but he has to do that. He was not yearning for a kid his own but this is the only way left to make swayam bring to the track.
Whenever swayam sees Niya he flinches, at that time Rey's blood boils that he wants to rip Swayam's head, which father shift uncomfortably when they see their own daughter.
Rey knows that swayam has his own reason's to behave like that. But what was little Niya's fault in that, she was bearing this since nine years just because she was Sharon's daughter, just because Sharon carried her in her womb for ten months, just because she nourished her through her blood, just because Sharon give birth to his own child.
The reality stabbed him harshly. He never thought in this way. Without replying anything, swayam entered into the car and sat on the passenger seat. Rey knows that swayam needs some time so he did not try to talk anymore. He sat on the driver's seat and drove off.
***
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