Girl With The Guitar Tattoo. [SWASAN FF] update Part 14, page 33

chi1tra thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#1
Hi Swaragians,
I have always been a silent reader in this forum and sinfully enjoy all the SwaSan FFs. This is my first time attempting a fiction piece myself. However, I like my protagonists a bit grey, which could be the reason I like Sanskaar's character so much.

However, my current story "The girl with the guitar tattoo" I am attempting to show Swara as a grey character and not some mahaan like the one shown on telly. However, the story still revolves around the families: "Maheshwaris", "Gadhodhias" and "Boses".

Please tell me if I should continue.

Part 1: Page 1
Part 2a: Page 2
Part 2b: Page 3
Part 3: Page 4
Part 4: Page 7
Part 5: Page 9
Part 6: Page 12
Part 7: Page 13
Part 8: Page 16
Part 9: Page 17
Part 10: Page 21
Part 12: Page 26
Part 13: Page 30
Part 14: Page 33
Edited by chi1tra - 9 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

211

Views

62.3k

Users

61

Likes

627

Frequent Posters

Besmine thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Please continue.. I would totally love to read something on Swara as a grey character.
robiayousaf thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#3
do continue love to see Swara as grey not mahaan j
mistofshadows thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 90 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Yup u should continue. Pm plzz
naujoker thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Please continue want to see swara in grey shade.
Really fed up with the current track.
chi1tra thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#6
PART - 1:

Kolkata-Apollo Hospital 11:30AM
The hospital corridor outside the cardiac surgery room looked like a mini-Marwari family gathering. Only in this case it wasn't loud or frolicking. All the faces were gloomy and tensed.

Annapurna Maheshwari (AP), slumped into the nearest chair and has been sobbing her eyes out in contrast to her always graceful and composed self. To her right was her co-sister, Sujata Maheshwari (Su) and to the left was her eldest daughter-in-law, Parineeta Maheshwari (Pari), who made a meek attempt to pacify her.

Two young men were pacing the corridor restlessly since it was their father, the great & larger-than-life Durga Prasad Maheshwari (DP) who was lying unconscious on the other side of that operation room battling for his life. They too were at a loss of words to console their mother and the entire family knew AP totally blanked out and was not in a position to register what they were speaking.

Facing towards the operation theater and away from the entire family was Ram Prasad Maheshwari, younger brother to DP, husband of Su, who was fighting his tears back and unable to face his family for he was in such a vulnerable state. Although he was DP's equal partner in running the business, he always preferred to give his brother an upper-hand in life. Without his brother he would feel like a limb without a torso.

Their family doctor, Dr. Somil Mukherjee rushed to the operation theater followed by a fellow doctor and a low-spirited young man. AP managed to stand up with the help of her elder son Adarsh Maheshwari to greet Dr. Somil.

Dr.Somil: Annapurna ji, Adarsh beta please meet Dr. Shekar Gadhodhia (Sh). He is one of the best cardiologists in India aur bahut recently woh Delhi se Kolkata move hue hai. We are lucky that he decided to join Apollo hospital as Head of Cardiology Dept. Aapko chinta karne ki koi zarurat nahi hai, Durga Prasad ji is in very safe hands. Dr.Sh has a track record of 100% success rate for open heart surgeries.

Dr.Sh to Maheshwari family: Namaste. Dekhiye mein doctor hu koi bhagwaan nahi, lekin mein aap sabko yehi suggest karunga, Be strong and lets hope for the best. I will try my level best.

Dr.Sh to Dr. Somil: I think the anesthesia would have taken effect we must start the procedure asap.

At this remark the younger son of DP, Laksh Maheshwari (La) came running towards Dr.Sh, holds the doctors hands and begs him to save his father. Seeing that this made the doctor uncomfortable the young man standing behind Dr.Sh comes and pats La reassuringly on the shoulder. La turns around and hugs the young man tightly.

Laksh: Sanskar bhai apko pata hai na papa ke bina apna parivar kitna adhura ho jayega. Hum sab maa ko kaise face karenge.

Sanskar Maheshwari (San), the only child of RP and Su, the business heir to the Maheshwari empire stood there understanding very well, it's not just the family that will be incomplete without his bade papa. The jute textiles business built by his father & bade-papa will crumble. San is entrusted with holding the entire weight of the business at a very young age of 28, because his bade-papa saw the potential in him and not his own two sons.

Although he was calm on the surface and consoling his little brother, who was younger to him only by 2yrs. There was a storm brewing inside San as he was reminiscing over the events that happened in the day that turned his world upside down.

**Flashback: 5hrs back: 6AM**
It was just a regular day in the Maheshwari Mansion. Everyone assembled at the mandir and did their prayers listening to the melodious aarti sung by Annapurna. Prayers followed by the usual silent breakfast, where women of the house serve food, everyone eats quietly with an occasional chit-chat initiated by Laksh or Sanskaar trying to make the mood casual.

By 8AM all men of the house left for work while Laksh was doing, hell God knows what he does. Once everyone was at the office his father and bade-papa went directly to office but he and Adarsh went to the jute-mills for a site inspection. Around 10:30AM he got a call from his father saying his bade-papa had a major heart-attack, collapsed in the office and that they are already on their way to the hospital. His father conveyed enough details for him and Adarsh to make it to the hospital.

He painfully remembered how he got flustered but controlled his tears, made a bunch of calls informing their family doctor Dr.Somil and requested (rather screamed painfully) him to gather the best doctors in Kolkata.

**End of Flashback**

Kolkata-Apollo Hospital: 3PM
San's thoughts were interrupted by everyone running towards the door as Dr.Sh and Dr.Somil came out of the operation room after 4hours or surgery. AP's face was swollen with all the tears and the trauma.

Dr.Sh announced that the operation was successful and everyone heaved a sigh of relief. To everyones surprise AP took the hands of Dr.Sh in hers and thanked him whole-heartedly.

AP: Aap sach mein hamare liye bhagwaan se bhi jyaada hai. Aaj apne ne ek insaan ko nahi ek parivar ko bachaya hai. Mein unke bagair apna zindagi soch bhi nahi sakti.

Su and Pari, held her back making it evident to her that they were around for moral support. San and La gave each other an assuring hug.

Dr.Somil: Dekhiye Annapurna-ji hum ab unko ICU mein shift karenge. Unko minimum 1week hospital mein rehna hoga aur discharge ke baad bhi 1month ki complete bed rest mein suggest karunga.

Dr.Sh: Ek aur baat hai, mein janta hu Somil aapke family doctor hai lekin surgery maine administer kiya hai so I hope aapko problem nahi hai agar mein patient ko consult kar raha hu toh.

Everyone nods in agreement happily.

Dr.Sh: I will come at 6PM for visiting the patient, if I don't turn up just come to my cabin and remind me, he says with a feeble smile.

Dr.Sh's Cabin: 6:30 PM
La and San knock on the door to Dr.Sh room even though the door is open. They enter and see that the room is empty and a young lady is sitting on the patients stool. La looks at her empathetically thinking she has some heart disease at such a young age.

A young lady, not more than 24yrs in age, dressed very modest yet elegantly in a light-pink colored lucknow chiken suit. On the table in front of her were a doctors coat and a steth. She observes that La has been staring at her, non-stop and passes a careless remark, looking in the direction of La:

Lady to La: You must avoid dropping your jaw. Blink eyes more often, else you will have heart problems for all the wrong reasons.

La gets pissed and was about to give it back to her, while San interrupts and explains her that they are looking for Dr.Sh and how he said he would visit their father for a customary check-up.

She was just about to answer when Dr.Sh enters the room and tells the gentlemen he already visited their dad. The boys sounded relieved. And much to their surprise the young lady who appeared rude and unapproachable just two sec ago gets up with a huge grin and gives Dr.Sh a big warm hug.

Dr. Sh, asks La and San to take a seat while the lady makes herself comfortable on the patients stool.

Dr.Sh to the lady: So Dr.Ragini (Rag) aaj aap yeha kaisey.

She gives a hearty laugh and replies.

Dr.Rag: Ma ne aapko nahi bataya. I am organizing the children's day event in the pediatric unit. So I came at lunch time, it seems aap surgery mein the so I went to the pediatric unit directly. I thought abhi aapke saath hi ghar nikal jaungi, you will come home tonight right.

Dr. Sh observes that the La & San were uncomfortable, so he speaks to them.

Dr.Sh to La & San: Don't worry about your father, I guarantee you he will recover in less than a week. These are common heart problems in our age. So you must stress your heart as less as possible at your age so you can live at peace with your heart at our age, and starts laughing at his own joke.

(Rags looks at him disapprovingly.)

By the way, she is my daughter Ragini Gadhodhia (and points to her). Woh abhi MBBS final year mein hai, isiliye she likes "hanging-out" (and he imitates what teenagers do with two fingers to quote something) in hospitals, never finds it odd.

Everyone laughs, and they all exchange a friendly hello. La & San thank the doctor and leave the room.

Once the boys leave Rags asks the patient record and what is wrong with La & San's father. Sh tells Rags it was a simple open heart surgery and how he was moved to see their entire family support each other. How much they cared for the man who was battling his life, and this is love & care of family is what motivated the patient to be alive.

As he detailed to Rags, the care and love in that family his eyes were not looking at her but through her into a distant past. She knew exactly why her father was so touched today looking at a family so complete and perfect.

**Pre-Cap**
Children's Day Celebrations. Some Rag-Lak moments. Meeting of Maheshwari & Gadodhia families.

Edited by chi1tra - 9 years ago
chi1tra thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: mistofshadows

Yup u should continue. Pm plzz

Sorry was unable to PM you. Or may be I did something wrong, I am too new in here.
DarkPhoenix93 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#8
A superb start. Is Swara still Shekhar's daughter in this fic? Something happened to her and that's why she is grey? I can't wait to read about the reason due to which she became grey! Must be pretty big! If Swara is Shekhar's daughter then is she living with her family? Will the Maheshwaris meet her in the next update? So many questions and such precious few answers. Update soon please so I can get my answers!
naujoker thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Fabulous update!!!!!!
Curious to know swara's entry.
gayu6 thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10
Nice start really loved ur update. So when is our bubbly swara's entry. If possible pls do pm me also

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".