Suhani on my mind

Short trip into Yuvraj's head

I lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. It was so late but I just could not get any sleep. I looked over at Suhani and she was sleeping peacefully. She had her back to me and that really annoyed me. How can she sleep so soundly? Its been three weeks since we remarried and she is content to just lay next to me. Its like the whole world is conspiring against me. I finally have my life back and I can't even hold her hand.

After that whole Rohan disaster and having nearly lost her I finally got to hold her in my arms that dat. When she hugged me I felt like I would never let go. Then those three came in and relactantly I had to release her. Since that hug it's like my body can not and will not forget how she felt in my arms. That day I did not want her an inch away from me and did not care that I was holding her hand infront of everyone. When Dadi separated our hands it physically hurt and I just had to keep reminding myself, "she is mine, she loves me, no one is taking her away from me"... just to keep myself from snatching her hand back. I wanted her back home that very day but Dadi ruined that plan insisting that we marry first.

Now we are married, yet here I am, sleepless.

I can not believe that I thought I loved Soumya. Looking back on that period in my life I can only laugh at myself and how deluded I was. This feeling that I have for Suhani and what I felt for Soumya are worlds apart. Suhani is a part of my Soul. What I took so long to realise was that Suhani was my perfet fit. Like the tin man in the wizard of oz. She is my heart...without her am just a tinman..no depth no feeling no meaning. Without her I exist but with her I am alive.

I kissed her today ...well on the cheek but I just couldnt help myself. Alot has been going on since the wedding. Amit dying, Sharad marrying Bhavna,Bhavna moving to Birla house. What does my lovely wife do? Suhani worries...she worries constantly about everyone and everything...but never about herself... her face has taken on a permanet frown which makes me sad. I hate seeing her tense, I miss seeing her smile.

Do I look out for Bhavna even more just to ease her tension? Yes...but does she see it ...my stubborn wife? No. She worries even more and actually snaps at me...which makes me laugh and I annoy her even more just to distract her from her worrying.

Anyway I kissed her today. Once again I was on a mission to distract my wife and maybe see one of those now rare smiles.

It started out as teasing but then as I got closer to her I realised that i was making a grave mistake...if she keept looking at me like that then I would be lost ..so I kissed her and ran like a coward...I need some time alone with my wife...I need to talk to her, be with her and make up for the whole of last year...I now understand what she was going through last year...because here I am wanting even the tiniest bit of attention from my wife but too much is going on around us. I need to get her out of this house...atleast for a few days.

She shifts in her sleep, turns around and puts her arm around me.

She smiles in her sleep.

She moves closer and my heart starts beating faster. She sleeps on innocently unaware of the effect she has on me...I kiss her on the forehead and whisper I love you...put my arm around her and close my eyes. Everything seems right just right when I have her in my arms...slowly I start to dose off dreaming of honeymoon destinations

If only they made Yuvraj SAY this aloud to himself. A monologue with himself. It would undo so many errors!

especially ,the SHOW go down

P.L.E.A.S.E...

But it also made me sad that it's not part of the show. They have a treasure in their hands and unlike many shows, they have the audience's attention. And what do they do? They throw it away with mindless drama. When all the public really wants is sweet romance. Blossoming of the brilliant love story they keep overshadowing with crap.