Congatulations it's a girl..wat ..wat??

I am a proud mom of 2 beautiful daughters who are the joy of my life. Thankfully I have parents and in- laws who are sensitive enough not to have mentioned the B word ever . But not all the people in the Indian society are broad mined, educated and sensitive enough…On more than one occasion I have been reminded by people around me that unless you have a son the family is not complete…

Some incidents that I have experienced, which made me think hard about this issue

1) My regular taxi walla who is from Pakistan…a real nice decent guy…suggests to me that I should go to a mazaar and pray for a son…huh??????

2) I meet my husband's aunt( masi)- my MIL has 4 sisters and no brothers btw- her younger daughter just had a baby girl after years of waiting…the elder one has a girl already…and this Aunt is happy but sad at the same time and says how I wish it were a boy!...huh again!!!!!!

3) We are at a cousin's wedding…from the girls side…and the baraat comes in…the girls relatives are running helter skelter trying to meet the demands of baraatis for chai and thandaa etc etc…and someone comments"this is the time when the girls' parents just have to fold their hands and bow down to the ladke walle…" Whhhyyyyyyy??

4) For the month I am at my parents' place on all festivals/ vrats lots of fruit and mithai is delivered to us from the sasurals of all my male cousins. Why?? Could we not be sending something to the ladki wallas for a change?

5) A niece of mine gets engaged …the ladke walle insist that they come down to their home town for the wedding and her parents have no choice but to agree…so they are now managing the arrangements in this alien town where they know no one…and all our relatives will have to take a 2 night train journey if they want to attend the wedding.

6) A guy from Kerela who cleans cars just came back fro holiday in India and gave us the news that he has had a baby girl…after two sons…says he is happy but already worried coz…in his words" aapko mallom hai na India mein Ladki ke liye kita mushkil hai"

I just wonder whether a day will ever come in India when people who say " congratulations it's a girl" will really mean it!

Do you think its still lip service in terms of rights of a girl child or have we made some progress?
• Does education broaden our horizons enough to really not discrimate on basis of gender?

Sorry for the long post...I got carried away!😛

Kuch be bolo... Personaly I like Baby girls...... 😊 they'r so sweet.... 😊

But its true....People think....'ek ladka hua thoo acha dha',and it not mean they all hate the baby girls......we cant blame anyone...or its not coz of male domination or anything like that.....I saw lot of places Ladies itself Praying, to get a baby boy......😊

we said congrats when my bhabhi had a baby girl 😳

all the instances u told are wrong except ur hubby's maasi one.... i dont think she was against the birth of girl but with so many females already in house its natural to have a desire to get a boy to pamper.... 😊

even i was irritated by some of my relatives saying hum ladkewale hain tum baitho yaha pe in my bhai's wedding.... but i shd blame the surrounding they come up in.... i did nt give heed to their calls and worked on bhai's wedding not considering who am I.... just enjoyed the day and did my duties 😃 ......

even i was irritated at the behaviour of ladkewalas in my cousin sisters weddings.... 😭

Great topic TH! 👏

I have five nieces from three siblings and none of us has ever felt the need or desire to have a boy, but yes there are plenty of people - who shouldn't, in the first place, be saying anything at all, but who insist on adding there two bits everywhere - and these people have hinted that it's time there was a boy in the family 🤢

The mindset is changing, though. I mean just look at yourself, and like I said at my family, too. I am sure there are plenty others on thsi forum who genuinely feel the same way. it used to be different even 20 years ago when if a girl was born, people went around with glum faces and didn't didtribute sweets. The poor mother who had given birth to a girl had to deal the accusatory tones and long faces. Apparently, when I was born, one of our family friends went and accused the nurse of having switched babies 😆 since she so wanted the first kid to be a boy. It's a different matter that she adored me later 😃 These days you see people genuinely celebrating a girl's birth and meaning it when they offer congratulations. They also do not keep having girls in their attempts to have that male heir. They are a minority, but surely the number will go up.

As for this "hum ladke waaley hain to better hain" or "hum ladki waaley hain to jhukna padega" - as long as we follow some of these dated rituals, such behaviour will continue to exist. It's up to us - the new generation to say no and to do away with the traditions that are keeping us in the middle ages.

@ TallyHo

I just wonder whether a day will ever come in India when people who say " congratulations it's a girl" will really mean it!

It will never come.

Do you think its still lip service in terms of rights of a girl child or have we made some progress?
Now parents are thinking about giving education and permission to go for job. But still only lip service in terms of right even in the so called 100% literate state like "Kerala".( You have the example also). I admit that there are exceptions .

Does education broaden our horizons enough to really not discrimate on basis of gender?
Yes education broaden the horizons a little, still there is discriminarion on the basis of gender. I felt descrimination as a girl child from some part of my relatives but MY FATHER was there for me and later my bothers.
Sorry for the long post...I got carried away!

I also felt the same since a mother of two daughters. there is descimination from my in laws and from my husbands relatives.even my mother bothered about my position.

But at any time of my life I never bothered except for when we are travelling to distant places(security).

very nice post ..
as SJB said mind set are changing with more acceptance for girls but still a long way to go .
to some extend women are responsible for such things too .you will find many of them change views over the time ... specially in saas bhi kabhi bahu thee situaion. Men should've self respect not to put burden over their wives folks and women should be supportive to encourage such acts of their sons or brothers

ya its true that the mind set is changing but very slowly and particularly in certain states. the main reson for this discrimination is that woman is an enemy of a women. MILs' only want dowry they cannot see their DIL happy. then these buas', mausi's even mothers at time who discriminate between daughters and sons.

so i think this situation will not change till women have unity among themselves.they have to stop being jealous or this society will always be male dominated.

men never say anything against men in such situations contrary to women which is the reason for them being at par.

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

men never say anything against men in such situations contrary to women which is the reason for them being at par.

Actuly women itself talk against women😕.......poor Men kya kare😊........

Originally posted by: Believe

Actuly women itself talk against women😕.......poor Men kya kare😊......

A lot , a man can be reluctant to take dowery, be supportive to a girl child , give proper education to her and give proper opportunity to her

Originally posted by: nitasuni

A lot , a man can be reluctant to take dowery, be supportive to a girl child , give proper education to her and give proper opportunity to her

Dowery giving n taking againt Indian Law.....hope u know that......why people ready to give😳......just reject like that proposals😳 is it only guy's mistake !!!???😕.......The new era peoples mind changed a lot...cos girls are in all field, Girls getting support from society/family/ etc ..In india lacks n millions of girls working/studying ...but its true 2% or 3% of people think like that....we cant blame all...😳

Men always support n care womens thats the fact.......😊