Congatulations it's a girl..wat ..wat?? - Page 3

Simply, think for those who are married for last 10-15 years and dont have childrens and praying hard to get male or female....then i thing one may realize what gift is having a child..rather discussion on gender..

Dont forget the one giving this bundle of joy to the family is itself a Woman !!!

this is one topic that i truly feel for. there will always be a set of people who will never be happy with a healthy kid. but as SJB said, time is changing, dont know if the subcontinental mind will ever change becoz in some people its ingrained in them through past generations. i have been told numerous stories about the birth of baby boy and celebrations associated with their birth and how women are reprimanded when they deliver baby girls by their in laws, in some cases they are forced to abort the babies. i really feel for them even though i am not there yet. i dont have hopes from certain people becoz there will always be some people who will be biased! ashu thanks for posting this topic, its a very touchy issue yet very meaningful. thanks a lot!

Originally posted by: TallyHo

Mothers as it is are in a vulnerable mental and physical state after the delivery...insensitive , loud mouthed relatives should be made to stay away!

well- said. in fact, it should hold good at all instances before, during and after delivery 😊.
In some pars of the world, people should seriously learn to buzz off from other people's lives 😛

The thing is shame is something still mostly propagated from a girl.. For eg... for all the smart talk we do.. we know someone could tolerate it if his 15 year old son was dancing topless in the yard rather thah his daughter...(even if she was earning money for it - just my bad thought) He would be ok if the son made a mistake of having sex rather than his girl.. Whatever it is the society is what it is... And I believe given the current circumstances... parents wanting a son for religious, moral and other reasons cant be totally criticized....Yes if they go to the extent of commiting crime than it shouldnt be allowed...but again something that is not totally inconceivable...

the prospect of a girl going for live-ins, premarital, promiscuity is something the "great" US of A accepts and then whines and wants to have a "culture war" but most societies which have inbuilt value systems would have certain things which form some underlying assumptions...

Ashu, this is a touching topic. Most of the things you mentioned are true. There are instances when a mother of two or more boys yearn for a girl but in most cases people love to have boys because they fear dowry and want someone to take their family name forward.

Even in a literate state like Kerala where matriartical society is predominant, people have similar attitude. May be not as severe as one see in remote places but it is still there. One of my uncles refused to see his third daughter at the time of birth because he was hoping for a boy after two girls. It is a different matter that now he loves all his three girls equally.

We are talking about India but you will be surprised to see somewhat similar attitude among some educated Americans too. Here people don't have dowry or taking family name forward issues but still have met many who would prefer at least one boy in the family. My friend who is an ob/gyn told me how a father stormed out after an ultrasound to detect gender when he found out that his wife was having a girl. Apparently, he wanted a boy to do all outdoor activities with him. 😕 What a lame reason!

Originally posted by: Maya_M

he wanted a boy to do all outdoor activities with him. 😕 What a lame reason!

well ..in west it is still male dominating society... so till this change .. wish for a boy is not going to change either ..even in west attitude of father or rather you can say emotions of a father is almost same towards their daughters. . What I always feel .. for men to keep a woman is showing a kind of strength over others ..but to have a daughter who eventually be taken away by another man is some how not so desirable .

Well, last month we had been to the hospital to see my cousin sister's FIRST baby girl...just hours after she was born. Her MIL was sitting there all happy and I was like WOW this is ONE GOOD MIL!But as soon as she seens my mum, she says, "amaavasya 2 din pehle tal gayi thi, socha ab zaroor beta hoga!!" 😡 I just stood there, not knowing what to say to the shocked people around me as well!!!And what did she achieve by saying all that? Dont know seriously!

I dont know if education helps, seriously! 😕 I mean didi's MIL was probably my mum's age or a bit elder, and she is a PhD in Social something(which is even more weirder considering the social issue she just made a comment on!) I mean common! I see people around me talking about this, couples stuck in stressful lives today are struggling to have kids, and whenever they have one, they are on the moon with joy! Can you just not value that little cute bundle of life? Do you really care what gender it is? I dont get it 😕

Im sorry but I think ...we have a long long way to go..trying to bring about a change in this aspect 😔

Originally posted by: sohn

Well, last month we had been to the hospital to see my cousin sister's FIRST baby girl...just hours after she was born. Her MIL was sitting there all happy and I was like WOW this is ONE GOOD MIL!But as soon as she seens my mum, she says, "amaavasya 2 din pehle tal gayi thi, socha ab zaroor beta hoga!!"

how can an educated woman use such comments even while joking? one of my friends was telling me the story of how some woman are boycotted when they cannot give the family a boy or the husband is forced to marry another lady, PATHETIC 🤢 🤢 🤢 there are some communities where the birth of girl is considered a blessing. wish subcontinental people could think the same

Great topic TH Dr. Ashu 👏 🤗 Long time no see 😊

Both side of our families we have lots of boys and my side 2 girls and my husband side 1 girl between three bothers.

When my son got married we were excited to have my DIL in the family. After 30 yrs female spiece in our family 😳 . Boy I felt relief 😛 . Daughters and DILs are considered to be Laxmi as how I was raised and told by my Grand father.

When my grand daughter was born it had been 33 yrs w/o any girls in our family. We were praying it would be a girl. Honestly there is nothing like having a girl in the family. Announcements were out "Proud parents & grand parents of SOna" & "Congratulations its a girl".

I think we Indians still have a some way to go before everyone accepts girls and don't feel that they must have a boy to carry family name. What ever one gets in name of child accept & be happy as long as they are healthy.

I won't discuss Dowry ETC b/c both our families don't believe in that and follow that tradition.

Everyone has given good points on this topic.

Cheers
DB

Whether it is a matriachial or a patriachial society, educated or uneducated people there is no difference in the partiality of relatives and even parents, in deeling with a boy and girl. only the attitude of the persons deceide in which way he/she treat a girl child.

In the matriachal society of 70 or 80 years back(long back its existance ended in Kerala ) in the family (Koottukudumbam/ Tharavadu) also difference in treating the girl child and a boy. Good quality food given to the boy and to the girl only minimum because she has to cater the needs of the family in future(hearsay from elders and books.) . The family is governed by the 'Karanavar/head of the family' and all are done according to his wishes, the day to day life, marriage of a girl(usualy get married to a much older person from Brahmin community for the sake of family honour or to her cousin)some time against the wishes of the girl. The only advantage in the matriachal society was that she will not be homeless if the husband ditched her(in some cases the "karanavar' end the marriage if he lost interest in the person who married the girl) and there was no dowery. It was also a male domiated society.(there are difference in the customs in south and north of Kerala , in Southern part more male domination and the cost of bridegroom is very high (against law) even now.)

There are exceptions, in my family and in my in laws no dowary so far, thanks god .