Posted:
Pain...that's all I could see, hear, feel. Some may be able to see romance, some love, some cuteness, some TLC...what I saw was sheer soul searing pain!! Pain that kills you every day..slowly gnawing on your insides, eating up every thing like acid ..pain that seeps through the very pores of your soul!!
Plenty will say that when Nandu got drunk it was cute, funny, sweet..yes it was...cause when u let your walls down, all that's inside gushes out, unchecked. A normal 17 year old girl, in the throes of first attraction, wanting answers to things she could not fathom, that's what our innocent Nandu was. Manik...what do I say about this broken, dysfunctional kid??
Cause what gushes out is not love, not physical desire, nor sexual need, nor meaness, nor harshness. Neither does the rich spoilt bully makesan appearance. He is not aggressive, he is heart breakingly needy. He is not fury and passion, Manik is all but begging for an ear and a shoulder. When he loses his senses, he does not let his libido talk, nope, he simply wants her to listen. Can a drunk, roofied, desperately in love, 19 year old stud, get more honorable?? He wants her with all his being, her proximity a balm to soul, her closeness a craving that rules all logic, yet he simply wants to...talk!! All you get when u scratch the surface of Monster Manik is pain!! Raw agony of the soul, a soul that has been living in hell for too long. A weary, battle scarred, toughed, hardened survivor that needs some respite, some shade.
Months in this show, and we kind of guessed what was behind that ruthless faade. But, today...thank you Soha, for finally making this boy child lose control. Thanks a ton for finally giving us a glimpse of what Monster Manik really is, or more importantly, thanks for finally giving a glimpse to Nandini. The lover boy who constantly seeks you out, tries to get close to you on every occasion, has a reason, Nandini. He is wounded to his steel core, his insides all broken and you are the only one...the sole human in this whole wide world who has the power to heal him...and he is the one who has given you that power.The biggest fear of the fearless now...you leaving him!! God not show him the day when fed up with his mistakes, you too walk out on him and leave him alone till eternity!!
Whether drunk or in his senses, this lost child would have never...never...ever opened his self. Not for him, the luxury of licking his wounds in public or private. He is one of the rarest few, who even don't know that they are wounded. I can bet Manik has never spared a thought to himself, or wallowed in self pity or felt bad for what life had dealt him. Not this man (and yes this time man cause the way he deals with what life has thrown at him is a sign of a real man)!! And however much in love with Nandini, not for him the sharing and caring. He would rather die a million deaths than give her a glimpse of his private hell, beg for her understanding, plead for her empathy, grovel for her love cause he so desperately wants and needs it...nope..that is not Manik!!
But she needed to know, and I always wanted her to see at least a small part of how much in agony her Manik was. The foundations of the monster...no one cared, no one bothered, denied a family, a father that was gone, a mother...(why insult motherhood)..who should have gone, the world a harsh place. Constant bewildering battles with people who only hurt and hurt more!! And then he finds his kind, lost children from broken homes, lonely and scared, battling every moment with the world outside and the gaping eternity inside. So, he was not alone...such a relief!! He finally had company, someone who talked his language, some who understood the hollowness inside, the vacuum, the roiling, boiling rage, the frothy furious lava, or the searing, never abating, never stopping pain of betrayal, the urge to feel love, in any shape or form...the fears, desperations, needs, calls for help, unheeded screams...
And they finally got what was always denied to them. What we commoners always take for granted. ..Family, love, unconditional support, unbreakable loyalties, an unfailing support system, a non judgemental trust!! He wants her to know why he was harsh, why he bullied...they bullied. Its his apology of sorts. Trying to maker her understand why he was such a monster. Ashamed of his mistakes, of the way he treated her. Sorry...how genuine, how heart felt..the man needed to be drugged to the roof to confess his crimes and to apologize for them. She might forgive him, already has, but something tells me, he will never forgive himself for all he did to her.
It all gushes out, all that was festering inside...all that needed to let out!! She just has to listen, and how sweetly she does!! Even at his worst, he is still thinking about others. His friends pain, how Fab 5 was not all there in the car...and why he said what he said...yes Manik she understands that she is not irrelevant, you might not be good with words, but your Nandini is very good at reading between the lines.
Thank you cvs for finally starting the healing process. For finally letting Nandini know how deep the rot is!! How shattered the deadly dude of the world is!! How rocky the very foundations of this Rock Star are!! How parched, how thirsty is this boy child for love, one simple drop one look, one touch, one smile...He has everything...but he seeks something...anything...and gets nothing!! Finally Nandini finds the pieces of the intricate puzzle called Manik Malhotra and now she can start piecing this boy together to form a man she can be proud of!! Now she gets some clues to the mystery called Manik!!
They say in order to start healing, you first have to acknowledge the pain, the loss. Come to terms with the bitter fact that yes you need help!! Today, Manik, for the first time ever in his life, recognizes pain!!
Can't help thinking about the first day this character was introduced...so abrasive, rich, spoilt, over confident, suave, sexy, harsh, cruel, a bully...called this guy a zillion names...and today...have run out of adjectives for him. What do I call him, a hurt child, an abandoned kid, a lost soul, a famished and parched dysfunctional being, a desperate on the edge of a precipice daredevil, a beggar for scraps of love, an absolutely needy pitiful human being, a brave soldier, a self less leader, a tougher than the toughest survivor, worldly wise, a self made man ...what do I call you ManiK Malhotra??
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
