Chapter 15
It had been three days since that night, most things had changed between them. She was still his cabin boy, but the duties lessened, she doesn't help him in bath, doesn't bring the buckets for his bath, he eat straight from the tray, he doesn't sleep naked anymore, spends most of his time in Anshul cabin rather than his own, treat her as a mere cabin boy as if she doesn't exist, which is the most frustrating part. He barely talk with her anymore, give only orders then that's it, nowadays, start snapping at her. She miss his humor, the way he tease her, he make her angry, their bickering, she miss all of them.
"Hey laddie! Wanna join me tonight?" Abhay asked cheerfully.
Astha was grateful that she had Abhay by her side, he kept her mind off from the Captain. He taught her few things going in the ship which kept her busy and thrilled her as she learned them. She had grown close to him, although she kept her profile low, he happen to be quite chummy and gave a full details of his life and he doesn't even mind if she doesn't disclose anything about herself.
"For what?"
"I'm up for a watch tonight, wanna come?"
As long as she doesn't have to be with Captain and his long suffering silence, she agreed.
***
It was her first time in the crow's nest (a structure in the upper part of the main mast of a ship or a structure that is used as a lookout point.), she couldn't believe the view of the ocean was splendid and mesmerizing from up here. The moon was full and shining bright, silver rays touching the water, brightening the water itself with its silver color, gentle breeze brushing against her cheeks, light waves rising and falling, everything was beautiful, so perfect and..so romantic. The thought of Shlok came into her mind, she shrugged it away instantly. She shouldn't think about him when he doesn't care about her, she should enjoy this, not ruin it by thinking about that bloody giant.
"Beautiful, nah?" She heard Abhay said.
"Yes. It is my first time up here and I've never seen anything as beautiful as this."
"But I have."
She frowned then looked at him, he was gazing at her with a small smile on his lips.
"What do you mean?"
"I said I've seen more beautiful thing than this one. Actually compared to that beauty, anything will fade out." His voice more soft and gentle as he spoke.
"You won't ask what that thing is?"
Her heart slammed against her chest, it can't be happening, he couldn't be knowing she's a woman, she can't lie more, and does she suck at disguise and acting?
"I know you aren't what you are, so just give it up. You are a beautiful woman."
She closed her eyes in despair, she knew he was going to say that, there's no point in lying now. She heard his chuckle and opened her eyes.
"How did you know?"
"The way you keep secrets, I thought there was something fishy about you, you don't tell anything about yourself, not even name, since you said you were an orphan, at least you would've named yourself, but you didn't then I started to notice you more than usual, things normally people wouldn't notice, you act more like a woman than a man, then you're pretty face, it's just too pretty for a man and you're cap, you always wear it to hide your hair. I somehow connect the dots and concluded you are a woman, a beautiful one."
"Did you tell anyone else?" Astha asked.
He grinned and replied "Don't worry, I wouldn't tell anyone."
"Thank you. I don't want anyone to know."
"So tell me why?"
Astha groaned, lies and more lies.
"I don't want men attention, that's all." She replied, it is the truth, she hoped it will satisfy him and not ask more.
He chuckled and said "Perfectly understand you for that, beautiful woman like you can make a man feel something he doesn't want, just like I'm feeling to kiss you, will you mind?"
Astha went still, she hadn't expected that, kiss him? She never thought about him intimately, yes he turned out to be a great friend but intimacy? She can't kiss him, what will she say to him that wouldn't hurt him.
"Even if she doesn't I would mind, will probably kill you for even suggesting." They heard a deep, menacing voice close to them, as if he is standing behind them. Both of them turned around to find Shlok shooting daggers at Abhay, looking dangerous enough to kill a person.
"C-C-C-Captain!" Abhay said nervously.
"Stay away from her, if you love your face. You are not to talk with her much less look at her in that way because you don't know what I'll do to you. Do as you're told or you'll lose the will to live." Shlok said menacingly.
"A-A-Aye, Captain! I wouldn't come near her, I wouldn't even look at her. I didn't know she was yours, if I had kn--"
"I'm not his!" Astha shouted. Shlok scowled at her, she shut her mouth instantly, better not anger him more.
"She is my friend, I don't want anyone harming her, you understand?"
"Perfectly understood, Captain!"
"Now go down to your cabin and sleep, I'll watch out for tonight."
"Aye Captain."Abhay said and turned to leave. He was about to get off when he heard Shlok again.
"No one is to know about her disguise, if I catch any buzz about it, you know where the blame will go."
Abhay went still, he replied "I swear, I'll tell no one."
"Ok. Now leave."
Abhay nodded and went down, leaving Astha and Shlok alone. Astha couldn't believe how dangerous he look when he's furious, she shivered inwardly. He was glaring at her, looking every bit angry, his lips tight, his dark brown eyes burning with anger, his stance still. His silence was making her nervous, she wondered what he's thinking.
"I'm waiting." He said.
"Waiting for what?"
"Explaining yourself. Why didn't you tell me you were going with Abhay for a watch tonight? I searched the whole ship for you!"
"Why should I tell you? Why do you care?"
"Of course I care--"
"You don't!" She said angrily and stabbed a finger on his chest.
"Ever since that night, you stopped talking to me! You start ignoring me! You treat me as if I don't exist! You give orders and then that's it! You no longer look at me or say anything! And it's your bloody fault on why Abhay discovered my disguise, if you hadn't ignored me every single day, I wouldn't have been with Abhay! It's all your fault!" She replied furiously, still stabbing her finger on his chest.
He burst into laughter, Astha gave him a baffled look, then he slid his arm against her waist and crushed her onto his chest.
"So you missed me?"
"I..I never said that!"
"But that's what you implied in your endearing scolding." He replied as he gently caressed her cheek.
He softly rubbed his thumb on her lips, she closed her eyes as she gripped his shirt.
"You don't want me yet you want my attention. You don't want me yet you want me to talk to you. You don't want me yet you want me to care for you. You don't want me yet you crave for me." He said in a husky murmur as he traced her neck with his lips.
He brushed his lips against her, softly nibbling them then delved his tongue deep inside her mouth. She slid her fingers on his hair as she pulled him closer, how much she missed him and his body, though she wouldn't admit it to him. She still want him, that hasn't changed but now she wants more from him, she want his attention, affection and care.
Suddenly, he released her lips and pushed her, she tumbled back but he instantly grabbed her.
"I..I'm sorry. Are you hurt, honey?"
She looked up at him confused at his sudden action and shook her head as an answer. He was walking back and forth now, like a man in rage.
"Look I'm sorry, I promised you that I won't touch you unless you ask me. I will keep my promise, you have my word on it. And honey, don't you ever say I don't care about you, I do Astha. I still want you. The reason I ignore you is because I can't keep my hands off you, I only need look at you and I want you. I'm a human not a stone or saint, you get the drift?" Shlok said gently.
Astha chuckled and nodded, why didn't she thought of that instead of accusing him.
"Can I stay here with you, Captain? I'm afraid being alone in your cabin."
"Sure, it would be a great honor for me, but where will you sleep, the floor is hard, I can't bear torture on your sweet body, ah I have an idea! Come here!"
He sat on the wooden floor and pulled her on his lap and placed her head on his chest.
"What about you? I can't---"
"Ssshhh, I'm used to hard floors. Now sleep, honey, we have big day tomorrow. "He said while caressing her head. A lump formed in her throat, she had never met any man like him aside from her family. Even though he is a rake, he is very nice guy, so gentle and respectful, he understand her, prioritize her wishes rather than his own, she can't help but fell for him.
Anupamaa
Udne Ki Aasha
