FF: The Beautiful and the Condemned (Completed) - Page 31

Two days had gone by since Tejawat had given the order. In those two days, Rudra maintained his distance from Parvati. Ever since he had woken up that evening and found himself asleep on her lap, he wasn't sure how to face her. It took him a day to recall everything he had said to her in his drunken stupor. Ever since, Rudra stayed away.

He hadn't tried to kill her after that day because he wasn't able to. And he knew that he would never be able to. If Parvati died, he knew the ground would be pulled out from under him. He had even said something like that to Paro in his intoxicated state. He wondered what she thought of him now. He had said some cruel things to her, and although he remembered saying it he didn't mean it, he felt that a part of her did believe those distasteful words. Rudra couldn't face her because if he did, he would have to confront those feelings that were developing for Parvati, feelings that he didn't understand or accept yet.

Rudra knew that Tejawat would call him sooner or later to know if he had disposed of Paro. He couldn't lie to his thakur-sa, nor could he go against his orders. But he couldn't kill Paro either. Rudra didn't know what to do. He was so confused. How could he choose between the two people that had saved him?

This conflict had given him sleepless nights. He would pace around his home, trying to think of possible scenarios where he would be able to please both parties, but nothing would come to mind. It was as if his entire thought processes froze when it came to Paro and Tejawat. The third day had come and gone, and Rudra was no closer to an answer than he was when he received the order. It was late at night and he was laying on his bed after tossing and turning endlessly, trying to get the sleep he had been deprived of for the last three days. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. Rudra walked to his entry door and opened it. No one was there. Had he been hearing things?

Then the knocking sound happened again. Only this time, he knew where it was coming from. Rudra shut the door behind him and opened the cellar door, which was already unlocked. There, standing on the staircase steps, was Parvati. She was dressed in a white, cotton ghaghra choli with a red dupatta.

"Paro?" he said questioningly. "What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?"

"And you're still awake?" she answered calmly.

He turned, "I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I."

As Parvati exited the cellar, she saw the distressed look on Rudra's face. In the last few days he had reopened the distance between them. It was difficult to handle, especially after she had just realized her feelings for him, but she knew there must be a reason for his behavior. Something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell her. Parvati thought that he would at least tell her of all people, but then again, he was Rudra. But that wouldn't stop her from trying to get through to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

He looked at her confused, "Excuse me?"

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

The firmness in her voice took him back a little. He should've known better than to lie to her. After all, Parvati did have this ability to read him like an open book.

He sighed and shook his head, "It's nothing."

Parvati could sense the restraint in his voice. She put a hand on his shoulder and said, "I know something is bothering you. It's not nothing. It's something...something big. I can see it in your eyes. They're clouded by...I don't know what exactly. But you're hurting. And I don't like seeing you hurt, Rudra. If there's any way I can get rid of your pain then tell me. I'll do it."

Rudra took a moment to stare at Parvati. If only she knew that struggle he was going through. He told her a lot, but this was one thing he wasn't going to share. This was one burden he would have to deal with alone. However, he realized that he couldn't show the hurt in front of Paro because whatever hurt him was now hurting her, and that was something he couldn't take. He took a deep breath and took her hand in his.

"Come," he said.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"To the roof. I need to think."

"Why are you taking me?"

"Because...because I don't want to be alone right now."

She not only heard, but felt the vulnerability in his words. It wasn't that he was forcing her to go. It was a request. A request that awaited an answer, with a fear of rejection. Parvati didn't move. She waited for Rudra to pull her. After a few seconds, he did. It had taken some effort to climb up on the roof, but when they did Parvati knew it was well worth it. Above them were thousands upon thousands of stars, glimmering and twinkling, lighting up the pitch black night. She had never seen such a breathtaking view in her life. Parvati laid back against the roof, taking in the beautiful image, trying to imprint it in her memory forever. Rudra laid on the roof next to her, watching Parvati as her eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. The smile, that had been missing for the passed three days, had finally reappeared, putting the little diamonds in the sky to shame.

A sense of calmness overcame him, and he felt himself smile. In that moment, Rudra forgot his troubles. He forgot about everything he was struggling with. Because right now, all that mattered was Parvati. His defenses, barriers, and walls came down. All that was important right now was that it was just them, alone, enjoying the silent starry night on the roof, forgetting about the rest of the world, even if it was just for that moment.

"This is so beautiful," Parvati said softly.

"Yes it is," he said while staring at her.

"Thank you for sharing this with me. I will never forget it. Not even when I..."

Her smile faded and she looked at Rudra, who was stiff upon remembering the harsh reality that he was desperately trying to forget. His smile, which made a guest appearance, disappeared. He looked away from Paro and back up at the sky. He put his hand under his head. No matter how hard he tried to forget, the truth would come smacking his face. Why was he being forced to kill the woman he-

"Rudra," Parvati said softly.

"Hm?" he said without looking at her.

"No matter what happens, I will always be with you."

He looked at her, shocked.

She gave a small smile and nodded, "Even after I die. I'll always be here for you. All you have to do is come up here and look up at the sky. That's where you will find me. I'll be the brightest star in the sky."

She cautiously made her next move. Parvati slowly wrapped her arms around his arm and rested her head against his shoulder, looking up at the sky. Rudra didn't pull away, nor did he say anything. So, she assumed he was okay with it and continued speaking.

In a more serious tone, Paro said, "You will never be alone, even after I'm gone. Even in your darkest times, I'll be that small, bright star, telling you that you're not alone, asking you to smile...even if it's just for a minute."

Rudra was using all his strength not to breakdown and tell her everything. He was still unable to fathom that she was so accepting of her death! She was even holding its hand...literally! He looked up at the stars in the sky painfully. He could never turn her into one. Did Paro really think he would ever be able to smile again if she was dead? She was the only reason for his smile! She was holding his hand, pulling him out of the darkness, and yet she was the one who was going to push him back in.

She had become his weakness. There was no point in denying it now. He cared about her. He felt a responsibility towards her. He felt that he needed to protect her, and that he was the only one who could protect her. She mattered to him; Parvati was the only thing that mattered to him. Rudra wished that they had met under different circumstances. Maybe things would've been different. He wanted her by his side, he needed it. Even now, having her next to him, looking at the stars, the world just seemed better. Without her, was there a real reason to see the goodness in everything?

Suddenly, something in Rudra's mind clicked. He had an idea. It was risky, but it may just be enough to work. Parvati would be safe, and Tejawat would be satisfied. And Rudra, well, he would at least know that everything would be okay. However, for this to happen, he would have to sacrifice everything. It didn't matter. He was ready to do so if it meant Parvati would be safe.

Rudra finally breached the silence, "Paro?"

"Hm?" she hummed.

"About what happened the other night...what I said...I didn't mean those things. I didn't want to hurt you. I just wasn't thinking. I wasn't-."

"Rudra, I know. I trust you, remember?"

He nodded and leaned his head against hers. Rudra and Parvati stayed on the roof the entire night. They watched the stars vanish as the streak of the orange sunrise came up from the horizon. Paro had fallen asleep, which resulted in Rudra having to carry her back down in his arms. Instead of taking her to the cellar, he laid her down on his bed and covered her with his blanket. She deserved a few hours of sleep. Rudra, on the other hand, needed to put his plan into action. He quickly showered and changed before exiting the house. He needed to get back before she woke up.

Parvati woke to the sound of someone rummaging through drawers. She slowly opened her eyes. The bright light came as a surprise to her. It was then she realized that she wasn't in the cellar, but in Rudra's bed. She vaguely remembered him carrying her. Paro sat up and saw him walking around, stuffing things in a small, black, duffle bag. She ran her fingers through her hair.

"Rudra what are you-," she began.

He interrupted her, "Get up and change. Now."

"What?"

"Just do as I say, Paro."

He tossed her a pair of clothes. Paro got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom, but not before noticing Rudra's tense disposition. He hadn't even made eye contact with her once. He was too busy going through his cupboard. She wondered what was wrong, but decided to question him after she did what he had asked. Parvati came out dressed in a navy blue ghagra, pink choli, and blue dupatta. She was just about to braid her hair when Rudra marched up to her, staring at her seriously. She glanced at the duffle bag in his hand.

"Are we going somewhere?" she asked.

"No," he said. "We are not going anywhere. You are."

"What?"

He pulled out a small paper from his back pocket and put it in her hand, "Your train ticket. You're leaving for Mumbai. Today."

Paro felt the air being vacuumed out of her lungs, "W...what?"

"You're leaving for Mumbai. Today. Right now."

"What? No!"

"You don't have a choice."

"Why? Why are you sending me away?"

Rudra looked at the curiously painful question in her eyes. He would've melted, but knew that right now, he had to be strong. This wasn't the time for him to be weak.

"Thakur-sa has given me the order to kill you," Rudra answered frankly.

She gasped.

"Now, stop standing there and come with me. The train leaves in an hour."

"Why didn't you just follow orders and kill me?"

Rudra took a good look at her before grabbing her hand and taking her with him, out of his home and out of his life. He ignored her question because he didn't know how to respond to it. He could tell her that he wasn't able to kill her, but then she would want a reason why, and that was something he didn't have. He led her to the motorcycle, where they both got on a drove to the station, which wasn't too far away. When they arrived, he parked the bike and pulled her off. Rudra walked into the train station, holding Paro's hand in his, and in the other hand was the black duffle bag. He hadn't looked at her once since they arrived. He quietly, and rather roughly, led her to her train.

They arrived at the train, and Rudra was about to pull her in when Parvati yanked her hand back. He turned around. She stood there on the platform, staring back at him angrily. In order to prevent a scene he moved closer to her.

"Stop this childishness," he ordered. "The train is going to leave in ten minutes."

"No," she retorted. "Not until you answer my question."

He pulled her hand forward and put the bag in her hand, "Here. All your clothes are in here along with money. It's enough for you to get a place in Mumbai, get some clothes, and live in Mumbai for a good while. You can do whatever you want, just don't come back here. Ever."

Furious, Parvati slammed the bag back against his chest, causing him to stumble back. He was completely taken aback by what she had done. She didn't care. She was falling apart. How could he just tell her to leave? Just like that? How could she leave him...the one she loved? She'd rather die. Could he not see that? Did he not understand, after everything?

"What the-," he said angrily.

"If you're so interested in Mumbai then you go!" she retorted.

"Have you lost your mind? Just shut up, stop arguing, and get in the train!"

"No!"

"Did you not hear what I said? Thakur-sa has given me the order."

"Why didn't you just kill me then?"

"Just shut up!"

"No Rudra! You're going to answer my question! Now!"

Rudra groaned angrily. His anger was rising quickly, and the string holding his rage in check was slowly tearing apart. Didn't she understand by now why he couldn't kill her?

"Why Rudra? Why didn't you just do what Tejawat ordered?" Paro asked.

He clenched his fists.

"I deserve an answer! Why!"

The string snapped, "Because I couldn't!"

Parvati calmed, "What?"

"I couldn't kill you! I couldn't follow thakur-sa's order! There! Happy?"

"But...why couldn't you?"

"Because I can't hurt you! It will hurt me! I can't even think about hurting you without feeling some sort of pain! Killing you is the farthest thing from my mind!"

Tears formed in Paro's eyes.

Rudra calmed down, "I need to keep you safe, and sending you away is the best way I know how to. Thakur-sa won't find you. I can convince him you're dead. No one will come searching for you. You can't come back here, Paro. Never. There's nothing left for you here anyways."

"What if I don't want to go?"

His eyes softened looking at her tear-filled, questioning ones. She didn't want to go. Parvati didn't want to leave...she didn't want to leave him. Did that mean she felt something happening between them too? She feels something for him. He wanted to know. He was ready to search every crevice of her heart...and his...to find the answer. But he couldn't. Rudra was already attached, and couldn't afford to get any closer. Her life was in danger, and he needed her to be safe. As much as he wanted her by his side, he knew he had to let her go so she could be safe. He needed that assurance that her life wasn't at risk, even if it meant losing the one person that mattered to him. It was his fault for caring about her, and now Rudra would have to pay the price. He would have to make this sacrifice.

He moved closer so they were only inches apart. Rudra gently placed the bag back in her hand. He then caressed her cheek gently, knowing this would be the last time he would see her. His heartbeat was slowing down, knowing that the time of separation was coming.

"You have to go, Paro," Rudra said softly. "And never come back."

"But-," she began.

"Sshh. No buts. It's final. I need you safe, and the only way you will be is if you go far away from here. Away from me."

His hand slide from her cheek down to her empty hand. Rudra guided her into the train, where he placed her in a seat. She watched his every move, refusing to look away. He looked at her one last time, drinking in her appearance, before turning away and exiting the train. Rudra stood on the platform as the departure horn rang. His heartbeat halted altogether as the train slowly began leaving. The sound of the wheels clanking on the metal tracks began fading away. His fists clenched by his sides as his watery gaze was fixed on Paro's train until it was out of sight. She was gone. Rudra wished it didn't have to be this way, but there was no other option. At least she would be safe, he thought. And that was all that mattered. Rudra blinked the tears in his eyes away, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the station, his eyes staring at the platform under his feet.

If only he could understand the game Fate was playing. If only he understood the fact that some things are meant to be no matter how hard someone tries to deny it. If only he had stayed long enough to hear the distant sound of familiar anklets chiming. If only he was in his senses, so he could feel that his heart was, in fact, beating properly, if not, faster than normal. If only he had looked back for a second. That was all it would've taken for those strong, molten brown eyes to catch a glimpse of the figure in blue and pink staring at him. If only Rudra had just looked up.

Because if he had Rudra would've seen, standing on the platform on the other side of the station directly across from him, with the black bag in her hand, was Paro.

**********

You didn't honestly think Paro would just leave after realizing her feelings did you? I'd really love to hear what you think. Leave your comments and feedback below!

The next update is going to be the best one! Parud confrontation and the return of the jallad! This is something you don't want to miss! Most likely will update Monday!

Thanks for reading!