FF: Forever and Always........Updated link to Thread 2 - Page 72

PART 18

Geet ran out without looking back. She could not decide which the greater emotion behind her tears was; the pain that it wasn't Armaan after all or the guilt that it was Maan.

It was soon going to make her vision blurred with the amount of tears streaming down her eyes. She ran out of the hotel gates living a stunned security and crossed the road to get near the sea. The nature which had always provided her with solace today hopefully will do the same for her again...

Geet found that it was almost full. It was just 11 pm; Mumbai is still very much awake. Desperately looking for solace she needed she started walking aimlessly. Her vision was getting blurred with tears but thankfully nobody asked.

She had been just going a little away from the hotel when the deep baritone of Maan halted her," You won't be finding any place less crowded here, right now."

Geet turned back slowly to watch Maan standing behind her. His dinner jacket was on his hand and his hairs were disheveled a bit. But she couldn't watch him anymore as the guilt overpowered her and she lowered down her eyes.

Maan came nearer to her. He knew he was hurt but she looked much more in need of a solace than him. Making sure he used his calmest most soothing tone Maan said," I can take you to a place that will give you the much needed privacy. It is not near to the sea but it can help you. Do you want to come?"

Geet's first response to the idea was to shout a big no but then looking into his eyes it was difficult. She slowly nodded looking like a defeated person.

Maan came and asked her to follow him. While moving he called up Dev:

Maan:" Hello Dev!"

Dev:" Hey Bro!! Where are you? And where is Geet?"

Maan paused for a minute and watched Geet. She was not in a condition to even to talk let alone answer questions. Making up his mind Maan said softly," Dev, Geet is with me. For some reason she is not feeling well so I am taking her with me. This also means you will have to handle the party. Ask Naina not to return Hostel tonight as it is off for her anyway and bring her back to mansion. Also bring Parineeta otherwise she will be stranded at night."

Dev:" Everything is fine right bro?"

Maan:" Yeah Dev. I will handle Geet. Don't worry."

Maan saw that Geet was standing like a lifeless being watching him talk. Holding her softly he said," geet come on, let's go."

Geet went with him and sat on the passenger seat of his car. She stared outside. She had wronged Maan in a way which was too wrong. She loves Armaan alone and the way she danced, the way she said she loves him...to Maan was wrong both on Armaan and Maan.

Geet was totally lost in her own grief when Maan finally stopped the car. It was a beautiful Mansion but what attracted her most was the swing placed in the lawn which was surrounded by a canopy of flower.

Geet turned to Maan and uttered the first words after her so called proclamation of love," Where are you Maan?"

Maan smiled softly and said," This is my house."

Geet:" But..."

Maan:" I couldn't have let you be alone Geet. It seemed wrong."

That was it. Geet's controlled slipped and she shouted at the top of her voice," No it's not. You should have let me be out there suffering. Because you know what is wrong? Wrong is what I did to you tonight. Wrong is what I did to him..."

Geet started crying bitterly. It was painful. Maan had thought she won't be talking to him anymore. But watching her so broken did something to him.

Maan held her and hugged her back trying to provide her with little solace. He said softly," I know what you said was not for me. But do you want to talk about the person for whom it was?"

Geet broke the hug and looked at him incredulously. She asked softly, "How do you know about that?"

Maan sighed. Then he said without trying to let his emotions show. " Geet you did tell me you like someone else and halfway through your dance I saw that you were in some trance. I guessed you were lost in some memory or something."

Geet lowered her eyes. She had wronged him no matter what he says. Maan softly took her hands and took her near the swing. It was a beautiful place covered by a canopy and surrounded by flowers.

He made her seat on the swing and said softly," Geet this is my house. You are entirely safe here and I am sure this place will give you the serenity you are looking for. Do you want to stay alone?"

Maan watched but she did not reply. Assuming that he was not needed, Maan said softly," I will go now. Stay here as long as you want. This is perfectly safe place. When you want to rest just give me a call and I will come and get you."

As he was about to go she held his hand by his wrist and said," Maan, will you stay?"

Maan:" only if you want me to."

Geet:" Stay."

Maan silently sat beside her. Silence engulfed them and they both did not know how to start talking. Taking a deep breath Maan posed his first question,

Maan: "So Geet you want to talk about it?"

Geet:" About what?"

Maan:" About tonight."

Geet:" I don't know. It's really ...really painful."

Maan:" Hmm."

Geet:" I don't mean I don't want to share. I mean I don't know how to share."

Maan:" You said once that you will share about him when we have time and nowhere to run. I feel we have that kind of time today. So will you share?"

Geet paused. Then she watched. His chocolate brown held her with respect. He did not seem like prying, he genuinely wanted her to share.

Geet:" Are you sure? It's a long story."

Maan:" I am. "

Geet said in a soft tone," I have been a loner. I come from a broken family. My parents are divorced. I was with my dad while my brother Tejinder was with my mom. Dad had married the second time and I was dropped off to this private school in Mussoorie . I was a loner angry at everyone in the world. You could actually say that I was a bitch and it was just grade 3. I don't know what would have happened if I did not meet y friends. I would have been lost being a spoilt brat. But I did not because I met him. He was there right in front of me. One guy I hated to sit with in class because he was fun loving, happy, jolly, loving and caring. Watching him be something which I always wanted to be was hurting Maan. But then we started picking up fights. Trust me Maan we fought like married couples always being sarcastic and that too just in Grade three."

Maan started watching her. She looked to be in pain when she spoke about her parents. It pained me to know that a girl of 9, hardly 10 had no real family to hold on to. Yet beneath her disgust there was pain. She missed having family. When she spoke about her friend there was an amalgam of emotions shown on her face. She was happy being in the memories, there was love but there was pain too. The pin was something I could not relate to

Geet continued," However one day everything changed. We both were fighting hard on the ground and I kind of punched him hard breaking his nose. He was bleeding and bleeding and I could see him gasping for breath. It was then that one sinking moment I realized I care for that idiot. I ran and ran bringing out sidhdharth, a friend. We both together took him to hospital wing and that was the start of the most amazing friendship. We would laugh together, hang out and get into trouble together. I was always the one talking and chirping about anything in the world. He was the bond tying all the five making us the famous five. I would turn to him for anything and everything. He was truly my friend, philosopher and guide. Then it was all smooth until we were in eighth standard. He had a family emergency. Something to do with finance and he said he could not afford to be in the school. Not when our fees were so high. I suddenly realized at that time, in that one moment that I love him and I cannot stay without him. I still remember how I had talked with his father first time that day."

Armaan had given me a shock that he might not be in the school next year. We were almost approaching the finals. Just three more months with him. It felt wrong.

I had been like this from the time I knew about it. I watched Armaan playing basketball with Sid. None of the others knew about it. Suddenly I heard Armaan's phone ring.

It was coming Dad calling.'

I could have called up Armaan but I needed to talk.. Picking up I sid tentatively,

Geet:" He..hello"

Armaan's Dad:" Hello, umm Armaan's there?"

Geet:" Hello uncle, I am Armaan's friend. Armaan is in the basketball ground."

AD: "ok, tell him I will call later."

Geet:" Umm uncle, I will. Actually I wanted to tell you something. Ask you something really?"

AD:" Hmm."

Geet:" Are you going to stop Armaan from coming to school? Are you going to take him away? Please don't do that. He is such a bright student and he loves it here plus change in school is always difficult to cope up with...

AD:" Are these the only reasons you want him to stay?"

Geet:" He is my best friend. He is my only family..."

AD:" Hmm."

Armaan's dad had cut the call. She just said Armaan afterwards that he had got a call from home. A few days later Armaan told that he is indeed continuing his schooling with them.

Geet continued even when tears were sliding down her eyes. "You know Maan now that I am reminded of that moment it was like we were destined to be separated. I was just trying to avoid the inevitable. I was with him. But I kept falling for him. Crush turned into love but I could never voice it. After all I was an introvert when it came to my own emotions. But he understood. And just like that in the annual function for class twelfth he proposed me. I could not have done that. That was the best night of my life you know Maan. I can live a thousand years and still could not have felt happier than being in his arms for the first time. That night we had turned from being best friends to lovers. After twelfth due to a happy coincidence the entire gang ended up being in the same engineering college though we were all in different branches."

Maan noticed the way Geet talked about the certain him. She looked so happy, so much in love yet the pain in her voice broke his heart. He nudged Geet softly," So what went wrong Geet? If you both were truly so much in love as you say then why is he not here with you Geet?"

Geet closed her eyes even as tears sipped out. She softly continued," He was chosen as one of the students participating for inter-college competition. It was supposed to be a three days fest in Bangalore. But the three days never ended. I was right there at the airport talking to him, bidding him good bye. He was there telling me not to miss him too much since he is always there. But who knew that will be the last time I will ever see him? He boarded the flight and I left for my hostel but I got to know that my life was ruined before it even started. He left forever. "

Her voice was chocking over tears as she could not control and let out a heart breaking sob. Maan did not know what to do but pulled her into his arms. It was after some time that she stopped sobbing a little to tell the last few lines," His flight crushed. Nobody survived. You know all the passengers had been so badly burnt that the bodies were unrecognizable. I went there. My friends took me to the site when I insisted. But watching all those people dead and so badly burnt I lost my consciousness. I was awake after a whole week. His last rites had been performed already by his family while my friends were busy hoping I would pull through. I did live. Unfortunately I did live even when I was shattered within. But Geet Handa died that day and she can never be alive again..."

Geet hugged Maan tightly digging her nails near his lips while she shook and sobbed uncontrollably. Maan patted her back but let her cry. There was a high chance she had never really cried. Maybe recounting all the old memories had made her face her wounds.

But letting his love cry was causing him pain. After few moments he softly pulled her away and made her face him. Then he wipes away her tears and said softly," Geet Handa is not dead. I know how painful it is to lose the ones you love. I have lost some too. "

Geet:" Why couldn't I be with him in that damn flight?"

There, Geet gave words to the feeling she had been hiding all these words. She wished she was in that flight burned alive. It was painful but not more than what she is bearing for all these years.

Maan knew giving her the words of consolation won't help. They never do. Healing is a process that comes from within, not by hearing preaching.

He said calmly," I am sure you are alive for a reason and someday you will realize and thank God for keeping you alive even when all you wanted was death."

Wiping her tears he saw the time. It was almost 1.30 Am. He made her stand and said," Let's get you to your room so you can have a sleep. It had been a long day indeed."

Geet:" Hostel gates are closed. It's past midnight I guess."

Maan:" Yes. That is the very reason you three will be staying here for tonight. Dev's bringing Parineeta and Naina. So come."

Geet simply nodded while he slowly led her inside the Khurana mansion and showed her one of the many guestrooms. Wishing her Goodnight Maan proceeded towards his own room.

Hearing Geet's story had changed his perspective a bit. After years he is having the urge to forgive himself. Maybe what Dev said was right. Maybe he really couldn't have changed his past. Sometimes some things are just fate.

He took his diary and after years started writing. Maybe he was not the only suffering soul...maybe people has had worse and are still surviving...It was time to accept the reality so he can start healing as well...