Originally posted by: aamir18
In my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman doing whatever she wants to do. Enjoying sex or dancing for money or anything of this nature doesn't imply the absence of self respect... at least the way I perceive it. Circumstances, emotions, past commitments, family... they all play a role in what we are and what we do, and they are hardly considered when we form opinions about the people around us.
Again, I think Laila's actions adhere to society's patriarchal and stereotypical view of "cheap" women, but I do not think it is proper to deem Laila responsible for this. In fact, I think you're saying the same thing indirectly. A "naachnewali" is deemed to be a prostitute, when her profession is actually that of dance --- take it from a woman who has learned Kathak for 13 years and been constantly degraded because of her "vulgar" association with it. It's societal limitations that enforce women to believe they must behave under rigid, constricting guidelines--- don't have sex, don't wear revealing clothes, don't talk to strangers, don't dance-- the guidelines are the ones at fault, not the women who do not follow them.
Now, I agree that respect is earned. But I don't think it has to do with sexual relations and dancing. In that aspect, I don't think Laila deserves all the heat she receives. Yes, the dislike based on her selfishness, her attempts at murder and her idiocy is TOTALLY justified, but to hate her for anything else seems a bit strange to me.
Overall, I don't think the basis of Laila's antagonism should be based on how she refuses to be contained by society, but by her evidently compulsive and destructive personality.
Respect your opinion as well. Agree to disagree. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
(P.S After reading your next post, I realize where the difference of opinion stems from. I simply don't believe that our actions should place us in the rungs of a social ladder. And I don't accredit the fact that one exists to the women who are placed in it, but to the society that builds it.)
Thank you again for this post! It was really interesting to read your POV! 😃
Best,
Zee
But is a woman doing what she wants to do when she is subconsciously forced to succumb to patriarchal cultural values? Or is she simply a victim of patriarchy? Of course circumstances, emotions, past commitments, family, all of that plays a role in our actions, but when we let all of that dictate our choices/decisions in life how responsible or irresponsible are we for our choices/actions?
Hmm you're right, she is not responsible depending on some perspectives, and some perspectives will consider her responsible...so yes society's gender roles and guidelines are responsible for forcing women to behave a certain way, but no matter what society we go to there will always be specific gender roles and guidelines that people are identified with, so how will anyone ever decide what is right and what is wrong? I guess the answer is no one will. It's all about perspective.
Oh I'm sorry if I implied that Laila should be judged harshly because of her profession! Not at all! Laila's actions and decisions reflect her negative personality, not her profession! Her profession in no way dictates the kind of person she is. I was examining how sexual relations and dancing in a very conservative society can contribute to a person's mental reasoning and social conditioning.
I am really sorry if I have offended you in any way!
Thank you for the discussion.
P.S. I don't think our actions should determine where we stand on the social ladder but I think that unfortunately the reality is that society gives us a spot on the social ladder and often we cannot do anything about it - because society is dominant and seeks to control the masses.
Thank you for taking the time to provide your POV, it's wonderful and eye-opening to try to understand and see things from multiple perspectives. So thank you for that 😊
Edited by Zeeliciousxo - 11 years ago