Tough to watch--yet can't ignore the message it might want to show - Page 2

Here urmi is young educated ,bold and most importantly believes in women power and justice to them.its like even now urmi doesnt know who is samrat ,what he is doing or he is evil or not. everytime hes screaming shes shocked like seeing for the first time .

For me its hightime she is to react and make her space .otherwise show will be like the real life of a lot of women who were suffering but not reacting and its going on and on.

they should show her fighting back .that will be a better message .

and dont make her super woman

I don't blame Urmi for not being able to get out of the marriage. To her credit, she did try to convince her family not to send her back to Samrat and was even prepared for an abortion (which must be the hardest decision a woman ever has to make). But she was emotionally blackmailed by her regressive father and grandmother and forced to return to Samrat. Now if she does leave, she runs the risk of losing custody of her child. Also, educated or otherwise, a divorced woman is still looked down in the kind of society that Urmi seems to live in. So its not an easy decision for Urmi to leave.

People who can help Urmi are Urmi's in-laws. Her father in-law and sis-in-law always sympathize with her, but do nothing about it. Kanchan is probably the only one that at least speaks up occasionally.

I know there are many posts on this forum about the show and the message etc - I wanted to share my thoughts on this. Please understand that my intent is not to offend anyone - just conveying my thoughts on the matter.

Here goes -

1) The show is sending a social message

-This was one of the main points that other forum members were defending or promoting. I completely agree that this is a show with a message - what that message actually is - is what is up for debate.

If the message of the show is to show two people with completely different view points on marriage or what each partner's role/expectation is - then Samrat being the disgusting character that we see today was completely unnecessary. This could have been done on a lighter note showing how 2 people with different views bound in matrimony work through their differences - either growing into each other or growing apart - both are completely acceptable outcomes. Clearly DAK did not go that route.

If the message of the show is to high light domestic violence and the various shades of it - emotional, verbal and physical - yes DAK succeeds there. Which brings me to point number 2.

2) Highlighting the plight of countless women suffering abuse on a daily basis

So we have established that DAK is showing a story of domestic abuse. You can't depict a problem with out proposing a solution - that's counter intuitive and pointless.

In this show - I'm not sure what exactly they are trying to convey. We all can see that Urmi is suffering domestic violence - if the intent was to show how countless women suffer this plight with out understanding or recognizing what they are being subject too - then I could understand or justify her doormat nature. I'd also be open to understanding how at that point she would need someone to hand hold her and fight her battles aka Tauji's involvement. Here also I see a problem - Urmi clearly understands what is and is not correct - she recognizes the wrong doings of outsiders and her husband but is unable to speak up for herself at home. This I can't understand. Clearly she has brains and she identifies what is wrong but she keeps quiet when it comes to fighting for herself and her self-respect/identity/peace of mind.

The other angle is they want to show domestic violence that women suffer (clearly to an extreme on this show) and show a women (as a point of inspiration to others suffering the same plight) where she roars like a tigress and fights back. Stands up to all the injustices and after quietly suffering for *some* time (not as long as they have shown on this show) fights back - walks out if she has too regardless of what society and family have to say.

This also brings me to another side note that I wanted to speak too - Urmi's Bhabhi - Rashmi - she ran off to pursue her modeling/acting glamour dreams - no idea what happened there after but if she had the guts to do that - Why can't Urmi open her mouth to stand up for herself? Urmi's father wanted Urmi to give him Poison when she was adamant on not going back to Samrat - why because it was an embarrassment that his daughter's marriage failed - but his daughter in law running off is no big deal?! Such double standards!

I did make a post earlier about Urmi's options when she was at her parents house post the holi-thappar - so I won't repeat myself but clearly Urmi made a choice and she is suffering the repercussions of that choice at this point.

3) Son slapping/tapping mother Message

I've seen a lot of dialogue on forms about this and here are my thoughts. It is NEVER ok to encourage a child to disrespect an elder especially their mother. I don't care how much the DAK team explained to the child actor that this is wrong or how much we as viewers rehash how wrong that is - as a prime time television product - the production house (i would hope) has some accountability and moral/social responsibility - this really should have been censored. Yes I know other shows have also shown MANY things that are morally/socially unacceptable etc but we're not talking about those shows here.

Are CVs trying to show how low one can go - well congratulations CVs - you've hit an all time low with this. Are CVs trying to show how bad things have to get before one reacts and fights back?

I don't have answers to that but I do know - that this is a serious insult to the sensibilities of us viewers. If you want to portray a show with a social message - stick to it and show resolution quicker otherwise its defeating the purpose - who wants to watch a show where the good heroine gets put down constantly and doesn't fight back - the essence of the message would be in the journey of fighting back.

My advice to CVs - please figure out what message you are trying to send and flesh it out properly and handle it with sensitivity. Viewership is not limited to parts of India - this show is reaching countless families abroad - just imagine what impression this creates on second/third generation Indians in other countries - children whose parents or grand-parents migrated from India - if they watch this with their family - I can see how it would a) deter them from going to India b) deter the girls from marrying Indian men. I know that's taking this discussion to a whole other level but these are not far fetched - this is a possibility.

Thanks for reading and hopefully no one was offended.