Understanding Paro's Frame of Mind - Not at all a Despo

Oyster thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
"No man's vision lends its wings to another man" - Khalil Gibran

Seriously tired of reading posts on bashing Paro's desperation without discussing the reason behind it.

First thing first, Paro is NOT Sanaya Irani. Since we all live in urban cities and lead a modern life, we judge Paro's behavior accordingly. That's wrong. Paro's a village girl whose life revolves around her dreams and the biggest dream she has woven wholeheartedly is finding her love in life. While we have no time to dream, Paro's a girl who spent her days dreaming about that prince who shall one day come and claim her. Imagine wen u have no school, no technology, no glitter in life but just that preoccupation with nurturing one hope, dream, and desire.
And recently that dream of Paro manifested itself in the form of Rudra. How can she let him go without betting her life on him?! We have difficulty understanding because our vision is limited to the phenomenal world. We did not see Rudra making any promises or expressing love towards Paro so we think Paro's going overboard for no reason. But Paro has surrendered herself to Rudra after all that she experienced in the nonphenomenal realm. She believes in divine signs more than the ongoings of the physical world. And so she has every reason to believe that Rudra and Paro are meant for eachother. They are destined to be together. Imagine when the realization dawned upon her that Rudra is the person she had always dreamed about much before meeting him in the physical world. When she learned that Rudra stands as her shield in his presence and in his absence. When she finds out that they shared a moment when they were most vulnerable early in their childhood. Finding the doll just when she pleads for divine intervention to clarify her intrinsic confusions. All of these sign are as important to Paro as finding guns with the baraati was to Rudra. I find it simply beautiful as piece of fiction.

On the other hand, Rudra's vision is limited to the physical world like ours so he sees no significance in Paro's firmly held beliefs because they are nothing but mere coincidence. Btw didn't Rudra impose himself on Paro when he believed that she was putting her life in danger?! The difference is that he had physical signs n Paro has spiritual signs to substantiate their respective claims.

This dichotomy reminds me of an analogy. we have the spiritual believers called Sufis and the traditional orthodox scholars. These two groups have unresolved debates for centuries. After studying their arguments I realized that the primary problem is the fact that the Sufis believe in spiritual signs that the orthodox scholars have always rejected because they mainly go for textbook knowledge. So it's like you don't see what I see and hence we disagree.

In reading literature, we were taught to understand a character's mindset before judging the character else everything would seem so out of place. It's even worse when u use your own mindset to judge a character's behavior that comes from a totally different background. And so I think Paro's "desperation" is in sync with her character.

One last word. How on earth can we compare Laila to Paro?! Laila has shared physical intimacy with Rudra while Paro invokes a spiritual bond. Paro was never physically attracted to Rudra. To her they were made a pair sitaaron ki jahan mein. Laila has not experienced anything of what Paro cites as evidence. We have seen Laila getting frustrated when Rudra doesn't respond to her physical advances but we will never see Paro make any such attempt to prove her love. I don't intend to demean Laila but I m just showing the contrast in Paro's and Laila's understanding of love and the reason behind imposing themselves on Rudra.

In short, drop Rudra's binoculars and try to understand Paro using her own frame of mind.
Edited by Oyster - 11 years ago

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KushiKumarising thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#2
Well said.

I totally agree with you. That's who Paro is. She is not like any one of us. She is very special. CV's has moulded and etched her character so beautifully.

I simply love Paro now . People shouldn't say that she doesn't react. Paro couple of weeks ago when she didn't know anything about Thakur, she believed Thakur was innocent. She has to save her village. she did react and revolt against Rudra many times because at that time she had wrong opinion on Rudra. She called him Jallad. She was stubborn , she went to jhanki though she knows its dangerous, she burnt herself. She was adamant and stood strong in what she believed .

And now, this Paro who realized Rudra is her Rakshak and to her all things that has been happening between Rudra and Paro from childhood till now were written by Bholenath himself and the priest a the temple told her about Parvathi - how she won Shivji's Love . So, to Paro - Rudra is destiny. This is what she had been dreaming her whole life.

Paro knows it not easy to win Rudra but at the same time she knows it's not impossible too. Rudra is a tough nut to crack. But Paro being Paro will be adamant, strong and but this time she will not revolt . Because now she trusts him and she wants him to forgive her dil se. His anger definetly hurts her but she will not break down for such small tests. She will be calm .

But her soft nature, not reacting to him is driving Rudra crazy and lash at her.

I also think Rudra doesn't know what to do. I think he cares for her , otherwise he wouldn't come and tie her dori. Whenever his heart realizes Paro needs his help, his heart wins over his mind and he will do everything. But the next minute when he is back to his senses he thinks Paro is winning and Rudra is losing to this beautiful woman and this hurts his ego. Then he lashes at her, humiliates her so that he can make her leave him. But Paro will not leave. Remember Rudra's dialog, wo kisi bhi hadh thak ghir saktha hai.

I would feel bad if Paro leaves Rudra, just because he told her to leave and he humiliated her. She has to fight , prove her innocence and win Rudra

I think Rudra will be feeling very bad inside for telling Paro that she is shameless or characterless. Tomorrow when Rudra realizes his love for paro he will kneel down infront of Paro and will beg for her apology.

I simply love both Rudra and Paro as they are fighting for their self, own belief and eventually will fall for each other.

Suni thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
Very well said! I think what people need to understand is that they are not Paro and hence her actions and reactions will not be what their's would have been. Yes, we may not like some of what we are seeing but like you said, we are all urban, educated women where as she is a panchvi pass poor village girl. Her circumstances and needs are different and she will behave accordingly.

-UnknownSoul- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
Finally a much needed post!
You rock!! 👍🏼
squivi thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Thank you so much. You articulated everything worth saying about Paro's character so far. Some say it's butchered, others say desperate or no-self respect. As you yourself said, it's NOT about us and how we relate to her. "Drop the Rudra binoculars". Wonderful.
Oyster thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: squivi

Thank you so much. You articulated everything worth saying about Paro's character so far. Some say it's butchered, others say desperate or no-self respect. As you yourself said, it's NOT about us and how we relate to her. "Drop the Rudra binoculars". Wonderful.


And thank you for responding :). I don't understand why some of us fail to take the whole thing into perspective rather than judging one isolated scene. There were many instances when Paro showed that she has abundant self respect and confidence in herself. So how do we nullify those instances when we claim that now she is showing zero self respect? Character butchered?! Aray nahi year... In sharp disagreement I would say that Paro is very much into her character and it is quite well developed by the writers.
Edited by Oyster - 11 years ago
flamingoAK thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
You have explained it sooo well! 👏 I was so tired of all the negativity towards Paro. I kept saying they are literally playing the character they are supposed to be. Understanding a character is extremely important because if something happens in a show, there is a reason behind it. That is why the team is called a creative team, working creatively to entertain us with different things. Good job! 😊
Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Wonderful post. Lovely interpretation of Paro..

I said it so many times and I will love to say it again. Paro is Paro. We are not and cannot be her. It is simple, she acts the way she wants and we do things our way. We can't just say she has no self respect because she doesn't fit our dictionary of self respect. Her respect is to maintain her calm. To stand her ground. Not react unnecessarily. I love her. Love her character. She has no layers like all of us. She has no ego to stop her from speaking her mind. She has nothing to hide. She is what you see. But I am sure most of us are not. Simple example, we have secrets, she doesn't. That pureness and transparency is what confuses Rudra and what attracts him to her.

Comparing Paro and Laila is a BIG NO. They are two different people demanding two different type of relationships. For Laila Love is physical and outer feeling. For Paro it is divine, it is a tapasya, it is pure. Comparing those two equally opposite characters means you don't understand either of them.

If you really want to compare them then first ask this question. Why is Rudra attracted to Paro when she is reserved and not to Laila who is always ready to give him anything he wants? the answer to this question answers the difference between Laila and Paro.

The hurt Paro felt when Rudra called her besharam was very clearly etched in her eyes. That was more painful to watch for me than listening to his words. Because when you she her, you see innocence. Rudra sees that too but to keep his insecurities alive and running he keeps giving that innocence the name of deception and facade.

If it was me in place of Paro when Rudra spitted his venomous words. I would have shouted back with equal volume and said 'Go To Hell' Now that would mean we are reacting and saving our self respect. But that would make Rudra shout even more and spit even more venom. That is what he is good at. But Paro doesn't give him that chance and that irks him. Her calmness irritates him. Her silence frustrates him.

That doesn't mean she is taking what ever he is throwing at her. NO. She gives it back to him in her own way. Maybe not the in the same way as him, or in a way we want her to but in a way which is more effective in making Rudra shutup.

For us it is all meaning less coincidence and for her it is divine intervention to bring them together. Now she is hell bent on getting what according to her Bolenath and Paro is rightfully hers - Rudra.

He said, 'What you want will never happen. I will never be yours.' and she said, 'You have no say. Your yes or no doesn't matter. You are mine and I am yours.'
She said it as directly as he did.

They both think they are right in their places. Just like earlier during Thakur track. This is what happens when two strong and ziddi people come
face to face with different beliefs. I don't know about others but I am personally LOVING it. Just hope Rudra doesn't go overboard with his abuse and Paro with her tapasya. 😃

OMG! did I just write all this above stuff. Crap. RR is really heating up my head. 😆

by the way, Drop Rudra's binoculars. 😆 Loved it.


Edited by Hope - 11 years ago
Oyster thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Hope, now that's one elaborate, justified, and well-thought out reading of Paro. Awesomely written, Hope. I obviously agree with everything you have said. If I have a slight disagreement, it would be with Paro's understanding of Rudra calling her characterless. In don't think she was deeply hurt cuz she knew that Rudra didn't mean it at all. Just a moment before, Rudra was all set thrash Sumer for misbehaving with Paro. Had he really believed that her being characterless is even vaguely true, his blood wouldn't boil every time Sumer eyed her. So to me and I would say to Paro too it was just a baseless remark that had no meaning.
Btw you can call me Sonya, what should I call you?
Edited by Oyster - 11 years ago
trishaneelam thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#10
Well said.

I totally agree with you👍🏼

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