Vidya saw Radha smirking

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Mrs_Ojha

@Mrs_Ojha

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#31

Come on, Modi family is not healthy environment for the child to grow up. This is a world of abuse and constant bullying. Money is not everything in this world. When I have to choose with thom I want to live, with the parent who is rich but abusive or with the parent who is calm and of loving nature, but not so well-of, the choice seems obvious.

I don't understand why super-rich people should be given priority - the Modis are spoilt bunch of conformists who constantly bully and abuse those who they consider to be beneath them. They care more for keeping appearances and retaining their 'high' position in the society than to REALLY BE good people.

If I were Gopi I would do the same - what other choice was there? Do you think that Gopi should have stayed to deliver her daughter, leave her with the Modis and then go away alone (is woman only a breeding machine or what?) Or do you think Gopi should have stayed and stand the everlasting abuse? For whose sake? Not for Vidya - who would have seen how her mother is mistreated in this house since her birth - would that be good for her future growth and development? Wouldn't that teach her bad role models and affect badly her psychological development? Growing up only with Gopi but in PEACE was the best solution in my point of view.

Ahem was never a good husband, he always treated Gopi as a doormat. Unfortunately now they need to patch up for the sake of the child. Gopi must live in hell for the rest of her life.

Edited by Mrs_Ojha - 11 years ago

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#32

If Ahem's yardstick for parenting is Kokila and Urmila, then I rest my case...

One woman is so selfish that she wanted her daughter divorced for alimony... The other never forgave her daughter's rebellion and decided to marry her off to the first sod who came across. Yeah ahem is certainly in par with these two...😊

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#33

Nobody can say these women don't love their kids . They do . Urmila's tears when Rashi went missing were real . A parent is a human being and his or her flaws cannot be used as a yardstick to measure or judge the genuineness of love is my point , missed by many . Nobody is using them as a yardstick for Ahem , its the love in a parent that was pointed out . Ahem did not do half the things to Vidya that Urmila did alll her life to Rashi simply as he was not even there in Vidya's life as a parent . He has recently met her . All he has done is blast the mom in front of the kid .and he is a bad bad parent and his love is superficial . Whereas the only person capable of genuine love is the mom who did not even tell the kid she had a dad . It somehow doesn't jell ..So yeah , i rest my case too .😊

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 11 years ago

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
opinion about Ahem is a personal preference of character . Whether he is personally self righteous or mama's boy does NOT give a wife a right to hide kid for 8 years . Tell the court that . It is legal kidnap .

And civility as a yardstick to measure love for children ...civilty is really not possible with a spouse who did this . I have seen Rashi's civilty to Jigar in the divorce and Urmilaben's civilty to her husband that Rashi never bothers to check . And when Gopi decided to stand outside the gates and do a tamasha did she wonder how it will affect the child .

Yet i don't doubt Rashi's love for her kids

Urmilaben's love for Rashi though she is rude to her husband

Kokila's love for Ahem

Ahem's love for Vidya .

Parental love is just there . Nothing can measure it , judge it or determine it , least of all relation with spouse .

I think you are harping on that one fact of gopi hiding the kid. You do not want to go into the circumstances. Well, if in the court if they come to know how gopi was treated in Kokila's and ahem's raj from day one, the court will also understand whom to side with.

The only fault of gopi was tolerating abuse for years without even thinking of committing suicide and end it all. She should have fallen into the waters after Meera fell and either rescued her daughter or died with her daughter.

Edited by leavesandwaves - 11 years ago

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#35

I am not 'harping' on anything . Neither would i call the Ahem hate of others as harping . My other posts have given various views which i really don't wish to repeat . As for this thread , i have said all i want to say .😊

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 11 years ago

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inddrca

@inddrca

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

#36

Naturally . She had child of family for 8 years . She ensured child would be more attached to her . So yeah , exact scenario of what u say is possible and it will be shown as some right thing .

Though i feel it is a bit thick for a man not to know he had a child for 8 years , miss out on the growing process and then hear I hate u too from the kid . As i saw it , he is tender to the child . He entered the laddu competition only as she told him . He absolutely did not want to take part in any fun activity . He even agreed to the mother staying there coz the family argued it was for 'the child's sake ' .

But i think he cannot go beyond that , he cannot accept the mother . Her mistakes haunt him . Its a classic case of wanting the child but not wanting the mother and it being a tragedy where the child wants the mother and so he is expected to comply keeping his feelings aside .

I feel he should . For me , the child comes first especially if u have no interest in marraige with someone else , a career etc . I feel , just as Gopi should not go anywhere for Vidya , Ahem too should adjust for Vidya . I know its hard , especially since she kept the child from him for 8 years . I dunno what i would do if my husband hid my kid for 8 years and i suddenly saw her as a grown up girl .

But the situation as it is now , where both Ahem Gopi have no other love interests , passion for career , with priority only as child , i think for sake of child they need to patch up . Aage ka aage dekha jaayega .

/QUOTE]

Accepted that he is extremely annoyed with Gopi, even hates her ,agreed to her staying there for the child's sake, but it still does not give him the right to keep insulting her especially in front of everyone and the child. He can act mature and go about his work, loving Vidya and in general ignoring Gopi. He did manage to live in his own cocoon for years after Meera and it is not as if he was very talkative even before he married Gopi. He was always shown as introvert. He agreed to the marriage to gopi for his mother's sake and now marriage at all (whether radha or not) because his mother wanted it . It was is birthday gift to her because she demanded this gift.

All any one is asking is to behave maturely , not get into each other's way and then let nature take its own course in due time.

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Justlikethat1

@Justlikethat1

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#37

Urmila and kokila's lev for their children is conditional. Of course they love their respective off springs but they also attach conditions for that love.. And yes.. Ahem seems to be like them.

The fact is Gopi is a better parent of the two. Ahem may love Vidya, no one questions that fact but he is not as good as the other parent.