Hey @JJKKL...Somewhere inside he hopes that Paros hope for him not being a Janwar is right...and that his dark side with Laila doesn't crush that...Lets see...if the writer and I are any where close in how we view Rudra,,,,,although I admit I have a tendency to assume that the male leads are more romantic than sometimes what they turn out to be...
Sush,
Rudra's character as it is portrayed is not ashamed of what he has done or is doing. He does not twist or hide facts to get in the good books of anybody. He is particularly very open and honest with Paro about his past , prejudices, pain and what not. So I doubt he wants to keep this info hidden from Paro. Maybe he is afraid that Laila will portray their relationship from her POV which he knows is very different from his. And he wants Paro to know his POV first and not to be misguided by Laila's understanding of the relationship.
Would be great to hear from others in this thread too