If we start sending every kid who writes angry and morbid poems/stories etc for creative english class, has a speech problem, and is a loner to forced counselling/therapy, there won't be enough counsellors left for those who really need them.
Very true... and let me add a few more to the list: exhibiting signs of depression, keeping to self, stalking/obsessive behavior (virtual stalking is a form of stalking...and facebook/AIM/etc make it all the more easier, as for obsessive behaviour.. addiction included, nearly every student has some form of it...be it excercise, alcohol, food, internet, drugs, etc.)If adults (mind you, at 18, as per US laws, you are considered an adult and a majority of college students are 18+) were to be carted off to counselors and mental institutions based on these parameters... colleges/unis would be very empty places. A rather large percentage of the Uni student population exhibits 2 or more of these "symptoms" at some point in their college career.
C'mon people, it's not like CHO is the only one who was displaying the depression/anxiety/anger signs. Look around....most of our teenagers and preteens are this way. Writing cult-like poems based on Goth culture etc is the latest trend. You possibly can't think all these kids are going to grow up and become mass murderers!!!
I don't blame the school for not sending him forcibly for counselling. Trust me you, the day schools start doing that, majority of those who are blaming the school for not forcing Cho to go to counselling, will do a 180 flip and start howling about schools being hitlarian, stereotyping student and fringing on their human rights and all such crap.
It is not the school's responsibility to force counselling on any individual...that is the law of this country. And frankly, if we started forcing counseling on people we would most likely face many more social problems in this country...and many new disorders would be born of the counselling craze - everything is commercialized! The only way a person in the US can legally be forced into counseling is through sentencing for a criminal offence.
Charity begins at home. As a parent, you need to develop that relationship with your child where she can come to you and discuss things w/o worrying about any repurcussions. My 12 yr old asks me lots of questions....sometimes on quite shocking topics. I always tell her that I'll answer all your questions but do you think you are prepared to deal with some of the answers you'll get from me. Sure, there are times when she grosses out at an explanation but she does know that there is someone to turn to in hour of need. BTW, I always make sure to read her poems and stories. I was surprised about a month ago when I saw lots of dark, morbid poems and some violent stories. We talked about it to figure out what was bothering her and came to know that it was the latest trend with 7th graders!!! If you write cute, sunny, happy ending stories, you are not cool enough. Needless to say, we talked about it and we touched that subject again when Cho's writings came in news.
Kudos to you... I'm inspired by parents who take the time to talk to their kids so much. My parents didn't neccessarily talk to me everyday about everything, but communication is open and encouraged at my home. Each family works differently though. Despite the encouragement I just don't feel like I can talk to my parents about somethings...but then I've got friends and the networld where I can talk about the same.
To an extent, I would hold parents responsible but I have yet to come across a parent who raises their child to be a pervert or mass murderer. How do we know that Cho was neglected by his parents. There are numerous people who do long hours of odd jobs just to make ends meet and their kids acknowledge the hardwork the parents are putting in. Not all those kids go on a shooting rampage.
It's all speculation...we can't know all the details of his life. And I doubt very much that his parents would openly say "we neglected him." I can only imagine that they've been beating themselves up over it enough, crticism from the outside at this point really can't help them. Don't forget that while they are the parents of the criminal, they are also the parents of dead son.
After a certain age, kids know what's good and what's bad. If they still choose to go with the bad, then oh well, it is their choice. You can't put all the blame on the parents. Take me for example, how would I know whether what my daughter told me is true or not....but there are times when I had to trust what she is telling me based on my gut feeling.
He's 23...an adult who was intelligent enough to get into a good college and stay in it, doing well apparently, for 4 years. He was an able bodied, adult who had strong opinions and had the mental capacity to think of, plan out and execute mass murder. His mental instability was not a hinderance...it served as his motivation. Blaming parents, "the system" etc. can only go so far. Who knows how someone will turn out the next day? And if upbringing was the matter...as a male in an Asian family, he would have been "pampered" more. And yet his sister graduated from Princeton without killing anyone. This was an individual act by someone who led such a solitary life that even his parents didn't know the real him.
I do not blame the system. I do not blame the parents. I do not blame the society. I blame only one person and that is Cho himself. That monster knew what he was doing.
Exactly... what I said in the above paragraph relates to this.
I am sick and tired of this trend on blaming all psychopathic actions on troubled childhood, bullying, abuse as a child and what not. It's hightime we acknowledge that some people are plain bad....evil.....they would do it even if they had one of the best childhood and upbringing.
We can discuss this topic to death and point fingers at whoever or whatever even remotely touched Cho's life but the fact remains that even god helps those who help themselves....and we, by no means, are gods.
Well well well Gauriji ... you must be another great mind, for you and I think along the same lines.
Do read my comments in blue.
