PhatPhatiya Post - Mistress of Spices - Page 7

Hilarious 😆 well written as usual😊

Originally posted by: serialjunkie

Rudra: Run, Paro, Run

Paro: This would be infinitely easier if I had my Nike shoes on! Duh! 

Rudra: Yahan Bhi Aman, Meri car mein dhamaka acha hua, Shabash!

YBA: Sir, abhi bahar bhi dhamaka hoga. he he he

Rudra: Apni ghi ghi band karo!

YBA: Sorry sir! Bhabhi ji are you ok?

Rudra: Of course, she is fine, she is with me. Now tell me do they really buy that she is dead.

Paro: Dead, me? why? I am not dead, see I can still hyperventilate, see, see, see

Paro begins to furiously hyperventilate her chest. Rudra suddendly remembers the injury caused by Paro's hyperventilating underwire lingerie and winces in pain. 

YBA: Sir, every one thinks she is dead. Postmortem report confirms the dead girl had cotton stuffing for brains. 

Rudra: good, now She is all mine to play with, bwahahahaha!

Paro: Nahiii, I have a life you moron, i was supposed to canoodle with Varun and renovate his house and have 10 kids. 

Rudra: hey, Drama queen, don't hyperventilate, it physically hurts. Forget your dreams of domesticity when I am promising you night after night of hot passion!  So listen to me carefully, you will do as i say

YBA: Sir ji, please dont scare her, she will faint again.

Rudra: Hain? I am surprised she hasn't yet. Let me take care of that. Abhi faint karatha hoon.

For the 100th time Paro faints, this time aided by Chloroform Rudra smuggled out of the hospital

YBA: Where are you taking sir ji?

Rudra: Hai ek jagah, the Consumashuns Center of Spices

Meanwhile Thakur sa has ordered a ban on all measuring tapes sales in Birpur. His Jodhpurs throw a party in his closet for the relief they feel months after being subjected to torture. He calls a conference of villagers.  Then he pours the crocodile tears harvested from his pond of crocs in his eyes. 

Thakur Sa: Who is the CEO of this village?

Villagers: You are!

Thakur Sa: Do you believe me when I say, I am not money laundering.

Villagers: Yes!

Thakur Sa: Do you believe BSD is the basher who posts low TRP posts on India Forums

Villagers: Nine inch se be zyada!

Thakur sa: What is BSD?

Villagers: Sirf Piddi Piddi!

Thakur sa: Phir se Bolo, what is BSD?

Villagers: Sifr Piddi Piddi!!

Mamisa: Please, I want to skype or whatsapp Nandini

Thakursa wishes the budhiya would stop asking questions. He so wants to believe that once the girls go Sarhad Par, they become high class socialites with Ferragamo shoes and Gucci bags. Why would they ever want to come back to cowdung patticake village? 

Rudra arrives with Fainting Beauty to Consumashuns Center of Spices, where Masala Queen is rubbing Red Chillies to her employees sinuses. 

He has a flashback that should be giving us tears of pain. 

Rudra: F*** Every time I come here, Mujhe mummy yaad aathi hai. F*** F**** F**** Sh** Sh**F****

We get rare insights into his past life. Paro, please note Karein

     Rudra hates aloo ki sabzi 

     Rudra loves to be fed food by hands 

     Kaki cum Maasi cum Witch of the Wild West is your new TRP generating Sasu masa. She loves to add Masala to everything will feed you an entire bottle of Masala, with no water, if you are not careful. 

Rudra checks out the bedrooms to locate the best one of the lot. He finds one that is nice and secluded in the far corner of the house. It has good sound proofing, a nice firm King bed, and can buffer any screams and moans. The bed looks luscious and windows face the open desert. Good place for consumashuns. 

Rudra: Yo Kaki cum Masi cum Mistress of Spices, I'm bringing a free bahu muft mein for you to torture. Don't make my consumashuns into constipations

Kaki cum Mami: I am the Masala Queen for nothing, forget consumashuns, constipations, I have loose-(e)motions in mind!

Rudra: right, i thought so. So heres the deal. Sarhad ke is par All time All consumashuns. Sarhad ke uss par All Time Constipations. Try crossing this side and I will turn you to Chutney to go with your Masala poori

Edited by -Sush- - 10 years ago

hahahaha epic review 😆. look forward to ur posts everyday 😛

Originally posted by: -Sush-

Ha ha,...Good one...I noticed that too...!! 😆 

SJ...you are becoming quite a celebrity!!! As  I said, you have found exactly the right show and the platform to showcase your Chicago ishtyle funny swipe at a total desi ishtyle show...what a deadly combination SJ sa!!! Loving it!!!😃

Will Paro ever get to have a shower and change out of her damn wedding gear for a change. Man - even in prison they are mindful of hygiene and inmates are forced to shower! Next twist - Rudra say Paro is free  but to go to the bathroom only and change🤣

ROFL!!! realised how much I have missed reading your posts!!!! IPKKND was when I used to read them and you are back here and with a bang too!!! gonna have to read all your old posts on RR now!!!

Thank you for making me laugh... needed it today@!!!