Originally posted by: archis_2013
Sowmya, Ok, I give it to you that your response was only to that portion of my message that compared OVi and Purvi. As I mentioned, I have only focused on Ovi for the major part. My subsequent response to you was fully focused on the comparison as I could only respond to your message that had only focussed on Purvi being the betrayer and blackmailer.
We obviously do not see eye to eye on what happened in the hilltop. You obviously did not see Purvi for the majority of the episode, pleading with Arjun with folded hands and telling him repeatedly that this is what for her aai and that aai will get her parivar. You did not see the dilemma that Purvi went though a day before in her marriage when she had to choose her love or her mother. She did appear as if she had made up her mind before Arjun's party but she also heard him with tears on her eyes on how much she is close to his heart.
But it would have been an easy decision for Purvi because she is cold and calculating whereas Ovi is not.
I heard Ovi clearly saying in the tape that she stayed back because she wanted to share some special moments with Arjun. It could be sleeping with him or just talking to him. Don't know. Anyways you are not supposed to be using explicit terms in Indian televison. Even 'making love' would not be allowed Whatever be it, it is clear that she had made up her mind in leaving him the next day, she did not tell him about that and she wanted to spend the time with Arjun for herself.
Personally, I do not have any problems with Ovi having sex with Arjun (no, not on the grounds of being married. For me when she has already decided to leave him, she does NOT have the moral license) on that night or subsequent nights. Both Arjun and Ovi fell from my grace when he shamelessly tried convincing her that he has given away Pari and she shamelessly agreed to stay back after hearing that. And thankfully, this has lifted the 'Arvi Maya' off my eyes.
But my original post was in response to those who have always claimed that Ovi is upfront and honest and she is not cold and calculating whereas Purvi is not. If you look around the forum, for every 1 post supporting Purvi, you would find 20s bashing her. All I was responding to these days are to point at the inadequecies of those argument because it is obvious that what is good for goose is not good for the gander..And what do I get branded as, directly or indirectly, Ovi basher?
And one thing if you observe, no one can clearly say in black and white terms on why Ovi decided to sleep with her husband after she decided to leave him. Unlike you, I do understand both the girls. I was not condoning Ovi's act with my questions, I was poking holes at the logic that is generous and graciously accommodating for Ovi while it is strongly condemning for Purvi.
None of the OVI supporters have understood what was wrong in her expectation of Arjun after the marriage. No one had tried understanding of the so called 'amar-premis' pain when they were separated and hid behind the moral codes of 'Jeeju-Saali' relationship to criticise these every eyelock and every phone conversation of theirs? This is why I have written before that Ovi should have been the more understanding partner in Arjun-Ovi relationship and Purvi-Ovi relationship.
My point therefore is that we either have a heart and try to understand the complexities of emotions and human relationships or strictly go by what the moral police (god, I am going to be so dead!) prescribe as the code of conduct. As I wrote elsewhere -'on matters of heart, you are either black and white or grey, but you cannot chose to be black and white for one and grey for another .
My messages, in summary, are to protest against the unfairness of it all.
Vasu,
I don't think arjun and purvi being intimate before marriage is wrong, though if they had waited till then they very well could have waited until they were married. Still, it was unplanned and a moment of passion and they were in love; at least to me that's not wrong. What was wrong was what happened after. Purvi railroding arjun into marrying ovi, again emotionally blackmailing him into "giving ovi rights of a wife". The second when she knew a) she was pregnant with arjun's child and b) the truth about arjun-ovi's marriage was out in the open and c) arjun told in front of
everyone that he loved purvi still. Not saying it was an easy decision to make at all; it must have been hard. But the decisions were still wrong, even if they were taken for the most noble reasons.
Like I said, if she wanted to sacrifice, she should have just called the marriage off. If you check the episode when ovi meets purvi proposing the deal--she actually just asks her to back off and leave arjun. She doesn't ask that arjun be married to her, because nobody other than arjun should be making the decision of who he wants to marry. Of course, that's what normal people do. In this case, Purvi went above and beyond and blackmailed arjun into marrying ovi, and the puppet that he is, agreed to it. Again, not absolving ovi of blame here, or arjun. They are all 3 equally to blame, and yes the it was a difficult decision for purvi. Then, when purvi disappeared, she could have and should have disappeared with just her goodbyes. Instead, we all know what she did.
I know she did it for her aai's happiness and all of that. That she pleaded arjun with the same. But can you tell me why
he should sacrifice his life for
her aai? She can sacrifice
hers, acceptable, understandable and even noble. Expecting others to do the same is not. My best friend recently got married to her boyfriend of 10 years, after overcoming all kinds of obstacles especially her mom she loved very, very much. Granted she was not adopted, but she was indebted to her mom because her mom had raised her extremely well in extrenuating circumstances; pretty much being solely responsible for the person she had become both personally and professionally. She loved her mom and her mom loved her, and they both knew that fact. Still, her mom was not happy because of language issues with the groom's family and was unhappy till the very end. It would have been much, much easier for my friend to let go and marry a boy of her mother's choice. But she knew she would be miserable if she married some one else and would not be able to do justice by it, and that her mom would be miserable seeing her state as well. She had doubts till the wedding day about calling off the wedding, and going through with it was a very, very hard decision for her. But ultimately, she believes she took the right decision for herself and for her mom, especially for the long run. And she was not much older than purvi was, being in her twenties. So you see, I understand and appreciate purvi's dilemma since I've seen it in very close quarters. But I don't understand, appreciate or like
any of her decisions. You might say she is adopted so she feels indebted, that her parents were getting divorced and this was the only way to stop it. Calling off her own marriage with arjun might have been; but forcing him to marry ovi? Nope!
😆 at arjun and ovi shamelessly talking about pari being away and ovi agreeing after that. No probs, coz arjun and purvi fell off
my graces long, long back. In fact, I'm not sure they ever
were in my graces at all 😆 Anyways, I have different views on arjun and ovi on that as well, but this is already getting too long and I'm pretty sure we're not going to agree on it as well. So let's leave it at that.
Vasu, like I've said earlier--what is good for the goose is never good for the gander, atleast in PR. Because they're very different characters, circumstances and personalities. And more importantly, very different fans. Arjun and purvi were to be married about 1 month after he broke his engagement with ovi.
Everyone was of the opinion then that ovi should have gotten over it in that month's time.
Nobody saw that everything was happening too fast for her, that she was not getting the time or the space to get over her heartbreak instead the marriage was happening right away in front of her eyes. When arjun married ovi, shouldn't we expect
him to get over purvi immediately? Arjun was and is still being defended for being in love with purvi being married to ovi and
wanting to stay married to her. How come ovi should have gotten over her love within a month but it's ok for arjun to continue loving purvi?
About ovi being honest and upfront, yeah I still think that. And what happened recently did not change my opinion of it. Neither did it change my view on purvi. But that's my POV only, you're welcome to have yours. Why
do we need to know why ovi slept with arjun before leaving? It doesn't matter. None of these people are true to themselves or to each other, ovi comes closest. Arjun kept maintaining that he wants ovi, did he tell her honestly that he still has feelings for purvi too? What matter is what happens after this. If Ovi gets pregnant and she decides to tell arjun about the baby or not--it's fine. She can take any decision regarding herself and her (potential) baby as long as the baby is well taken care of. What
will be wrong of her is if she tries getting back with arjun after (if) he's moved on with purvi or someone else using the baby.
About how we have not tried to understand the pain of the
amar premis. I do and I believed that just like ovi could not move on in such a short time once her engagement broke, neither could arjun or purvi.
But, arjun had to do one of two things after the wedding--truly work on his marriage by trying to forget purvi and love ovi, or if he couldn't do that then separate from ovi. Meeting in secret even for perfectly valid reasons without telling wife is not acceptable just because they were in pain. Ovi
was understanding in the first month of marriage, the purported time for moving on in PR which I've already explained above. She continued to try working on her marriage after as well, according to arjun himself. She made terrible mistakes along the way, but when she realized it, she not only apologized for them but also worked on correcting them. She
cannot be expected to understanding of arjun and purvi's
pavitra rishta still.
Finally, I'm not absolving ovi of the mistakes she made. She was wrong in making the deal, she was very very wrong in drinking while pregnant. Though I can justify her actions, I know they're still wrong. But you can't deny that since then ovi has acknowledged, apologized for and rectified her mistakes to the best of her ability to
everyone. Arjun, purvi and onir. Her dad too I think, but I can't remember that very well. She has had self-realization and an understanding of her relationships and the people around her, and of herself. She hasn't done wrong since then, and if she has she corrected it. Purvi and arjun and even onir have also done many wrongs, terrible ones. I'm not condemning to a life of hell just because they have. They deserve to be happy too. But they need to first realize they have made mistakes, acknowledge to themselves if not to others and learn from them. And they
need to stop making more and more mistakes (which have recently crossed the line to become crimes). You can justify purvi and onir swapping the babies saying they had the best intentions, but can you deny that they were plain
wrong in doing it? Have either of them acknowledged that they were wrong in doing it, even after onir lost his license to practice for it? No, they continue to say it was tyaag and done for bhalaai. It may be those, but it was and is still
wrong. P.S. Please do not label
anyone with any name. Moral police may not be derogatory, but it's still judgemental. And you should know that we're are
all naturally biased, even if we try our best to be objective. That comes with the territory of having a favorite, one cannot help it.
P.P.S Now
that is a verbose post. Didn't know it was getting so long😆 I understand if you get lost in the middle somewhere😛
Edited by sowmya_jairam - 12 years ago
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