The Party & its hangover! - Page 3

Janhvi dearest,

No, no, none of Caesar's dying, despairing lament, please! I never said that YOU would post anything along those lines, did I? But we may be sure there will be a zillion such posts, and you know that yourself, after having ploughed through the poisonous, corrosive stuff that floods this forum these days.

But if that article turns out to be true, Janhvi, I will finally wash my hands of your (not ex, obviously) ladli. She will then be beyond the pale. She does not have to love Onir, but if she puts his being jailed to such use, she needs to be tarred and feathered after being put in a pillory.

I have so much affection for you that I do not like disagreeing with you, which is why I could not decide what to write after I read your post. In any case, most of what you and I write these days is much of a muchness, and we are constantly repeating ourselves. Me most of all.

So, my very dear Janhvi, all that I agree with in your otherwise beautifully done post - and that it is so clever no surprise! - is the last part about Onir. But by now, I am beginning to tire of his folly in blindly backing his wife in all her idiocies and misdeeds, however well meant they might have been. I detest her these days, but even so, I do not see her as wicked or conniving, and definitely not evil.Which is the 5% where I differ from Pari. Plus of course the motives that she has wrongly attributed to you, all that part about wanting Ovi dead. That applies to so very many in this forum, but NOT to you, my dear, never.

But that hardly matters to those at the receiving end of her machinations, and if you will pardon the cliche, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And then, these days, I find myself dong the unbelievable, looking at things from the new Ovi's point of view. Pari is absolutely right in her take on Ovi's reaction to the baby in yesterday's precap, and it is the same as what I have said about it elsewhere.

And Janhvi, all that stuff about twins and one dying ...I could not believe it was you, sweetheart! What has that got to do with the matter at hand? Ovi cannot be expected to look at Pari now and see anything but Arjun and Purvi. If she had been a Latin, she would have pulled out a gun and shot both of them dead, and then been acquitted for a crime passionel! Might not have been such a bad thing at that, for it would have rid us of these benighted amar premis, and, if we were lucky enough, perhaps shut down PR as well. I suppose, though, that this is too much to hope for, alas!

Finally, no Janhvi, it is not bronzed hair, but shiny bronze make up all over the forehead.

Shyamala

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Dear Shyamala, et tu Brute? 😆

I will respond only with I believe in loyalty and fidelity as passionately as you do, my friend.

And as for the transparent saris and wigs, I had to laugh at that. I thought the replacement had bronzed hair not bronzed make up, unless I missed something.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Apology accepted no lengthy explanation needed. 😉

Don't get me wrong I totally get where Ovi is coming from, I can sympathize with her even but almost pityingly. You are right, her biggest fault has been her blindness with regards to Arjun. She cannot comprehend that the guy she loves and has built dreams around since a child cannot, does not, feel the same way about her. All that is fine and dandy, her actions may have been justifiable but have never been excusable i.e., until the baby thing. The baby thing was horrible and she asked the right questions of Onir.

I will not fault Purvi either for her stupid sacrifices and twisted thinking that she has to bear the world on her shoulders, she is as much a product of circumstance as is Ovi. I cannot comprehend one understanding Ovi's motives but not crediting Purvi's intentions. They both are very young and need a parent's guiding hand. At the very outset after the marriage, the parents needed to have gotten involved and straightened out the mess. But like you write, Archana and Manav could never be good parents because they themselves were embroiled in a private world of hurt and misunderstandings.

I do not even fault Ovi for asking Arjun to take the baby away, you are right we have all been guilty of doing that. The other day, when she pretended to sleep as the baby cried and even today her looking away as he picked up the baby though does not bode good. If the two incidents are not going to be a precursor as to how Ovi is going to behave with Pari in the future, then well and good. Maybe Purvi's words will come true, she was so confident that Ovi will accept the baby as her own. Purvi was right in that after many initial struggles, Ovi's and Arjun's marriage had been on the mend, so as you say let us wait and see if Ovi will accept the baby even though the articles floating around don't give much credence to this way of thinking.

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Dear Soumya and Pari,

This is just to thank both of you kids for having saved me a great deal of typing when responding to Janhvi's characteristically sophisticated analysis. Both of you are spot on, I agree witn 95% of what you have both said. So I have very little to add, and what little there was, I have put it in my response to Waneeka above.

Well, young ladies, I think both my wonky wrist and I need a break. I am tired of Arjun looking like a goldfish and crying up all the time, I detest weak and ineffectual men. I am even more tired of Purvi's long face and her transparent sarees and her ugly wigs. All that is left now is for the replacement Archana to rise up from her coma (complete with bronze make up lathered on with a trowel) and voice her complete "understanding" of Purvi's tyaag. At least Ankita was, despite Archana's innumerable follies, always very easy on the eyes. Purvi these days is anything but that.

But most of all, I have no desire to see the foolish Onir in jail while his mishti 'renews' her feelings for her old amour ( I have carefully refrained from saying paramour, for I do give Purvi credit for trying to stay away from Arjun after she got him married to Ovi).

It would make me feel not just queasy but sick, for despite so much exposure to the brave new world of this forum, and the new age morality that is so freely espoused here, I am still old fashioned, and I believe in loyalty. I believe even more strongly that the blackest of sins is ingratitude.

But I am sure you girls will more than make up for my absence, for you are, if anything, more eloquent and more passionate, which is the gift of youth. So go to it, gals!

Shyamala Aunty

Shyamala Aunty 😃,

Thank you! I have to be getting to bed though, this is a full day's work. I can fully believe we could spend the whole day just going back and forth, probably over the same points. Fun though😛. Oh Onir! I credited him of having a sense of right and wrong, though late. He's become a complete fool though. I feel pity for him. How, just how can he not only tell purvi she's completely right when she's clearly not but tell how her tyaag is greater than her mistakes? Without even caring that her tyaag will most likely land him in jail or worse. That's what happens when you cross paths with people like sulo, archana and purvi. They always, always feel they're right and they're so confident about it that you have to start believing it as well.

I agree about the possible future tracks. Waiting to see how they will play out. Can't say what to expect from the CVs--they can take it anywhere they want Hopefully, they won't butcher any of the characters even further---it's difficult but they might just be able to find a way.

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Janhvi dearest,

No, no, none of Caesar's dying, despairing lament, please! I never said that YOU would post anything along those lines, did I? But we may be sure there will be a zillion such posts, and you know that yourself, after having ploughed through the poisonous, corrosive stuff that floods this forum these days.

But if that article turns out to be true, Janhvi, I will finally wash my hands of your (not ex, obviously) ladli. She will then be beyond the pale. She does not have to love Onir, but if she puts his being jailed to such use, she needs to be tarred and feathered after being put in a pillory.

I have so much affection for you that I do not like disagreeing with you, which is why I could not decide what to write after I read your post. In any case, most of what you and I write these days is much of a muchness, and we are constantly repeating ourselves. Me most of all.

So, my very dear Janhvi, all that I agree with in your otherwise beautifully done post - and that it is so clever no surprise! - is the last part about Onir. But by now, I am beginning to tire of his folly in blindly backing his wife in all her idiocies and misdeeds, however well meant they might have been. I detest her these days, but even so, I do not see her as wicked or conniving, and definitely not evil.Which is the 5% where I differ from Pari. Plus of course the motives that she has wrongly attributed to you, all that part about wanting Ovi dead. That applies to so very many in this forum, but NOT to you, my dear, never.

But that hardly matters to those at the receiving end of her machinations, and if you will pardon the cliche, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And then, these days, I find myself dong the unbelievable, looking at things from the new Ovi's point of view. Pari is absolutely right in her take on Ovi's reaction to the baby in yesterday's precap, and it is the same as what I have said about it elsewhere.

And Janhvi, all that stuff about twins and one dying ...I could not believe it was you, sweetheart! What has that got to do with the matter at hand? Ovi cannot be expected to look at Pari now and see anything but Arjun and Purvi. If she had been a Latin, she would have pulled out a gun and shot both of them dead, and then been acquitted for a crime passionel! Might not have been such a bad thing at that, for it would have rid us of these benighted amar premis, and, if we were lucky enough, perhaps shut down PR as well. I suppose, though, that this is too much to hope for, alas!

Finally, no Janhvi, it is not bronzed hair, but shiny bronze make up all over the forehead.

Shyamala

Originally posted by: sashashyam

Dear Soumya and Pari,

This is just to thank both of you kids for having saved me a great deal of typing when responding to Janhvi's characteristically sophisticated analysis. Both of you are spot on, I agree witn 95% of what you have both said. So I have very little to add, and what little there was, I have put it in my response to Waneeka above.

Well, young ladies, I think both my wonky wrist and I need a break. I am tired of Arjun looking like a goldfish and crying up all the time, I detest weak and ineffectual men. I am even more tired of Purvi's long face and her transparent sarees and her ugly wigs. All that is left now is for the replacement Archana to rise up from her coma (complete with bronze make up lathered on with a trowel) and voice her complete "understanding" of Purvi's tyaag. At least Ankita was, despite Archana's innumerable follies, always very easy on the eyes. Purvi these days is anything but that.

But most of all, I have no desire to see the foolish Onir in jail while his mishti 'renews' her feelings for her old amour ( I have carefully refrained from saying paramour, for I do give Purvi credit for trying to stay away from Arjun after she got him married to Ovi).

It would make me feel not just queasy but sick, for despite so much exposure to the brave new world of this forum, and the new age morality that is so freely espoused here, I am still old fashioned, and I believe in loyalty. I believe even more strongly that the blackest of sins is ingratitude.

But I am sure you girls will more than make up for my absence, for you are, if anything, more eloquent and more passionate, which is the gift of youth. So go to it, gals!

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: pari87

Sowmya dear,

Brilliant posts, both of them. 👏 Loved and agreed with every word. Even though we both might try to convey the same logic, yours gets across simply due to its beautifully lucid writing and a very comprehensive but wisely restrained way with words. I hope if nothing else, I learn these things from this forum.some of KC gangs brilliant observations and sarcastic humor from all the witty ladies we have, or some of Waneeka's obectivity, and some of Shyamala aunty and Jhanvi's comprehensive and lucid writing style without screaming emotions. :)

You have put all points across that did not even occur to me while writing mine, like Manav supporting Purvi in his own way, Ovi's issue with Purvi and how Purvi will always be different for OVi and about how yet the truth is not completely out, so Arjun knowing the truth from the beginning would always be in the picture until it is cleared. But even then, whether is a year ago or 3 days ago, a husband is not absolved of the crime of outright lying to his wife about the news of their dead child.

I think there can be hundreds of explanations given about Purvi's psyche which is so ingrained with gratitude that all her intentions stem from wantin to give back as much as she can to Archu and D and K's. I necessarily may not believe that for all of her actions. OVi's psyche can be understood by explaining her childhood and abandonment issues and her lopsided upbringing where she was never told between right and wrong. I loved your analysis and explanation of Ovi's character and it is everything I agree with and believe of her too. But, this is the point where we will not be able to agree with Purvi's explanations of psyche and thus behavior and people who hate ovi will not be able to understand Ovi's psyche and hence behavior. Just, THAT point where there is no meeting point between two groups of people with different opinions!

It is a delight to read your posts as always! Loved these two ! Brilliant once again :)

Pari🤗,

Thanks, I feel exactly the same way reading your posts 😊 Must credit you and all the others who write such detailed, wonderful, thoughtful posts for your patience. I can understand Ovi because she's real, I'm in some ways like her. I know people like her, people who love or hate at extremities. And best of all, she's experiencing character progression. I feel vindicated on seeing it. Purvi, I can understand her psyche too, partly--the part where she feels gratitude and debt for archana, where she feels the need for getting and keeping the love of family. What I don't understand and never will, nor accept---is that she goes overboard. Ovi goes overboard too, but her personality and her way of doing it is such that you know exactly what's coming a mile away. Purvi has the more dangerous, subtle way of doing it where you think everything's fine and suddenly, the rug is pulled from under you and everything's upside down and you dont have the time to react.

For example, she could have just refused to marry arjun at that hilltop, instead she forces him to marry Ovi. She could have run away from mumbai without telling arjun to give ovi the rights of a wife. None of this absolves arjun on agreeing to her, but they're just examples of her psyche. She could have done the baby swap in a lot of different ways---all of them wrong, babies are not supposed to be swapped between people---but atleast, in a better way. She could have offered the baby to ovi and arjun in confidence (without anybody else knowing so that everyone thinks Pari is actually ovi's baby), or in ovi only since arjun doesn't really have any feelings of his own. This is a choice offered to the people involved in the matter rather than making a decision affecting them for them. Ovi could then choose if she wanted to adopt pari or not. Easy thing to do, right thing to do, same consequence but without so much lying--if it has to be done at all. Instead, she chooses the worst possible way---to do everything. I still would have not liked her if she was more upfront, I think she's self-righteous and arrogant in that self-righteousness; but I would have understood and even respected her. But never this purvi.

I can understand theoretically that she has good intentions, like I told Jhanvi in a post earlier. But she doesn't know where to draw the line. She cannot force her ideas of wrong and right down other people's throats and she definitely cannot sacrifice one person's happiness for another. Not marrying arjun for aai's happiness---awesomely laudable! Forcing arjun to marry ovi for the same---not so much. Sacrificing own's happiness--great, selfless! Forcing other people to sacrifice theirs--not so much. Aai's happiness is obtained, what about arjun's? So on and so forth 😆

With that, I shall take leave or I'll never stop! Ciao and goodnight!

Janhvi,

Just one teeny weeny question.

WHY does Ovi have to pass an agnipariksha of sorts and accept Pari? I think that I would not, and nursing the baby for 2 months has nothing to do with it. You say you would, but you have not been there and done that, so what you would actually do remains to be seen, just as what I would do remains to be seen. Neither of us can be sure of what each would do.

What I object to strongly is this new thesis being generated that Ovi should accept Pari in order for her to be accepted as a human being and not as the unfeeling, selfish monster so many in this forum are glad to see her. She does NOT have to accept Pari at all.If she does so, it would be truly admirable, but no one has the right to hold it against her if she does not.

Pari to her will be a constant reminder of acute humiliation, and that the child is not at fault has nothing to do with it either. Ovi knows that, and says so to Pari, when she wishes that she could share all her sorrows and problems with the baby. That, I felt, was one of the most touching and despairing lines in PR so far. So if she cannot stand being reminded of all that led to Pari being substituted for her dead baby, who has the right to blame her? No one.

What astonishes me is Arjun's gall in apparently assuming that his (still) wife would be ready to play nursemaid to his progeny with his inamorata. I was appalled at his shamelessness in going and standing there in their bedroom (incidentally, why on earth is he too living there? I thought he had a large house?) and obviously expecting Ovi to mind the kid. He deserves to be kicked, with a pair of hobnailed boots, from one end of Mumbai to the other. Why does he not give the baby back to Purvi, or take care of it himself, for none of the Deshmukhs will not want it, for obvious reasons?

Or maybe he, Onir and Purvi can set up house together (oh, completely virtuously, of course, remembering Purvi's sanskaars, and NOT a menage a trois), so that Pari can have both her parents with her, to the delight of the bulk of this forum, who have made her being with her biological parents a sort of rallying cry. Onir would have to be there to lend them respectability, unless of course he is hauled off to chokey, and apni Purvi then starts (re)developing 'feelings;' for her ex. I can see a succession of charming scenes of them both and that baby, at the breakfast table, bathing, her dressing her, feeding her. Oh, it is beginning to give me goosepimples, so the bulk of the forum will faint clean away!😉

Shyamala

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

I do not even fault Ovi for asking Arjun to take the baby away, you are right we have all been guilty of doing that. The other day, when she pretended to sleep as the baby cried and even today her looking away as he picked up the baby though does not bode good. If the two incidents are not going to be a precursor as to how Ovi is going to behave with Pari in the future, then well and good. Maybe Purvi's words will come true, she was so confident that Ovi will accept the baby as her own. Purvi was right in that after many initial struggles, Ovi's and Arjun's marriage had been on the mend, so as you say let us wait and see if Ovi will accept the baby even though the articles floating around don't give much credence to this way of thinking.

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

Sowmya, no, I was not referring to Manav now, I am talking about Manav ignoring how Purvi felt a year ago when they were celebrating Ovi's wedding reception. Now, I agree, if I was a parent with two daughters in the same mess, I would be glad they had moved on and would not have broached the subject even but I was referring to the past when he showed no hesitation in throwing a grand party with not a thought to spare for the poor heart-broken girl.

Yes, Arjun should not have kept the truth about the phone call or the baby secret from Ovi, he owed Ovi the truth and I have written that elsewhere. I will buy all that about Ovi being more reserved and close only to a small group of people, but remember the comment about the being lucky bit about Purvi was just before the godh barai. Yes, Ovi will never be able to completely trust Purvi ever or be her friend, nothing wrong in her feeling that way but her calling Purvi a friend then was a misnomer.

As to Ovi feeling more secure after having the baby that is what I was getting at too, that in having more than what Purvi had or at least being equal to Purvi, she was feeling at peace, at ease and so more generous. We all tend to do that and while perfectly understandable, I would not give her kudos for that. Purvi whose world had been turned topsy turvy by that deal on the hill still harbored no grudge against Ovi and did her best to make Ovi's life happy. By that mere fact, Purvi has the bigger heart. Ovi, I do not think is evil at all, just selfish, and maybe her abandonment issues had a part to play just like the adopted baby syndrome has left Purvi also mentally crippled in a fashion. Both girls have been scarred for life in different ways, except one has always had good intentions for the other albeit for the wrong reasons, the other has always distrusted and disliked the other perhaps with good reason but to me the former is more likeable than the latter.

It is a pity that because of the failure of the pavitra rishta between the parents, the lives of the children have been messed up - sachin, soham, ovi, purvi (though she would not have been in the picture if the separation between ARMAN had not happened). Teju seems to be the only emotionally balanced one, not sure how she escaped unscathed.

Jhanvi,

He did ask archana about how purvi was doing at the reception, and shortly after, went to get her to join the rest of his family at the D home. Manav cannot be faulted alone for not being worried for purvi. Archana and manav both knew and understood that they were supporting purvi and ovi respectively. Archana did not care for Ovi when she went brandishing the wedding cards, then inviting for the engagement ceremony, insisting on manav doing the kanyadaan after learning about Ovi's suicide attempt and his clear words about how he had to support his daughter at that time. Archana was very, very clear from the beginning that she was on purvi's side, irrespective of how ovi or anyone else felt about it. You cannot expect manav to also be on purvi's side, even if she was heartbroken. Archana did not stop or even reduce the speed and grandeur of purvi's wedding celebrations even after learning how depressed her other daughter was. Why then should Manav leave Ovi's reception for purvi? None of this is normal or right---neither manav nor archana. Both are wrong, both took sides--not just manav.

Ovi was trying to be friendly with purvi, it's not a misnomer. You don't need to trust a person completely, or even a little to be friendly. It's enough if you don't want to rip out their hair or yours, be civil and able to talk of meaningless and meaningful things, and able to share in their happiness or sorrows. No need to be best buds after all, but friends they could be. And she was trying to be that.

And no, I don't think Ovi thought since purvi lost her baby and she was in a better place because she had hers, she could share her happiness or show off. She doesn't care about purvi at all; if purvi wasn't there, if purvi was living a very happy life anywhere in the world, it won't make any difference to ovi. Neither does she care if purvi is part of her day-to-day life, she knows and understands purvi's family even if they're not very close and she tries to be friendly when they meet, to be able to be part of a family without it being awkward or uncomfortable. I don't think she thinks about purvi in general at all, not more so than any of her other family members. Her attempts to console purvi on learning about her babys death was not because she finally felt she was in someway equal or better than purvi; she probably thinks that anyways 😆. Rather it's because being a new mom and in sharing the same experiences together as expectant mothers in her attempts to be friendly, she genuinely wanted to help purvi with her grief. She may be self-centered in that she thinks about her happiness first whereas purvi thinks about others; but the fact is that Ovi with her self-centric behavior has caused less destruction than purvi with good intentions. Good intentions are of no use to anybody when lives are being destroyed. As you know, I prefer the former over the latter, not simply because purvi has good intentions LOL but all the reasons I've listed earlier.

If some of this doesn't make sense, I will only say I'm half-asleep 🥱 This is quite a rambling post 😆, I have no idea what I've written and dont have the patience to read now. Will try editing it tomorrow.

Shyamala, I was about to turn in but had to peek in to my detriment :) I am in stitches imagining the scenes of domestic bliss that you have painted!!

Ovi accepting the baby or not makes not the slightest difference to me, it will just prove that she is not the saint that she has been painted out to be. There have been numerous posts extolling her maternal virtues of how she would be a better mother and should therefore divorce Arjun and take the baby away from him. That is not going to happen as Ovi's character will not lend itself to such altruistic love. That is all.

As to whether I would accept, I got to thinking about it, if it were revealed after you had raised your child for say 2 months, 2 years, 10 years even 20 that the kid was not yours, I think it would be impossible to stop loving it whosever baby it was, illegitimate or not.

I have a friend whose hubby had an affair with their 17 year old babysitter. My friend walked out of the marriage, the hubby married the girl, they have a 5 year old together but the girl walked out on the guy after he had put her through college as she found some other sucker to play house with, as this man has no one to take care of his 5 yr old, he works nites, he asked his ex, my friend. She hates the guy but gladly babysits the boy. The boy resembles her own son and she is so loving to the kid it is hard to believe it is not her own. I always feel a sense of admiration for her when I see her with that child.

Sowmya, me too almost half asleep so forgive me if this doesn't make sense either. Manav might have asked Archana but that didn't stop him from carrying on with the gala. He got Purvi much later not immediately, I remember all the talks on the forum about how Archana needed time to adjust before Purvi could enter the D household. Archana brandishing the patrikas might not have been in good taste but here the bride herself was replaced, a much bigger issue and Manav made no attempt to call the girl or even go visit her briefly, he stood to gain doubly by her sacrifice.

Yes, the way to hell is paved with good intentions and while I feel like smacking her hard for her senseless insistence on putting everyone else first, I like Purvi for that. I would never be able to do that and hence my sneaking admiration for a person who is willing to give up their happiness for another. If she were my daughter, I would have torn my hair out in frustration and have had her locked up in a looney bin but fortunately she is not real. Similarly, if Ovi were my daughter I would have smacked her and sent her packing to Timbuktu far, far away from Arjun.
Goodnight!