Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
My two cents ................
About being 'ashamed' of Archana's family ...............Society in Dombivli .........traditional marathi society is like this only . Gossip prone , paying more attention to customs rather than the values propogating them , praising political correctness rather than truth . . Its not easy to survive in this society by being the odd one out . This Society will not accept 'Good friends after divorce' at all . Even if some do upwardly , there will be a lot of snickering behind the back . So if Archna and Manav expect their 'Pavitra Rishta' to be accepted , they r in for a rude shock , and thats exactly what is being shown . When u r in Rome , behave as the romans do , is the diktat of the world , not just Dombivlites . . Sulochana is a limited woman . She is a part of that society . She knows only two ways of survival .......getting daughters married and hanging on to the son even if bahu doesn't want her . My own mother is exactly like this . Judging these mothers as bad and calling them villains is not entirely correct . They r simply surviving within That social framework , thats all . These mothers educate daughters , see them getting jobs and then start planning for their marraige . Its very rare that u find a mother who educates daughter , sees her doing job and says Oh Ok , U don't wanna marry na , Ok . I respect ur decision .My blessings to u for remaining single . Do we honestly see such mothers in that society ? . If u can , see it from Sulochnas POV . Other two daughters nicely married off and happy , so is son . When she and Manohar die , Archana will have to make a home with her bro and his bitchy wife , looking after their kids ..............what a horrible future .She will grow into an old maid bearing Manju's taunts and not really having anything of her own ....everything will be Manju's . 90% of spinsters live like this with bros and bhabhis and we all know their fate . Is Sulo so wrong in wanting her re settled ? . So she agreed to look into the proposal that Dharmesh brought her . But the daughter is fixated on her ex .......Manav , who is a 'good man' but not really giving her any hope as such . In fact the good man is moving on in life by marrying HIS fiancee . . But daughter is saying , I will live with his mEMORIES . Which mom on earth will accept this ? To all those blaming sulo , look at your moms and ask urself if u had given this answer to ur mom in this very same condition , wud she have agreed ? . I didn't see Sulo denying Manav's goodness . I see her taking a resigned attitude that Ok , he is good , but whats the use ? He is marrying someone else ! But what about my daughter ? . I have two daughters of my own . I wud worry EXACTLY in the same way .If even one daughter wud tell me of some PAVITRA RISHTA , I wud say Pavitra Rishta my foot , now u sit here and LISTEN to me . . Seeing that Daughter is just not listening she told Manav to convince her as Archana only listened to Manav . I have argued with saffy that its not really Manavs place to convince Archu to marry , blaming Manav here and laying guilt trip on him is wrong . Saffy said that from mothers POV , Sulo is not so wrong . Perhaps Saffy is right . If u leave the rectitude part out of it , all she is asking is her daughter to move on too . . Manav cud have refused Sulochana. I am sorry , I wont go and force Archu . She has done enough for me , this is HER decision . Let world call me selfish , I wont do it . But He did it AFTER LISTENING TO SAVITA . Not just SUlochana , mind u . ALWAYS , it has been the weakness of this character that he listens to his MOTHER .Savita reiterated Sulochnas worry and justified it . That affected Manav deeply and he went and emotionally blackmailed Archu into marrying Jaywant Rane . . By that time Sulochna had ACTUALLY listened to Archus decision grudgingly and RETREATED . . Archana refused to listen to manav at first . What did our hero do ? . I won't marry Shravni till u do so , he said , knowing exactly where to twist the knife . . Two days later , Shravni pays a visit , blasts Archna and informs her manav is REALLY not marrying her after making her wait for two years as his condition his ......Archana shud get married FIRST .
Hearing that , Archna realises that Manav is actually acting upon his threat . He is REALLY not marrying Shravni . She buckles and goes straight to Jays house and asks him if his proposal still stands .
Actually Sulochna has retreated by now , so had Jaywant after archnas refusal .
So who took the decision and why ?
Did Archu take it for her old moms sake ? Or for Manavs sake ?
Neither did Archna take this decision for Sulo nor coz she was afraid of Shravnis curses . She understood that Manav is really not marrying Shravni thru Shravnis tirade and that affected her .Manav knew where to hit emotionally to get what he wanted .
We don't see Manav even considering that Archnas choice in marraige is important , forcing her this way is just not done . He cud have gone to sulo and told I talked to her , she is just not listening .He didnt do that .He FORCED her hand .
Manav has pretty antiquated ideas for a young man doesn't he ? He actually went to Jay and told him Archna is STILL PURE coz she is still a VIRGIN .
Before saying Manohar and sulo r the antiquated ones ..........see what Manav is . To save Shravnis honor he took away Archnas honor by reducing her from married woman to other woman , then went and forced her into remarraige , then went and told her fiancee she is pure coz she is virgin . This is the POOR Manav whom u all r defending by blasting Sulochana.
After initial maraige misunderstandings ...........created by Manav's mom btw [ lying her son is engineer and what not and doing horrible dowry demands] Sulochna , to her credit had given the marraige a chance . Even before divorce she had invited this coupl;e for lunch ad repeatedly prayed to them NOT to divorce . They dID NOT LISTEN . Coz they were interested in SAINTHOOD .
They actually wanted to be the PATRON SAINTS of DOMBIVLI .
before glorifying the leads and bashing other characters who are shown as pretty real and looking out for themselves and uninterested in sainthood , See what Manav Archna did . The other characters r IMPERFECT HUMANS .Manav Archna r HUMANS TRYING TO BE SAINTS . And we all know what happens to saints , don't we ? Read their live stories and see the suffering they undergo . And Thats precisely watz being shown in this serial .
Hi there Kool, I remember you from Ghar ki Lakshmi Betiyaan, and I remember we agreed on most everything 😆
I understand what you mean by being the odd one out in society, and I agree with you on that, but that is not the issue I have with the creatives here. The issue I have with them is that they portray antiquated ideas regardless of whom they use as their scapegoat character. Whether its Sulochana or Manav, they are still trying to say that all women need a man in their lives to live happy productive lives. That is simply not the case. I have two aunts who are not married, and its not like they weren't pressurized, they just didn't give in to the pressures. They showed strength of character and stood up for themselves (this is in india by the way) and that is what I would have liked to see from a TV show as popular as PR simply because it is watched by so many and the characters are idealized by so many impressionable youth.
About making a home with Vinod and his bitchy wife, who says Archu has to live with them. She got her magical one-year education and can hold a job, get an apartment of her own and live her life happily. Women can do so many things without a man in their lives. I'll use my aunts as examples. One is a doctor and the other a beautician. They both adopted children and have many friends they hang out with. Their friends have become their extended families. And the only real blood family they talk to are the ones who respected their decision not to get married. If India's going to progress, the everyday people need to know how society works outside their little village or street or community, and there is no better way to get this information to them than it is through television soap operas.
About what a horrible life she will have with her bro and his wife, what about the life she COULD possibly have with Jaywant.. What's the guarantee that he will keep her happy? What's the likelihood that she will accept her as her husband willingly?
My problem with Sulochana stems from her inability to recognize that her daughter, the one she claims to know better than anyone, is grieving the loss of her marriage. Why can't she for the love of god let her daughter have some space to get over the loss of her marriage. I'm sure at some point after Manav and Shravani are married, she will truly accept the fate of her marriage and move on. Why can't Sulochana wait until her daughter is good and ready?
A lot of girls tell their parents they won't marry, the parents don't take them seriously because they trust their children to understand life and understand what they want from life as they mature or pass through whatever phase it is that they are going through, why couldn't Sulochana trust her daughter to make the right decision for her life? As much as I try to, I don't understand why Sulochana puts the happiness and opinions of outsiders on a higher pedestal than her daughter's happiness. The only reason this drama started was because one of her neighbors said something about Archu getting married again.
About Manav and his weakness of character, I never defended his character or the emotional blackmailing he did to Archu. He was just as wrong as Sulochana was. When I said that Sulochana and everyone in the Karanjkar family praise Manav and love on him when they need him and discard him when he is of no use anymore, this is exactly what I meant. She went to him to beg him to get her daughter to understand that she needed to remarry, so he did, then when he was in trouble and needed help, she supported her infuriatingly self-centered AND WRONG damaad Dharmesh. I wanted to get in there and slap Sulochana herself when she yelled at Archu for slapping Dharmesh.
I've always hated Manav for stripping his wife of her rights to give those rights to his BROTHER's fiancee. I've never forgiven him for that, and I don't think I ever will. I don't think it was appropriate of him to value his word over the happiness and rights of his wife whom he loved dearly, especially when Shravani was willingly telling him to go to Archu. Having said that Archu is equally to blame. If she had told Manav that I don't WANT to give up my rights for Shravani, he would have probably changed his decision, but she didn't.
I do NOT understand why they did what they did at that time, but I do know that if they were allowed to be friends and hang out from the beginning without being ridiculed and shamed, they would have gotten over each other a lot faster. Because absence makes the heart grow fonder right? The chase is more exciting than the catch a lot of times, and chasing is all these two have been doing.
And finally, I agree, Manav IS very old fashioned with his idea of purity and all that junk.
Edited by sereaishitedare - 14 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
