this show is sending out wrong message - Page 3

they say, "Ghar ki Lakshmi betiyan!", but Goddess of wisdom and knowledge, Saraswati, is also a woman! 'unparh Saraswati!' sunney mein bauhat achchha lagta hai, hai na!!???

. But then again, I was a little repulsive towards her character right from the start, because while her sister was taking care of the entire household, she never bothered to give her a hand. If she really thinks she is an adult and can take care of herself, why doesnt he make her own tiffin in the morning, or why doesnt she ever help out with other household chores? Just because she is working is not an excuse for turning a blind eye to her sister's pressures with household work. Its for these reasons that I am not completely sympathetic towards her character. If she was giving her 100% efforts to build a trusting relationship with her family, I would have agreed that Sulochana was wrong. But she seems to be easily influenced by her friends and the fact that she is taking advantage of her mother's trust by lieing about computer classes just doesnt make any sense to me. Her mother was wrong by slapping her and she accepted her mistake, then why the arrogance?

^^ r ray yaar, hum log khaatey hai, issi liye hi tto woh log khilaatey hai!!!

but varsha is caring abt her family. i guess

What's wrong is Varsha's attitude.....parents are always protective..and will be.....What if something bad happens to Varsha when she is roaming around with her friends, doing late nights.......won't you say that her parents gave her more than enough freedom?? Unless you are a mother you won't understand how important is your child's safety to you....and belive me....Mumbai is NOT The safest place in India. What sulochana does is over protection I agree.......but What Varsha is donig by listeining to her crappy freind ....that also is not SO RIGHT....Sulochana atleast trying her best to trust her daughter becasue she has accepted that she made a mistake....now what varsha is giving back to her family????

Originally posted by: angelina23

For the last time, people, Varsha is not negatively portrayed because she wants to go watch movies.
Remember Sulochana's dialogue "Mujhe tere picture dekhne sai koi aitraaz nahi. Bus 6-9 ka show nahi." So why is everyone hating on Sulochana for saying that? She is just looking out for her daughter, and again, not restricting her from watching movies, but from watching it after its dark. I think we should stop criminalizing her. About Archana dropping out of school, her mother never asked her to. She was ill, and Archana felt that she should stay home and take care of her mother. yes, we could probably blame Vinod for not giving the family a hand and sharing the responsibilities, but I dont think Sulochana is at fault.

Originally posted by: Relda

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But then again, I was a little repulsive towards her character right from the start, because while her sister was taking care of the entire household, she never bothered to give her a hand. If she really thinks she is an adult and can take care of herself, why doesnt he make her own tiffin in the morning, or why doesnt she ever help out with other household chores? Just because she is working is not an excuse for turning a blind eye to her sister's pressures with household work. Its for these reasons that I am not completely sympathetic towards her character. If she was giving her 100% efforts to build a trusting relationship with her family, I would have agreed that Sulochana was wrong. But she seems to be easily influenced by her friends and the fact that she is taking advantage of her mother's trust by lieing about computer classes just doesnt make any sense to me. Her mother was wrong by slapping her and she accepted her mistake, then why the arrogance?


So, by your logic, a husband who works full time should not come home and help his wife (who is a housewife) with her household chores just because he is bringing food and buying her clothes and jewellery? are we not reinforcing the same male chauvinism we are protesting?
I am not trying to belittle anyone's work, and I am by no means implying that Varsha slacks off and thats why she should help Archana. What I am saying is that a working woman and a housewife have equal respect in terms of the work they do, and each family should work as a team. What I have serious problems with is Varha's attitude and her personality. She works 12 hours at an office, and Archana cooks food, does the laundry, raises Punni, cleans and does every other work that a person needs to do around the house. Again, I am not trying to compare their work, but their personality. If Archana can multitask, Varsha surely can do her bit by at least offering to make her own food, or ironing her own clothes. If she really were to move out like her mahan friend suggested, she wouldnt have an Archu tai to do all that for her and would have to do it all on her own. In todays episode, we saw Manav helping Archana with the dishes even though he works 16 hours at the garage! Why do we appreciate that then? Shoudnt Varsha do the same? As far as Archana getting a part time job and helping out financially because there are only 3 people earning for the family, I cannot comprehend that sentiment, because she is not qualified to the least bit to do that. that is the whole point of the show. She has been at home the majority of her life, and its very unrealistic to expect someone who hasnt developed those people skills to go out and get a part time job. And if we are really saying this one the basis that there are only "3 people earning for the family," then there is only 1 person who is running an entire household and taking care 6-7 people. So why cant we have at least another person giving her a hand?

A family should consist of teamwork. Just because I work or my husband work doesnt mean he or I can come home, put my feet on the table and demand everything done for me. Similarly, if I mainly do housework and I am qualified to do a part time job, doesnt mean I should just stay home and not help financially. If Archana had the capacity, she would have done that. I have problems with Varsha's selfish attitude, not the work she does. Sure, she earns money for hte family, but she seems to imply that she is doing a favour by doing that and that she deserves to "live her life." Why cant Archana think the same way? She does equally hard work (not more, not less) but doesnt even want credit. What about her living her life? Does she not want to get married and have a home of her own? Does she not feel like watching movies? Even though sacrifices all of that, she doesnt act like she is doing something great, whereas Varsha acts like she deserves to be put on a pedestal because of what she is doing. That is my whole point. The fact that she isnt humble like Archana and takes advantage of her family's trust.

I have never seen Varsha disrespect Archana. On the contrary, it has been shown that she loves her sister very much, respects her wishes and was genuinely happy with her wedding before it fell apart. I do have a serious problem with Sulochana when she spouts the lines like" tumhe kaam karne ki ijazat diya" and questions her when she spends part of her salary on her birthday. It seems to me that Sulochana thinks that she had done her a favor by letting Varsha work. She doesn't ever thank her for her contribution towards the family, thinks that Varsha has absolutely no right to spend a part of her salary in any way she wants and is always distrustful of her and her ways. To expect Varsha and Archana to have the same kind of personalities and attitudes towards life is unrealistic. Varsha's education, job and world experience puts her at a different position from Archana who has very little exposure to the world outside her family. That's like expecting a village woman to have the same persona as a college-educated city woman. When Archana goes to the temple for the puja, that is her idea of leisure and happiness. For Varsha, going to movies and being out with her friends is her way of unwinding and having fun. Why isn't it shown that Sulochana worries about Archana when she visits these criminal infested temples alone but goes off in a tizzy when Varsha goes to a movie?

I also think that the assertion that Archana single-handedly does all the house-work is a bit exaggerated. In most instances, I've seen Sulochana helping her in the kitchen. She also has enough time to spend with her friends or at the temple if she wishes. And I agree that running a home requires team-work. So, if we expect Varsha to help Archana with the chores to ease her sister's burdens, then shouldn't we expect Archana to also decline having such a lavish, grandiose wedding when she knows that the financial situation of her family is so strained? When a 1000 rupees shortage in a month can make such a difference to the family budget, wasn't it also her duty as a daughter to ask that they curtail using her father's pension funds and her sibling's savings for her wedding? Archana doesn't want credit for her work because it is her nature to be shy and self-effacing but also because she has the greatest fan and proponent in her mom who seems to never tire of speaking about Archana and her selfless work to any person within the earshot. How many times have we heard Sulochana speak fondly about Varsha's work and her financial contribution? This kind of inequitable behavior towards the two sisters makes Varsha question her mom and her love and trust. I think a mom should be more even-handed in her praise and acknowledgement of her daughters talents and achievements.

Both Varsha's and Archana's contributes towards their family but the USP of this show seems to be more focused on glorifying housework and sweeping aside outside work as inconsequential.

I see your point. But is there anything wrong with glorifying housework?
This show is doing so because it seems to convey the message that in our pursuit of getting an education and making money, we seem to look down upon those women who do not have an education and are incapable of earning. This show is novel, because it tries to bring into focus the fact that in today's society, we undermine and underestimate the work that housewives do, and somehow think that they are less intelligent or less worthy of a decent married life. Its not glorifying housework with the implication that it should be the one and only goal for women. Rather, it is glorifying it in a way so that we dont degrade housework in comparison to having a career. This means that it portrays girls having an education and a career as the norm. As an advocate of women's education myself, I would much rather prefer this approach than showing a society where a woman's role in the kitchen is taken for granted and a girl's education and career is shown as something extra special or out of hte ordinary.

Abour Varsha loving her sister, of course she does. As a realistic soap, the characters cant be shown as total devils and must be a humanistic combination of good and bad. But this is the same Varsha who in the first episode says, "Since I make money, I want at a guy who earns at least 30,000 (or something of that sort) a month. Vaise Tai (archana) ke liye mahine ka bara tera hazar kamane wala hi kaafi hai." Whether that is arrogance or concern for her sister, I shall let you decide that.

^ agree with u, angelina23! i'm not trying to defend Varsha's misdeeds, but the whole point is, nowadays, the trend has become to belittle the modern/working girls in this Soap Culture. a liberal thinker is a vamp in a soap, and a mean person is the loving mom/dad here (remember, Kanya's Father in Kuch Iss Tarah!)