Minnie's Father, From Ashok to HS - Page 2

Originally posted by: tk2015

Minnie has never felt the love of a father before HS. Yes, she had dadu and Sukhi as father-figures, but that was mostly materialistic.

In the sense that while they provided her with tangible and other amenities, they never tried to understand her or help her emotionally.

Did they ever speak to Ashok about shifting home or taking Minnie along because his daughter needs him?

Leave that, did they ever try to maintain conversation between them via phones etc? As far as I remember, Ashok didn't even remember how old his own frigging daughter was.

All her wishes were heard and fulfilled, but nobody actually paid close attention to her emotional well-being. No wonder she's a control freak and has to have things done her way. That was a form of overcompensation from her family. To coddle her enough to make up for the absentee father.

Then HS came into her life. Strict and a disciplinarian, but andar se mom ki tarah soft. She expected a slap on the wrist for beating Khatri and was defensive.

What she got instead was a beautiful soul taking one look at her and understanding what exactly had gone down. He didn't give her a free pass. He tried to make her understand that violence isn't the answer, but he also understood her emotions.

He has been able to see her for who she is, not as a daughter or grand daughter, etc., but as a person. This was something lacking from her life before. All her friends and family had put her in a mould that she couldn't seem to grow out of. HS saw her as a troubled child and held out a hand to help.

HS involved himself in her life. He didn't sit back and expect her to manage things because it's Minnie (like others do). He went a step ahead and started helping her out at an age where she needed the guidance most.

So beautifully written....you've captured the essence of HS-Mini so wonderfully👏....especially these lines in bold :) Word to everything.

HS is special for Mini because for the first time in her life, someone saw her as a PERSON....TRULY understood her emotions without mollycoddling them or appeasing them. She's such a headstrong girl but no one, not even the mom she's so close to truly seemed to know how to handle how sensitive she is inside.....HS was the first person in her life to connect to that sensitivity....because so much of it is similar to his own.

HS-Mini are kindered spirits.....before any other role, any other equation....that is what they are....kindered spirits who just found each other with a stroke of destiny....and then there was no looking back. The reason he understands her emotions is because somewhere they are his own....he struggles with the same things....feeling too much, wanting to fight the world for his loved ones, the anger issues.....but he's worked through these issues over time....that is why he knows how to guide her there too.

You make a great point about how HS involved himself in her life and didn't just do what everyone else does....get steamrolled by Mini's strong personality and sit back and let her manage as she wants to.....sometimes all that strength hides a whole lot of vulnerability.....Mini's case is like that. And HS was the first person in her life to get that......until Mickey showed up and took over....lol

I wish we could get back that HS who GOT his Veer Balika like no other.....sigh.

As for the father-daughter aspect....yes, if they never manage to work their way towards that equation, there will be an emptiness inside both of them.....yeh rishta adhura rehne ke liye nahin banaa hai. With some relationships, you can say that iski limit bas yahin tak thi.....there cannot be anything more....and that's fine.....all relationships don't need a label, a definition to be meaningful.

But with these two, it's obvious that that was the natural course they were on.....they gravitated towards it naturally....given the magnitude of emotion they feel for each other, they will never be truly content or happy in life without reaching that fulfillment in being the father-daughter they are meant to me.....it will fill an emptiness inside them that Babita alone can never make up for....only these two can do it for each other.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

So beautifully written....you've captured the essence of HS-Mini so wonderfully👏....especially these lines in bold :) Word to everything.

HS is special for Mini because for the first time in her life, someone saw her as a PERSON....TRULY understood her emotions without mollycoddling them or appeasing them. She's such a headstrong girl but no one, not even the mom she's so close to truly seemed to know how to handle how sensitive she is inside.....HS was the first person in her life to connect to that sensitivity....because so much of it is similar to his own.

HS-Mini are kindered spirits.....before any other role, any other equation....that is what they are....kindered spirits who just found each other with a stroke of destiny....and then there was no looking back. The reason he understands her emotions is because somewhere they are his own....he struggles with the same things....feeling too much, wanting to fight the world for his loved ones, the anger issues.....but he's worked through these issues over time....that is why he knows how to guide her there too.

You make a great point about how HS involved himself in her life and didn't just do what everyone else does....get steamrolled by Mini's strong personality and sit back and let her manage as she wants to.....sometimes all that strength hides a whole lot of vulnerability.....Mini's case is like that. And HS was the first person in her life to get that......until Mickey showed up and took over....lol

I wish we could get back that HS who GOT his Veer Balika like no other.....sigh.

As for the father-daughter aspect....yes, if they never manage to work their way towards that equation, there will be an emptiness inside both of them.....yeh rishta adhura rehne ke liye nahin banaa hai. With some relationships, you can say that iski limit bas yahin tak thi.....there cannot be anything more....and that's fine.....all relationships don't need a label, a definition to be meaningful.

But with these two, it's obvious that that was the natural course they were on.....they gravitated towards it naturally....given the magnitude of emotion they feel for each other, they will never be truly content or happy in life without reaching that fulfillment in being the father-daughter they are meant to me.....it will fill an emptiness inside them that Babita alone can never make up for....only these two can do it for each other.

WORD... they are meant to find their way back to each other and indeed reach that fulfillment. It's fine if it takes time and a whole lot of experiences to get there but they should eventually fill the void in each other's lives that only they can, without pressure to conform.

She is in many ways a younger version of himself and as you correctly pointed out, he has been through those situations and is therefore in a good position to guide her through. Mickey can give her moral support but he lacks the wisdom and experience that HS has to help her see things and to be the best version of herself.

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold yes exactly . i dont like the hate she gets for being headstrong and wanting to be a part of most decisions. Its also because she generally takes the right decisions. Also that is the way she is because she had to become that way because babita was to gullible and weak. Its better if babes mini sit down discuss and then reach a conclusion instead of forcing decisions on each other. Babita has to learn this and mini too. Also they never had the mother daughter relationship they have always been on an equal footing so its better we dont view them as one.

@ bold2 yes exactly mini did say that she felt happy with HS calling her his daughter. But right now she thinks he dosent need her. I still feel it is HS turn to step up and tell her how much she is needed in his life. Him ignoring her after the cd fiasco has only led her to believe the she is not much important in his scheme of things.

+100.....aaj kal headstrong hona toh gunaah ho gaya hai bhai....LOL.....and yes, people definitely resent her even more cuz her decisions are usually more sensible than those of Babita.....yeh toh woh chicken and egg waali story banaa di hai logon ne....ki what came first? Babita's weakness or Mini's strength? LOL people seem to want to blame Babita's weakness on the fact that Mini is so strong *rolls eyes*

And honestly, Mini too has faltered as we saw in the depression track and then Babita DID step up....so why this presumption that if Babita is weak, it's all Mini's fault? Different people have different triggers.

As for HS-Mini.....yes, Mini has mostly backed off again and she will only reach out if she feels he needs her.....like she did when he broke down in front of her. Otherwise they will both focus only on Babita's issues....that's their usual tendency....dunno when they will realize the importance of tackling their own relationship and communicating on their own level as well.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

So so amazingly you've put everything down.

Jean will toh love it and I loved it too!

Exactly. I feel somehow she has again pulled herself back, not accepting what HS offers her - unconditional love and support - not necessarily as a father but as a mentor.

Ofcourse it was HS who severed the bond but then, Mini needs to realise that trust once broken can be rebuilt again. Not just here but even for life. She IS missing this in her life. And she refuses to acknowledge it.

I don't know what stopped her from telling HS that Babita isn't concentrating on her business or that they've an important order. Like a snail she has retracted in her shell. Why Mini why? Open your arms once again. And HS won't disappoint you. Cause just as she doesn't have any experience in being a daughter, he too is a newborn father.

Also one more thing that comes to my mind - that Mini too broke his trust once by doubting his intentions. But he ignored all of it for his love for her. Why can't Mini let go just ONE, one mistake of his?

@ bold yes she has. with HS specially. She just has stopped expecting anything from him. expecting chodo she has stopped demanding also even if she needs it. Or is she scared that HS will not understand and she will be hurt more. And after HS being the one who has helped them establish the business. Im sure he wouldnt want babita to fail after all the coaching he has given her

Originally posted by: AreYaar

As for HS-Mini.....yes, Mini has mostly backed off again and she will only reach out if she feels he needs her.....like she did when he broke down in front of her. Otherwise they will both focus only on Babita's issues....that's their usual tendency....dunno when they will realize the importance of tackling their own relationship and communicating on their own level as well.

Some major trigger is required for that to happen.

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold yes she has. with HS specially. She just has stopped expecting anything from him. expecting chodo she has stopped demanding also even if she needs it. Or is she scared that HS will not understand and she will be hurt more. And after HS being the one who has helped them establish the business. Im sure he wouldnt want babita to fail after all the coaching he has given her

It just hurts me to see them both like this, but I do hope after a point Minnie realizes she can't handle it on her own and that the 'I will survive' mode won't work for major stuff, and ends up going to him for help. Of course, I'd prefer if he figures out the issue and steps in himself but it would be kinda nice for her to haq se go to him instinctively as she did in the past, without thinking about the current state of their relationship.

I want some more exploration of Mini's thoughts on Ashok as a father.

Babita mentioned in her ranting last week that for Mini's birthday, Ashok used to send her gift parcels.....we got to hear Babita's take on it....that Mini used to wait all day just for that gift parcel and none of the other gifts from her family mattered to her as much as the parcel from Ashok. So clearly she had some level of attachment to Ashok even if he was an absent father.

Then what are her thoughts now? Why are we never shown even a small glimpse? And now that HS has heard Babita mention this....can he initiate a conversation on his own with Mini about it to know her feelings?

Yes, I get it....Ashok ka topic is hard for HS to raise too....it's weird to talk about the man that caused so much pain to Mini and Babita.....but I still want to see these conversations happen.....I want to know what Mini's thoughts were for all those years about her father who's gifts she waited for.....if she also waited eagerly every year, where did those emotions go? Something has to be resolved there as well.

She's had the conversation with HS about how they will manage their relationship on their own without pressure to conform.....but they both need to start confiding in each other about their thoughts, emotions again as well. Mini used to share this with him before each time Ashok's nonsense left a fresh batch of wounds on her and Babita's psyche......I wish she would do it again.....and I want her to talk about her OWN pain vis a vis Ashok....not just Babita's. Come on, HS....Babita se toh baat kar li, Mini se bhi is topic pe baat karna zaroori hai.

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold yes she has. with HS specially. She just has stopped expecting anything from him. expecting chodo she has stopped demanding also even if she needs it. Or is she scared that HS will not understand and she will be hurt more. And after HS being the one who has helped them establish the business. Im sure he wouldnt want babita to fail after all the coaching he has given her

That's part of it. There is a bit of a grey area now that HS is HUSBAND to Babita.....it creates a kind of boundary line no matter what, that anyone feels hesitant to cross....even a daughter.

When PB was created, Babita was in a totally different headspace.....yes, HS encouraged her and supported her and probably still will....but now there are new responsibilities beyond the shop for Babita.....and Mini is probably hesitant and unsure about how HS will think now about an issue that involves Babita being too caught up in HIM rather than her other responsibilities....lol ab kis muh se bolegi yeh Mini HS ko.....ki err my mom is too lattu over you now and I'm not sure that's good for her overall😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

+100.....aaj kal headstrong hona toh gunaah ho gaya hai bhai....LOL.....and yes, people definitely resent her even more cuz her decisions are usually more sensible than those of Babita.....yeh toh woh chicken and egg waali story banaa di hai logon ne....ki what came first? Babita's weakness or Mini's strength? LOL people seem to want to blame Babita's weakness on the fact that Mini is so strong *rolls eyes*

And honestly, Mini too has faltered as we saw in the depression track and then Babita DID step up....so why this presumption that if Babita is weak, it's all Mini's fault? Different people have different triggers.

As for HS-Mini.....yes, Mini has mostly backed off again and she will only reach out if she feels he needs her.....like she did when he broke down in front of her. Otherwise they will both focus only on Babita's issues....that's their usual tendency....dunno when they will realize the importance of tackling their own relationship and communicating on their own level as well.

yes depression track but there too babita only saw it as mini missing her grandparents and got them back to her and believed the issue was solved. Where as minis depression had a lot of other deep seeded issues too. The issue of being abandoned by her own father, coming to terms with that she was not needed in his life and she would never get a fathers love, being homeless after pinku too dint want to keep them, the need for being strong and mothering her mother then, the court case, needing to sell off her scooty. Babita not trusting her with her male friends and preet breaking friendship with her & manmeet case where her integrity was questioned were the last straw. But again babita saw just one aspect But in real mini has not yet come out of her depression. She has learnt to ignore and live with it. Her i will survive speaks of that. And babita is actually again recreating some situations again. And with HS being pushed away due to babias insecurities even he cannot get through her now.

that will happen when HS tells her how he misses both of them together as a unit, that he needs her in his life. because im sure mini misses that too. they did communicate on their own level before CD fiasco happened. after that interaction has been to either HS saying sorry or scolding her because of babita. He needs to go upto her and speak to her other than this.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Some major trigger is required for that to happen.

Ab kya trigger bach gaya hai? I guess HS needs to land in the hospital for something to trigger Mini and Babita both😕😆

I do think for Mini especially, that jolt is needed....she isn't realizing the magnitude of emotion she has for him otherwise.

Babita ji ne toh bataa hi diya hai ki woh kitna DOOB chuki hain HS mein😆....so I guess she's fine for now.....lol