FF - Dejected: Chapter 7 - page 15 - Page 6

Chapter 5 –

Now Siddhi was determined to know exactly what was going in Kunal's mind. It had been 2 weeks since Abhay's truth came out and ever since then Kunal had in a way built fort around him. If there is one thing that bugged Siddhi more than anything, it is Kunal's silence with her. No way she can live like that. She had already planned how she will engage with Kunal and find what is going on. With that objective in her mind, she went back to bed. Staring at Kunal, unaware when she fell asleep.

Next morning 8:30 am, Kunal opened his eyes. As usual everyone else was gone. He slowly stood up from his spot. He still felt somewhat tired, his body still might not had enough rest but then it was time to wake up anyways. He took his towel and without talking to anyone simply went to bathroom. After about 20 minutes he came out of bathroom. Although he didn't want to directly interact with anyone, he noticed he had not seen Siddhi yet, he wondered why, little scared as well. He came out of his room looking around and Seema informed him Siddhi had gone to drop kids again. Kunal simply nodded yes and was off to wherever. Everyone in the house was bit curious as what is happening with Kunal these days given his behavior in past 2 weeks, but then Kunal has always been so reserved.

As usual Kunal was off to his destiny, little tired but it is what it is. Minding his own business, with his head down, Kunal was walking where he needed to go. Unaware, today Siddhi was following him. Sure Siddhi went to drop kids off, but then she was waiting for Kunal to go so she can find out what is going on. She wanted to know where and how is Kunal spending entire day, he seems so much tired almost every night. She feared for his wellbeing, mental and physical. After walking for about 20 minutes or so, Kunal reached a construction site. It seems like ongoing project with engineers as well as workers around. Kunal went to group of men and they talked for few minutes. Siddhi was observing Kunal from a safe distance.

After finished talking to those men, Kunal went to tea-stall and asked for tea. It seem like very basic tea-stall, more water than milk in the tea and all construction workers were also drinking tea right there. Siddhi was confused as why is Kunal drinking tea here when he refuses to drink it at home. She just couldn't imagine her akdoo husband Kunal is sitting on rock, drinking something like tea in smallest tea cup she has ever seen. She was not able to understand what is Kunal doing here and why? One of the workers was going toward them so Siddhi stopped to inquire few things.

"Can you please tell me what is he doing here?" pointed at Kunal.

"who that man? I think his name is Kunal and he works here." Siddhi was confused to hear Kunal works there so she questioned him to tell her in detail.

"I don't know much about him. He came here about 2 weeks ago. He is friend of someone who knows one of the engineers. They said he is educated so they made him supervisor. Well just for namesake as some day he is doing some paper work, mostly dealing with workers and 2-3 times he even helped out actual construction work. Nobody knows much about him as he doesn't talk to anyone. Every single day I see him come here drink tea, during afternoon will have Vadda-pav or anything that is cheap on stall and he puts over time every single day. Other than that, only know his name."

For a minute Siddhi was numb to hear this. Kunal works at construction site, something like supervisor but when needed have worked as regular worker as well. Every day drinking tea here, eating just any food every afternoon and putting over-time; what was going on with him? She needed to know but she knew this is not the right time or place. She managed to handle herself in the moment and simply asked what time does Kunal get off. Man said he believed Kunal is done at 7:00 pm. Knowing all this, with so many thoughts in her mind Siddhi headed for home. She reached home, started getting herself busy with daily work, appeared as if everything was fine but it wasn't. She was very much bothered by what she saw and heard. Image of Kunal sitting on that rock, drinking tea at the stall, imagining him eating whatever cheapest as lunch kept appearing in front of her eyes and it pained her. She had to talk to Kunal to know what is going on. She decided she will again go there around 7:00 and talk to him outside home. No one at the home needed to know this, especially the kids.

Around 6:30, Siddhi made some excuse and headed out to meet Kunal. Due to traffic, it took her while to get to construction site. When she reached there, almost everyone was gone. She searched for Kunal who was not there. Upon inquiring with one of the worker, he pointed in some direction where he saw Kunal walk away. Siddhi went in that direction, walked for 10 minutes looking around, hoping to see Kunal somewhere but no luck. Walking on that road she reached Pawai lake. Upon reaching the lake, she searched for Kunal again but no luck there either. She was about to go away and saw almost like deserted area off the lake, Kunal was sitting under an old tree. He was sitting there alone, perhaps trying to be invisible by the world, with complete blank face just sitting there. For few minutes Siddhi stood at distant, staring at completely dormant Kunal sitting like one of the stone. She was about to approach him but her cellphone rang. It was her kids, they needed Siddhi to come home for something as it was urgent. Siddhi thinking perhaps she can wait till Kunal comes home as it was near time for him to come back anyways. So she decided to go home and attend to what her kids needed.

8:00 pm, Siddhi was eagerly waiting for Kunal. As usual everyone was having dinner, even kids were enjoying their meal but Siddhi kept looking at the door. At every small moment she felt it is Kunal and went by the door. Half-hour passed, an hour passed but Kunal did not show. Everyone in the house had dinner and even asked Siddhi to do same but she refused. She even helped kids with their home-work, helped Seema clean up kitchen but did not have her dinner. She insisted on waiting for Kunal and having dinner with him. It was 11:30 pm and Kunal still did not turn up. Tired of waiting she lied on the bed, still looking outside window, looking towards door hoping Kunal would come now. Not aware when she fell asleep. Around 12:30 Kunal came back home. He saw food on the dining table with 2 plates. He imagined like old days Siddhi might have waited for him, but then thought no those days are long gone. He went to bed room, saw Siddhi and kids sleeping peacefully. Looking at his family a smile crept on his face. Whenever he looked at them like this he felt as if everything is fine, things have always been so normal in his life and as if Siddhi never left this bed room. But that was just his illusion, or may be an excuse on his part to escape guilt and blame? Kunal intentionally would come at this hour and stare at his family as it made him feel little better seeing them at such ease; but then in that moment did he try to forget what has happened, may be forgive himself a bit? No! He must not forget what grave crime he has committed, pain that Siddhi went through for such a useless creature like him and he has audacity to smile looking at them. He should always maintain his distance from them or they might get in trouble. Next moment Kunal in a way jerked back few steps. He took his clothes, changed and went to his corner. As usual kept staring at Siddhi while sitting there and unaware when, he fell asleep.

Next morning again Kunal woke up around 8:15 am. As expected, no one was in the room, he went took bath and soon was off to work. Not that anyone in the house knew he was going to work and given how things had been in last 9 years they were may be used to Kunal's such behavior. All of them sure wondered where did Kunal manage to get the money he gave Gaurav, lately his apologetic behavior with everyone and what is he doing at the moment. But then he was not coming home drunk, was not gambling, hardly bothered anyone or got involved in any type or trouble. So again compared to 9 years, this was so much better. Even today Siddhi had gone to drop kids to school. But again she was waiting for Kunal to leave for work. Yesterday she lost opportunity to talk to him, rather question him what is going on. But not today. Today she was detrmined to find out what is going on. She followed Kunal in the morning at the construction site. Once they started working she came back home. Then again she went during evening knowing Kunal would be by Pawai lake. This time she asked kids to call up Kunal and ask him to come home. She saw from distance Kunal receiving phone call and getting up. She understood Kunal must be heading towards home so she left before him. She reached home in 10 minutes as she took auto. Kunal walked back home so it took him much longer.

As planned, first kids told Kunal all about their school activities, how things are going and he must have dinner with them. Kunal did not say a word and did whatever kids wanted. Around 9:00 pm, Kunal simply informed them he has some work, he will get late so don't wait for him. Saying this he left without talking to anyone else. Siddhi was just waiting for this. She asked Seema to look after kids and she will be back soon. Being very careful, Siddhi again started following Kunal. Kunal took an auto, Siddhi too got an auto to follow him. After about 15 minutes, they reached some hotel. Kunal went inside the hotel from side door. Of course Siddhi was not allowed to go from that door. She saw there was some party going on and she was not allowed to go in. She asked the door-man about Kunal and that she is his wife and it is urgent to see him. Door-man took Siddhi to side door and allowed her in. Siddhi went inside, first she had to pass through a locker room and then came a corridor. End of the corridor was door to go to party. For minute or two she looked around for Kunal but nothing. Finally she spotted Kunal by the bar; she thought Kunal has some work. But looking carefully she realized, Kunal was wearing the hotel uniform, Kunal was the bar-tender at the party…..

Siddhi almost lost her balance, she felt as if land slipped away from her feet. She could not hear, feel or even take breath in looking at Kunal as bar-tender. Except her eyes, every other organ was perhaps paralyzed in her body. Tears made their way out as she saw Kunal making drinks, taking them to everyone with his head down, being called bar-tender by rich yet low class people. Never she imagined she had to see even this as well. She remembered Kunal worked as bar-tender once for BA, but taking it up as regular job every night? That too on top of working at construction site, what has happened to her Kunal, her akdoo, full of attitude husband Kunal Chopra appears so weak and timid in this crowd. She stood at her spot for God knows how long when finally Kunal turned that side and saw her. Although Kunal avoided direct eye-contact while keeping his head down, he looked in questioning manner at Siddhi. Before anyone of them can really engage someone yelled "bar-tender" and Kunal had to attend to that man.

Siddhi could not see this or hear this. At this point with tears heavily flowing out, she ran away where she came from. Every single image she saw of Kunal in these 2 days came before her eyes. First seeing Kunal drinking that tea sitting on rock, imagining him having cheapest meal as lunch, sitting by the lake every evening, looking at him every night where he seems so tired, this bar-tender job and worse was the lifeless face of his. He appeared worse than ever, worse than when she told him to get out in jail, as if he is unable to take in oxygen what so ever. What had happened to her Kunal, what and why?

At 12:30, with small, timid and tired steps Kunal came home. To his surprise Siddhi was waiting for him outside. She grabbed his hand and took his to terrace, "why Kunal, why? What exactly are you doing?"

"I am working. Something I have been avoiding doing my entire life" with his head down.

"But why do you need to work at a construction site? Why do you need to work as a bar-tender. The Kunal Chopra, one of the best legal mind working at such places? Why? Answer me why?"

With chuckles, "what lawyer and what legal mind. I am the man who couldn't save his wife from a wrong case. I am the man who stood there and saw my wife being convicted of the crime she never committed and also left her in jail for no fault of her own. Don't call me lawyer, it will be an insult to all lawyers and people will stop believing in lawyers all along. If I was truly a lawyer, I would understand or try to investigate reason behind whatever took place. But what did I do? You said get out and I left, without thinking what will happen to you, what will happen to our child. Self-obsessed narcissist I am, I kept crying and playing victim where you endured all the pain. If I truly was a lawyer, at least once I would have tried to find out, come meet you and ask one more time what happened? No I am not a lawyer, I am just pathetic human being who has failed at everything in life. I have failed as son, brother, lawyer, father and especially as husband. But for how long can I run away from my responsibilities? I must start at some point so I found these jobs."

With teary eyes and ache in her voice, "But Kunal…"

"Man should only do what he is truly capable and worthy off. I am doing the job I am capable and worthy off. It doesn't involve lot of responsibilities. It suits my incompetent personality and surprisingly pays well." Putting both of his hand together in apologetic manner, "I know you must feel ashamed for having such a husband. Not just my work, but even I am not worthy enough. Please forgive me, as much as I try my best, I know this is the kind of work I truly deserve. I wish I could give you your life back but I have ruined it. I shall try my best to not damage it anymore. I shall try to fulfill part of my responsibility for remainder of my pathetic life. Once again I am sorry for everything" by end Kunal's voice started breaking and he had tears in his eyes. Without looking up, he simply left from terrace, leaving more than ever paralyzed Siddhi.

Originally posted by: pradnya1n

wow...

wat an emotional update Jay..

amazing...👏👏

eagerly waiting for next update..it is really painful to see SINAL like this..😭😭 it hurts..

Originally posted by: sadh24

Awesome...really I moved to tears after reading ur update...😭 but i can't see SINAL like this.
waiting for next update & hope for the best...please update soon...
this is for u...👏👏😊

👏

Originally posted by: akrk

Hi jay...

Awsome update...
Very well written...
Hey when Parichay will end will we able to read ur updates of ur ff's... rpl

Continue soon... waiting...