Chapter 22
Kunal was at the terrace, looking for Sidhi. He couldn't see her at first, but then spotted a shadow standing at the railing, facing away, near the same spot where he'd seen Sidhi a few days back. Sidhi was standing still, not moving, not crying. Kunal felt a second of relief, then started wondering what to say to her and how to apologize.
Kunal was still at the terrace door, thinking, when he suddenly saw Sidhi open a bottle with her hands and beginning to drink it. Fearing the worst, he called out her name and leapt towards her.
"Sidhi! What are you doing? Poison...Sidhi stop, are you out of your mind?!" Kunal shouted, reading the label of the bottle Sidhi was about to drink from. He shoved her and tried to take the bottle from her hand. Sidhi, meanwhile, struggled, not willing to let go.
"Leave me alone Kunal. Let me go! I don't want to live anymore. Just let me go away. Let me die." Sidhi was hysterical. Kunal held her wrist tightly and managed to wrestle the bottle away, which fell on the ground in the struggle.
"Sidhi, have you gone mad? You want to die! Why?" Kunal was crying as he was trying to control and calm Sidhi. Fear and panic had completely gripped his mind. Meanwhile Sidhi was still hysterical and struggling to get out of Kunal's grip.
"Sidhi...Sidhi look at me...you can't die. Just because ma said something in anger, you want to kill yourself. Arey if something happened to you, have you thought what would happen to us? To your sons? To me...Sidhi..come on look at me...look into my eyes...I can't live without you Sidhi. Not a second. Do you want to kill all of us with you? Our children...think about them" Sidhi broke down and fell on the floor.
"No Kunal. There is no point in my living anymore. My kids have grown up without me. They are strong, they will survive, and you're there to take care of them. I wanted to die the day you disowned me and asked me to leave you, but I got greedy for my children's love. I shouldn't have. I should just disappear and let you live in peace. I have always only brought pain and bad luck to you and this family. Every single time."
"Nahi sidhi" Kunal mumbled, kneeling down beside Sidhi, remembering the hateful words he had told her several times in the last few months.
"I am already dead for you, am I not, Kunal. Your wife died for you years ago. I was only living because I wanted to somehow protect our children until you became aware of the dangers to them. But now I've done all that. As long as you are there, Richa or Abhay or anyone else can't harm my children. I know that. I asked for that promise and you kept it." Sidhi said, looking with pleading eyes at Kunal. "Now it's time for me to live up to my promise to leave you in peace. Don't stop me Kunal, don't stop me. I can't see you in pain like this. It's time for me to leave." Sidhi said, touching Kunal's cheek with her hand.
Kunal held her hand on his cheek.
"No Sidhi. No, never. If something happened to you, the pain wouldn't hurt me, it would kill me that very instant. Even when we were apart, when I did not know the truth and I hated you, I still loved you Sidhi. And you know that, don't you. Ask your heart, if you don't see love in my eyes. If you weren't with me, Kunal Chopra would not survive and our children would be orphans again. You don't trust I love you. Come, get up."
Kunal got up, and pulled Sidhi.
"Look around yourself. Everything I see, this universe, is beautiful today because you're here with me. That moon, every time I look at that moon, I see your face. This world, this life is worth living because Sidhi Kunal Chopra, my wife, is a part of that life. Your love is my life. Your love is my reason to live. Your love is my confidence, my existence. You know, when I believed you didn't love me anymore and left me, I had no reason to live. I had no reason to work or do anything. I just wanted to destroy myself, and that's what I do. This universe, this universe wasn't beautiful. It was dark and ugly, as was my life. I was breathing for only two reasons, one, because of our son. He is a reflection of you and everything he did or said reminded me of you. And two, because you were there, somewhere, and somewhere in the most hidden corners of my heart I believed...I believed that some day you will come back to me."
"Kunal, I know, I know I have caused you tremendous pain. God knows I didn't want to hurt you but circumstances forced me, every single time. I had no other option to save you and my family. God knows that whatever pain I gave you, came back to me. But I know any apology isn't enough for what I did to you. I killed your spirit. I killed your ability to love. I thought you would move on but you didn't and I am so sorry for making your life a living hell. I know you don't trust me and I know my sins aren't worth forgiveness, but please believe me when I say that I am really truly sorry. That whatever I did was only because of my love for you. I made many mistakes, but I never wanted to intentionally hurt you. I just wanted you to be happy. I know I should have told you the truth about Richa sooner. I know I shouldn't have lied to you or hidden things from you. I know I lost your love and your trust..."
"I trust you Sidhi." Kunal yelled, holding Sidhi's shoulders "I trust you with every last drop of blood in my body. You've brought me back to life again, you've built back the faith I had lost. With your love, you've given me life. And I don't want to lose my life again.
But I know, I know I have lost your trust too, and I need to win my trust back. I know you no longer trust that I love you. I know you no longer trust that I will stand by you, come what may, and I will protect you and support you no matter happens. I know I have failed you multiple times. I can't even imagine what you went through because of me. I can't even imagine the pain and loneliness you've endured all of these years. I still had my family, you had NOONE to support you when I should've been there. I should've been there. I was so absorbed in my own pain that I didn't do anything for you. I left you alone to suffer. I failed you.
But give me one more chance. I will never fail you again, I promise. For the sake of the infinite love I know you have in you, look into my eyes and give me one more chance." Kunal begged.
Sidhi slowly looked up to Kunal. Tears were streaming down both their cheeks. Sidhi looked into Kunal's eyes. They were full of love, something Sidhi had been dying to see for almost ten years. There was trust and honesty. Sidhi's heart wanted to tear its way out of her body. It wanted to believe. She slowly wiped Kunal's tears off his cheeks, though more continued to fall.
Kunal held her hands with both of his hands.
"I trust you Sidhi. I trust you more than myself. And I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone. And this time, and ever again, I will not let you go away from me. Ever." Kunal said, slowly, stressing on each word, his voice breaking with the emotion, and hugged Sidhi tight.
Sidhi's heart had melted. In Kunal's arms, she felt like all the pain in the world had disappeared. After many many days, Sidhi felt alive again. She hugged Kunal back, really tight, and whispered, almost inaudibly.
"I love you too Kunal, I love you too..."
Saans mein teri, saans mili to, mujhe saans aayi
Kunal and Sidhi, both cried for a long time in the embrace, letting the warmth and tears wash away the pain of years. They both now understood fully what the other one had gone through in their absence, and they cried not just to cleanse their own pain and bitterness, but also to heal the other one's hurt. They cried out of the guilt for not being there for their beloved when they were in pain and needed them, they cried for all that life and time had taken away from them. It was necessary, this cleansing, for the darkness to find a way out of their souls, for the years of pain to dissolve and make room for the love and joy of the future they both deserved. It was necessary, so that the universe finally realized and acknowledged that these two were made for each other and should never ever be separated again.
Finally, Kunal broke the hug to take a good look at his Sidhi again. Still holding her, he looked at his beautiful wife, bathed in moonlight and kissed her forehead.
"I love you Sidhi. I really really love you." Kunal smiled as he confessed.
"I know. I love you even more than that." Sidhi replied, still sobbing.
"Bas. Enough. No more tears." Kunal said, and kissed Sidhi's tears, drinking them up.
"No more tears. Never again. You have cried enough for a hundred lifetimes."
Kunal kissed her forehead again and caressed her. Sidhi and Kunal were both smiling now. They looked at each other, and as the moon shone above them, there was just joy on their faces, a form of life...their eyes had intense love and passion for each other, and they were both lost in each other with a longing of a million years.
"I love you Kunal" Sidhi whispered, pulling Kunal closer, and planted a kiss on his cheek. Kunal responded by pushing his lips close to Sidhi's ears and kissing her on the neck, while whispering "I love you Sidhi" in her ears, even as Sidhi closed her eyes in pleasure.
Being this close to each other, being finally with the love of their lives, both Sidhi and Kunal were flushed with a wave of passion. Their faces were merely inches apart, as their eyes communicated what their hearts had kept unsaid for so long. Sidhi moved forward and placed her lips on Kunal's, kissing him with so much passion that the universe finally acknowledged that these two were after all one soul in two bodies.
Precap:
Sidhi was lying in Kunal's arms, when she suddenly realised something and jerked apart.
"I didn't let him touch me Kunal. He never touched me."
Kunal looked at Sidhi. Sidhi looked frightened.
"He didn't even want me. He never touched me. Nobody but you..."
"Don't lie Sidhi. He did touch you."
Kunal said, and sat up on the bed.
Edited by teekay - 12 years ago
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