Chapter 21
Kunal got back home early, excited that his case against Surekha and Abhay Diwan for the murder of Ramnath had been accepted. Sakshi had literally cried at the news. The hearing was in a couple of days. Kunal was proud of himself, to achieve what he had done so far in a dead case felt great. He got home, excited, but found nobody home. Except Sidhi, who was lying on the bed in her room with open eyes, staring at the ceiling. She didn't hear Kunal come in, as he had used his spare key. Kunal watched from a distance how lost Sidhi looked, and felt very sad. The whole room looked neat and orderly, every inch spoke of Sidhi. On the wall, there was a new full-blown portrait on Kunal in his lawyers' uniform, on either side of which were pictures of their two sons. But there was no Sidhi. She was there everywhere, and yet she wasn't.
He had to bring her out of her depression, Kunal thought to himself. He went back to the living room and started yelling at no one in particular.
"Nobody can find anything in this house. Is this a house or a jungle?"
Sidhi startled at suddenly hearing Kunal's voice and rushed out of the bedroom.
"What happened? Why are you yelling?"
"I can't find my blue file!"
"So why are you searching it here. It must be inside no."
"How do I know? These days some people keep rearranging all my things." Kunal followed Sidhi inside the room.
"Excuse me. I only put their things at their right place." Sidhi retorted while trying to find the blue file on Kunal's desk
"But I like them messed up." Kunal threw a childish tantrum.
"Fine. Then mess it up. I will see how you will find your files in messed up rooms. God, you're a grown up man and can't take care of yourself. God knows how you lived when I wasn't here." Sidhi paused realising what she had said, and looked at Kunal. They shared a knowing eyelock, before Kunal broke it, continuing his tantrums.
"Oh really. You can't even find it in your clean room."
"Wait a minute, you were working on it till last night and you even woke up in the middle of the night to read it again. It has to be in your bag only." Kunal was a little surprised at how much Sidhi had observed. Sidhi snatched Kunal's bag and started to look into it.
"Here it is. It is with you only no and for no reason you've caused a stir in the whole house."
"I..umm...I couldn't find it"
"How will you? Look at the state of this bag. Papers everywhere."
"Aye. Stop touching my bag."
"Fine. You got your file? You came home early for this only na."
"No..Yes..umm..can't I come home early someday. I am so tired. Nobody's even asked me for a simple cup of tea."
"Hawww. I have been helping you only. I will just get your tea." Sidhi was back to being her cute adorable self again, as she rushed to the kitchen. Seeing this Kunal smiled to himself and settled on the bed to take off his shoes.
"Sidhi!" Kunal shouted again.
"Yeah" Sidhi questioned from the kitchen.
"Where is my white kurta?"
"Wait, I will give you your clothes. Just go wash your face and then have your tea."
"Sidhi!' Kunal called again after 30 seconds.
"Yeah"
"Where's my towel?"
"Inside the bathroom. What's wrong with you today?" sidhi said, entering the bedroom with Kunal's tea.
"Chhhiii" Kunal frowned, taking the first sip of the tea.
"What happened? Something's wrong with the tea."
"No. With your dress. Why are you wearing this old worn dull saree? You look so horrible."
"Achha" Sidhi immediately sprung in front of the mirror. "This looks ok Kunal?"
"No, wear this one." Kunal said, throwing a pack with a new saree towards Sidhi.
"What's this?" Sidhi said, smiling.
"My case got accepted, the one I had been working on. Hearing in two days."
"Awesome, all the best, but I don't want this" Sidhi threw the sari back, but she looked really happy.
"So that is why you came early? Then why were you looking for the while?"
"Woh..umm.."Kunal stuttered."Arey I have filed it, haven't won it yet. Have to work or no."
All through the evening, even as he started working, Kunal kept calling Sidhi for little things, just to get responses out of her. Sidhi kept running around on little whims of Kunal's, inwardly happy as it felt very natural to pamper Kunal, and she had really missed this feeling.
"Uff! Look at you! Who would say you're the father of two 9 year old sons! You're worse than a 6 year old kid himself. I really feel like I have not 2 but 3 children." Sidhi chided in mock frustration, tending to Kunal for the hundredth time.
"So what? You're good at this. I think we can easily have 3-4 more children."
Sidhi looked at Kunal, shocked and embarrassed. She did not respond to any further attempts of Kunal antics. Shortly after, she left the room, unsure of what Kunal's intentions were, but kind of sure she didn't want to believe that this illusory loving world she saw was for real.
Late at night, as Sidhi was settled near the window writing in her diary and Kunal gazed at her through his files, he wondered about how to make more conversation. He knew he'd pushed a line earlier in the day, causing Sidhi to step back and retreat in her shell again.
"Kids are coming back day after tomorrow morning." Kunal finally spoke.
"Yeah. They sounded very happy today. I will make all arrangements tomorrow itself." Sidhi softly answered, before turning her back and going to sleep. Kunal's good night did not get a response.
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(next evening)
Sidhi was in the kitchen, baking a couple of cakes for her children who were to come the following day and Seema was helping her. She had spoken to them on the phone a short while back, and was thrilled to know BA had won a gold medal in maths at his Olympiad. And AC2, too, had won the zonals and selected for the inter-state tournament in a couple of months. Sidhi was overjoyed. She had brought gifts for both of them and was now working hard to prepare for the choicest dishes she could cook the following day for her sons.
Veena came in the kitchen and was enraged to see Sidhi having already done whatever she had thought of doing for her grandkids. Sidhi's face, her presence, still made her blood boil. In anger, she threw down the bowl containing the cake batter Sidhi was working on.
Seema yelled, "Ma"
Sidhi: "Ma, woh...cake" Sidhi turned pale the second she saw Veena's face
Veena: How many times have I told you to not enter my kitchen and not show your evil face around my house? Who do you think you are, trying to show off how much you love your children, when in reality, you didn't even want them? You tried to kill them the moment they were born, and when they got saved because of our love, you didn't even try to meet them. And now you're just trying to show off that you care for them. When will you stop your drama?
Sidhi was crying under the weight of the horrible insults, but she didn't respond, just looked down and stood there. Seema was horrified, and was about to protest when Raj, who'd emerged from his room, spoke up
"Veena. What are you talking? You're a mother yourself, how can a mother kill her own children. And you heard Richa's confession. She's the one who did everything, lied to us, trapped Sidhi and sent her to jail. Do you have sudden memory loss issues? Only a few days back you were saying to me that Richa has made a fool of us and we have been so unjust to Sidhi, now you're yelling on her for no fault of hers."
Veena: "No fault of hers. Look, whatever Richa may have done...I don't know, but it's not like this woman is any saint. Her shadow is ominous. She has always brought destruction to this family. She killed my son Anand. She ruined my Kunal's life and left him for another man. Because of her Gaurav went away from this home. I am sure, I am sure she won't rest until she kills all of us. Why don't you die Sidhi? Why are you still alive?"
"Mom!" Kunal suddenly shouted, entering the room. "What are you saying? Why are you talking to Sidhi like this?"
"How else should I talk to this manhoos? She ruined my children, and I am sure she will ruin my grandchildren as well. Why are you defending her anyway?"
Sidhi, who was crying heavily, ran outside the home at this point.
"Sidhi!" Kunal yelled, then faced Veena. "Mom! Please don't talk about Sidhi like that EVER again. She hasn't ruined anyone, except her own life, to save you, your children and your grandchildren. I can't believe you still don't understand Sidhi. Can't you see, how much of herself she has given this family, protecting us from all harms. She was a young, happy, smart lawyer, and she married me, an old angry loser of a man -- just for your sake. She taught me to live, she took the Death that came for me on her so many times, she saved your daughter. She went to jail for a crime she never did and lived there alone, while all of us hated her. She sacrificed her happiness to save her son, and still got tortured for it. I can't believe you call yourself a woman and can't see another's woman's plight!"
Raj jumped in: "Yes, Kunal is absolutely right. I have been wondering with what face to ask for her forgiveness, and you still don't see it. She's just a mother cooking for her children. Why do you have a problem with that? When she does all the chores, cooks food for us everyday, listens to all your insults...then you don't have a problem..."
Veena: "I never asked her to do anything"
Seema: "Enough ma. If you still don't see it, still don't understand Sidhi, maybe you should really take some time to think. Have you forgotten, how when Kunal bhaiya was in jail, you begged her...BEGGED her...to do whatever she could to bring your son home, even if she had to give her own life. And just a few days back, you only went to her outside the court during BA's custody case and begged her to give you your grandchild back. That day she was very good, but now you've forgotten again. Really ma, think like a mother for once...I don't think Sidhi has done anything wrong."
Veena fell speechless. She started crying and saying, "Yeah I am the worst person here. I don't hate her, I am just scared. Scared that my family's happiness will be hampered again. Kunal is finally going back to work again. My grandkids are together. I don't want anything to ruin this"
Kunal: And who has done this Ma? Who has brought this happiness to you? Who gave you your grandkids? How come I, who spent 9 years in bars and on pavements, have suddenly turned responsible again? Who has done all this.
Kunal screamed, and then went inside his room in disgust. He threw his bags and other stuff, and sat on the bed, holding his head and crying.
Suddenly he realized Sidhi wasn't back yet. He needed to apologize to her and comfort her. He got up with a start and started looking for Sidhi.
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Sidhi ran to the terrace, crying inconsolably. Veena's bitter words rung in her ears and broke her heart. Every single word Veena had just said felt like a stab to her. Sidhi had never got her Mom's love, but she had always considered Veena her own mother. Even before her marriage, when she was engaged to Anand, Sidhi saw her mother in Veena. For her, she had married Kunal. For her, she had always strived to be the perfect daughter. But today, her mother thought of her as manhoos. Today, her mother wanted her dead. Sidhi broke down, and fell on the floor.
"I am sure, I am sure she won't rest until she kills all of us. Why don't you die Sidhi? Why are you still alive?"
But she was right, wasn't she. "I AM a bad omen. I have destroyed this family's happiness. I really shouldn't live." Sidhi thought to herself and stopped crying. She went back to the corner of the terrace she had become used to sitting at and found a few things she'd stored in a box there.
Sidhi remembered the night a few months back when she had come to the same conclusion, but she had suddenly become greedy for her children's love. Children's love was a bad, selfish thing. It made you grow weak. It made you forget reason.
Yes, Sidhi had anyway decided she will leave soon. But why in two more months, why not today?
Sidhi remembered her promise to herself that she would safeguard her children first. But now that was done. Richa would likely be in jail forever. Sidhi had got a restraining order against Abhay, transferred her guardianship, wrote her own will and done everything she could think of that would keep her son away from Abhay. What was more, even Kunal had come to believe in Abhay's craziness somehow, so he knew the danger, and he would do everything for his children.
"Yes Sidhi, there was nothing more to do now, your job is done. If you stay longer, if you see your children's faces again in the morning, you will go weak again."
The darkness that she was staring at, was speaking back to her.
Precap:
"I trust you Sidhi. I trust you with every last drop of blood in my body. You've brought me back to life again, you've built back the faith I had lost. With your love, you've given me life. And I don't want to lose my life again.
But I know, I know I have lost your trust too, and I need to win my trust back. I know you no longer trust that I love you. I know you no longer trust that I will stand by you, come what may, and I will protect you and support you no matter happens. I know I have failed you multiple times.
But give me one more chance. For the sake of the infinite love I know you have in you, look into my eyes and give me one more chance."
Edited by teekay - 12 years ago
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