She sat on her chair staring blankly out of the window.she didn't feel anything.she felt empty.not sad, not angry, nothing.after their heated argument at the temple raavi had come with Anita Di to her maasi's home.her maasi repeatedly asked her what happened but she couldn't answer her.even after all this she didn't want her maasi to badmouth him.who was this person? Yes, she knew shiva from childhood. Their banters are nothing new.fighting was normal for them. But she trusted him, she was never scared of him.she was a phoolkumari in front of him,but that didnt stop her from standing tall in front of him and fighting because she knew he could never ever hurt her physically.yes, he pushed and pulled her around since when they were kids, she did the same with him, but whenever she stumbled due to his slight extra force,he made sure that she never hit anything except for the safety of his arms.for the first time in life she felt scared of him.
Who was this shiva who pushed her away in the function in the presence of the entire mohlla? Who was this shiva who pushed her and injured her on the middle of the road?
She looked at the bruises on her knees and hands from the impact of the fall.
Not only was she physically hurt, but she was mentally exhausted too.he had acted like a beast.burnt down a bike and didnt even care to check if she reached home safely or not.she was Tired of trying too hard.what did she want? Some respect and understanding. She sighed.She knew love was a sky high expectation.perhaps love was not written in her life.first Dev' betrayal and now Shiva's misbehaviour. She wanted a break.she just wanted some moments of peace.
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Shiva felt Terrible. How could he lose control like that? This is not who he is.He was too engrossed in his rage to notice who was trying to stop him and in that rage he pushed her and she fell down.she let out a soft whimper, he knew she was hurt.he stopped immediately and went to her but her friend kajal helped her up.he saw the hurt in her eyes,it was a look of disbelief. Something broke inside him seeing her like that. He was angry on himself, he was hurt and somehow he ended up hurting her in the process.he set the fire to calm down his burning heart,but the rains couldn't let him win. they were clearly on her side.and why would they not be?
He saw her leaving, he silently followed her till he was sure that she was safe with anita and Hardik.
He felt like screaming, shouting and just venting out.even the tree cant calm him today. A lone tear fell from his eyes.she is an angel, and she doesn't deserve to be with a beast like him.she should go, that's for her own good. He doesn't trust himself around her anymore.
It was night when he returned home.she was gone.dhara bhabi asked him a lot of questions but he couldn't answer anything now.gombi convinced her to leave him alone and she reluctantly left.
The room felt lifeless.she had still not taken any of her things, maybe she directly went to maami's house.he went closer to the dressing table and saw the sindoor ki dibbi.he remembered how in her hurry she didn't forget to pack it when they were returning to somnath.a smile unknowingly crept up his lips.he saw the bangles, some part of the stand was empty. He remembered how he broke her favorite accessory in his rage.she was wearing less bangles since that day.he sighed as it made him feel more guilty.
He tried to sleep, but the bed felt cold.all he could think was her. How she would poke him to talk with her, how she would not admit to being scared and make excuses to make him sleep turning on her side.another tear rolled down his cheeks.he shifted to her side of the bed.he found her dupatta carelessly lying there.he had noticed how she didn't care about wearing a dupatta when she was with him.she was growing comfortable with him.and what did he do? She was a pure soul.she ought to be protected from the world.now he has to protect her from himself.He closed his eyes holding her dupatta close to him, inhaling her fragrance. He drifted off to sleep with her memories.
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Days passed.shiva didn't talk to anyone.he was retreating into his shell.he absorbed himself in his work.the family was worried for him, even tried to talk to him multiple times but he didn't say anything.this time they let them solve their own matters.
Things were getting difficult for shiva.if he was hurt earlier, what he was feeling now is something much more than that.he feels like he will go insane if he doesn't see her.he woke up in the middle of the night sweating.he was having palpitations in the morning when he woke up to a empty bed.he tried hard to get his mind off raavi but no matter what he did there was not a single moment in the day when he didn't think about her.he had to see her, he had to atleast make sure she is okay.he had to apologise.he couldn't do this anymore.
He has been a jerk, he will apologize a thousand times of need arises not he has to bring her home.
He was being selfish.for the first time in life shiva pandya was being selfish.he has to bring raavi back for his own sanity.
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Raavi missed him terribly.first she thought he was a habit.but now she feels like he is her need.she hasn't slept one night properly since she came here. She was going crazy.she even sneaked out at night to get some masala from the kitchen and spread it on her bedsheet.but that didn't help.this was not Shiva's essence.he had a warmth, a calming effect on her.she tried everything to distract herself.she wanted to cry, shout but all she felt was uneasiness.she was having a strange bechaini.she needed to see him, feel him.it has not even been a week but she felt that she had not seen shiva since forever.she didnt miss the family, she didn't miss dhara di , Krish, or gombi.they called her everyday, Krish and dhara di even came to meet her but she didn't care now.she just wanted shiva.she sighed as she tried to calm her beating heart.
Her eyes fell on her wedding cd.she has never seen it.she wanted to today.
She played the cd in her room.
She saw him. How he stood besides her,how he did each and every rasam. How he steadied her when she was about to fall.how his eyes never left her during the pheras.how he nodded when suman kaki told him to take care of her.how he got angry on Dev when Rishita was feeding him sweets.how he followed her out.
She cried . After days she felt an emotion.she cried her heart out.she was seeing the man who saved her, who held her hand in her darkest time, here was the man who said what he will not allow her to enter his house.,but he himself took him to his house with all due respect.she remembered how he had called her raavi for the first time.how he made sure that rishita talked to her with respect.
She cried as she remembered the diary incident and her friends words.how hurt he must have felt reading those words.her heart burns at the thought of imagining shiva with someone else.he is living through that hell everyday.her friends mock him for no reason. How could she be so dumb to not see his pain?
She sobbed sitting on the floor.she remembered all the times when he has saved her.her shiva couldn't hurt her.he just can't do this.he will be hurting himself much more now.she thought about how he broke the glass in the function and shuddered.she has to go to him.she can't stay like this anymore.
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She ran to the store.
He ran out to her house to see her.
They both met halfway .
He saw her.he took a moment to let the moment sink in.she was looking pale.did she not eat properly? Of course she didn't eat. From childhood she had a habit of taking out her anger on food.he couldn't see his chipkali like this.
She saw him.he looked like a lost person.there was no fire in his eyes.he tried to read his eyes but all she saw was guilt. She didn't like her shiva this way.she couldn't see him defeated.
"Kaisi hai.."
"Kaisa hai.."
They both asked at the same time.
Shiva reached out to hold her hand but stopped midway.he has lost the right.
Raavi saw him hesitate.she slowly held out her hand and held his.
" Sorry "
" Sorry"
They both said at the same time.
They looked at each other with tears in their eyes.
They wanted to say so many things but neither of them could come up with anything.they held eac others hands and stayed like that.
"Ghar aajaa raavi.please ghar aaja.please." he repeated as he held her hand close to his face and raavi felt tears falling on her hands.he was crying.she had never seen his bhootnath crying.
Raavi couldn't take it anymore.she wiped the tears off his face nodding her head.
She hugged him tightly.she breathed in his fragrance.she wanted to feel him close to her.she held him tighter, if that was even possible.there was no space for air to pass between them.shiva held her in his arms.gently but firmly.they both couldn't stop crying. Words were not needed at this moment.
Shiva knew he has to talk to her about a lot of things.he has a lot of promises to make to her.but right now he wanted to drown in this moment.he closed his eyes muttering sorry a few more times and tightening his hold on her waist.
tried to write something,This is for youu aashuuuu ❤️
Mangal Lakshmi
