Is it just me? - Kinda Controversial - Page 4

I concur with this.

I am from a nuclear family. We aren't too big on sanskar.

Most of the time we don't even have food together. That doesn't make us love each other any less.

I understand they have different traditions and views but I don't think it's fair to have such high expectations from Rishita since they know where she comes from.

I digress but I have to admit a lot of your points are valid expectations on Rishita's part.

She's a newly wed bride in her honeymoon period.

It's perfectly natural to want to spend alone time with her husband.

My problem with her is her behaviour. Or lack of empathy and tact to be precise.

She is a brat and if things don't go her way, she lashes out spewing vitriol at everyone.

She is tactless and hurtful and that is the reason why I am perfectly content hating her.😆

Apologies for the long rant 🙈

y covered- the Pandyas were NOT expecting two couples- they were going to give the main room to Dev and Dhara and Gaumbi would use the storeroom. I assume that it would easily be a couple of years for Shiva’s marriage and they could have planned(assuming an arranged marriage). Also, I think Gaumbi does mention he is going to have new rooms made. I am guessing they would build a new floor. But this is a temporary situation and it is perfectly fine to adjust a little bit imho

this is my first post in IF. Hope I have not hurt anyone’s sentiments. Love to all the forum wasis for all the lovely discussions

Loved ur reply....

I forgot abt this room issue. They planned for dev and raavi not for 2 couples, yet , I appreciated gombi's idea of shifting one couple to the hotel till the time second room was ready. He wanted equal for both his brothers and kept his own needs at the bottom...Shiva and raavi appreciate it while rishita thinks it's her right to do so🤢 She should get the best of everything while baaki sab gurudware jaake rahein, she is not concerned. If dev and dhara thought like this, the boys would be on the road .

I understand dhara must take a step back , but I also understand where they come from and they aren't wrong..

Originally posted by: nushy1995

TBH, Rishita is a scapegoat for writers to promote Dhara and more importantly, the unity of Pandy Family. Otherwise not a single member of this family has ever opened up to her but they just assume she'll be melted by Dhara's kindness.

The biggest blunder had been going ahead with the marriage itself.

Dev gets a lot of bashing for being a mute spectator but he was the only one who actually foresaw what would happen if he and Raavi got married. Keeping his and Rishita's suffering aside, Raavi would never be happy.

THIS! I always wondered why Dev is hated by so many people! Raavi would have just suffered with him in a love-less marriage and that is literally the worst thing in a marriage! At least with Shiva, Raavi has a chance of him falling in love with her cause he's not in love with anyone else and they have bonded since childhood even if they were fighting!!!

Originally posted by: nushy1995

Sure, Janardhan insulted Dhara and his sister (I can't remember her name) slapped Dhara. If you want to honor your Bhabi, don't marry Rishita. Why was it necessary to go ahead with the marriage? Even Dhara requested Gautam to tell Raavi everything but then they went ahead, circus happened and she emotionally blackmailed Shiva and gave Raavi's Mausa Ji the idea to blackmail the poor girl on the worst day of her life.

And now they are being hailed as saviors. Coming back to Rishita, Gautam made it sound like they got together because of ShiVi. An innaccurate statement. Dev had no spine to begin with and the was Rishita claimed her right, on a normal day any girl with lowest self esteem would come out of her infatuation and call off the wedding herself as Raavi did. Heck! Prafulla herself wouldn't get her married to such a guy. But again, it's all Parivar Ka Pyaar they keep on harping about.

GOD, you are on fire!!! 😆The saviour thing was a bit odd to me too! Rishita was right, they didn't have

to get married to each other just because Rishita and Dev got married.

Originally posted by: nushy1995

Keeping aside the crackling chemistry of Shiva and Raavi that everybody keep talking about, God forbids if a girl is married under such circumstances and to a guy who is brash and less educated, that marriage is bound to get doomed.

I think because we as the audience are seeing acting and drama and both Kanwar and Alice are hot so it clouds our judgement when it comes to Shivi couple. However, in real life, no girl would want to be with someone like Shiva with his attitude and his education level! It would be a very hard pill to swallow for any girl! In that regard, Raavi is basically a saint right now! lmao

Originally posted by: nushy1995

Shiva is another Namuna out there. Just because he respects Dhara doesn't mean everyone else will. Even Rishita is her bhabi. He hasn't shown one iota of warmth regarding her but she is expected to do Dhara Jaap all the time. This guy has no problem in shaming Dev about loving another girl. Why? Just because he doesn't have a personal life, can't anyone else have it?

The fact that these brothers can't keep their s**t together is evident by the fact that whenever they are left alone, Shiva and Dev fight. DEv can sulk on his own, Shiva can plot but they can't have a proper conversation and it's always Dhara or Gautam who has to come forward with a Belan/Chappal to reunite them.

Again a disfunctionality which is used to show how Dhara/Gautam is the thread to tie all together.

Like other members have mentioned here, it's easy to portray Rishita to be negative because she's not Sanskari and she is selfish and rude and everything else. I agree with them.

But if you remove the veil of Sanskar, Pandya family members are much more problematic than Rishita. At least she is what she is. She doesn't preach something which she doesn't herself believe in. Here people expect something but can't give the same respect to another because she was not Dhara bhabi's choice.

I agree with everything you say here. Pandya family is quite dysfunctional! I didn't like the taunts of Shiva towards Dev because they were uncalled for. And Rishita says what is in her heart 👏

Originally posted by: HanaKB

Okay I am going to be dumb here but what does petticoat Chalo mean?

Petticot chaap means biwi ka ghulam. Guy acting like a girl.

Originally posted by: _charu_

Petticot chaap means biwi ka ghulam. Guy acting like a girl.

And what's wrong with listening to your wife or acting like a girl?

It’s a give and take situation. If Rishita expects to be a part of the family she needs to act like wants to be. Same goes for the family. Not only is Rishita adjusting to them, the family is doing the same.

Everyone here agrees that it’s Rishita’s attitude that’s the problem. She doesn’t know how to talk and that’s why even when she’s putting a really good point forward, it doesn’t feel good at all.

Her character needs to be dialled down. Regardless of generation, no one should be that rude.

Honestly speaking, she came across as a bully to me today. No patience for that!!

THIS! I always wondered why Dev is hated by so many people! Raavi would have just suffered with him in a love-less marriage and that is literally the worst thing in a marriage! At least with Shiva, Raavi has a chance of him falling in love with her cause he's not in love with anyone else and they have bonded since childhood even if they were fighting!!!

Me too! Now I get it because he should apologize to Shiva ASAP and have a proper discussion with Rishita. But other than that, I have never understood why all the brother marched against him for loving a girl and kept blackmailing him emotionally.

GOD, you are on fire!!! 😆The saviour thing was a bit odd to me too! Rishita was right, they didn't have

to get married to each other just because Rishita and Dev got married.

I think because we as the audience are seeing acting and drama and both Kanwar and Alice are hot so it clouds our judgement when it comes to Shivi couple. However, in real life, no girl would want to be with someone like Shiva with his attitude and his education level! It would be a very hard pill to swallow for any girl! In that regard, Raavi is basically a saint right now! lmao

Exactly! It's not the first time. Have seen in a lot of shows and forum where people cheer for the actors but just try to keep Kanwar out of your vision and think of a bad actor in his place - you wouldn't want yourself to be married to such type of a guy. The heart of gold is another cliched attempt to mask the brashness. You don't expect a good guy to keep commenting on his brother's married life or bhabi even if he didn't like them. Here for some reason we are not reminded of out Swach Bhartiye Sanskar! 😛

I agree with everything you say here. Pandya family is quite dysfunctional! I didn't like the taunts of Shiva towards Dev because they were uncalled for. And Rishita says what is in her heart 👏

Couldn't agree more.

unity of parivar doesnt mean that the husband and wife shouldnt have some private time😊. to sit and eat dinner with the family is nice gesture but always going after devars to tell what they should do or not is annoying..they are grown up men amd should know how to handle their issues..everytime gaumbi or dhara has to make those brothers realise where they went wrong..but appreciate it for atleast they are pointing their brother's mistake. in normal.house hold,no one supports daughter in law and men are treated like saints..

Originally posted by: nushy1995

First of all, thank you for voicing out the obvious.

And no, you are not the only one. I too think they go overboard with their Sanskar and Parivaar Ka Taqat when the reality is different.

TBH, Rishita is a scapegoat for writers to promote Dhara and more importantly, the unity of Pandy Family. Otherwise not a single member of this family has ever opened up to her but they just assume she'll be melted by Dhara's kindness.

The biggest blunder had been going ahead with the marriage itself.

Dev gets a lot of bashing for being a mute spectator but he was the only one who actually foresaw what would happen if he and Raavi got married. Keeping his and Rishita's suffering aside, Raavi would never be happy.

Sure, Janardhan insulted Dhara and his sister (I can't remember her name) slapped Dhara. If you want to honor your Bhabi, don't marry Rishita. Why was it necessary to go ahead with the marriage? Even Dhara requested Gautam to tell Raavi everything but then they went ahead, circus happened and she emotionally blackmailed Shiva and gave Raavi's Mausa Ji the idea to blackmail the poor girl on the worst day of her life.

And now they are being hailed as saviors.

Keeping aside the crackling chemistry of Shiva and Raavi that everybody keep talking about, God forbids if a girl is married under such circumstances and to a guy who is brash and less educated, that marriage is bound to get doomed.

Coming back to Rishita, Gautam made it sound like they got together because of ShiVi. An innaccurate statement. Dev had no spine to begin with and the was Rishita claimed her right, on a normal day any girl with lowest self esteem would come out of her infatuation and call off the wedding herself as Raavi did. Heck! Prafulla herself wouldn't get her married to such a guy. But again, it's all Parivar Ka Pyaar they keep on harping about.

Shiva is another Namuna out there. Just because he respects Dhara doesn't mean everyone else will. Even Rishita is her bhabi. He hasn't shown one iota of warmth regarding her but she is expected to do Dhara Jaap all the time. This guy has no problem in shaming Dev about loving another girl. Why? Just because he doesn't have a personal life, can't anyone else have it?

The fact that these brothers can't keep their s**t together is evident by the fact that whenever they are left alone, Shiva and Dev fight. DEv can sulk on his own, Shiva can plot but they can't have a proper conversation and it's always Dhara or Gautam who has to come forward with a Belan/Chappal to reunite them.

Again a disfunctionality which is used to show how Dhara/Gautam is the thread to tie all together.

Like other members have mentioned here, it's easy to portray Rishita to be negative because she's not Sanskari and she is selfish and rude and everything else. I agree with them.

But if you remove the veil of Sanskar, Pandya family members are much more problematic than Rishita. At least she is what she is. She doesn't preach something which she doesn't herself believe in. Here people expect something but can't give the same respect to another because she was not Dhara bhabi's choice.

I really liked all your points. Dhara is a very very problematic character to the point of being suffocating. I liked the pre leap dhara but this post leap dhara with her sanskaar gyaan and mollycoddling is very irritating and problematic.

I was absolutely appalled at the way she handled Krish’s cigarette issue with Shiva slapping him just cause he raised his voice against dhara.

I also understand your point about shiva, but I also think it what Shiva the character is. From his childhood, Shiva’s character has always been overprotective about his family. And the way Anita dumped gaumbi at Alter had a lasting impact on him. Honestly the entire scene was very intense and Shiva feels Dhara came like a angel to save gaumbi when everyone was saying who would marry him. And post that, never during marriage he felt alienated because of Gaumbi’s marriage partly due to Dhara’s need to mother the kid due to her past trauma with her mom. So Shiva is now unconditionally attached to Dhara and feels the need to be unconditionally support her. He didn’t even question dhara when she asked to marry Raavi. He sort of put her on pedestal and that’s where I feel Raavi will play a role in giving him a perspective on how people can be good and not be his dhara bhabhi.

w.r.t Dev, I didn’t mind his soft nature till the marriage episodes. I don’t fault him to not disclosing his relationship with rishita at home because honestly he felt he had time. But the way the marriage was fixed and the little time he had, he had hard time grappling the situation. But the decent thing for him to do would be to just let raavi know about his feelings and then backout of entire marriage thing. He had been mute spectator throughout and it is irritating. Shiva had constantly warned him about raavi’s feelings, but he had to talk about how he is not brute and harsh and is a gentleman. He should have not married rishita at alter if his family was so important as he claimed, but waha pe bhi kamzor pad gaya, post marriage not a one word of apology. He instead gets defensive and fights.

I am gonna be writing in-line in bold

Originally posted by: nushy1995

First of all, thank you for voicing out the obvious. Haha, thank you for this well written piece

And no, you are not the only one. I too think they go overboard with their Sanskar and Parivaar Ka Taqat when the reality is different.

TBH, Rishita is a scapegoat for writers to promote Dhara and more importantly, the unity of Pandy Family. Otherwise not a single member of this family has ever opened up to her but they just assume she'll be melted by Dhara's kindness. So bloody true! They shouldn’t use Rishita’s character to showcase what has been shown already in 60+ episodes 🤷‍♀️ Rishita could have provided a different angle to the story’s narrative.

The biggest blunder had been going ahead with the marriage itself.

Dev gets a lot of bashing for being a mute spectator but he was the only one who actually foresaw what would happen if he and Raavi got married. Keeping his and Rishita's suffering aside, Raavi would never be happy. Dev messed up by not speaking out in time but koi usse pooch leta pehle whether he wants to get married to avoid the ensuing mess. Dhara also saw that he would be unhappy marrying Raavi and tried at her end. That’s why she went to ask for Rishita’s hand and got slapped. That was painful to watch but an important bonding moment. Loved how Dev and Shiva stood up for their Bhabhi and band bajoed Rishita ki sadi hui family. Dev refused to marry Rishita initially but hungama ho gaya on wedding day 🤷‍♀️ Somewhere I sympathise with the crazy situation he was in too.

Gautam shouldn’t have assumed that just because he fell in love with Dhara, Dev would also love Raavi after marriage. The whole secrecy and kaand happened because of his insistence on this point.

Sure, Janardhan insulted Dhara and his sister (I can't remember her name) slapped Dhara. If you want to honor your Bhabi, don't marry Rishita. Why was it necessary to go ahead with the marriage? Even Dhara requested Gautam to tell Raavi everything but then they went ahead, circus happened and she emotionally blackmailed Shiva and gave Raavi's Mausa Ji the idea to blackmail the poor girl on the worst day of her life.

And now they are being hailed as saviors. No where should they be hailed as saviours. Saviour koi hai toh woh hai Shiva, who agreed to marry a girl he hated just because of his Bhabhi. Keeping Shiva ki underlying feelings for Raavi aside, it was his and Raavi’s sacrifice.

Keeping aside the crackling chemistry of Shiva and Raavi that everybody keep talking about, God forbids if a girl is married under such circumstances and to a guy who is brash and less educated, that marriage is bound to get doomed. I can’t even imagine! 😱 It would be devastating in a real life scenario.

Coming back to Rishita, Gautam made it sound like they got together because of ShiVi. An innaccurate statement. Dev had no spine to begin with and the was Rishita claimed her right, on a normal day any girl with lowest self esteem would come out of her infatuation and call off the wedding herself as Raavi did. Heck! Prafulla herself wouldn't get her married to such a guy. But again, it's all Parivar Ka Pyaar they keep on harping about. In a way, Gautam isn’t wrong on this statement. Dev would have gone ahead with marrying Raavi anyway. Raavi would have agreed to marry him too. If she can marry a guy she hates due to family coercion, she can definitely marry the man who she loves if pushed enough 🤷‍♀️

Shiva is another Namuna out there. Just because he respects Dhara doesn't mean everyone else will. Even Rishita is her bhabi. He hasn't shown one iota of warmth regarding her but she is expected to do Dhara Jaap all the time. This guy has no problem in shaming Dev about loving another girl. Why? Just because he doesn't have a personal life, can't anyone else have it? Agree to the point of infinity.

The fact that these brothers can't keep their s**t together is evident by the fact that whenever they are left alone, Shiva and Dev fight. DEv can sulk on his own, Shiva can plot but they can't have a proper conversation and it's always Dhara or Gautam who has to come forward with a Belan/Chappal to reunite them.

Again a disfunctionality which is used to show how Dhara/Gautam is the thread to tie all together. This sums up the craziness created. There are far better ways to show the bonding without glorifying one character or couple over the other.

Like other members have mentioned here, it's easy to portray Rishita to be negative because she's not Sanskari and she is selfish and rude and everything else. I agree with them.

But if you remove the veil of Sanskar, Pandya family members are much more problematic than Rishita. At least she is what she is. She doesn't preach something which she doesn't herself believe in. Here people expect something but can't give the same respect to another because she was not Dhara bhabi's choice. Exactly! Pandya parivaar is not doodh ka dhula hua. Their internal misunderstandings have resulted in two majboori wali marriages - one Dhara-Gaumbi themselves and now ShiVi.