Is it just me? - Kinda Controversial - Page 6

Originally posted by: 07RB

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Then with her fight with Raavi, i think point was valid that she was with her husband. But if someone else had entered instead of Raavi given that it an open space and everyone is free to walk around. Would she have reacted the same way. I think she is just looking selfish and not recognizing that wrong did happen with Raavi and in some way because of her.

The problem here is , rishita is blaming the family for meddling in their affairs while the problem is her very own "mera dev". She should take some time out and ask him what he wants....bec in all instances , dev sided with his family , not rishita ... If she doesn't care for his feelings, then go ahead and declare panipat ki 4th war on pandya parivar and shout on the top of her voice that she was cheated .

Originally posted by: gurl-enchanted

Yeah, man. Why do they have to change it into a regressive plot? It would have indeed been refreshing to watch a mature Rishita put these valid points across maturely 🤷‍♀️

i am hoping it is to do with Hindi TV ka dramatic touch and they’ll slowly change the dynamics. I am looking forward to this show. I want the writers to make a progress for everyone gradually with everyone adapting to all povs.

i liked what Dhara said today though, she said how can you expect rishita to immediately like me the way you do. She will need time to change and time has to be given. But Rishita is not ready to make an effort, like Dhara mentioned she feels everyone is out there separating her from her Dev and that’s what grates everyone. Her lack of effort. Honestly it’s Dev’s fault for not explaining his family to Rishita. Pata nahi kya kar raha tha namoona do saal...kuch tho bata deta his family dynamics

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

I really liked all your points. Dhara is a very very problematic character to the point of being suffocating. I liked the pre leap dhara but this post leap dhara with her sanskaar gyaan and mollycoddling is very irritating and problematic.

I was absolutely appalled at the way she handled Krish’s cigarette issue with Shiva slapping him just cause he raised his voice against dhara.

I also understand your point about shiva, but I also think it what Shiva the character is. From his childhood, Shiva’s character has always been overprotective about his family. And the way Anita dumped gaumbi at Alter had a lasting impact on him. Honestly the entire scene was very intense and Shiva feels Dhara came like a angel to save gaumbi when everyone was saying who would marry him. And post that, never during marriage he felt alienated because of Gaumbi’s marriage partly due to Dhara’s need to mother the kid due to her past trauma with her mom. So Shiva is now unconditionally attached to Dhara and feels the need to be unconditionally support her. He didn’t even question dhara when she asked to marry Raavi. He sort of put her on pedestal and that’s where I feel Raavi will play a role in giving him a perspective on how people can be good and not be his dhara bhabhi.

w.r.t Dev, I didn’t mind his soft nature till the marriage episodes. I don’t fault him to not disclosing his relationship with rishita at home because honestly he felt he had time. But the way the marriage was fixed and the little time he had, he had hard time grappling the situation. But the decent thing for him to do would be to just let raavi know about his feelings and then backout of entire marriage thing. He had been mute spectator throughout and it is irritating. Shiva had constantly warned him about raavi’s feelings, but he had to talk about how he is not brute and harsh and is a gentleman. He should have not married rishita at alter if his family was so important as he claimed, but waha pe bhi kamzor pad gaya, post marriage not a one word of apology. He instead gets defensive and fights.

Ok so I have made my account just yesterday and started being part on this one from today so ignore my mistakes.

I agree to what you said.

Honestly I am annoyed with Dev more than Rishita. For me she is a bearable character right now I can't deal with him. As Shiva says saara raita isne fhelaya hain which is true. But he roams around like sabse bura uske saath hua hain.

I don't know why people call him a gentleman. Honestly Rishita is having problems to adjust due to him only. He knew how is his family and how Rishita is 2 different worlds. He think he is balancing but no he is only making problems on both sides. Nor he is making Rishita feel secured and on other side making his family feel like this is not the Dev they knew.

Rishita's family is different they are selfish but she is not bad just like Mami is bad but Raavi isn't. Rishita is being not liked due to her tone and thinking she is the superior. She saw the way Raavi came and stood for her even if it was unknowingly but did several times but still it didn't stopped her from insulting. I know she is feeling insecure but she idn't even being considerate of the things she is getting. Her father locked her in room, blocked her windows. Nothing sort of that is happening over here.

Dhara is too much at times and I agree now we can be ok with everything. But I don't think it is about kiss and holding hands or hugging bcoz Gaura themseleves does in front of them. That line came bcoz Rishita said Raavi is spoiling moments so she can only spoil moments if she is wandering outside their room or come inside their room and she did nothing sort of that.

Rishita says some really good points but her way makes it bad and Dev is of no help he doesn't makes her understand. It is due to him he himself isn't happy nor anyone else is. Bcoz only he can clear this mess. He haven't ever said a sorry till now but if Shiva says something or shows him mirror he gets angry.

About Shiva I don't think he finds it problematic with Dev supporting his wife but he has problem that the women they call as their mother his wife keeps on insulting and he behaves like a mute spectator. He is not a sweet guy like Gaumbi he is like his mother harsh tone but loves his family. He is seeing Rishita isn't adjusting even after soo much trying from his family. They didn't told the truth behind kidnapping to Suman all didn't told them. They r hearing her shit from wedding but no one disrespected her in return. She is continously being mean still people are keeping composure and instead of making things fine Dev doesn'tdo anything that is what pissing him off. He has problem with Dev that if everyone is dealing with the things then why 1 person can also take a step forward.

Raavi's character is not someone who is submissive but Idk why they r making her cry and not replying back. She is strong and would have loved to hear her replying back. But whatever relationship I have seen of Shiva Raavi they can hear shit about themseleves but not about each other. I think they will either make Shiva annoy Rishita nor Rishita will say shit about Shiva and she will reply back that'swhy today she didn't got dialouges.

No one is trying to take their privacy. Whole family is giving the couple privacy but time, situation and tone is what matters and Rishita lacks in that and also doesn't try to underatsnd.

Sorry for rambling

Originally posted by: tintin1234

TBH its fun discussion, I really enjoy this conversation. I agree on mostly all points.

But there is one reality: Writers will keep Dhara & Gaumbi's sanskar and lecturing parts even if we like or dislike why? Shiny and Kinshuk ko screen space to dena padega na?

Think about it. If there is no lecturing and idle parivaar expectation. How Dhara and Gaumbi's character fit into this show?socho socho..!

Honestly , I dont mind if they run the show with Shivi and DevTa. Actually I would love that😉

Originally posted by: gurl-enchanted

Hey, I love this show!! Binge watched the whole 90+ episodes in 2 days and I am hooked to the whole family vibe and ShiVi

But I can’t help feeling that they take sanskaar to an unnecessary level, especially with Rishita. Barring today’s episodes, her wishes aren’t wrong. She desires private time with her husband and somehow those things are twisted to show that she isn’t the ideal bahu. Couple of instances -

1. Wanting to explore after the puja. Here, it’s clearly seen that Dhara’s face gets small on hearing that she wants to walk around the markets with her husband. Then, that very same evening, Dhara plans the first rasoi tradition. If you know that someone has made plans already, why must you play the spoilsport and keep the first rasoi for that same day? It was insensitive on Dhara’s part and the whole sequence looked like Rishita was the unreasonable one.

2. In an extension of the same dramatic scene, Gaumbi closes his plate signalling that he doesn’t want to eat, because Rishita tells him that Dev has already had lunch with her and won’t be joining them. Then later, after creating so much drama, Gaumbi tells her that he wasn’t angry and that it was her right 🤷‍♀️ Like what? Decide kar lo pehle ki gussa ho ya nahi. Pehle gussa dikhana and then baad mein mahaan banna is just strange and manipulative.

3. Krish barging into a newly married couple’s room and Dev and Shiva berating Rishita for being angry. I am glad Dhara didn’t give her signature disappointed look and supported her here.

4. Rishita and the sandwiches and Dhara’s unnecessary comment. The girl has made it with love for everyone. It is very easy to tell when sandwiches are spoilt. First check and then comment na? And then they wonder why Rishita doesn’t want to cook for them 🤷‍♀️

5. Dhara’s so called tough love for Raavi. Just because Rishita is capable of standing up for herself doesn’t mean ki Raavi ko jaake sunaoge just because you feel she whines too much about Shiva. What kind of strategy is that? What did it even achieve? Raavi has full rights to be upset. She never wanted this marriage and was coerced into it. Then she thinks that Shiva abandoned her when she needed him. You can’t expect the girl to be okay with him in just few days! Matlab kuch bhi.

I usually love Dhara and Gaumbi and their dynamics with everyone, but some instances are just not palatable to me. Sanskaar ke chakkar mein itna dramebazi is not cool.

Mann.. this thread got me to log in through my laptop and comment😆 Thank you for creating this topic. These points that you have made were so necessary to be addressed. I have read almost all the replies here and while I write this, I believe many more would have been posted already.😆 Yeah, that kind of makes me a slow writer😆

The entire 'Sanskaar' thing coupled with 'Ek Ghar Ek Parivaar' syndrome can never ever leave ITV, all thanks to our TRP aunties who feed off on such melodramas.

I have refrained from commenting on Dhara's depiction for quite a long time partly due to my own ignorance and partly due to the realization that such characterizations will never cease to end. More so, it will be encouraged by many middle-aged viewers. I have come to even accept that she will remain overbearing, interfering, crying and lamenting over her 'mere bachche' in almost every family arguments that would take place.

While we appreciate certain qualities of her, one can also see that she comes with a baggage of her own. The 'Bhagodi ki beti' that she has been tagged all her life plays a major driving force in her trying to become the 'one-stop saviour' for the brothers whom she views as her kids. I think she, in the back of her mind, is blinded by the stigma that scarred her childhood and I believe, it still continues to prevail in her. With her MIL breathing out the same words every freaking minute, Dhara can just never come out of that trauma. I don't know if the family sees this problem of her because all are just blinded by the fact that Dhara is a kind soul. While the brothers are aware how their mother spews out such crass words and Shiva had even pointed out to Dev that Dhara would be the only one facing the brunt of their mother for his doings, I don't think anyone has it in them to address this issue for Dhara. Not even Gaumbi. I would like to see how it pans out in the long run, if at all they explore her mother's track.

Another factor would be her inherent insecurity of not having a child of her own. Even though she has a huge family with and for her, any married woman at one point would crave for someone to call her own, who would belong to her, depend on her for everything. She somewhere herself probably realizes that she cannot have the brothers depend on her and they would have lives of their own going ahead. This, I believe, is where her 'interference' and her new purpose of 'ensuring the brothers' happy married life' stems from. But in the process, she just comes across as overbearing and sometimes even nagging.

Rishita - Like I had pointed it out in one of the EDTs, politeness is not in her dictionary AT ALL. I don't think it will enter her dictionary in the near future too. Insensitivity is a part and parcel of her upbringing I guess. My serious hope is that she is not made out to be the typical vamp to cater to the TRP audience. Her counterpart in the original is loved by many viewers. But I tend to disagree that you can kiss or go PDA in public space. I do find it embarrassing as I have had first hand experience of being witness to my friends going all out.😆 Had they really wanted to romance out in the open, they could have preferred spots that give some sort of real privacy. And thus her cribbing of not getting privacy is downright hypocrisy when both of them are romancing in the Aangan which is family space!

Raavi - She is actually the one who really needs time and space to adjust. Let me just say this. It is not at all wrong to marry a guy who is less qualified or less educated. But in that case, the girl needs to be strong and have the right presence of mind. I know this couple where the guy is just a 10th pass and the lady is graduated. Both are working to make their ends meet. But 2 major differences - theirs was a love marriage and as per the lady, it was his kind, soft-spoken and his sense of responsibility that had her fall for him.

Shiva's counterpart in the original - Kathir in many ways, is the same as the guy I stated above. He is hot-headed, but knows his limits. He never picked up fights with Meena or Jeeva. He had accepted them both whole-heartedly. With time, his temper does go down and he credits Mullai for taming his anger and brashness. Lets see how it goes ahead in thsi version.

Alright. I will stop it here.😆 My comments are way beyond the length of your post.😆 I do have more to say but would comment on others as and when the story goes by.

I seriously am one of those who comes here for their love of shivi ff ,os ,ss.🤪🤪

I have not watched show hardly even a bit. So i am no one to comment.

But what i hated completely was two things:

One dev who feels he himself is a saint bearing every prblm of universe but will nvr evn dare ro talk about the elephant in the room.

Second i felt rishita became totally heartless whn she didn't evn felt an ounce of guilt seeing raavi and shiva being kidnapped due to her father.

There are prblms in characters of dhara , gaumbi at some points but the thing is that can be shown changing graphs with time but these two points where there shld be strict focus loosed their importance.

Ohho! Look who we have here!! 😳.

Looks like someone took my advice on watching a new show😎 & has already become enough of a fan to address quite a few points that I have been myself thinking.

We have had such small discussions here pehle bhi but I am absolutely thrilled to see that so many agree & have so many more valid points to share here after your post.

Things that I have noticed(it's a mix of what I like & not so....) :

1) Gaumbi (I love the nickname) & Dhara have too much gyaan to give couples who have married just 10yrs later to them. There have been episodes with almost 10-16mins of just sanskaar paath from them to the new couples 🙏

2) Rishita, I believe, has always brought up quite valid points that really needs to be addressed for the entire Pandya Family. But as we know even in real world, it's always more about how you PRESENT a point rather than the point itself. And that's what goes under the rug with her Brash & Brazen attitude. Noone would even listen to what she's saying cos of the rude way she behaves. I have mostly supported her cos I believe she's acting like this on a Defense Mechanism. Ofcourse, she feels out of place in a house where all the young adults have been pakka childhood friends & she feels everyone's out to ouster her cos of the way the marriage happened. Only thing, Dev has to make her understand things slowly but if he's able to where'll be the Masala that's needed for a prime time ITV Sitara Show so bhool jao that they'll show her as a character who can learn & understand.

3) Rishita's character is just being made the new scapegoat in the Family Drama as earlier it was Maami but now since she's the mother of Raavi who's a Daughter-in-Law of the house, they can't use her as a negative element anymore. And every ITV runs on this fuel. That's the only reason!!!

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4) I have never understood why Dev is being put down by everyone everytime. I don't wanna offend anyone but that keeps on happening even in quite a few of our FFs here but I take it, we're too involved with ShiVi here & a wrong has been done to Raavi here so it's acceptable in most cases. But eventually he's also the same person, who had stepped up for his Dhara Bhabhi when she was humiliated at the God-Bharai with or without Shiva. He's the same person who went & hit his girlfriend's Father for what they did to his Bhabhi & did choose his Bhabhi rather than his love. So when finally, his love has run from her own wedding, will definitely be killed by her Family & literally left her home to be with him, why wouldn't this sweet person accept her & want to live his life with her. I actually came to like the way Akshay Kharodia plays Dev.

5) Kitna bhi sacch jhutla do. In real life, none of the girls would be happy with a guy like Shiva who has no educational background but behaves as if he's the Jaykant Shikre of the town. Incase the CVs has forgotten overall, Raavi has been dealt with a pretty big blow here. But we're supposed to forget all that cos it's an ITV show & well, they d.o set our screens on Fire 🔥 with their chemistry ☺️ .

6) Khair, I love the witty lines that Krish has & he should be adored & cherished. That boy is ❤️ with all his cheerfulness & cuteness.

As usual forgot to tag for the above post😆

Yes every newly married couple has the right to get some alone time. But the problem is with Rishita is she says everything so rudely. Although I agree with you on that every time Rishita brings up going out with Dev it is shown like she making some illegitimate demand (And on the sandwich matter. Or when she brought lemon water for everyone in the temple it was represented as an insensitive act. Why???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯. Dhara was about to faint. She needed that.) But the family at least trying to adjust with her. But she doesn't even trying.

When she said about the "jhuta khana" she was right from her POV if she prefers not eat someone's jhoota khana. But the way she reacted was wrong.

Gaumbhi was upset. They have been eating together since childhood. It is normal to get upset. I remember when I had to eat separately how my Dad got upset. But he didn't behave like other 'Male elder' person the way they normally does. I am really liking Gaumbhi's character. Except calling Dhara in the middle of night and tell her make him noodles. That woman have been working non-stop since morning. She deserves that rest.

Finally what Rishita did today was without any argument unacceptable. And whatever Dhara said to her was legitimate 200%.

I don't have a problem with a person who stands up for herself. But sorry to Rishita is not an example of that.

First and foremost, Being an independent modern young woman , rishita should have made an informed decision about her marriage. Getting married into a joint family with 4 brothers 4 sils, a sick saas , requires patience of a different level. I have said this before..nobody was as desperate to get married to dev as rishita was. Even dev would have.married raavi and she would be a better partner for him frankly.... rishita literally "barged" into their lives and started ruling over them, calling them old fashioned , and problematic when she is the misfit there.

She was given a " choice " to accept dhara as her mother figure or get lost with mera dev but she chose the pandya family. The same choice was given to raavi when she complained about Shiva.

So every family has their way of living, which can be challenged by the new bahu but not on greh Pravesh..rishita started humiliating raavi at the wedding altar itself. She has no business to complain around "kamra bekar , bathroom bekar, no filter water , no knocking manners , no hygiene, no junk food , no privacy" etc etc . This is what she chose and this is what she desperately wanted.... A life with dev. So this is a part and parcel of dev ..his family included. It includes his sanskari bhai bhabhi, his gunda bhai, gundi saas, Natkhat devar and a girl who was in love with her husband n she is now her devrani. It includes their morals and family values. There is only one escape route..mere dev ko lo aur dafa ho jao parivaar se door. Nobody will miss them.