Is it just me? - Kinda Controversial - Page 2

Yeah exactly! Oh my God, your second paragraph is the weirdness of Gaumbi that I was talking about 🤣 He showed his displeasure and annoyance and then pretend ki gussa hi nahi hai 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don’t get why the makers have to make the new generation bahu so caustic. Rishita had valid adjustment issues without making her semi vampish, unhinged and childish. What you mentioned about Aparna would have been a novel thing to do on ITV. I think only Sai Chavan from GHKKPM puts people in their place without being too disrespectful, and even there I see a leaning towards dramatics. Had they even attempted to legitimise Rishita’s concerns, it would have given the necessary drama and been relatable too. They just want to make her wrong when that isn’t required to get the point across.

How are so many couples supposed to coexist in their small home? What about privacy and basic arrangements? When they have kids, are they expected to keep them in their own room? It can be so suffocating yaar to live that way in a small home 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: journalgirl321

Thank you so much for making this post!

I agree with you. There are certain scenes, especially involving Dhara and Gautam that simply do not make sense (the one that made me go ??? the most was that scene where Gautam dramatically walks out after refusing to eat and then proceeding to tell Dev that Rishita is not wrong).

I had hoped that Rishita would be a character that wouldn't hesitate to question the elders and Dhara and Gautam. I wanted a more realistic representation of the modern younger generation that doesn't hesitate to question authority when they disagree (because honestly, the Pandya family could use some of that). Basically, a character that understands that you can still be respectful of people older than you without silencing yourself completely. But as usual, ITV cannot show that middle ground, and is instead intent on building that one female character that will start the most drama. And honestly, it's starting to feel very contrived and forced. There were several ways for them to show that Rishita has a hard time with adjusting with the family and adapting to new authority figures without making her so unbelievably insensitive, rude, and thus giving other family members an opportunity to berate her. It annoys me, because from what I've watched of the Malayalam version of this show, Aparna (Rishita's counterpart) was much more balanced and I was definitely able to understand her and empathize with her much more because they provided more insight about how she was really feeling. Here, I can still understand why Rishita is behaving the way she is, but I find it hard to empathize with her. Har cheez ka hadd hoti hai, for goodness's sake.

Quite honestly, the most realistic resolution to this whole issue would be Rishita and Dev moving out to start a life of their own, but there is a huuugeee emphasis on the whole joint family concept in this show, much like 90% of the ITV shows out there. So it'll never happen.

Well no doubt from last few days almost in many instances rishita is correct but her approach makes everyone dislike her.

But the worst is overemotional reaction on small things like gaumbi not eating dhara too much into rasoi, chunar nd god knows what.

Worst is Shiva and Dev never disagrres even a littke with dhara nd gaumbi nd so they will always want their wives to do the same almost a forced bonding.

More than Rishita's bad reaction, Dhara and Gaumbi's behaviour must be addressed.

I think though Raavi sided with rishita in bus for shiva enimity, that route was nice but if raavi or someone else in the house sometimes take side of Rishita. Her world revolves very mich around Dev only nd with this sanskaar nd bhashan she will be more aloof with all.

Someone should ininitiate a friendly relation with her and support her sometimes. Mostly her relationship with raavi nd krish would have more potential.

maybe tht girl in the haveli can become rishita's friend nd krish behave nicely with rishita fir that girl. he can tell rishita truth about orank nd they orank shiva together would be fun.

I agree with most of your points. Specially on Gaumbi and Dhara. They should definitely tone down.

Regarding Rishita, her asks were not wrong; its just a way how you ask or say something in certain situation and crowd. She is indeed rude.

Originally posted by: tinapiku

Well no doubt from last few days almost in many instances rishita is correct but her approach makes everyone dislike her.

But the worst is overemotional reaction on small things like gaumbi not eating dhara too much into rasoi, chunar nd god knows what.

Worst is Shiva and Dev never disagrres even a littke with dhara nd gaumbi nd so they will always want their wives to do the same almost a forced bonding.

More than Rishita's bad reaction, Dhara and Gaumbi's behaviour must be addressed.

I think though Raavi sided with rishita in bus for shiva enimity, that route was nice but if raavi or someone else in the house sometimes take side of Rishita. Her world revolves very mich around Dev only nd with this sanskaar nd bhashan she will be more aloof with all.

Someone should ininitiate a friendly relation with her and support her sometimes. Mostly her relationship with raavi nd krish would have more potential.

maybe tht girl in the haveli can become rishita's friend nd krish behave nicely with rishita fir that girl. he can tell rishita truth about orank nd they orank shiva together would be fun.

^^^ This. All of this! I personally hated that scene where Shiva was yelling at Raavi for being "mad" at Dhara and "insulting" her. Like dude, not everyone is gonna be like your Dhara bhabhi, and not everyone is gonna blindly follow her like you do. And plus, Raavi didn't even do anything of the sort. Shiva was overreacting majorly. And to your other point, why has no one in that family taken an extra step to initiate a friendship with Rishita? Why is everyone expecting her to be exactly like Dhara? Agreed she is behaving excessively rude and OTT, but does anyone in that family consider that perhaps she is lashing out as a defense mechanism? I still remember how genuinely happy Rishita was when Raavi was being friendly with her, because she didn't feel alone for once (and I honestly was so excited to see some female solidarity!). Meanwhile, Shiva and Krish (mostly Shiva) are determined to make her life miserable because she refuses to be a carbon copy of Dhara, Dev is shouting at her 90% of the time, and Dhara and Gautam are constantly giving her a lecture day after day about how she must adjust. I just do not get it.

I slightly disagree here.

I don't like dharas interference either ..she tries to micro manage everybody's life ..koi galti na kare , koi galat na kare...everybody has a diff personality, and with 2 bahus , it will be all the more difficult to achieve the balance. Raavi and rishita are not dhara and I believe these comparisons can really drive anyone up the wall...men constantly idolizing other women ( be is their ma or bhabhi or anyone) , the wives don't take it well generally...what dhara needs to do is give all of them some space and privacy and let them fight their own battles. Deal with their issues on their own, even if they falter , they will learn on their own .

Now the disagree part. Dhara and gombi have been raising these boys like parents, they are over indulging but I can't call it bad. It's their way of showing love and concern ..their overprotectivebess have shielded them from all problems till date ..they are a close knit family and rishita knew it before marriage. If she didn't, it was devs responsibility to explain her their family dynamics. Imo the family is adjusting more to rishitas brash attitude than rishita is adjusting with them. And dhara gombi or anyone wouldn't say anything to rishita if Mera dev did the needful. He failed his family and he failed rishita ..he is a spineless mute moron who has the habit of getting everything on a platter.

If tomorrow she and dev were to stay in a separate arrangement , will she get the luxuries she is getting now ? Breakfast lunch dinner , plus all reaponsivilies of the house, completed before she opens her eyes every morning? She cud dream of spending quality time with dev bec his family has been taking care of every damn thing.

Rishitas demands are justified , but her jealousy isn't. She takes pride in putting raavi and dhara down ..n gombi dhara or raavi isn't troubling her at all. Shiva however is overprotective of them and we have seen how he treats ppl who disrespect dhara and gombi..(mami and Anita ) ..

Sandwich scene..it was a normal comment that if she grilled the sandwiches, they would stay fresh for longer.. chalo there I support rishita but dhara was not lecturing or anything..

First rasoi, these were post wedding customs ,it's not something which dhara planned. Dhara didnt say anything to rishita when rishita discussed her pizza plan...But there also I showed my annoyance to gombi, he shouldn't have left the food as it was raavis first rasoi also .

Today ,I would have loved if raavi replied to rishita and fought her own battles , instead of dhara meddling in between. But since nobody was shutting her up, its good dhara did. I know sanskar and family peace and togetherness may not matter to most but it's valuable to them. It shows how much they mean to each other....its love..so it's understandable that dhara and gombi r trying to keep the family together..

Originally posted by: Irshita

I agree 100%. So much so that I have fast forwarded all dhara-gombhi scenes since they came to haveli. Sanskar lecture overboard...

Anyone would go crazy with so much lecturing. Only Raavi can fit in this family because technically she has been a part of the family since childhood.

Characters like Rishita look brash on ITV show because of the saccharine sweet bahu standing next to her.

Sorry to vent but that sanskar/culture lectures drive me up the wall. I also don’t get the obsession with ‘parivar ko ek rakhna hai’. Ek rakhna doesn’t mean ek ghar is necessary. Plus imagine these four brothers have 2 kids each and they bring in their spouses...

Hello, I haven’t seen you much around, so welcome to the forum 🤗

Now coming to your very valid post. Like most of our veteran EDT chippers Namita, Raingoddess pointed out, we all agree with the strange lecturing in the name of family and Rishita making some very valid points.

However, it’s NOT the content of her reasoning but her ATTITUDE of reasoning that irks everyone.

Rishita does make some very valid points but she is so self-centred and caustic when she talks without caring a bit for anyone else’s feelings.

She is downright condescending when she talks.

I sided with Rishita and have always defended her for not singing Kumbaya at the feet of Dhara. But, her attitude is TOXIC but her points are not.

I can understand from where her insecurity stems from. She loved a man for 2 years. That man didn’t stand up for her ever. He was ready to marry any other girl just because of his family. How can she love a family like that? Will she? She literally barged into his space, stood for herself and her love. Her bitterness and insecurities are HIGH. It’s Dev who is problematic and his attitude of a constipated emotional guy.

The family is all love but it’s not easy for anyone to start falling in love with them immediately.

Today too, instead of actually reprimanding her for openly kissing, Dhara gave her a lecture of keeping it to the bedroom.

The world has changed and couples can hold hands or display affection. She should have made her understand differently. Standing up for Raavi was amazing though.

I get where the makers are coming from. The entire India is at the cusp of a transition from Baby Boomers to millennials and now Gen Z.

Dhara -Gautam are those millennials who the older people want to see. For TRP’s. That’s why all the Samskaari lectures.

I find lot of things problematic in the show. Some words:

1. Bhagodi ki Beti- I am sorry but that’s insulting someone’s mother all the time.
2. petticoat Chalo- sexist and very unsettling for a gender neutral society we should be heading towards.

True ❤️ There is a bit too much drama. Gaumbi-Dhara have their own values but they should also adjust as per the new generation.

The funny part is the dichotomy. On one hand, Dhara understands that she needs to become Rishita’s friend. On the other hand, these instances of sanskaar weren’t necessary at all 🤷‍♀️ Sab confused hain and humko bhi kar rahe hain.

I wish there was a better handling of Rishita’s character instead of trying to make her into the new Maami in the house.

Originally posted by: tinapiku

Well no doubt from last few days almost in many instances rishita is correct but her approach makes everyone dislike her.

But the worst is overemotional reaction on small things like gaumbi not eating dhara too much into rasoi, chunar nd god knows what.

Worst is Shiva and Dev never disagrres even a littke with dhara nd gaumbi nd so they will always want their wives to do the same almost a forced bonding.

More than Rishita's bad reaction, Dhara and Gaumbi's behaviour must be addressed.

I think though Raavi sided with rishita in bus for shiva enimity, that route was nice but if raavi or someone else in the house sometimes take side of Rishita. Her world revolves very mich around Dev only nd with this sanskaar nd bhashan she will be more aloof with all.

Someone should ininitiate a friendly relation with her and support her sometimes. Mostly her relationship with raavi nd krish would have more potential.

maybe tht girl in the haveli can become rishita's friend nd krish behave nicely with rishita fir that girl. he can tell rishita truth about orank nd they orank shiva together would be fun.

Uska rude hona isn’t required at all. If they tone her down, she has valid arguments 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: tintin1234

I agree with most of your points. Specially on Gaumbi and Dhara. They should definitely tone down.

Regarding Rishita, her asks were not wrong; its just a way how you ask or say something in certain situation and crowd. She is indeed rude.

Originally posted by: Transference

Hello, I haven’t seen you much around, so welcome to the forum 🤗

Now coming to your very valid post. Like most of our veteran EDT chippers Namita, Raingoddess pointed out, we all agree with the strange lecturing in the name of family and Rishita making some very valid points.

However, it’s NOT the content of her reasoning but her ATTITUDE of reasoning that irks everyone.

Rishita does make some very valid points but she is so self-centred and caustic when she talks without caring a bit for anyone else’s feelings.

She is downright condescending when she talks.

I sided with Rishita and have always defended her for not singing Kumbaya at the feet of Dhara. But, her attitude is TOXIC but her points are not.

I can understand from where her insecurity stems from. She loved a man for 2 years. That man didn’t stand up for her ever. He was ready to marry any other girl just because of his family. How can she love a family like that? Will she? She literally barged into his space, stood for herself and her love. Her bitterness and insecurities are HIGH. It’s Dev who is problematic and his attitude of a constipated emotional guy.

The family is all love but it’s not easy for anyone to start falling in love with them immediately.

Today too, instead of actually reprimanding her for openly kissing, Dhara gave her a lecture of keeping it to the bedroom.

The world has changed and couples can hold hands or display affection. She should have made her understand differently. Standing up for Raavi was amazing though.

I get where the makers are coming from. The entire India is at the cusp of a transition from Baby Boomers to millennials and now Gen Z.

Dhara -Gautam are those millennials who the older people want to see. For TRP’s. That’s why all the Samskaari lectures.

I find lot of things problematic in the show. Some words:

1. Bhagodi ki Beti- I am sorry but that’s insulting someone’s mother all the time.
2. petticoat Chalo- sexist and very unsettling for a gender neutral society we should be heading towards.

Oh for sure. Rishita's attitude needs to change, and I haven't been reading through the EDT, but it definitely sounds like the main point of tension for everyone is not her stance, but her abrasive attitude and way of speaking to others. And I definitely agree with that. I think that this show is doing a really interesting job of portraying that generational gap as well, and I had hoped to see that done in a more neutral manner, instead of throwing a character under the bus just to make one look right and the other look wrong.

And THANK YOU for saying that last part!!! I got so irritated when Shiva used that term to describe Dev. It's so sexist and is akin to calling someone "joru ka ghulam". The double standard is unreal. Matlab if a woman always takes her husband's side, is submissive, and does everything for him, people go "biwi ho toh aisi", but if a man does something to that effect? All of a sudden people have all sorts of names to call him.