Is it just me? - Kinda Controversial - Page 3

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She has a solid insecure side. That can only be tempered by giving her that love and affection. Also, freedom! Dev needs to take her out, romance her and give her time. Poore time kya parivaar parivaar?

Shiva himself needs to stop manhandling his wife. We love his rustic crudeness but he needs to improve upon himself instead of lecturing Raavi. Granted that Raavi was only supporting Rishita to annoy him but still. It would have been nice to have some female bonding without the dukhi face of Dhara.

Everyone needs to chill and understand ki zindagi sirf sanskaar and pooja paath nahi hai.

Originally posted by: journalgirl321

^^^ This. All of this! I personally hated that scene where Shiva was yelling at Raavi for being "mad" at Dhara and "insulting" her. Like dude, not everyone is gonna be like your Dhara bhabhi, and not everyone is gonna blindly follow her like you do. And plus, Raavi didn't even do anything of the sort. Shiva was overreacting majorly. And to your other point, why has no one in that family taken an extra step to initiate a friendship with Rishita? Why is everyone expecting her to be exactly like Dhara? Agreed she is behaving excessively rude and OTT, but does anyone in that family consider that perhaps she is lashing out as a defense mechanism? I still remember how genuinely happy Rishita was when Raavi was being friendly with her, because she didn't feel alone for once (and I honestly was so excited to see some female solidarity!). Meanwhile, Shiva and Krish (mostly Shiva) are determined to make her life miserable because she refuses to be a carbon copy of Dhara, Dev is shouting at her 90% of the time, and Dhara and Gautam are constantly giving her a lecture day after day about how she must adjust. I just do not get it.

Originally posted by: gurl-enchanted

Thank you so much 🤗

Dhara ka extra sanskaari level 100 was achieved in the below instances -

1. When Gaumbi stood up for her in front of his mother, she told him not to interfere and that he was wrong 🤷‍♀️ Isse kehte hain gaali khane ki aadat padh jaana.

2. When Dhara says that Suman ki daant mein pyar hai or something like that 👌 Wah bhai wah.

There should be a meme page on Dhara. That would be fun 🤣

Okay so when Gaumbi stood up for Dhara I was so happy to see a supportive husband on Indian TV and then she argued with him that he shouldn't have done that....LIKE WTF? I would be happy if my husband took my side knowing that I was innocent and getting the blame for something I didn't do! Dhara is a weird character in which she is so used to listening to other people's taunts that she now inhales them like oxygen and doesn't bat an eyelid! 👎🏼

Another thing, Gaumbi being angry about Dev eating at the first rasoi...sorry but this wasn't about Dev, it was about Raavi since she cooked for the 1st time. That was extremely inconsiderate and rude especially since everyone is always giving a gyaan about "HAMARI PHAMILY"...HELLO!!!! Raavi is a part of it now!

Dhara also hid that Rishita wasn't coming...why? Should have been honest! Rishita is a big girl, since she made the decision, she can deal with it! TBH the 3 brothers are coddled a LOT and spoon-fed quite a bit so I am not surprised the parents a.k.a Gaumbi and Dhara act like this!

CONTROVERSIAL:

I didn't agree today with Dhara saying that kissing should just be for the bedroom. 😈 Dev and Rishita weren't making love in the middle of the haveli, kissing is natural between couples, and there shouldn't have been an issue. They legit didn't do anything wrong 😆

For this, I will side with Rishita, but her taunting Raavi for it was rude as hell and uncalled for. And not having love in her life can also extend to not having parents love, since they died so early on in her life which again is rude as hell and I would legit curse someone out for being so awful!

I will give points to Dhara for standing up for Raavi on that point!

However, I am not liking the new generation's values don't fit in with our culture crap. It is PURE BULL POOP! Oldies are not willing to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Just because you are young does not mean you should not speak up or question things. For me, this leads to abuse of all kinds and it is prevalent in our societies and we see it every day but don't question it! I am tired of it!

Absolutely not justifying Rishita’s brash attitude and rudeness. It’s an overkill when she has just demands. If someone is rude while asking for the right thing, they will still look wrong and rub people the wrong way.

Dhara-Gaumbi are loveable and protective about their “kids”, but they need to let go. Allow the couples their space. Stop interfering where it isn’t required. When you have a polarised person like Rishita, they will have to adjust more and not create unnecessary dramatic situations.

Regarding Dev, yeh saara raita usne failaya hai and he should have the decency to apologise to Shiva and Raavi. He does try to curb Rishita but is approaching this the wrong way. She needs to feel secure about his love and all he does is family ke ird gird ghumna. He should take her out, pamper her and explain his family dynamics pyaar se instead of expecting her to just adjust and understand.

The points above are in no way disagreeing with your points about Rishita being brattish and immature, who doesn’t understand the luxuries she is enjoying staying at home. Placed between the petty jealousy and character flaws are genuine demands, which have been blown out of proportion.

Sure, the first rasoi is a post wedding custom but that is also planned. It didn’t happen couple of days after the wedding and was suddenly planned immediately when Rishita wanted to go out? Agle din bhi ho sakta tha 🤷‍♀️

I wish Raavi fights her own battles too. She should have given it back full fold instead of Dhara becoming Enemy No. 1 again 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just reiterating that I am not disagreeing with your points about Rishita at all.

Originally posted by: _charu_

I slightly disagree here.

I don't like dharas interference either ..she tries to micro manage everybody's life ..koi galti na kare , koi galat na kare...everybody has a diff personality, and with 2 bahus , it will be all the more difficult to achieve the balance. Raavi and rishita are not dhara and I believe these comparisons can really drive anyone up the wall...men constantly idolizing other women ( be is their ma or bhabhi or anyone) , the wives don't take it well generally...what dhara needs to do is give all of them some space and privacy and let them fight their own battles. Deal with their issues on their own, even if they falter , they will learn on their own .

Now the disagree part. Dhara and gombi have been raising these boys like parents, they are over indulging but I can't call it bad. It's their way of showing love and concern ..their overprotectivebess have shielded them from all problems till date ..they are a close knit family and rishita knew it before marriage. If she didn't, it was devs responsibility to explain her their family dynamics. Imo the family is adjusting more to rishitas brash attitude than rishita is adjusting with them. And dhara gombi or anyone wouldn't say anything to rishita if Mera dev did the needful. He failed his family and he failed rishita ..he is a spineless mute moron who has the habit of getting everything on a platter.

If tomorrow she and dev were to stay in a separate arrangement , will she get the luxuries she is getting now ? Breakfast lunch dinner , plus all reaponsivilies of the house, completed before she opens her eyes every morning? She cud dream of spending quality time with dev bec his family has been taking care of every damn thing.

Rishitas demands are justified , but her jealousy isn't. She takes pride in putting raavi and dhara down ..n gombi dhara or raavi isn't troubling her at all. Shiva however is overprotective of them and we have seen how he treats ppl who disrespect dhara and gombi..(mami and Anita ) ..

Sandwich scene..it was a normal comment that if she grilled the sandwiches, they would stay fresh for longer.. chalo there I support rishita but dhara was not lecturing or anything..

First rasoi, these were post wedding customs ,it's not something which dhara planned. Dhara didnt say anything to rishita when rishita discussed her pizza plan...But there also I showed my annoyance to gombi, he shouldn't have left the food as it was raavis first rasoi also .

Today ,I would have loved if raavi replied to rishita and fought her own battles , instead of dhara meddling in between. But since nobody was shutting her up, its good dhara did. I know sanskar and family peace and togetherness may not matter to most but it's valuable to them. It shows how much they mean to each other....its love..so it's understandable that dhara and gombi r trying to keep the family together..

🤣🤣 School kids wali lambi chain banayenge parivaar ko saath rakhne ke liye

Originally posted by: vinnas

Bold 🤣🤣🤣 I'm counting 4 bros have set 4 extra +4 already their wives =12 +Suman how all Dance 💃on Yaadon ki Bhaarat 🤔🤔😀😄 😂😂

Hi! I am mostly a silent reader and would like to post my 2 cents

1. Rishitha wanting to explore after the puja:

I understand Rishitha wanting to sightsee with her husband in a new place, but I think Dev mentioned it was not a honeymoon, they were going specifically for the puja, and could sightsee whenever they are free. My peeve here is that, Rishitha has grown up in India and I think she cannot be so clueless as to not know that there would be some rituals post marriage( unless she had been living under a rock). Every house has its set of rules, and I did not find anything weird in Dhara wanting to keep the rasoi the next day. (Growing up on ITV rasoi is pretty much the norm in any show 😀 I assume it is a real ritual that happens) Why should she bend the rules only for one person? It is ok to want to make something for your husband alone, but there is a time and place for that- she could have gone on an actual honeymoon and done all this when they are alone.

2. Gaumbi closing the plate and walking away- I would like to disagree that Gaumbi was manipulative here. I am the kind of person who gets upset, shuts down and walks away(drives my husband up the wall), and with a few minutes of alone time, I am able to put things into perspective. I was thinking Gaumbi also had a moment of irrationality(he did not intend to hurt Raavi) and when he was sitting alone on the bench he was able to think through the issue

3. Dhaka’s tough love for Raavi:

I think that was more of “stop coming to me to complain about Shiva and resolve issues”. This is a typical mommy issue 😄 I happened to get into a fight between my niece and nephew and I got the life lesson that I should not interfere and let the kids fight it out between themselves so that they learn how to deal with fights and boundaries. So Dhara’s action was justified- Raavi needs to figure out how to solve her problems without constantly cribbing to everyone around.

4. The issue with the rooms and privacy:

I felt this was actually clearly covered- the Pandyas were NOT expecting two couples- they were going to give the main room to Dev and Dhara and Gaumbi would use the storeroom. I assume that it would easily be a couple of years for Shiva’s marriage and they could have planned(assuming an arranged marriage). Also, I think Gaumbi does mention he is going to have new rooms made. I am guessing they would build a new floor. But this is a temporary situation and it is perfectly fine to adjust a little bit imho

this is my first post in IF. Hope I have not hurt anyone’s sentiments. Love to all the forum wasis for all the lovely discussions

Originally posted by: journalgirl321

Oh for sure. Rishita's attitude needs to change, and I haven't been reading through the EDT, but it definitely sounds like the main point of tension for everyone is not her stance, but her abrasive attitude and way of speaking to others. And I definitely agree with that. I think that this show is doing a really interesting job of portraying that generational gap as well, and I had hoped to see that done in a more neutral manner, instead of throwing a character under the bus just to make one look right and the other look wrong.

The show is doing that for sure but the setting up of unrealistic standards for the other women in the house is problematic. Agreed, Dhara did a lot for the family but trust me no wife likes to be compared with her husband’s Bhabhi or mother. It’s irritating and trust me, I have seen enough families go through turmoil because of that. The women who come have traumatic stress and are looked down upon. Creates a bitter mental impact on the poor woman who comes to the family. The men need to disengage and Dhara should take the first step. She needs to step back from ‘mere Bacche’. She should make it a point that whatever she went through as a bahu savrificing her happiness, all the more reason for her to not let it happen to the other women in the house giving them space to become men and respect the other women in the house.

And THANK YOU for saying that last part!!! I got so irritated when Shiva used that term to describe Dev. It's so sexist and is akin to calling someone "joru ka ghulam". The double standard is unreal. Matlab if a woman always takes her husband's side, is submissive, and does everything for him, people go "biwi ho toh aisi", but if a man does something to that effect? All of a sudden the people have all sorts of names to call him.

Last part, so true. There are other problematic things as well. Too much stress on feeding people to find way to a man’s heart. Reiterating gender roles. Raavi being called a ‘Bahu material’ because she can cook and dance on the instructions of Dhara. These are very tiny things but reinforce the norms of a archaic society.

Out of the lot, Shiva still does swindle a lot in the realm of flouting some rules. He calls a spade a spade and doesn’t shy away from addressing real issues. Be it Dev from pre-marriage and others post marriage.

Agree with all of it. Thank you for the warm welcome 🤗

Regarding today’s lecture about keeping it in the bedroom, I couldn’t say it better. Dhara needs to understand that it’s okay to hold hands and display affection. It doesn’t have to be limited to the bedroom, but she isn’t supposed to be missing in the middle of the courtyard and then berate Raavi for passing by. She turned that situation into another sanskaari lecture How is Rishita supposed to relate?

The show is doing a poor balancing act between sanskaari and new age couples. Instead of making Rishita the badatameez she is, they could have shown her strong but firm, so that her valid points don’t get illegitimized. Similarly, there is no requirement to make Dhara-Gaumbi extra sanskaari and keep them loving and relatable. Considering both of them are closer to my age (Dhara is 29, Gaumbi is 33), they are acting like 50-60 year olds!

Originally posted by: Transference

Hello, I haven’t seen you much around, so welcome to the forum 🤗

Now coming to your very valid post. Like most of our veteran EDT chippers Namita, Raingoddess pointed out, we all agree with the strange lecturing in the name of family and Rishita making some very valid points.

However, it’s NOT the content of her reasoning but her ATTITUDE of reasoning that irks everyone.

Rishita does make some very valid points but she is so self-centred and caustic when she talks without caring a bit for anyone else’s feelings.

She is downright condescending when she talks.

I sided with Rishita and have always defended her for not singing Kumbaya at the feet of Dhara. But, her attitude is TOXIC but her points are not.

I can understand from where her insecurity stems from. She loved a man for 2 years. That man didn’t stand up for her ever. He was ready to marry any other girl just because of his family. How can she love a family like that? Will she? She literally barged into his space, stood for herself and her love. Her bitterness and insecurities are HIGH. It’s Dev who is problematic and his attitude of a constipated emotional guy.

The family is all love but it’s not easy for anyone to start falling in love with them immediately.

Today too, instead of actually reprimanding her for openly kissing, Dhara gave her a lecture of keeping it to the bedroom.

The world has changed and couples can hold hands or display affection. She should have made her understand differently. Standing up for Raavi was amazing though.

I get where the makers are coming from. The entire India is at the cusp of a transition from Baby Boomers to millennials and now Gen Z.

Dhara -Gautam are those millennials who the older people want to see. For TRP’s. That’s why all the Samskaari lectures.

I find lot of things problematic in the show. Some words:

1. Bhagodi ki Beti- I am sorry but that’s insulting someone’s mother all the time.
2. petticoat Chalo- sexist and very unsettling for a gender neutral society we should be heading towards.

First of all, thank you for voicing out the obvious.

And no, you are not the only one. I too think they go overboard with their Sanskar and Parivaar Ka Taqat when the reality is different.

TBH, Rishita is a scapegoat for writers to promote Dhara and more importantly, the unity of Pandy Family. Otherwise not a single member of this family has ever opened up to her but they just assume she'll be melted by Dhara's kindness.

The biggest blunder had been going ahead with the marriage itself.

Dev gets a lot of bashing for being a mute spectator but he was the only one who actually foresaw what would happen if he and Raavi got married. Keeping his and Rishita's suffering aside, Raavi would never be happy.

Sure, Janardhan insulted Dhara and his sister (I can't remember her name) slapped Dhara. If you want to honor your Bhabi, don't marry Rishita. Why was it necessary to go ahead with the marriage? Even Dhara requested Gautam to tell Raavi everything but then they went ahead, circus happened and she emotionally blackmailed Shiva and gave Raavi's Mausa Ji the idea to blackmail the poor girl on the worst day of her life.

And now they are being hailed as saviors.

Keeping aside the crackling chemistry of Shiva and Raavi that everybody keep talking about, God forbids if a girl is married under such circumstances and to a guy who is brash and less educated, that marriage is bound to get doomed.

Coming back to Rishita, Gautam made it sound like they got together because of ShiVi. An innaccurate statement. Dev had no spine to begin with and the was Rishita claimed her right, on a normal day any girl with lowest self esteem would come out of her infatuation and call off the wedding herself as Raavi did. Heck! Prafulla herself wouldn't get her married to such a guy. But again, it's all Parivar Ka Pyaar they keep on harping about.

Shiva is another Namuna out there. Just because he respects Dhara doesn't mean everyone else will. Even Rishita is her bhabi. He hasn't shown one iota of warmth regarding her but she is expected to do Dhara Jaap all the time. This guy has no problem in shaming Dev about loving another girl. Why? Just because he doesn't have a personal life, can't anyone else have it?

The fact that these brothers can't keep their s**t together is evident by the fact that whenever they are left alone, Shiva and Dev fight. DEv can sulk on his own, Shiva can plot but they can't have a proper conversation and it's always Dhara or Gautam who has to come forward with a Belan/Chappal to reunite them.

Again a disfunctionality which is used to show how Dhara/Gautam is the thread to tie all together.

Like other members have mentioned here, it's easy to portray Rishita to be negative because she's not Sanskari and she is selfish and rude and everything else. I agree with them.

But if you remove the veil of Sanskar, Pandya family members are much more problematic than Rishita. At least she is what she is. She doesn't preach something which she doesn't herself believe in. Here people expect something but can't give the same respect to another because she was not Dhara bhabi's choice.

Okay I am going to be dumb here but what does petticoat Chalo mean?

Oh God, your post is a whole feeling by itself ❤️

The show needs to balance new age independence with old age wisdom. They are doing a poor job of it by making Dhara extra sanskaari and always right, and portraying Rishita’s right ideas as wrong.

I also agree 1000% with your controversial point. I don’t find anything wrong with kissing openly. That wasn’t wrong as per me though they could be a little discreet by doing it in the lush garden, considering their family is conservative. Rishita blasting at Raavi was what was wrong in that scene. And Dhara’s lectures about keeping it in the bedroom are not relatable for the new generation 🤷‍♀️

I wanted a more mature approach to showing the old generation vs new generation tussles. This is way too unnecessary and dramatic. New generation isn’t always wrong and the old gen isn’t always right 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: HanaKB

Okay so when Gaumbi stood up for Dhara I was so happy to see a supportive husband on Indian TV and then she argued with him that he shouldn't have done that....LIKE WTF? I would be happy if my husband took my side knowing that I was innocent and getting the blame for something I didn't do! Dhara is a weird character in which she is so used to listening to other people's taunts that she now inhales them like oxygen and doesn't bat an eyelid! 👎🏼

Another thing, Gaumbi being angry about Dev eating at the first rasoi...sorry but this wasn't about Dev, it was about Raavi since she cooked for the 1st time. That was extremely inconsiderate and rude especially since everyone is always giving a gyaan about "HAMARI PHAMILY"...HELLO!!!! Raavi is a part of it now!

Dhara also hid that Rishita wasn't coming...why? Should have been honest! Rishita is a big girl, since she made the decision, she can deal with it! TBH the 3 brothers are coddled a LOT and spoon-fed quite a bit so I am not surprised the parents a.k.a Gaumbi and Dhara act like this!

CONTROVERSIAL:

I didn't agree today with Dhara saying that kissing should just be for the bedroom. 😈 Dev and Rishita weren't making love in the middle of the haveli, kissing is natural between couples, and there shouldn't have been an issue. They legit didn't do anything wrong 😆

For this, I will side with Rishita, but her taunting Raavi for it was rude as hell and uncalled for. And not having love in her life can also extend to not having parents love, since they died so early on in her life which again is rude as hell and I would legit curse someone out for being so awful!

I will give points to Dhara for standing up for Raavi on that point!

However, I am not liking the new generation's values don't fit in with our culture crap. It is PURE BULL POOP! Oldies are not willing to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Just because you are young does not mean you should not speak up or question things. For me, this leads to abuse of all kinds and it is prevalent in our societies and we see it every day but don't question it! I am tired of it!