*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 108

Baby,why do you cry so?
wiping my tears,my fears they are so near
all that i hold true and dear
are dying,vanishing and i feel so torn
born,unborn,alive and yet undead
i feel there are two of me
both sad,both eyes filled with tears

Baby,why do you feel all that you feel?
smiling sadly,i don't do happy
for happy does nothing for me
sadness i do okay and well for
my stories are born in pain and fears
what is happy baby,but an illusion
the steps that lead down to the darkness of pain

What if-the return 19

It has been some time since we last visited the world of shalini,rahul,mani,Aashritha and DIG Arivuselvam.

After mani killed himself by jumping off apricot towers to save AC Bala and his mother chitra,Shalini pregnant with mani's son quietly puts chennai and the tragedy behind her and comes to live in kodaikanal.

But she soon realises that the spirits of both mani and his mother Aashritha have followed her to kodai and reconciles herself to them.But trouble comes calling in the form of peadophile father john who has an eye on rahul and in the dead of the night comes to the house where he and shalini are staying and although mani warns him,does not listen and is brutally killed by Aashritha who stands guard around rahul.

The body of father john is carried away and placed on top of a large pine tree for birds to feed on but is soon discovered by bird watchers sanjay and meera.

Meanwhile DIG Arivuselvam gets a request from arch bishop james to investigate the disappearance of father john and comes to kodai with his trusted aide,Inspector loganathan and soon the news of the dead body in the forest reaches them.Arivuselvam climbs up the tree in a feat of incredible strength and brings down the body but as darkness fall in the forest,the body suddenly disappears and things become complicated and mysterious.

But mani brings the body back and leaves it in the forest and DIG Arivuselvam takes it and rushes off to dindugul govt hospital for an autopsy,leaving behind inspector loganathan and a battalion of armed police to watch over the crime scene.

Now back to the story of men and dead men and what lies hidden in the darkness.


The loud traffic noises,frustrated blaring horns of the vehicles on the streets outside madurai brought Arivuselvam out of the the much needed ,refreshing sleep that he had lacked the past 48 hours and sitting erect,looked at his watch and saw the time was nearly 12.30 am and asked the driver,constable jayakumar to stop at a decent place for a cup of coffee,before they headed to the govt hospital.

Suresh, owner of meenakshi amman restaurant,a tiny tiffin place on the outskirts of madurai,was tiredly counting the collections of the day and at the same time keeping a wary eye on the three sleazy and suspicious looking north indians who were eating dosas and idlis.The restaurant was run by the owners son prabhu from morning 7.00 am to 6.00 pm and then suresh took over and ran the restaurant until about 1.00 am.But the menu changed after 9.30 and only dosas and idlis were available,since it was the least complicated food to prepare,not that there were too many complaints about that and most of his customers were north indians who now flooded the whole of south india.But along with them,they had brought their robbery,raping and murdering and too often now,most of the cases concerning theft were largely committed by gang members who spoke some strange northern language.

The good thing about this mess hall or tiffin center was that it was house come hotel on his own property and it was good thing that he and his son had started nearly fifteen years ago.But the problem was that it was a bit desolate and the nearest house was nearly half a km away.There had been a few instances of mugging but not much was lost for usually the place was crowded with regular visitors from the nearby Ashok leyland company and few other major multinational factories with unpronounceable german and belgium names.The problem started after 8.00 pm or so when the crowds began to thin and very few people passed through the road and even that was okay for most of the cash collected was deposited in the nearby bank by 5.30 pm by his son.

Unfortunately,his son could not go to the bank for he was not keeping too well and todays amount was nearly 12,000 rupees,not a big amount but enough for people to murder for and many had died for lesser than that.

Just then,a couple of two wheelers entered and parked in front of the restaurant and three men got down and lighting their cheap cigarettes stood watching the road and owner suresh knew instantly that a robbery was about to take place and his hands began to tremble in fear for apart from him,there was just one cook and a helper who doubled as server and cleaner.Suresh knew that he had pushed his luck too far and taking a deep breath decided that he would hand over the money without putting up a fight and whispered lord murugas name again and again and maybe the beautiful god heard his whispers for the darkness of the night on the road in which the meenakshi amman restaurant was situated, suddenly brightened like the day for coming towards them was a large vehicle with its xenon headlights lighting the way and soon lighting lives.

From his counter,suresh stared as the vehicle heading towards their direction suddenly switched on its left turn signal and slowing turned off the road and into the parking lot of Meenakshi amman restaurant and the door opened and out stepped DIG Arivuselvam.

The logo Police was in bold letters of red in front of the windows and suresh sighed in relief and seeing Arivuselvam stood up in deference and respect and hurried out to him 'iyaa vanakkam.what will you have?'

Arivuselvam smiled ' two coffees please' and yet his eyes took in the nervousness in suresh's eyes and then with one flick of his eyes,he took in the three who stood outside and the three seated inside and knew all six were north indians.

He casually looked at suresh ' please,bring the coffees quickly for we need to leave in a hurry.'

Stretching his hands and shoulders,Arivuselvam subtly turned to the driver,constable jayakumar " six men,be ready for action.slow and carefully.'

The three men standing next to their two wheelers were about ten feet away from Arivuselvam and still stretching and massaging his neck,he asked loudly ' excuse me,is there a toilet here' and with that subtle distraction,Arivuselvam closed the gap to the three men and in a blink of an eye reached to his side and brought out his handgun and in the quiet,cool night,the click of the safety button on the gun was as loud as thunder and aiming it at the three ' Id's please' and in the corner of his right eye,he saw with satisfaction,constable jayakumar aim his rifle at the three.

Desperate people in desperate situations will make desperate moves and criminals who have been in and out of jail sometimes feel that fighting and dying would be a better thing than go back to prison.

The three men did not show any signs of panic or desperation,which arivuselvam understood and realised that these were hardened criminals and he saw the middle man slowly shake his right arm and a knife slithered from its hiding place and in the night lights,the knife peeped out of his full arm sleeve and it reminded Arivuselavm of the flickering tongue of a poisonous snake and he looked into the mans eyes ' i will warn you just once(main sirph ek baar aapako chetaavanee dega)don't try anything stupid'

No sooner had he spoken the warning,the eyes of all three changed from wary to danger and then there was no warning from Arivuselvam and it would not be needed for a single bullet flew from his hand gun and hit the man in his right wrist and it was enough and it was over.

All three dropped their weapons and fell to their knees and asking jayakumar to cover them,Arivuselvam ran towards the restaurant,but no force would be necessary for the three inside were novices and were the distraction for the three outside to do the dirty job of hurting and killing.

Arivuselvam asked the owner suresh,if there was a rear exit and when the man nodded in assent,asked him to lock it from the outside and then asked suresh to clear out with his cook and the young man who was the cleaner.

Herding the the three men who had been standing outside,he shoved them into the hotel and asked jayakumar to bring down the shutter and lock it.He then asked constable jayakumar to go stand guard outside the rear entrance and ordered him to be on constant guard and not to take his eyes of the doors and also told him to shoot first if they criminals tried to break open the doors.

Taking out his mobile,he dialed the madurai police control room and after telling them who he was asked them to send am armed police team immediately to the spot where he was.

Ten minutes later,siren noises filled the air from all directions as vehicles of highway patrols,city patrols sped towards meenakshi amman restaurant and soon Inspectors,sub inspectors and constables ran towards DIG Arivuselvam and respectfully saluted him.

With his handgun raised,he told the others to be on guard and asked one of the constables to raise the shutter and also loudly yelled to the criminals inside 'we are opening the shutter and no sudden moves or tricks for we will shoot first and then ask questions later if any of you are alive.Do you understand? say yes if you do understand'.

From inside,a weak voice ' ha saab,teek hai saab,hum kuch nahi karega saab.'

The shutter opened and all six came out with their heads bent and just then the vehicle of Assistant commissioner govindraj entered and the AC himself jumped out and ran towards Arivuselvam and saluted him .

DIG Arivuselvam looked at AC Govindraj ' take all their finger prints and check them with all the fingerprints you found the recent crimes in and around madurai and dindigul and i bet you will solve many cases.I want a detailed report mailed to my office and also keep updating me with any new developments.'

Then laying a hand on AC Govindraj ' govind,check all the murder cases,especially ones unsolved in remote houses and hotels.I am sure most of you will get promoted for this.All the best gentlemen.The case is yours now for i am off on my own work.'

AC Govind ' sir,sorry sir.But this is your case and you should be the one to get the credit not us sir.'

DIG Arivuselvam smiled and winked his eye at everybody 'that secret is between me and all of you.Once this is over,all of you will get cash prizes from the govt and medals from the DGP and also the chief minister.All of us work so hard and for such little rewards and pay and so it is okay for us to bend and twist the information for it to suit us.All the best gentlemen.'

One AC,Three Inspectors,twenty armed constables all stood in total attention and respect and saluted him and stood watching as the vehicle carrying DIG arivuselvam sped away into the night towards the madurai govt hospital.

I think too much
I read too much
I dream too much
I worry too much
I ask too much
I see too much
I care too much
I write too much
I express too much
I dwell and delve too much
I laugh too much
I cry too much


This is too much,too,too much

But aren't all this the ways to live,to love,to give and to get back.

My wise wife looked at me calmly and sweetly 'irukarathu saaptu,moodittu pesama padu.'

And wise me ' okay madam.'

Jannal oram 62

In French, you don't really say "I miss you, you say "Tu me manques which means "You are missing from me.

Raman walked out of mr.krishnaswamy iyers room and stopped outside for a moment about the case that his boss had just mentioned and wondered at what the world was going through and why it was going through.His eyes travelled around the office and came to rest on the wall clock which showed 12.55 pm and his heart racing,he tentatively picked up the mobile and called jeeva.

' jeeva,i won't be able to see you today evening for i have to meet someone regarding a new case.I am sorry,really sorry'. The moment raman ended his apology,jeeva angrily ' baby,so what if we cannot meet up in the evening.you can drop in home for dinner and we can spend time then.That's it.'

Raman did not know what to say but he said it anyway for his mind told him to say it for it was the right thing to say it ' jeeva,i can't keep dropping in to your home,every so often for that doesn't feel right and sooner or later,people will talk.Let our families meet up and then i will drop in home and even hide under your cot at night.'

Jeeva chuckling ' under my cot.mister,i want you under my sheets,better still under my clothes if that is not too much of a problem for that is how i sleep every night,holding you close to me,tightly and never wanting to let go.'

Raman''s poor heart skipped beats and raced even faster and then a thought came to his mind ' jeeva,i can be in my cabin in half an hour's time.come have lunch with me and even if it is just a few minutes,it will make my day and moreover i have to pick up my car from the court's premises and well,that will be one less of a headache to worry about.'

Jeeva happily ' okay.see you in your cabin raman.Bye.'

Raman hurried to the office secretary's table and dropping a couple of hundred rupee notes,flashed a charming smile ' jenny,i hope that covers the lunch bill.I am going out and will be back by three or at the most four pm.If anything,call me on my mobile.Bye.'

Jenny,65 and still going strong shook her head ' the man is in love,unless he has won some billion dollar jackpot and knowing raman,that won't do anything to his mood.so,love it is' and went back to her work,reminiscing about the good old days of her youth and the many suitors who had chased after her and the man robert she had finally married.

The cab took 25 minutes to reach the court and raman hurried towards his cabin and spotting muthu,he took out his purse to order lunch.But muthu ' no boss,madam already ordered and gave money and she waiting' and hurried off to buy lunch for the lovers.

Raman climbed the stairs,flew over the stairs and turned left and took the corridor that would lead him to his chambers and slowing down,he took deep breaths to calm his heart and there she stood outside his chambers,looking down on the world below.

Jeeva looked up to her left and raman's heart skipped a beat and both stood twenty feet away looking at each other,eyes only for each other,full of love and he walked towards her and both entered the cabin and raman took jeeva in his arms and held her,hugged her tightly and kept holding her.

' each time i think i love you,a new thought of you springs up in my soul and i realise that my love has increased even more and threatens to burst the walls of my heart' and he looked at her and seeing the tears of happiness in her eyes,raman gently took her lips in his and they exchanged a soft,delicate,loving,tender kiss and jeeva looked into his eyes ' that was the most beautiful kiss you have ever given me.'

Have you ever missed someone so much that even the thought of them made you burst into tears?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rT46hVQHIA

Love Story - Originally sung by Andy Williams

Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start

With her first hello
She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love, another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
She fills my heart

She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs , with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go I'm never lonely
With her around, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand-it's always there

How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there

Redemption 203

"Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."


Chakravyuh Redemption-episode 132(page 87)

Rudran left and quickly walked through nearly half a km of corridors and came up to the office of Chakravuyh,although the board just declared innocently " Board for Human resources and services " which never failed to amuse him.

If anyone should walk in to the office accidentally,they would find a small room with three middle aged secretaries hard at work,typing,reading and correcting but then they would retreat or be sent away by gruff and irritated stares and never know what lay behind the door that looked like the entrance to a bathroom.

Rudran opened the door and then punched in a security code on the keypad and the metal door swung open allowing him into a small room in which stood two armed men from an unknown elite commando force and they immediately stood straight and saluted rudran for he was their commander and trainer.

But then they watched him as he placed his eye in the retinal scan and it flashed green and then he whispered " Rudran" into the voice activation pad and only then did the Bullet proof glass door open and allow him entry.
But to the world outside,this secret place was unknown and will never be known.

This was one of the most important places among the many that lay hidden all over the country and they were the nerve centers of the Indian security and spy network.Many lives who posed a threat that was known and unknown were sent to their graves from orders that stemmed from this place.

This was a place,a wall that kept India safe from harm and from war.Hundreds,thousands of patriots had willingly laid down their lives in daring,secretive missions and their names were whispered with respect in these halls and their faces adorned the walls among these corridors,reminding everyone what was at stake.

Rudran stood still in front of one particular wall,which had ten men and three women's faces smiling out from the photos and bending his head in respect,whispered " Wish me luck and save a place for me among you for i know one day i will join you all on these walls.Stand by me as i go to wage war and rain death on those who dare to rise against us.Grant me Redemption my fellow comrades.Jai hind."


Right now in the belly of chakravyuh

Gen.Veer singh,head of chakravyuh,Major.param,Sujinder khanna,head of RAW were all seated and staring at the large screen that kept flashing images of one man who was going through the security of airports and the same man was caught going through all the major airports in europe and north america.

All three turned as the doors hissed open and in walked rudran and wished them all and then pulled up a chair and sat next to param,behind veer singh and sujinder khanna.

Gen.veer singh turned to his right and looked at Rudran 'sorry rudran for calling you in so urgently and what with your wedding fixed for tomorrow and the boss himself is flying in for it.'

' it is okay sir for my work is more important than my personal life and it looks like that i and all of us are really needed here at this moment.'

RAW chief Sujinder khanna whispered aloud ' it must be good to have a private jet at your disposal' and rudran 'sir,we do our best and manage with what is given to us.'

Sujinder turned ' you know beta,when i got married,i didn't even get a bajaj scooter and that too i was promised by my father-in-law and sadly he is no more and now i might have to buy a car for my future son-in-law.see,how our fates work.'

All of them had a hearty laugh hearing the country's Intelligence dept head crib and cry and then Gen.Veer singh spoke to everyone ' i am not sure what all these images mean but who is this man and why is he travelling so extensively and that too all over the world using different passports.'

Major.param gave a sheet with numbers that showed dates and timings and Rudran quickly scanned it and gave it back to param.

RAW chief Sujinder khanna stood up and looked at all three of them ' guys,i am supposed to brief the defence minister Mr.Shashikant yadav in an hours time and i need something to show to him for it will look bad if i walk in empty handed and without any clue as to what the heck all these intel sent from mossad means.'

All three turned to Rudran and gen.veer ' Rudy my boy,i know how your mind works and i am hundred percent sure that you have squeezed some info out of these pics and are still processing it in your computer brain.But if you can shed a little bit of light as to in which direction your thoughts are going,maybe we can pitch in and come up with a different perspective.'

Rudran smiled ' sir,you think too much of me and i assure you that i am not all that you gentlemen think i am.'

Major param sniggered 'if only all the men and politicians we work with have the same decency and character as you possess,it will make our jobs of guarding this nation that much easier and simpler.'

Rudran stood up and reached for the remote and with a soft click on a button,images slowly began to slide across the large screen and all of them showed the same man,good looking but very dangerous and maybe downright evil too.

The screen flashed the same images thrice and then rudran switched off the slide show and in the dim lights of the conference room stared at all three of his colleagues.

' okay,firstly,what do guys make of all these images?' and one by one everyone answered that it was a male probably indian or middle eastern origins who was going in and out of major airports all the world.

Rudran nodded ' first point,we seem to be confused about is the looks of the man and with all this experience we have in this room,we are still unable to pin point which country this man might belong to.Secondly' and he paused dramatically and looked down at the ground and then composing himself slowly looked into all three of the men's eyes ' we have seen ten images of the same man boarding or exiting international airports from all around the world.But what if i tell you that it is not one man but ten different men in all these images.'

It was like someone had thrown a large bomb into the room and unknown to them,a terror seemed to descend on all of them and all three stared at Rudran.

' And i think i know where they are all headed and i am pretty sure that they have already reached their destination.

What if-the return 20


The speed of the vehicle had drastically slowed down to a crawl and DIG Arivuselvam turned to constable jayakumar ' mr.jayakumar,why are you driving so slowly?Is there a problem with the vehicle,which i don't think there is for the engine sounds pretty smooth.So,why have you slowed down so much?'

Constable jayakumar looked at him and with hesitation ' just to spend a little more time in your presence,sir.For once i drop you off,then i will go back to my barracks and back to driving other armed policemen and maybe i might not see you and even if i do so i am pretty sure that i will not be able to interact with you like i am doing right now,leave alone be in such close proximity.'

His voice choked with emotion and controlling his anger,sadness,he looked at Arivuselvam ' iyya,you are a DIG,one of the youngest in the history of our indian police dept and yet you have only addressed me with a mister and with dignity throughout this evening.Whereas,our head constables,sub-inspectors,Inspectors and other higher ranking officials treat us with very little respect and look at us like something that has crawled out of the sewers.Forget that,even the general public recoil from us when we are in uniform and also out of it.It is as they are able to smell a policeman a mile away.But,it is because of men like you that we are still able to get some respect and i thank you for that.'

Arivuselvam smiled ' Thank you jayakumar,thank you very much and your words mean a lot to me.I understand you and my fellow policeman's situation but there is nothing much i can do about it and what little i can do i do,quietly and subtly.'

" DIG sir,you just arrested a six member gang and even i a lowly constable realised that all of them were pretty deadly criminals and must have been surely involved in many crimes and yet you handed the case to the Assistant commissioner and the others on a plate and walked away.Do you know how rare and incredible a feat that is and sorry if i am emotional about it,but you are now my hero and will remain so forever.'

DIG Arivuselvam smiled 'Mr.jayakumar,we are just public servants,employed by the government to help the people and protect them.The govt themselves are public servants who are elected and employed by the public and so in the end we are paid money to do our duties.But what is significant is that our police dept are given a lot of freedom in how we treat criminals and suspected criminals and that power is many a time misused to scare not only criminals but also the innocent public and soon many good cops become criminals themselves,but with the power of the khaki uniform.'

Looking at jayakumar ' i am sorry but it is not going to change very soon and i don't have the power to do anything about it for in the end i am just another cop,another employee of the govt and can be transferred to any corner of india if the higher powers think so.I do what i can,as quietly as i can without ruffling any feathers and well life goes on and i confess that i have been lucky so far in my career.'

Constable jayakumar ' sir,truly you are an incredible human being and you would have risen to the top no matter what profession you were in.You know sir,when a policeman dies,very few attend his funeral and even fewer will walk with him to the burial ground for his final departure.The public hate cops so much that i think many heave a sigh of relief when a policeman dies.'

Arivuselvam gently patted the constable's shoulder ' Listen jayakumar,we all are given our lives for a certain purpose and we need to do that with the utmost integrity and respect.we think we are immortal but we have such little time in this world and it vanishes past us before we even know it.I as a police officer think that my duty is not only to the public but to all my fellow human beings.Give respect and get respect.Treat everyone like you want them to treat you.with love and respect and trust.Simple things,basic rules of life and they are more important than the ten commandments that moses brought down from the mountains where he is supposed to have met god.'


Suddenly he looked at constable jayakumar ' don't go to the govt hospital but drive towards the madurai medical college' and quickly dialed a number from memory and a sleepy voice answered ' dean here,who is this stupid idiot calling me at this late hour? you better have a good reason otherwise i am going to hand over this number to the police and ask them to trace you and arrest you for harassing me.'

' Dean sir,sorry sir.Very important doubt.Neenga verum deana,ille lord labaku deana?'

Hearing the DIG speaking these words,constable jayakumar smiled and thought to himself that inside the great man,lay a comic genius and a naughty man.

Arivuselvam waited for the few seconds it took for the man he had called to recognise and realise who was calling him and it came ' yei arivu,dei ennada ithu,why are you calling me at this time? are you hurt? are you okay? where are you right now?'

' Dean sir,how many questions will you ask in one breath ? But i am okay and i need your help and i need it immediately.'

DIG Arivuselvam spoke quickly and was about to end the call when Dean muthu spoke ' Arivu,it will be nice if you came home later and saw us both.Breakfast or lunch,anytime will do for it has been a long time since we met up and since you met nirmala.She will be really happy and so will i.Will you come home?'

Arivuselvam said yes and ended the call.

Vairamuthuraja,Dean of madurai medical college picked up the phone and made a a few calls slowly went back to sleep.His wife nirmala asked him who it was calling at this late hour and he looked at her ' who else but that monkey boy who you wanted to adopt all those years ago.'

Nirmala ' Arivu.Arivu called and you didn't give me a chance to talk to him.God,it has been such a long time since we met him and now he is a super cop and we get to see him only in the newspapers.'

Both laid their heads and their memories went back to the time when both had been newly married and came to live next to Arivuselvam's ancestral home in madurai and how he stole their hearts.

Doctor Natesan,head of the pathology dept stood waiting outside the doors for the rear entrance of the madurai medical college and watched carefully as a police vehicle drove towards them and stopped and out stepped DIG Arivuselvam who looked at them ' thank you very much for doing this and at such a late hour.'

Professor natesan looked at him with his calm and old eyes ' Mr.arivuselvam,any irritation that arose when the dean called is now gone for i think that with this body you are also lighting up my rather mundane and boring life spent on those who committed suicide and who were murdered.But if you are here then that means something really important is up and i am all for it.'

He turned to two of the hospital attendants ' take the body and leave in in my dept and please,no photos.'

DIG Arivuselvam turned and glanced at jayakumar,who nodded and quickly followed the two hospital staff who are slowly pushing the body away into the wombs of madurai medical college and soon the body of the dead father would lie naked and all secrets would be revealed.

Professor natesan,head of the pathology dept in madurai medical college looked at Arivuselvam ' DIG sir,that was the body of a christian priest and if i am not mistaken it must be the dead man who everybody is talking about and who was found on top of a pine tree in the forests of kodaikanal.'

Arivuselvam nodded ' yes sir,it is the same and i want you to tell me who or what killed the priest and how they did the killing?'

Professor natesan looked at the night sky and at the dimly lit corridors of the medical college and rubbed his hands in excitement' A DIG,A dead priest and questions.Hmmm,well my dear fellow,the hunt is on.let me do my bit of hunting and discovering and we will see what needs to be seen? follow me mr.arivuselvam.'


Far away in kodaikanal,ponni,the old female lab waited for her friend to come back for she needed to take him to the spots where many smells had wafted from and into her hyper sense of smelling.She waited patiently for DIG Arivuselvam to come back and to lead him to the area where many lay in the ruins of death.

Many who had dared to step rudely into the lives of Shalini and her son Rahul.For between them and the others stood Aashritha and she was not forgiving and she never took prisoners and only took the dead to her own personal grave yard.


"A patient on the way to surgery travels at twice the speed of a patient on the way to the morgue. Gurneys that ferry the living through hospital corridors move forward in an aura of purpose and push, flanked by caregivers with long strides and set faces, steadying IVs, pumping ambu bags, barreling into double doors. A gurney with a cadaver commands no urgency. It is wheeled by a single person, calmly and with little notice, like a shopping cart. Mary Roach, Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers

Jannal oram 63

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone-Orson Welles

They stood staring into each others eyes and raman whispered ' are you that same woman from the bus who has been haunting my life the past three years' and Jeeva ' you know what i feel like doing to you right now?' and raman with a smile ' what do you want to do with me,ma'am?'

Jeeva seeing his smile ' i feel like swallowing you whole and keeping you safe in my body and so that we don't have to be separate anymore and then i won't have to hurt anymore.But thanks for this spontaneous lunch idea for after being with you,in your arms and in your presence,i feel so lost and empty without you.'

Raman hugged her more tightly and kissed her forehead tenderly and protectively and jeeva whispered with her head buried in his chest ' only now in your arms and being so much in love with you, i am able to believe all those love stories and love songs that i have heard and read.'

Lifting her head,with tears of happiness in her eyes ' raman,i love my parents and i feel like a mother to my sister suja,but with you it feels so much different and so much more powerful and i feel guilty for feeling more for you than my i do for my family.'

Raman softly kissed both her eyes and placing softer kisses on both her cheeks ' baby,i understand perfectly what you are expressing for i feel the same way and there is nothing to be guilty about for we all come alone and come seeking for the one who will complete us and fill our lives with their light.Like you said,i too have read many great english classics and have spent hundreds,thousands of nights lying awake listening to tamils songs of old and new and wondered how beautiful and yet how mysterious this love is.But now i know for with every sight of you,with every touch of your lips,i too feel like writing songs like kannadasan,compose music like ilayaraja and dance like prabhu deva' and smiling he looked at her shyly ' the best part is i feel like doing all that in the middle of a case in court,in the middle of my office and while sitting in the car thinking about you.'

Jeeva searchingly gazed up at his eyes ' raman,promise me that you will never abandon me,whatever the situation and whatever my crime.promise me you will stand by my side even when i can be a bit of pain,a bit of a bully for i will die if you walk away from me.'

Raman gently clearing the few strands of hair that had fallen on her forehead ' promise' and then muthu knocked on the door and entered the small chamber with their meals and looked at them ' akka,boss,you make a great jodi.please,when you go home,do drishti for people's eyes are very evil and you both looks so beautiful in love and people cant stand that' and left them with their food.

Jeeva looked at raman,who was washing his hands in the tiny basin ' raman,why do people,married people fall out of love and live such lonely lives stuck in a loveless marriage.'

Raman folded the sleeves of his white shirt and took out the food and removed the covers and the next moment,the pair of crows flew up to his window sill and cawed loudly for attention and food.

Raman took out some curd rice and gently placed it on the sill and came back and sat next to jeeva ' A very important and pertinent question and a question that is asked everyday in the family courts on this premises.But to answer the question,i don't know jeeva,i really don't know if there is a perfect answer or a solution to people who fall out of love and who feel lost and lonely in their marriages and feel that their partners are bored with them after a few years of marriage and children.'

Jeeva looked at him ' will you get tired of me when i become old and ugly?' and raman tearing a piece of chapati and dipping it in the small cup of dal ' i doubt if you will be ugly for your mother looks hot even at this age.so being her daughter and being more beautiful than her,i seriously doubt if you can be ugly.'

Jeeva reached to his face and wiped the small piece of dhal that had dropped on to his chin and raman continued ' but i am sure you will find me a bit ugly for my dad is not all that hot to look at now and he has lost his hair and i fear that i too will be bald by the time i am sixty or so.So,i have to worry about you getting bored with my looks,not you.'

' you know raman,just a few moments ago when you held me so tenderly,protectively,i realised that more than looks and great sex what is important is love,trust,affection and i am sure everything else will fall into place or soon follow.I am so comfortable and safe with you and i think that is how the foundations of great love are laid .'

Placing a spoon of sambar sadam in her mouth ' i keep hearing and reading such horrible and tragic stories about lovers,girls being stabbed to death by their boyfriends and getting raped after being drugged and photos and videos taken without their knowledge and all of it done by the very men who they love and trust.Being a woman,this fear is very natural and so we worry not only about our souls but our bodies.

The other day,when i asked you to park the car and told you that i would walk from there to my house,you didn't protest or tempt me to go to your house,even though you knew that it was what i and you wanted.Even though you knew that i was waiting for you to make the move and honestly i prayed to god that it would happen,that you would force me to your house,so that we could have made love.But you didn't and you stopped the car and let me go and then patiently explained to me what was going in both our minds.'

Gently placing the spoon on her plate,she looked at raman ' tell me how many men would have exercised the same control that you showed that day and more importantly how many men would have understood and still remained calm and cool about it without showing any hint of anger or frustration.'

Raman wiping his mouth with the napkin ' i don't know and i don't want to know what others would have done for my life revolves around you.I am going to marry you.I am going to make love to you,sorry i am going to have great sex with you in all possible manners and positions and that is a given.So,i would rather do all that without any guilt from us or from our parents who will not understand or agree to us having sex before marriage.For that matter even oral sex or whatever.I would rather wait,marry you,sweep you of your feet and then take of your clothes and do what all i want to do.

We have our whole lives before us my beautiful woman and i want to do everything perfectly and without any ill feelings or negative thoughts from anybody.so that is what i think and feel and felt the other night.'

Jeeva stared at him ' great,but what were those words,what was that you said? something about oral sex.'

Raman blushing ' crap,i talk so beautifully,eloquently and all my woman can do is respond to one innocent comment' and bunching the napkin,threw it at her.

Jeeva looked at him ' mister,is that a blush in your cheeks.I am not sure for it is the first time in a long time that i am seeing a grown up man blush.'

Raman shook his head sadly and dramatically ' enna koduma saravanan.'

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Ann Landers

Songs that moved me to tears

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCQMlyXMRJE

Romeo and Juliet (1968) - What Is A Youth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FHpmn-KYec

A time for us Romeo and Juliet 1968

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rT46hVQHIA

Love Story - Originally sung by Andy Williams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUTlztydlIY

Titanic Song-My Heart Will Go On

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JWTaaS7LdU

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjRs0KjYzbo

NALAM VAAZHA ENNAALUM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMXz3toWrKg

Kalyana Malai Kondadum Penne

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLlWrQCCHv0

Rasathi Unna Kanatha Nenju

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EPfHclt7As

Unna Nenachen Paattu Apoorva Sagodharargal

Redemption 204

All three top heads of the Indian intelligence dept sat in shock and looked at each other for the bombshell that Rudran had just dropped with the words that the man in all the images was not the same person but ten different people was not only beyond their imagination but beyond belief.

Gen.Veer singh removed his glasses and asked Major.Param to switch on all the lights in the room and they all blinked into existence and bathed all four of them under their harsh and bright light.

RAW chief sujinder looked at Rudran ' Rudran,if somebody else had said the same words,i might have found that very funny and preposterous.But when you say it,i know that it means something very important for among us,your brains and memory are beyond par and time and time again,you have proved what a super computer your thinking powers are.But,how is this possible rudran,how can it be possible for ten men to look the same and i mean absolutely the same.'

Major.param looked at rudran ' rudy,i have heard of identical twins but ten men looking the same,nearly identical.Isn't that a bit too much of a stretch or maybe you are wrong in this single situation.'

Rudran poured himself a cup of steaming black coffee and took a huge sip of it and looked at Major.param and the other chiefs ' gentleman,i have just one word for you and that is cloning and i will first add a famous name to that term cloning and the name is " DOLLY."

" Dolly" whispered Gen.veer singh and looking at the others ' isn't dolly the name of the first animal to be cloned.Dolly the sheep.'

Rudran nodded ' dolly might have been the first successfully cloned animal to our knowledge but do any of you want to bet what all crap,our allies and enemies would have got on in their labs all over the world, given today's technology in genetic engineering,super microscopes and technology.

He sat on the table in front of all three of them ' but forget all of that for i will start of with a few examples from our own backyard.'

With a smile ' have anyone of you heard about a person called " mango man " in lucknow.'

All three smiled and shook their heads and rudran ' well,if you happen to go to lucknow and mention the word mango man,they will direct you to the house of Haji Kalimullah Khan who has managed to grow 300 different types of mangoes in one tree through grafting.'

Major param nearly leapt out of his chair ' rudy,what,300 different types of mangoes.wow!' and rudran smiled and nodded ' and then there is Ravi Marshetwar,from maharashtra who has grown 51 types of different mangoes on one tree in his house.we talk about dolly being the first cloned animal when in fact all scientists know of Hans Dreisch who cloned a sea urchin way back in 1885.'


Rudran looked at Gen.veer singh ' sir,can i remind you of your favourite actor,sir lawrence olivier and the film Boys from brazil in which he acts as Ezra Lieberman , an aging Nazi hunter living in Vienna, Austria.'

Gen.veer singh ' yes rudran' and looking at param and sujinder ' in that film,hitlers trusted scientist,the evil Mengele begins cloning hitler and actually succeeds in making many young hitlers through artificial insemination and cloning methods.I including many laughed it off but bloody hell,it is beginning to all make sense now.'

Hurriedly looking at rudran ' rudy beta,what do we do now? what do you think i should tell the prime minister?'

Rudran stood up ' boss,just hold off from meeting the defence minister and the Prime minister and even if you happen to meet them,tell them that we are working on it and that we will have an answer by evening.'

He looked at each of them ' give me a couple of hours to go through all this information and i will have an answer and solution for this problem.Just arrange for some sandwiches and a bucket of hot coffee and i will be all right.'

Rudran turned to the screen and all three of his seniors knew that he was now diving deep into the problem and as was his nature,he would shut himself off from all outside stimuli and concentrate totally on what was in front of him.

Rudran kept playing the slide show again and again and then picking up the intercom,spoke to one of the technicians who handled all the information that was gathered from around the country ' Mr.Maninder,rudran here.Listen,i am here in the den going through all the images that were sent via mossad.i want you to go back a few weeks and gather data from all the international airports in india and also from all the major domestic airports in our country.Please maninder,i need that information as fast as possible.'

After sitting quietly for some time,Rudran suddenly felt very claustrophobic and just wanted to escape and be out in the open.

He called major.param ' major,i am just stepping out for an hour or so and if needed i will be strolling through the war memorial museum in red fort'

Rudran got into the vehicle that he had come in and was surprised when three deadly armed commandos got into the rear of the vehicle and one of them a sergeant ' sir,major.param's orders sir.'

Rudran nodded and asked the driver to go to red fort and to park outside the war museum.

Getting out of the vehicle,he looked at all four of them ' please,stay back here and wait for me.But,just to satisfy you people,go in and make sure the place is clear of any potential threats and then i will enter the place.There is only one way into this place and it is the only way out.'

The three commandos ran quickly into the museum and came back after a few minutes ' all clear sir.just a few tourists and their families.mostly women and children.'

Rudran removed his coolers and placing it on the vehicle's dashboard walked slowly into the museum as he always did during his visits and stay in delhi.

Pin drop silence filled the corridors and Rudran walked slowly looking at all the photos,weapons that filled the walls behind thick glass walls and all protected by sensors and alarm systems.

Suddenly sensing a presence behind him,he turned to see a burkha clad woman walking purposefully towards him and his body tensed a bit and he threw his senses and expanded it all around the museum and to his surprise the woman coming towards him was not armed or did not project any kind of danger.

Even as she walked towards him,Rudran took in the pretty toes with its nails covered in expensive looking paint and also the designer leather sandals that wrapped themselves around her feet and the woman was about 5ft.5 or nearly 5ft 6 and very fair.The perfume she was wearing was subtly expensive and yet it drifted towards rudran without over powering him.

Curious as to what a muslim woman,totally clad in a black burkha would want from him,Rudran stared into her eyes that were the only things he could see of her body and waited calmly and without an expression on his lean face.

Good morning my dear friends

First of all i want to thank you all again and again for indulging me and my stories and for pressing that like button.

Time,time is so precious my people.Every minute wasted is a minute lost and can never be gotten back.So,even in traffic,even in long queues,even when you are all alone cooking,play some music,listen to some favourite songs and let those moments be spent in what you like and desire.

Enna pathi sollanuna,morning walkla,i hear an assorted mix of songs from old,very old and current ones.Sadly not many current ones.

Anyway,i think we have come to a very crucial part of our story in that of Redemption and i hope i am telling the story of rudran and bhairav in simple terms and using simple examples.

I myself am surprised that redemption has crossed 200 episodes and is only now beginning to open the heart of rudran's beginnings and there is so much to come in the future.

In what if the return,DIG Arivuselvam is yet to realise what is going on and who he is up against and in Jannal oram raman and jeeva will further cement their love even though small and unexpected problems arise and all that soon and in the coming chapters.

Independence day is around the corner and i as always remain amused and at the same time bemused with the word independence when so many millions are without food and access to proper toilets.

The country seems more divided than before and is getting more divided with caste and communities.

I say no comments to questions posed to me about politics,big boss and other popular topics for none of it makes sense and will never make sense to me for i am not hooked or brain washed by television or its marketing techniques that are done for ratings.

I wish all of you and your families a happy Krishna jayanthi and give you all my best wishes and love.Be well.