*From To Sathish*-Sathish's new movie Info & Pics pg20! - Page 9

Originally posted by: s.satishkumar

The difference lies between hanging on to the right woman and chasing the wrong ones

Comebacks and quick witted replies.


Senator Fritz Hollings Vs. Henry McMastor

When challenged by his Republican opponent during a televised debate to take a drug test.

Fritz: I'll take a drug test, if you'll take an IQ test.



Reverend Edward Everett Hale vs the U.S. Senate

When asked if he prayed for the Senators.

Hale: No, I look at the Senators and pay for the country.


Calvin Coolidge vs a lady at a White House dinner

Woman: Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.

Coolidge: You lose.


Thomas Reed vs Henry Clay

Clay: I would rather be right than be president.

Reed: The gentleman need not trouble himself, he'll never be either.


Lady Astor vs Churchill

Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.

Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife I'd drink it.



Ilka Chase vs Anonymous actress

Anonymous actress: I enjoyed reading your book. Who wrote it for you?

Ilka Chase: Darling, I'm so glad that you liked it. Who read it to you?



After lunching at the Algonquin Hotel one day, the American humorist Robert Benchley and his companions walked through the lobby and out the front door. Still engaged in conversation with his friends, Benchley offhandedly said to the uniformed man standing by the front door, "My good man, would you please get me a taxi?" The man immediately took offense and replied indignantly, "I'm not a doorman. I happen to be a rear admiral in the United States Navy." Benchley instantly quipped:

"All right then,
get me a battleship."


Edna Ferber worked for a number of years as a news reporter in the Midwest before moving to New York City in 1912. After her novel "So Big" won the Pulitzer Prize in 1926, she quickly followed up with the hit play "Show Boat" (so successful and financially remunerative, she called it her "oil well"). Ferber was fond of wearing tailored suits well before they became fashionable. One day, she arrived at the Algonquin Hotel wearing a suit that was very similar to one that the English actor Nol Coward was wearing. Ferber and Coward were friends (she once described him as her favorite theater companion) and Coward saw an opportunity to engage in a bit of playful badinage with one of his favorite people. Carefully looking her over, he observed, "Edna, you look almost like a man." Ferber looked Coward over in a similar manner and came back with a classic riposte:

"So do you."



Some of history's greatest replies come from people we don't usually associate with great wit. In the decades prior to World War II, Mohandas "Mahatma" Gandhi led a massive campaign of civil disobedience designed to help colonial India win its independence from the British Empire. In 1931, shortly after being named Time magazine's "Man of the Year," Gandhi traveled to London to meet with British authorities. The entire nation was curious to learn more about this little brown man, as many called him. Constantly swarmed by press and photographers, Gandhi was peppered with questions wherever he went. One day a reporter yelled out, "What do you think of Western civilization?" It was a defining moment, and Gandhi's reply instantly transformed him from an object of curiosity into a celebrity. In his heavy Indian accent, he answered:
Mohandas Gandhi

"I think it would be a good idea."


Alfred Hitchcock's 1944 film "Lifeboat," a drama about eight survivors of a freighter sunk by a German U-Boat, was one of the most popular films of the year (it was also nominated for three Academy Awards). While posing for publicity photographs for the film, actress Mary Anderson approached the director and asked, "What is my best side, Mr. Hitchcock?" His reply was soon being circulated all around Hollywood:
Alfred Hitchcock

"My dear, you're sitting on it."

Something about you that I truly admire,
Words from your mouth often inspire.
Glass is half-full, you clearly see,
Your positivity brings joy to me.

You're a combination of special and rare,
So many talents, with the world you may share.
Just the way you make others feel,
Is so wonderful, it's simply so real.

Wherever you go, whatever you seek,
I know you will conquer, no matter the peak.
By the look in your eyes, I can sense your drive,
I'm so happy, I know you will thrive.

Day by Day

You can do it, I know you can,
I trust and believe in your plan.
It has been processed in your mind,
The ideal path, you shall find.

It's clear that you have what it takes,
You simply won't need any brakes.
Since you have so much passion inside,
This dream of yours will be a special ride.

You can do it, I know you can,
I'm your first and biggest fan.
One more thing I'd like to say,
Enjoy the journey - day by day.

The content i am posting was forwarded by a very intelligent and knowledgeable friend of mine and yet i am stating this for i don't want anybody's feathers to get ruffled.I am simply posting this cos it sounds interesting and thought you all might enjoy reading it.be well.

Rick Price River Of Love

When I'm in trouble
When I'm sinking down
Caught up in this struggle
Stuck out on the wrong side of town
Lord I know you won't forsake me
You help me rise above
Let your spirit take me down
To the river of love
Wash my soul in your water
Turn me around
And I'll surrender all like I ought to
When I go down
To the river of love
River of love
Take me down, down down
To the river of love
Dip my hands in your water
So cool and clear
Pouring down from the altar
There's healing here
Lord I know you won't forsake me
You help me rise above
Let your spirit take me down
To the river of love
Wash my soul in your water
Turn me around
And I'll surrender all like I ought to
When I go down
To the river of love
River of love
Take me down, down down
To the river of love

Quotes to live for,to die for and to take time to decipher and ponder

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." — Vernon Law


"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." — Soren Kierkegaard


"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." — James Conan


"Silence. All human unhappiness comes from not knowing how to stay quietly in a room." — Blaise Pascal


"It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes." — A. Favre


When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." – Dr. Seuss

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip." – Jonathan Carroll


"There is no remedy for love but to love more." – Henry David Thoreau


"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." – Robert A. Heinlein



"The only way to have a friend is to be one." — Ralph Waldo Emerson


"A friend is a present you give yourself." — Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson



"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes." — Author Unknown

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives" — Euripides

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE ***

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movies, theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her grey hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to " walk out"

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you"

WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE ***

1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .

2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..."

3. She shudders if you use four letter words.

4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconut oil from her hair.)

5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative.

6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower.

7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra)

8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the dog or for herself.

9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet.

10. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth.

11. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation')

12. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on.

13. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it ..

14. Her Mangal Sutra weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers.

15. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.

What do you call a Malayalee drunkard?
Kutty Sark.

Why did the Malayalee cross the road?
To join the union on the other side.

What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.

What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass

What do you call a talkative Bengali?
Bolbol Chatterjee.

What do you call an outlawed Bengali?
Bonduk Bannerjee.

What do you call a dark Bengali in a dark cave?
Kalidas Guha.